Dirty Dining (27 page)

“I never thought about research in those terms.”

“And it probably explains why you went to law school. You have a different way of looking at the world. You fit what you see into predefined boxes. Scientists break up the boxes and figure out how they work so we can build new boxes how and where we need them. We try to define what we see rather than see only what we can define.”

Jeremy was right. Brice didn’t understand the world in the same way. It was eye-opening and humbling.

“What can I do now? I can’t go back, as much as I’d like to. The final decision wasn’t mine.”

“Brice, this isn’t about PharmaTek anymore.”

The words sent chills down Brice’s spine.

“Would you leave? Please, just get dressed and go.”

It was the last thing Brice expected to hear. He reached out, but Jeremy pushed him away.

“No, Jeremy, don’t do this.” He tried not to plead as he pulled his clothes on.

“The numbers for our relationship don’t look very good this quarter.” Jeremy handed Brice his bag and opened the door.

And Brice found himself on the other side of it. He stood in the hall for a few minutes, trying to take it in. He was scared. He might never see Jeremy again. It hurt to think about it. But pounding on the door and shouting wouldn’t change Jeremy’s mind.

He banged on the door anyway. “Jeremy. Let’s talk. Please? Jeremy, I love you.” Why on earth hadn’t he said so sooner?

A middle-aged woman walked toward him and gave him a dirty look, lip curled up. Because he was gay, or just because he was making a lot of noise in the hallway? It didn’t matter. Unless Jeremy opened the door, nothing mattered all that much.

“Jeremy?” He said it softly, nonconfrontationally. Would that work any better? No response. Defeated, Brice picked up his bag and started down the hall to the stairs.

He heard a door click open. He fought the urge to see if it was Jeremy, but he stopped.

“Brice?”

“Oh, thank God!”

Brice turned around as Jeremy hurled the 12-pack of condoms at him and shut the door again, clicking the bolts in loudly enough to echo along the hallway.

J
EREMY
DIDN
’
T
feel any better after Brice left. He felt even worse after he ate the whole container of ice cream.

Jeremy, I love you.

He’d wanted to hear those words, needed to hear them, because it was a reflection of how Jeremy felt about Brice. If he didn’t love Brice, this wouldn’t be so upsetting. He and Brice were good together. Until now he’d thought they fit together well, physically and emotionally. They complemented each other.

But not as much as they should. It wasn’t PharmaTek, or even Brice’s seeming lack of concern about importance of an HIV vaccine. Brice’s outlook on life was just too different from Jeremy’s. It wasn’t whether he was a glass-half-full or glass-half-empty guy.

Brice was the kind of guy who would get caught up on how to define half empty and half full. Why hadn’t Jeremy seen it sooner?

He’d been too susceptible to the oxytocin rush and the sexually charged atmosphere where they’d met and interacted for the first part of their relationship. That wasn’t exactly a good way to choose a partner, even if it had been fun.

Jeremy leaned against the door, almost welcoming the pain from his injured shoulder as he let himself slide down to the floor.

He was now down one bike, one job, and one boyfriend.

How much beer was left in the refrigerator?

B
RICE
WENT
home and sat on the couch for a long time. He pulled the damn PharmaTek report out of his bag. Why had he brought it home? He tossed the thing across the room, where it knocked over a set of Japanese jade carvings worth more than his car.

Even if Jeremy hadn’t seen it in Brice’s bag, the result would have been the same once Jeremy discovered Brice had been in on the PharmaTek decision.

He’d really fucked up by not performing due diligence before voting. He should have read the whole report. It was a lapse in professionalism. Worse, because he wasn’t the one to pay the price. Unless he factored in losing Jeremy.

Had it only been a week earlier?

A week. Only a week. That was good. He’d slipped a clause into the PharmaTek dissolution contract allowing a fourteen-day window where either party could present additional material, information that could keep the dissolution from going into effect. It was the longest he could delay before Christie or Lane figured it out.

He still had a week to fix things.

