Dirty (16 page)

Chapter Seventeen

“I’m sure you’ll understand when I tell you why you’ll no longer be allowed at my fights. It’s nothing personal, Paul but I foolishly gave you a second chance which is not something I usually do. But since you’re doing this favor for me, I figured what the hell. But you’ve taken advantage of my largess and this is your penalty.” Misha puffed on his cigar and took a deep drag.

Paul had suspected there would be trouble as he was dragged out of the warehouse by Misha’s guards. He once again found himself in the backseat of Misha’s car.

“I suppose it would be pointless for me to tell you that the other guy started it.”

“I am aware of that, which is why you’re not dead right now. Douglas is a bit of a hothead and has caused some problems in the past.”

“Douglas?”

“The guy you just barely managed not to kill. That was is his name.”

“Oh.” Paul could have sworn the guy’s name was Dylan. But it really got to him that this was not the first but the second time he nearly killed a man whose name he didn’t know all because he didn’t know how to handle his anger.

“Is that all you can say?”

“What do you want me to say? Misha, I fucked up okay? I wasn’t trying to kill him. I just don’t know how…” What the hell was he doing here? Was he really on the very cusp of telling this crime boss his problems?

“Paul, I have men at my disposal who will take care of the kinds of injuries you’ve inflicted on Douglas that’s off the record, I had done with Isaac. That is the man you nearly chocked to death, although I hear he’s been having some blackout episodes in the last few weeks.”

Paul sunk deeper into his seat. “I don’t know what else to say.”

“I’m glad you realize there’s nothing else for you to say. I will be frank with you, another reason why I haven’t put a bullet in your brain right now is because I’ve had to backtrack on my word in regards to you keeping Orisa. I realize the days have now turned into weeks, but I’ve suffered a couple of setbacks. The safe house I had planned to transfer her to was burned to the ground. There is a very dangerous man who wants her back, but I won’t allow that to happen.”

“Who wants her? You might as well tell me.”

“Let’s just say, he’s an old friend. Like I’ve told you before my friend, the less you know the better. Just be assured that you won’t have her for much longer. I believe I’ve found another location for her until I can bring her out of hiding.”

Paul’s curiosity got the better of him. “Are you in love with her?”

The Russian took another puff of his cigar before answering. “Define love.”

“Well, I’d imagine a man like you wouldn’t waste so much time on someone they didn’t at least care about at the minimum. Your expression wouldn’t soften every time you mentioned her name. You probably wouldn’t lay awake at night thinking of nothing but her. You imagine a future with her and you want to be a better person because she inspires that feeling inside of you. You hurt on the inside when she’s not around and you get the slightest bit jealous you when see her even talk to another man. Your first thought in the morning and last thought at night is her. She can drive you insane with anger one moment but in the next all you can think about is making love to her until nothing else matters. And there may be times when you get every indication that being with her is toxic or not a good idea but you don’t care because you know she was the one made just for you.” Paul hastily wiped a tear from his one eye that wasn’t swollen shut, embarrassed that he’d allowed his emotions to get the better of him in front of a man who could easily end
h
is life with the snap of his fingers.

Misha nodded. “That sounds about right. Yes, I love Orisa but, we won’t get our happy ending. The least I can do for her at this point is to keep her safe which was my promise to her and I will see this through. And you? Are these bursts you’ve experienced lately because of the lady you love?”

“I never mentioned a woman.”

The Russian chuckled
,
“You didn’t need to. The way you described love could only be said by a man who is deep in its trenches. Unlike me, you might be able to have your fairy tale ending, but you will have to decide if she’s worth fighting for and if she is, you’re going to have to deal with these tantrums of yours. Find out the root of your problems and solve it, otherwise you’ll never know peace my friend.”

Paul never in a million years would have ever thought he’d be getting life advice from a gangster. “That’s actually pretty profound.”

