Dimitri (Immortals of New Orleans, Book 6) (29 page)

“Ilsbeth didn’t get the memo,” Gillian said quietly. She submerged deeper into the soapy water.

“She’s a witch. She knew the deal from the very beginning. I tried to make it up to her, but she’s pissed.” Dimitri sunk his hands onto Gillian’s shoulders, massaging them. “I’m just sorry that you have to be privy to all this nonsense. You know you can feel the difference?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not the first person you’ve dated. Had sex with. This is different. And it’s not just the mating, Gil.” He paused, pressing his lips to her wet hair. “The heat, the passion we have is off the charts. But it’s not just sex, cher. It’s everything about us. The way I feel about you.” Dimitri cringed at how inarticulate he sounded, but his words eluded him.

“I care about you…too much,” she admitted, reaching up to his hands. “I get that you dated other people, but what’s going on inside me; it’s like I’m feeling everything tenfold. I’m not a jealous person, I swear. But tonight I could have killed Lacey when she went to bite you. And Ilsbeth? She’s just a bitch.”

Dimitri laughed softly. “Yeah, that’s about it. But she’s a powerful bitch. So I’m trying to play nice.”

“Did you ever think that maybe she isn’t?”

“What do you mean?”

“Just something Lacey said.”

“You can’t really trust her, ya know. Tonight. Case in point.”

“I know.” Gillian turned around onto her knees, facing Dimitri. She pushed out of the water, her breasts dripping, and balanced herself with her hands on the side of the tub. “But maybe you shouldn’t trust the witch. Maybe she had something to do with you losing your wolf.”

“No, I know where I picked up this crazy bit of evil. I was there, remember.”

“But Ilsbeth was too. She had reason for you to lose your wolf. Witches can be with mortals, right?”

“Yeah, but…”

“What happens when you lose your beast? You’ll essentially be human. Maybe you’ll continue not to age, but you’ll still be vulnerable like a human. No shifting. No pack. No mate.”

Dimitri’s blood pumped hard as Gillian formulated the accusation that had grown from the seed Lacey had planted. He shook his head, and wiped his hands on his towel. Here he had a beautiful wet and naked woman in his room but they were discussing evil that had no bounds. He swore to himself that before the night was through, they’d be back to making love instead of talking about his exes.

“Just listen,” she persisted. “If you weren’t wolf, then you wouldn’t need to mate. She could be with you…there’d be nothing stopping you from being with her.”

“Except for the fact that I don’t love her. I wasn’t even close to falling in love with her, so there’s no way that would happen,” he argued. He laughed as he spoke, amused at how Gillian didn’t know how much he liked her. “I want to be with you, Gilly. Not because you’re my mate, either. I mean, sure, that’s what brought us together. But you’re brave. And you don’t give up. I want to be with you…just you.”

A smile broke across Gillian’s face at his confession.

“I want to mate with you now,” she declared. “I don’t want to wait.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Dimitri found himself saying. He’d kill to mate with her, but that was exactly the problem; her tiger would die.

“Why would you say that? No, forget it, I know why. Is this about me?” Gillian splashed hot water over her chest, trying to warm herself.

“Of course it’s about you,” he snapped, torn about what to do. He didn’t want to hurt her any more than he already had.

“Tonight I heard a howl…” She looked down into the bath, then slowly lifted her gaze, aware that she’d dropped a bomb. “I heard…I think it was my wolf.”

“You what?” His voice grew louder. He shoved out of his chair, and began to pace, plowing his fingers through his hair. “This is crazy. We haven’t mated yet. There’s no way…we must’ve done something…what about your cat? I saw what you did to that guy tonight. A wolf couldn’t do that by itself. And when you shifted, you were a cat. I saw your tiger with my own two eyes.”

“I don’t know what’s happening, but I know what I heard. Before Lacey came into the bathroom I was all by myself.”

“You know what this means?” he huffed, concerned about her feline.

“I’m changing. I can already feel it.”

“Because I marked you, goddammit,” he said, flooded with guilt.

“I let you. I wanted it as much as you did,” she insisted, fingering the area where he’d bitten her. “It’s done. And there’s something else…something I haven’t told you.”

“What?” he asked, scrubbing his face. Goddess, what hadn’t she told him? When she didn’t answer, he approached the bath and sat down in front of her, resisting the urge to take her in his arms.

