Dirty Rush (8 page)

“He should know I'm never gonna pay that.”

“ 'Kay, girl, I'm handling. Jeez,” she said as she typed away on Colette's iPhone
and then turned back to me and winked. “I know it's hard to believe, but this good lil' Christian's front porch has never had guests over for sweet tea. Not 'til marriage.”

“That's cool. I respect that,” I said, unbuckling my seat belt.

“Oh, you'll wait in the car,” said Colette. “They're ID-psychos and are notorious for confiscating fakes here and I'm guessing-slash-hoping you're not a twenty-one-year-old freshman?”

“Nope. I'm definitely not. And I'd like to hold on to my sister's old ID for as long as possible, so sticking in the car sounds like a great idea.”

“Back in a jif, Tay-Tay,” Kenadie said before slamming the passenger door. I wanted to tell her that “Tay-Tay” gave me the creeps, but she was gone before I could get the words out. As she walked away, I noticed that she had a crucifix tattooed on her lower back, which really summed up everything I knew about Kenadie.

I sat and looked out onto the huge, half-empty parking lot. I felt like a six-year-old again, waiting in the back of the car for my mom to come back from picking up the dry cleaning or a prescription or something. While I waited, I thought about what Colette had just said to me, about being older than normal college-freshman age. It was a weird thing to say. I mean, she knew exactly how old I was because she was friends with my sister. It was a whatever comment, but something about it put me off. She was pretending like she knew less about me than she did.

Before I got too deep into thinking about it, I saw the two girls coming through the sliding doors of the liquor store. Neither of them seemed to be holding any bags. And they were running, fast, toward the car.

“I FUCKING KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!” Kenadie screamed as she ripped the door open, throwing herself back into the car. “OWWWWW,” she let out slowly and nasally as her ass landed in the bucket of the seat. “I knew it. I fucking knew it. Goddamnit, fucking Christ.”

Colette hopped up into the SUV and slammed her door. “Emergency detour” were the only words she said before turning the key and speeding out of the parking lot, nearly taking out a husky, middle-aged man in a football jersey. Kenadie's moaning continued, punctuated by the occasional wail of fuck my life or Jesus hold me now!

“Sorry, um, what's going on?” I asked, trying to sound as cool and collected as possible.

Kenadie wailed louder this time. “We are NOT talkin' about this with her.” She adjusted her weight in the seat. “Ow! Damnit!” Whatever it was that was happening had something to do with her ass or her back because she hadn't stopped squirming since getting back in the car.

“It's not a big deal, Kenadie,” Colette said coldly without taking her eyes off the road.

“No, Colie,” Kenadie barked back.

“I'm sorry I asked. I just—” Maybe I should've kept my mouth shut.

“Her ass swallowed the beads,” Colette stated plainly.

“Colette! You bitch! Ow! Are you fuckin' kidding?!” Kenadie slammed her hand on the dashboard in an uncharacteristically genuine moment. She was pissed but also in so much pain. I was concerned now.

“Kenadie,”
Colette began, swerving onto a side street, “if you don't want people talking about the fact that you carry anal beads around in your ass all day, then you probably shouldn't carry anal beads around in your ass all day.”

“We're not talking about this! Oh mah God! Just get me to the friggin' ER and shut up and drive fast and just shut the fuck up!” Kenadie shouted.

There was silence.

I could try to think of a moment in my life where I felt more uncomfortable, but this took the cake. I wanted to know why Kenadie was stashing beads in her butt, but I also didn't. I glanced out the window at the cars we were passing. Colette must've been going at least twenty above the speed limit.

I
stared at the green/beige/puke-colored carpet in the hospital waiting room. Colette hadn't said a word to me since we sat down and it was starting to get even more awkward than before. My phone buzzed in my hand.

Jonah 11:21PM
Um. Hello?

Taylor 11:21PM
Jonah! I am soooo fucking sorry. You will not believe what my night has been but I will explain it all to you tomorrow, I promise.

Jonah 11:22PM
Weird. But fine. Are you ok.

Taylor 11:22PM
Yeah, totally fine. Love you. Talk tomorrow.

Jonah 11:22PM
You too.

Taylor 11:23PM
How was the meet?

Jonah 11:23PM
I won.

Taylor 11:24PM
Yes! xx

I put my phone back into my bag and smiled at Colette.

“Kenadie only has butt sex so that she can say she's a virgin without lying,” Colette said at full volume, looking at me now.

She examined her flawless manicure and continued, “So yeah, she lets guys fuck her in the ass, and performs tightening rituals during the day in order to keep things cute and fun down there, if you know what I'm saying. The rear is a whole 'nother animal. Hence the beads.”

I looked at Colette blankly.

“I'm sure you're kind of like what the fuck right now, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Well, good call on not asking any stupid questions in the car.”

“Thanks. It didn't seem like the right time.”

More silence. I smoothed my dress and wondered if this meant we wouldn't make it to the party after all. I tried not to think about what Jack was up to and how I'd gotten excited to see him. Then I had another where am I and who am I moment, which was interrupted after a minute or so by Colette turning to me.

“By the way, Taylor. You're gonna get a bid. Obviously, you can't tell anyone until it's official, but the chapter seems to be in love with you and it just makes sense. I guess some things are meant to be.”

“Wow.” My face started to crinkle out of some sort of weird mixture of amusement and genuine happiness. Or maybe I was just so overwhelmed by the last hour of my life that I couldn't do much besides smile and nod. I definitely didn't have any burning desire to be a part of this group of crazy girls, but the fact that they wanted me to be a part of their world felt good.