“
Da
, one doesn’t need a fancy degree in psychology to see that you have issues you need to work out. Paul, I don’t say this to just anyone but I like you. I see a lot of myself in you. I was once a very angry boy who became an angry man. Of course
,
you and I have chosen different paths in life. You’ve gone the straight and narrow, while I…” he chuckled. “I have pursued darker avenues. But no matter how squeaky clean you try to live your life, every once in a while, you’ll feel that angry arise. It will bring you to places like
this
. You need to handle that anger before it finally consumes you.”

Paul had a lot to think about by the time he made it home later that night. Fortunately for him, despite the
un
holy can of whoop as
s
he’d opened on Douglas, the other man was actually
able
to get up and walk. According to Misha, the other guy would be banned from the fights as well because Paul wasn’t the first man he’d picked a fight with. Not that it mattered, Paul could have killed him and all because he couldn’t properly deal with his issues.

It was probably for the best that Misha banned him from the fights. Sure they provided him with a temporary outlet for his pain and anger but
the relief
only lasted for so long. He needed to face his issues and the two biggest ones were his father and Simone.

The situation with his father wouldn’t be easy because it meant having to face this man one last time before exorcising him from his and Alyssa’s
lives
for good. If he had to go to the parole board and have him sent back to prison
,
he would. The situation with Simone was a lot more intricate and he wasn’t sure exactly how to fix it or if he actually could.

He’d based what they had together on sex which was fine if there were no feelings involved, but there were. Paul could no longer deny that he was in love with her but he had royally screwed up because he was a fucked up person and so was she. He should have recognized it before, but Simone was in some kind of pain as well. Paul could kick himself a thousand times for not interpreting
t
he look in her eyes or that far off expression on her face. Now that he
thought
about it, the time he’d caught with that other man in alley, she didn’t seem to be that into it. In fact, for a brief moment, he thought she might be in distress. That’s what he’d initially thought when he came upon them because he couldn’t imagine his Simone would cavort with a complete stranger.

And then there was that detective. Something about that situation didn’t quite pass the smell test either. It was almost as if she was repulsed by sex, but each time
he and Simone
were together, she’d responded as if she couldn’t get enough.

He was so confused. His head hurt and his left eye that was now swollen shut hurt like a son of a bitch. When he pulled into his driveway, he saw another car. At first he thought this might be trouble for Orisa because who went visiting at one in the morning. But on giving the car a closer examination, he recognized it as Craig’s car. He’d forgotten his brother-in-law had gotten a new vehicle recently.

Paul frowned as he got out of the car. The only reason Craig would be here is if Alyssa sent him. It would be just like his sister to do something like that. As soon as he got out of the car, Craig got of his, and the other man didn’t look happy to see him.

Paul waited for his brother-in-law to approach him. “What the fuck man
?
We’ve been calling you. Your sister is worried out of her mind that something might have happened to you when you just ducked out of dinner without saying goodbye. And then when we came here after we left the Rothschilds’
,
you weren’t here. You don’t know the trouble I went through to convince your sister
to
let me take her home. I promised her I’d come back out here and wait for you until you arrived. And what the hell happened to your face
?
And
don’t give me that bullshit excuse about having a sparing accident
!
You may have fool
ed
Alyssa but you haven’t fooled me. What’s been going on with you, dude?”

Paul ran his fingers through his hair in frustration trying not to get angry with Craig. He knew the other man was only railing at him out of concern. “Look man, I’m sorry for causing you and Alyssa to worry like that. I just had to leave to clear my head. I wouldn’t have been good company for anyone.”

Craig didn’t seem a bit impressed with Paul’s explanation when he shrugged dismissively. “That’s still no excuse for you to not at least warn everyone that you’re leaving, instead of that shitty ass phone call to Alyssa that explained nothing. I would think that you have more respect for your hosts than to do that them. It’s bad enough
that
they had to deal with that episode from Simone on top of your rudeness.”

Paul froze. “What episode are you talking about?”