“I should have told you…I just didn’t want you to want me because of it. Chaz, he knows. It’s what he wants. It’s why he won’t give up.” Her voice cracked.

“I don’t know what you’re about to tell me but we’ll deal with it. What is it?”

“My mother told me…Jax thinks that…”

“Fucking Jax knows this secret and you haven’t told me? Honesty, it’s all I ask,” he yelled. Dimitri could forgive many things, but lying wasn’t one of them.

“Just, please let me finish. I don’t even know if it’s true. It’s like this urban legend about our breed. But Jax thinks it’s true. He knew my father, so maybe he saw it firsthand.”

“What?” His patience grew thin.

“Supposedly when I mate, the person I mate with…”

“Me. I’m the person you’re going to mate with, Gilly. You’re mine,” he asserted.

“You…you’ll take on attributes of my tiger. I lose my cat, but somehow you get them…like gifts. You’ll be stronger. Your teeth, your claws, they can change. You’d still be a wolf, but you’d gain her strength.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me?” Léopold had mentioned that she might have gifts but he’d always thought whatever it was had to do with her healing abilities.

“I’m not joking. I lose my ability to shift to tiger. Well, we don’t even know if that’s true but I can feel her fading already. My mate, on the other hand…you, you’ll be able to call on her.”

No longer able to restrain himself, Dimitri took her by the arms, gently pulling her upward, until they were inches apart, face to face. “Why, Gilly? Why after all this time did you keep this a secret?”

“I’m sorry. I know I should have told you but…”

“It didn’t make any sense why Chaz was after you. He’s doing all of this just so he can steal your power?”

“Yes,” she nodded.

“Did your father do this to your mother? Did he hurt her?”

“No, no. She loved him. She always made sure I knew how much he was loved…how much he loved me. They knew when they mated that this could happen.”

“You haven’t answered my question, though. Why didn’t you tell me about your gifts? Did you think I’d steal from you?” He felt her shiver, and pressed her to his chest.

“No. Yes. No, it’s not like that. I’m just afraid. I didn’t want you to want me so you could be Alpha.” She tried to pull away but he held her still.

“We need to get one thing straight, darlin’. I chose not to kill Chaz that night. I don’t want to leave to be Alpha of someone else’s pack. I don’t want to be Alpha of my pack either. If I wanted to challenge Logan to be Alpha, I could do it any damn day of the week. But I don’t. Dealin’ with the weight of the pack is something that Logan took on when Marcel died and he’s got a load of responsibility on those shoulders. Our pack has had enough upheaval in the past twelve months. What I did choose was my position as his beta, supporting Logan, because I love him. It’s where I’m most needed in our pack.” Dimitri took a deep breath. He couldn’t believe she’d hidden the truth from him, thinking he’d want her gifts. His Alpha knew what he was capable of when it came to a battle of strength, but when Logan agreed to lead the pack, Dimitri had made a deliberate decision to support his friend. “Gillian, do you think so little of me that I’d be just like Chaz? That I’d take a mate just so I’d be able to sprout tiger fangs? Seriously?”

“You don’t understand. I had to be sure…after what happened with Chaz. I didn’t know you.”

“I’m not like Chaz. And you know it.”

“I just…I just wanted to be loved by someone. Not because I can give them something. Or because of who I am. I hate this mating thing…I just want to be able to choose on my own who I love. I don’t want some stupid fate thing to take over my life. I want you…I want you to choose me for me,” she cried. “Is it so much to ask? Don’t answer because there is no other way for us.”

“Gillian, I can’t change our circumstances. We are who we are.”

“In here.” She pounded her chest with her palm. “This is what should matter. I needed to know that you liked me for me, not because I can give you something.”

“Goddess, you know I care about you. Why do you think I’m worried about mating you? I don’t want to hurt you. To know that I’ll be the reason you’ll lose your ability to shift…I just don’t know if I can do that to you. It’s not fair to you.” He cupped her face, his thumb tracing her bottom lip.

“All I know is that I can’t lose you,” she responded. “If we mate, there’s still a chance I can give you my gift. This thing with Ilsbeth. What if she did this to you on purpose?”

“What does any of this have to do with Ilsbeth?”