He just wasn’t sure how. He got up and retrieved the report, then started reading.

By the time he finished two hours later, he knew exactly how to do it.

F
IRST
THING
the next morning, he went into Christie’s office.

“Do you have a minute? I’d like to bring up a point about Pharm—”

“It’s closed. Done. Besides, I thought you advised we drop them from the portfolio?”

“I did, but that was based on outdated and incomplete data. I believe the valuations aren’t accurate.”

“I thought we hired you for your legal skills and not as an analyst.”

“Yes, that’s true. But I heard something regarding their research that I don’t believe has been correctly taken into account.”

“What?”

Brice opened the folder he’d brought in and starting explaining.

“Did Ron put you up to this?”

“No, sir. I happen to have access to data from their research group at Cal.”

Christie nodded. “If these numbers are accurate…. Get me some independent valuations and forecasts, and I’ll consider reopening the discussion.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Brice raced down the hall and into Ron’s office.

T
HEY
’
D
BARELY
spoken during the past week, so Ron didn’t give Brice a particularly warm welcome. In fact, he didn’t even look up from his monitor.

“Ron, I’ve just been to Christie’s office. He’s going to reconsider the PharmaTek decision.”

That got Ron’s attention. He snapped his head up so quickly Brice thought he heard something crack. “What? The decision’s made. They’ve signed the termination paperwork even though it hasn’t gone into effect. They’re already planning layoffs until they get new funding.”

“Then we don’t have much time to waste, do we?”

Roy eyed him sideways, frowning. “Why the sudden change of heart here?”

“I admitted I fucked up on this one. I need to put it right. And there’s a two-week waiting period before the contract is in full force.”

“Two weeks? Really?”

“I always put a waiting period in contracts. You have no idea how many times one side or the other changes their minds. Of course, terms can’t be renegotiated, but the contract can be cancelled in whole—”

Ron cut him off. “I don’t need the legal details. What did you say to Christie to get him to rethink this decision? He’s always hated that PharmaTek got special treatment from most of the other partners.”

“I told him the valuations weren’t correct. That they were vastly underestimated given the latest results. And the timeline for testing and approval is compressed for the same reason.”

“And now what?”

“You rework the numbers and help me find independent verification.”

“All within the next week? Outside consultants don’t work that fast.”

“We’re not going to use a consultant. We’re going to try to sell PharmaTek to someone else.”

“What? You’re fucking nuts.” But Ron’s eyes held a glint like a terrier that had just spotted its prey. “Go on.”

Brice sat down and leaned forward as he explained his strategy to Ron. “We work up a sales document and shop it around to the other VCs. As soon as someone even nibbles at it, we take that to Christie as proof of value.”

“Won’t they wonder why we’re doing this?”

“We’re still in support of the company, even if we can’t keep them in our portfolio. But other firms have different criteria for their investments. One of the socially responsible funds would snap this up at the right price. We just have to demonstrate to Christie what that price is, and that it’s more than the forecasts based on the quarterly report.”

Ron settled back in his chair and put his hands behind his head. He nodded a few times, clearly turning Brice’s idea over, calculating, planning. “You know, it just might work.”

“At the worst case, if we get any legitimate offers, we can pass them along to PharmaTek. They would appreciate new funding, right? And we have a lot more connections than they do.”

“Jesus, Brice. When you fuck up, you really try to put things right.”

“You weren’t the only one to show me the error of my ways.”

“Ah, the new boyfriend’s having a good influence on you. Kate and I should have you two over for dinner, once we sort out PharmaTek. It’s going to keep us very busy the next week.”

Brice shook his head and willed his stomach to stop churning. “That didn’t quite work out.” He glanced at the wall, pretending to be interested in photos of Ron with Silicon Valley big shots like Steve Jobs, Mark Ellison, and half a dozen others.

“If you can figure out how to fix the PharmTek thing, then I don’t see why you can’t come up with something to get him back. Assuming you want him back.”

