Dirty Movies (24 page)

‘She still slept with Danny
.’

‘So? A stupid mistake, nothing more. In any case she’s a semi-free agent
, what’s with the over-protective father routine?’

‘You said she had a boyfriend
,’ he countered accusingly, pinching back her cigarette.

‘I said I didn’t believe her
.’

‘And I’m sayi
ng it doesn’t matter either way.’

‘Oh for god’s sake
, Joe, stop sulking like a teenager!’ cried Rachel, losing her temper. ‘For months and months I’ve watched you two buzz around each other like a couple of bloody flies. Will you please a, stop stealing my cigarettes and b, get your arse back out there and tell her how you feel.’

Joe scowled and said nothing.

‘No more excuses,’ she went on, firmly. ‘It’s terrible about your wife, but you can’t keep hiding your heart away underneath dusty old piles of memories. Hire a cleaner, for god’s sake!’

The scowl deep
ened. ‘So what if you’re right, suppose I do have feelings for her? She might not feel the same way.’

Rachel felt a surge of jubilation. Final
ly they were getting somewhere. ‘What if I was to stake my end-of-shoot bonus on that
not
being the case?’

‘It’s not a valid wager. Vincent’s
never given a bonus in his life.’

‘Except to himself. Repeatedly
,’ sighed Rachel. ‘What a lot of fascinating procrastinating we’re doing when all the while Polly’s over by the pool getting perved on by the camera crew.’

Joe gave a half-smile of comprehension.
‘I guess someone better get out there and rescue her then.’

‘Good idea but i’d get a move on if I were you. Dan’s already boasting about the size of his equipment and I don’t think he’s referring to his Arri
Alexa.’ 

Like a chess-player hesitant of his next move, Joe sidled back outside and went smack into a carnal battleground of heat and perspiration. In his absence, the courtyard had been gobbled up by a wave of new arrivals and now every inch of the crazy paving was crammed with heels and handbags.

As he stood
loitering at the exit from the lobby, he felt the great swell surge towards him. As far as the crew was concerned he was their favourite. The prom king had made his entrance and everyone wanted to buy him a drink and kiss him goodbye, particularly the Make-Up and Hair departments. It wasn’t long before a swaying (and preying) Fifi grabbed his wrist. Tonight she had backcombed her blonde fringe into an enormous Elvis-like quiff and her hazel eyes were sparkling with wine.

‘Hey there shexy
,’ she slurred, ‘why don’t you givus a goodbye ssshnog.’

He prised her off
, finger by finger, like a cartoon character. ‘Sorry Fi. All out of kisses tonight, I’m afraid.’ For you anyway, he thought privately.

‘Dossn’t matter.
Got enuff for the both of ussh.’

Christ
, thought Joe, eyeing up an escape route, when, all of a sudden, Fifi’s heel connected with a discarded beer bottle and whisked her away like a high-speed conveyor belt. As her ridiculous coiffure dipped, along with the rest of her, he finally caught sight of Polly ten metres away and surrounded by a gaggle of cross-eyed cameramen. He watched her turn to address a passing waiter. As she did, her perfect profile transformed into a devastating over-the-shoulder headshot. Her cheeks were flush with excitement, her lips swollen with promise and her dazzling blue eyes seemed all the more candid framed with smoky black liner. 

In the meantime, having recovered her footing
, Fifi was back eyeing him up like a bitch on heat. Feeling her ring snag on his belt buckle, Joe shot backwards and ended up straddling the hotel barbecue. It hadn’t been lit yet but he would rather a ball-roasting than a ball-busting Make-Up Artist any day of the week.

Back in the lobby, Rachel was just about to rejoin the party herself when the receptionist started flapping at her and pinging his silver desk bell in huge excitement.

Ping, Ping.
‘Mees Rachel, Mees Rachel!
Ping, Ping, Ping.
‘An urgent package arrive for Meester Joe today from London. I forgot to give it to heem!’