“Because maybe she has no intention of really healing you. Think about this. If she’s so powerful and all knowing, why did she have to bring in someone else to help her? Maybe she’s just waiting this thing out…waiting for your wolf to die. If there’s no wolf, then she certainly doesn’t have to worry about you finding or at this point, keeping your mate. Once your wolf is dead, there’s no reason to mate with me.”

“Listen, I’ll be the first one to admit that Ilsbeth was pissed at me, but I don’t think that she’d go that far.”

“Really? What makes you think she wouldn’t? She’s not just a little bit upset with you. I saw the way she was looking at you…the way she touched you and no matter what you say, she still wants you. I may not know witches very well but I know when a woman is jealous.”

Dimitri sighed, thinking it had been one hell of a night. As much as he loathed to admit it, Gillian’s theory had merit. A pit of disgust curled in his stomach as he realized that Ilsbeth could have done this to him on purpose. The night he’d come out of hell, having saved Logan’s daughter, Ilsbeth had given him a look of pity. At least that’s what he’d thought at the time. Maybe it was guilt for what she’d done? Anger boiled inside him as he gave the situation new perspective.

“Even so, the sorcerer seemed legit. I’ve got to give his spell a try. There aren’t many options left on the table.”

“What if…” Gillian paused. “What if we mate tonight? My gifts…they could destroy this thing inside you…maybe forever.”

“No. No way. You’re grasping at straws. This thing with my wolf. You tried healing me before and it only worked temporarily. I’m not doing that to you.”

“I am not grasping at straws. Am I desperate? You’re damn straight I am. I’m not going to sit back and wait for the witch who did this to you to save you,” she cried, pushing out of his arms. “No, just let me go. You don’t believe me. You don’t believe I can do this.”

“Believe what? That you want to kill yourself to save me?”

“I’m doing this to save us. Us!”

Dimitri shook his head and blew out a breath.

“I healed you once,” Gillian pressed. “My ability to heal is still there, maybe not as strong as before, but when we mate, my gift, it may be enough.”

“No.” Dimitri couldn’t allow her to sacrifice herself for him.

“Please, Dimitri. Just hear me out. Maybe when it’s all said and done, I’ll never be able to shift as cat again, but my wolf, she’s there. I just know it…she’s in here.” Tears streamed down her face and she swiped at them, turning her head away. “You have to let me do this for you. I need you in my life. There’s not much time left. Tonight you couldn’t shift. Soon there won’t be a wolf to even save.”

“Please don’t cry, Gil,” he pleaded.

“I’m losing my tiger already. You’re losing your wolf. We can save each other. And I’m not crying,” she said with a small smile.

“Okay, tough girl. So those aren’t tears, huh?”

“No,” she lied, beginning to laugh. She wasn’t sure if it was out of frustration, grief or the fact that she was sitting naked in a tub arguing with her handsome beta, who looked like he was about to go feral at her suggestion.

“I don’t like lying,” he replied, unfolding a large black towel.

“I’m not lying,” she stated with a grin.

“I think you might be. You’ve done many things today to get yourself in trouble. You goin’ for broke?”

“Not crying. You see any tears here?” She lay back into the tub, intentionally keeping her erect nipples at the surface so he could see them. “I'm merely trying to get you to see things from my perspective.”

“What are you doing, cher?”

“Nothing, what do you think I’m doing?” She gave him a seductive smile.

Dimitri wanted to argue that she was wrong, that they shouldn’t mate, but he craved the woman before him. The Goddess had given him a fighter, to be sure. In the past week, she’d killed and maimed, protecting herself from the enemy. Her spirit never faltered despite the fact the war was far from over. The more he thought about it the more he thought she was right about Ilsbeth.
Could she heal him by mating?
In lieu of hard evidence one way or another, he wasn’t convinced either way.

Regardless of whether or not it was true, his wolf would demand their mating sooner or later. With her naked and flirting, he was definitely leaning toward sooner. The only real way to deny their mating would be for him to leave, to physically separate himself from her. Doing so was as impossible as asking him to fly to the moon on the wings of an eagle. It just wasn’t happening.

Her amber eyes flashed, bringing him back to the crux of the situation.
Mate or not to mate?
The only thing he knew for certain was that he’d make mad love to the woman in his bathtub tonight and wait until tomorrow before deciding on their mating. It would tear him to shreds if she chose not to mate with him in the morning, but he wanted to give her time to make sure that she wasn’t overreacting to the earlier trauma. Her choice had to be made with a clear head and heart.