Brice stared the photos for a moment more before sliding back in his chair. “I do. Absolutely. His standards are higher than I can live up to.” He wasn’t sure why he added the last part. Though as buddies at Stanford, they’d discussed nearly every aspect of the love lives, he and Ron hadn’t talked much about their personal lives since Brice broke up with Greg.

“Where’d you meet him, an opera fund raiser or something?”

Brice couldn’t control his laugher. “Actually, Ron, you’d never believe it.”

W
HEN
D
OUG
came back from his ski trip two days later, Jeremy was on the couch drinking beer. He barely looked up when the door opened.

“Jeremy? Dude, it’s ten in the morning. What the hell?”

“Brice told me he loves me.”

“And that drove you to drink?”

“It was after I broke up with him.”

“Why’d you break up with him?”

“I don’t know.” Jeremy was buzzed again. Or still buzzed. He’d kind of lost track.

Doug tossed his suitcase in his bedroom and came back to sit on the couch with Jeremy. “Tell me what happened.”

So Jeremy summed up the events, including the PharmaTek news, the bike crash, and what Brice had told him. He left out the blowjob.

“No, dude, you didn’t leave out the part about the blowjob.”

“Huh?”

“Look, you smell homeless. You’re even talking to yourself. Why don’t you have a shower and then we can talk? I don’t care if you keep drinking beer, just take a shower. Or I swear I’ll Febreze you.”

Doug even turned the water on and shoved him in, clothes and all. Jeremy hadn’t realized how hard it was to get out of wet clothes when you were buzzed.

After he’d showered and dressed, he discovered Doug had cleaned up the empty beer bottles and the rest of the mess Jeremy had ignored in the living room.

“How much did I drink?” Jeremy wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“I counted fourteen bottles. Was that all last night?”

“Since Wednesday.”

“It’s Friday. Fourteen beers over two, three days? You’re fine. You really are a lightweight.”

“Don’t mock me. I’m in crisis.”

“Let’s see what we can do about that.”

“L
ET
ME
get this straight. You love Brice too, but you don’t think you belong together because he doesn’t see the world your way?” They sat on the couch sipping coffee Doug had made while Jeremy was in the shower.

“I guess that’s a good summary.”

“I might not understand you correctly, but it doesn’t seem like a big deal to me. He can learn to see things from a different perspective. And so can you. You and I get along fine and we’re completely different.”

“We’re not dating, Doug.”

“True. But if I were gay, I’d totally go for you.”

“That’s sweet.” Jeremy gave Doug a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks.”

“It’s nice to be with someone who isn’t just like you. Don’t the French say ‘Vive la différence’?”

“I think they had something else in mind with that one, but I’m not sure. Google it.”

“It doesn’t matter. Explain to me why it’s got you so upset? It’s not just the funding and the fact that his firm was responsible. It wasn’t all on him.”

“No. Of course not. But what if someday something really important comes up and we don’t agree? Something that really could break us up in a terrible way?”

“Listen to you. You’re doing exactly the same thing you accused Brice of. He assumes your research won’t pay off because it hasn’t so far. You’re assuming your relationship will fail because of something you can’t even imagine today.”

“No. That’s the opposite thing.”

“Don’t be pedantic. Look, why can’t you have the same hope that every day your relationship will continue to be good and get stronger? Why anticipate disaster and let the fear keep you from even trying?”

“Okay, now it does kind of sound the same.” Jeremy scratched his head and ran the concepts through his brain again. Maybe he was more buzzed than he thought. But he could see Doug’s logic.

Later, when he charged and checked his cell phone, he discovered a dozen texts and voice mails from Brice, reinforcing his conclusion he owed Brice a huge apology. There were two messages from Thomas at the Dinner Club, but he put them out of his mind to focus on Brice. It was a weekday, and Brice would be busy, so Jeremy went to the office. He’d throw himself into his own work and go over to Brice’s that evening to try to make up for his atrocious behavior.