“She had a total meltdown. I’ve never seen anything like it, dude. She was on the bathroom floor crying and screaming. At one point
,
she started banging her head against the floor. It was scariest thing I’ve ever seen. We all tried to subdue her so she wouldn’t hurt herself but it was like she some kind of demon possession. I felt like I was in the middle of a horror movie. James called his personal physician who had to actually come over and sedate her.”

Paul’s heart sank to his feet. Did he do that to her? Drive her to a nervous breakdown? “Where is she now?”

“She’s at James and Noelle’s. The doctor wanted to admit her, but Noelle insisted they wait until the morning to see how responsive she is. The doctor will make a determination then.”

“I gotta go to her.” Paul would have turned to leave but Craig caught him by the arm.

“Whoa, buddy. The last thing she needs is anymore company. The woman needs her rest. Besides, how do we know that you didn’t cause this freak out of hers? You were after all with her before Noelle went looking for the two of you.”

Paul leaned against his car, suddenly feeling weak. “You’re right. I just may have been the cause.”

Craig sighed. “Or maybe not. That was a cheap shot on my part. I guess I’m just frustrated because Lis is worried and it really scared the both of us to see Simone lose it like that. I was scared for her. And poor Noelle is beside herself. There was nothing anyone could say or do to comfort her. You probably weren’t the cause, Paul. Something like that was probably deep seated.”

Craig’s reassurance didn’t exactly make him feel better. In fact
,
it made him feel like an even bigger asshole to have his suspicions confirmed. Simone was in some kind of pain
and
he’d failed to notice.

“Craig, I should have been there. The truth is, Simone and I were together and then we argued and that’s why I left.”

Craig walked over to him and patted his shoulder. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, man. I’m sorry to suggest you were even the cause. Anything could have triggered what she went through.”

“Yeah, but I’ve been screwing up a lot lately. I’ve let so many people down. Simone, Alyssa, Noelle, James, you.”

“Som
etimes
we’re allowed
to screw up
and you probably more than others. I know you’ve been there for your sister since you were kids and have taken good care of h
e
r. She told me how you
looked
out for Noelle before she and James settled their differences. I’ve never told you this before but I’ve always been jealous of you.”

“Me? What for?”

“Ever since I’ve been with Alyssa, it’s always been Paul this and Paul that. She thinks the sun rises and sets on you. You’re her hero and I never thought I’d be able to live up to her awesome big brother.”

Paul felt his heart swell within his chest at Craig’s admission. There was a time when it was just him and Lis and
t
hey only had each other.
He’d
spent her whole life looking out for her, but he realized, maybe it was time for him to step back. She had Craig. “Maybe I’m her awesome big brother but whenever she’s with me, it’s Craig this and that. Trust me if she had to choose I don’t think there would be any contest, but I see how much you love her and I’m thankful that you’re in her life.”

Craig grinned. “That’s the best compliment you could have ever given me.”

They shook hands.

“It’s the truth.”

“So, what should I tell Alyssa when I get home?”

“Just tell her I’m all right and that I’m sorry. I’ll give her a call first thing in the morning.”

“Not too early. You know she likes to sleep in on Sundays and pretty soon she won’t get to have too many lazy Sunday mornings.”

“Why is that?

“Well, she kinda wanted to tell you herself so when she does, act surprised okay?
We’re pregnant.”

“That’s fantastic! I’m going to be an uncle?”

“Yeah, but let’s keep this between us since she doesn’t want a lot of people to know yet until she gets to the safety point. Understandably
,
she’s a little nervous after the miscarriage.”

“Understood. That’s great news though. I’m so happy for you. I know you’ll make a great father.”

“Thanks, that means a lot. I should probably get going. I have a feeling if I don’t check in, Alyssa will call me at any moment.”

“Drive safe.”

When Craig left, Paul finally went inside. It was
quiet
and all the lights were out which meant that Orisa was blissfully asleep. Paul collapsed on the couch and processed everything that happened that night. Something Misha said about not having his happy ending. Paul wondered if after everything that had happened if it was possible to still get his.