‘Well
, if you promise to incinerate that bloody bell then I’m more than happy to take it,’ said Rachel, making her way over. The receptionist beamed at her in relief. Rachel may look like the back end of his Uncle’s old donkey, but what she lacked in that department was more than compensated for with her admirable work ethic.

He
placed a small FedEx envelope on the counter. Rachel glanced sideways at the Airway Bill. With its graceful loops and perfect punctuation the writing looked remarkably like Christine’s, but what on earth would she be sending Joe? A belated birthday card? Preliminary divorce papers for Stephen?  A signed picture of herself in her heyday, worth less these days than a value pack of Sainsbury’s toilet paper? Rachel’s mind boggled as she popped the package under her arm.

Stepping outside, she fought her way over to Danny who was happily enjoyin
g Joe’s cast-offs in the shadow of a giant pink begonia bush. Fifi’s hand had now advanced from buckle touching to something else altogether. She appeared to be rummaging for her third Oscar Nomination down the front of his trousers.

‘Seen Joe anywhere?’
snapped Rachel, raising one eyebrow at Fifi’s quiff. The thing was extraordinary, like Elvis and Tintin had spawned. 

Reluctantly, Danny removed
Fifi’s hand. ‘Nah, he stomped off in a huff ages ago.’

‘Well if you see him can you give him this?’ Rachel handed him the FedEx package. ‘You’re more l
ikely to run into him than me.’

‘Why? Who are you planning on shacking up with?’

Not who but what, thought Rachel. She had one delicious, illegal gram waiting for her upstairs. A cocaine haze would offer her more comfort tonight than any film crew lover.

‘Fine
, whatever,’ said Danny, anxious suddenly for Fifi to resume her rummaging. ‘Pass it over and go have your fun. But don’t do anything I wouldn’t do...’ As he said it, Fifi’s hand snaked out and re-attached itself to his dick. ‘On second thoughts,’ he said grinning up at her. ‘I absolutely insist you do.’

At the other end of the courtyard, Polly was quietly simmering into her glass of vino. She was fed up of having her bottom pinched and her boobs brushed up against. Surely such unashamed sexual harassment qualified for a superhero’s rescue alongside all those burning buildings and collapsing bridges. As if by magic, Joe materialised by her side. Polly felt a fizz of excitement.

‘You’re staring very intently into your glass
,’ he observed, tapping it lightly. ‘Is white wine the new equivalent of tealeaves? If so, are bits of floating cork a good sign or a bad?’

‘Oh
, definitely good’ she giggled.

Except when they get stuck in your
teeth. So, what’s Mystic Sauvignon got to say for herself tonight then?’

‘
Something about tall, dark and handsome crew members’ she said, shooting him a suggestive glance then nearly dropping her glass when he fired one back just as quick. Suddenly, Dan lurched into view and clapped him soundly on the back. Polly could have murdered him.

‘Good to see you mate, stay and have a drink
!’ roared the red-faced Cinematographer, as he bundled Joe into a bear hug.

‘I wish I could
,’ she heard him gasp, ‘but a pressing production matter’s just cropped up. May I borrow Polly for a sec?’

There were a few mutters of descent
from Dan’s posse.

‘W
hat about my pressing matter?’ leered Simon, thrusting his hips in her direction.

‘I’m sure Fi will be more than happy to accommodate you out in that department
,’ said Joe genially, as Danny stumbled past straightening his fly.

Simon immediately shot off in search of sloppy seconds, which left Joe just enough time to ensnare Polly with the ghost of a wink. Grabbing her hand
, he whisked her out of the courtyard, through the lobby and into the deserted car park. This was the only place that guaranteed them privacy, well that or his room but that just oozed presumption. He still had no idea if she felt the same way.

Propping himself up against the passenger door of a dirty white jeep
, he took her hands and gently tugged her towards him. Polly’s head was suddenly awash with gibberish.