“Thanks, I'm . . . um, I'm excited.”

“Good. You should be.”

“I . . . am.”

“Good. You should be.”

“No, I totally am.”

We both looked straight ahead.

“Welcome to the dark side.”

I
n the haze of finding out that I'd officially/unofficially gotten a bid, while sitting at the university hospital, waiting for a girl who had ass beads stuck up her butthole, I had an epiphany: College is insane. Like it's actually an insane place where literally anything can happen. And I was loving it. After twenty minutes or so of silence with Colette, Kenadie came skipping out of the ER with a big grin on her face, as if nothing had happened.

“We're good to go,” she chirped.

“Good,” replied Colette in her driest voice. “Do you need to go back to the house now, or . . . ?”

“Nope. I'm all good. Let's go straight to Omega Sig. I'm thirsty.”

“That's my girl.”

On the car ride over, Kenadie explained that the doctor wasn't able to get all the beads out, because one had broken off the chain and was too far up her “poop-shoot” to retrieve without the use of a muscle relaxer. “I just looked that doc right in the eye and told him that we'd just have to wait on that. I honestly don't trust myself to not get drunk while on prescription pills. I've done it before, it was not cute, and I swore I'd never do it again. One minute you're drinkin' and feelin' loosey-goosey with two fine young gentlemen, they offer you some more oxy, and the next thing ya know, both of their you-know-whats are in your you-know-where.” Then she whispered
“butthole,”
as if it needed explaining.

“It's incredibly brave of you to abstain like that,” I said.

“Thank you for seeing that, Taylor. Thank you very much.”

“You are very welcome.”

Oh my God.

W
hen we arrived at the Omega Sigma house, Colette led us through a side entrance. She must have texted Meg and the twins, because they were waiting at the door with a drink for each of us. We all hugged as Kenadie caught the girls up on her situation. Once we were inside the house, we gathered in the entryway for a few minutes so Meg could give us the entire rundown of the evening's events thus far.

“So basically it's a fucking shitshow down there. Rachel puked after about twelve minutes, Sabrina and Ben broke the sink in the basement bathroom, and there is so, so, so, so, so much
coke tonight. Like more than there's ever been. And it's really good, which I'm not mad at.”

“Cute,” Colette replied.

“Oh, and that guy Rob Sherman brought his girlfriend, who is a fucking high school junior. She's annoying, completely out-of-her-head wasted, and becoming more and more naked by the minute. Something needs to be done ASAP.”

“Fucking Rob,” Colette said quietly. “He is such a sweet kid and his dick is huge, but if he keeps bringing kids to the adult table, it could get ugly . . . and illegal. One of you needs to simply explain to him that just because he has the emotional intelligence and maturity of an eighth grader doesn't mean he has to fuck eighth graders.”

Forty-eight hours ago, I walked into the Omega Sig house for the first time, a complete outsider. This whole world was foreign to me, unknown. But now I was standing with these girls as an equal, a part of the inner workings of a community I thought I had no interest in. They liked me and I was starting to actually like them. I was no longer on the outside looking in.

Meg led us farther into the house and up some stairs that I hadn't seen at the last party. The group continued down a long hallway that led to another set of stairs, guarded by a huge dude who must have been an OS brother. He waved us through. Before entering, Meg turned to us all and said: “We shall steadfastly love each other. And also, don't do too much coke.”

The door led to a huge wooden balcony overlooking the backyard of the house. Arcade Fire was blasting, and there were tiki torches, a full bar, and a view of the whole campus. The energy was incredible. There were probably about sixty or so
people hanging out and drinking. I quickly scanned the crowd to see if Jack was there, but didn't see him.

“Tell me you don't love this!” Olivia yelled into my ear.

“Yeah. This is awesome. Is it always like this?”

Olivia just smiled back at me, winked, and walked away. Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I found myself looking right into Jack's beautiful blue eyes.

“Hi,” I offered, trying not to smile, but I wanted to.

“Hey. You finally made it.”

“I did.”

“You look great.”

“Thanks, I tried.”

“You guys get lost on the way?”

“Um . . . last-minute hospital detour for a girl in need.”

“Sounds fun. Everyone live?”

“Oh yeah. NBD.” I shrugged.

“Good.” He took a swig from the red cup in his hand. “A sister in need is a sister indeed.”

“Or whatever.”

We both laughed.

“I unfortunately can't stay up here because I'm presiding over the beer pong tournament in the basement. But I wanted to come up and see you for a sec while I had the chance.”

“I'm glad you did.”

Jack leaned in and gave me a short but conscious kiss on the cheek.

“So, are we still on for dinner Tuesday?” he asked with his sly smile.

“What are you talking about?”

“I
thought we made plans for Tuesday?”

“Okay, you know that we didn't. But nice try.”

“Fine, fine. But we should. Come down and find me if you have a chance later.”

After standing there for a minute, perplexed by the interaction Jack and I just had, I realized I must have looked very alone, so I found Meg. She was sandwiched on a couch between a couple of guys doing lines of coke off of some random girl's stomach. The girl had her shirt rolled up to the bottom of her boobs and her head hung, dangling off the edge of the wicker table. If she hadn't looked so completely content with her current position, I would've probably felt a little embarrassed for her.

I'd only done cocaine once before, on New Year's with Jonah and our friend Beth from back home, and thought it was medium fun but I never really got it. It basically just made me want to smoke cigarettes (which I don't ever want to do) and talk about my family (which I also don't ever want to do).