‘Thanks for the rescue
,’ she wittered brightly, ‘I was going to smack that sleaze-bag round the head with my espadrille.’

‘More robust than a flip flop
,’ murmured Joe, inclining his head to admire her sky-high footwear.

‘S
till, it’s a bit like swatting a Hippo with a feather.’ Oh get a grip, Polly, she told herself.

‘
But nowhere near as lethal as a stiletto,’ countered Joe, playing along.

‘I wonder if there’s there a word for that
? You know, murdering one’s pervy cinematographer with one’s fancy foot wear?’

‘Shoe-icide?’ he guessed. ‘Shall I call up Scotland Yard and find out?’

‘It would be a good mystery to
sole-ve
.’

‘Ha
! Very good.’ His thumbs started needing her palms and his face went all-serious again. ‘Polly, can I ask you something?’

She nodded, heart
thudding like a juggernaut. Could this be it? The moment that she had been hoping beyond hope for? Yes, yes, yes Joe De Vries, I will go out with you, snog you, shag you, anything, just say the word and i’m yours, utterly and completely!

‘Why did you want to work in the industry?’

She jerked her hands away in surprise.

‘Tell me
,’ he begged, taking them back immediately. ‘I’m curious…’

‘It’s sou
nds like you’re interviewing me,’ she said, frowning.

He gave a bark of laughter. ‘You’ve been working with us for three months, sweetheart,
I hardly think that’s necessary.’

I didn’t mean for a job, thought Polly. Wrinkling her nose, she wrenched her mind back fifteen years. ‘I guess it’s all Bambi’s fault
,’ she announced with a degree of finality. ‘Yes, definitely Bambi. He started a bit of an obsession, you see. After he gamboled into my life everything got a bit scrambled up with celluloid. Like my eighteenth birthday,’ she said, warming to her subject, ‘the only thing I really remember is a drunken debate on Luke Skywalker’s chances of making it as a guitar hero if he cut his losses as a Jedi and joined an intergalactic rock and roll band instead.’

Joe burst out laughing again.

‘Then there were my disastrous film school attempts at Peter Jackson-style zombie masterpieces. I must have seen every film going. Then I saw
Mutinous Pirates
and something clicked. All of a sudden spectatorship wasn’t enough. I had to be part of the magic.

Joe rolled his eyes. ‘Honestly
, sweetheart, if you’d known how fucking awful that shoot was, you’d have switched careers in a heart-beat.’

‘Oh I doubt it. I was never solicitor or doctor material
anyway.’

‘Dr Winters…I agree
, it does sound a bit severe. Did you ever consider something creative like a florist instead?’

‘Perfect!’ she cried happily. ‘Now why didn’t I think of that? I could have sent Christine anonymous bunches of y
ellow roses every week. Why the sudden interest anyway?’

Joe shrug
ged. ‘Like I said I was curious.’

There was a pause.

‘So you weren’t tempted by Fiona’s chat up line earlier?’ she asked him slyly. She could smell the sweet tang of his sweat along with the faint bleachy aroma of production office cleaning fluid.

‘Chat up grope, you mean
.’

‘Oh I don’t know…She’s no
t bad-looking without the quiff.’

‘She’s not you
.’

His directness knocked the breath clean out of her.
Suddenly, she couldn’t look at him and she started counting the spokes in the jeep’s hubcab instead.

‘Polly
.’ His voice was soft and urgent.

‘Just a second
,’ she mumbled. Shit. Was it ten or eleven?

‘Polly, please, I can hear your brain ticking. Just switch it off for a se
cond and look at me.’

Reluctantly, she dragged her eyes upwards then found she couldn’t tear them away. His eyes were all rippling Caribbean-blue oceans. She felt an uncontrollable urge to babble again.

‘My boyfriend doesn’t exist. I made him up when Sally told me about your…oh…’

He silenced her
then with a kiss. After a minute, he pulled away and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, imprisoning her.

‘Do that again
,’ she dared him, emboldened by the warmth of his body.