Discovering Stella (28 page)

“Stella,
what’s
wrong? Are
you
okay?
Talk
to
me,”
Lawson begged
as
he quickly made his way up the bed to lie beside me.

I was so embarrassed and hated the fact that I’d once
more
begged him to take me and then crumbled
into
a mess of confu
sion
as
a result.
“I’m
so
sorry,”
I cried, covering
my
face with
my
hand while
trying
to pull the bedsheet
over my
naked
body.

He
helped me cover up and then tried to pry
my
hand away from
my
eyes.
“Talk
to me,
please.”

“I
can’t.
I feel like such a fucking
idiot,”
I admitted, crying harder while shaking
my
head.
“Oh
god.
I’m
so
sorry.”

“Stop
it!” he said angrily, firmly pressing me
into
the mattress with his
body.
The next thing I knew,
my
hand was being pulled from
my
face and placed
upon
his chest. I blinked,
but
then screwed
my
eyes closed. I felt like such a child.

“I’m
not
going to let
you
do this to yourself any
more.
Enough is enough.
You
need to
talk
about what
you’re
feeling when
you’re
feeling it, and then we
can
work
out
why and
how
we
can
maybe fix it.
Stop
burying the pieces that have made
you
who
you
are. Right
now,
Princess,
you
are a puzzle, and
I’m
sure
as
hell going to piece
you
back together again.”

I let
out
a guttural sob at his words
...
at his declaration.
“It’s
too hard. I feel so guilty, and I
shouldn’t.
He
abandoned me
...
left me behind. So why do I feel guilty
for
moving on?”

“Open your
eyes,”
he said
softly.

His
calm
and gentle
tone
was like
an
anchor in a ferocious sea, keeping me from drifting
into
a current of heartache, so I complied with his request and opened
my
eyes, blinking until they adjusted to the light filtering in.

“Good
girl.”
He
wiped away
my
tears with the back of his hand.
“Now
look at me.
Tell
me what
you
were feeling before
you
started crying.”

I sucked in a deep breath and then let
it
out
slowly,
explaining what I could recall.
“I
felt really good.
You
were fantastic.
It
was
one
of the best org—”

“Not
the orgasm, Princess, after
it,”
he interrupted, a sensitive yet
proud
smile creeping in at the corners of his mouth.

“I
felt scared.
Guilty.”

“Why?”

“Because
it
has never felt that good, and Tristan is the only other person who has
done
that to
me.”

He
rolled off me,
onto
his side, then manoeuvred me so that I could hug him and
put
my
head
on
his
shoulder.
“We’ll take this
slow.
As
slow
as
you
want and
as
slow
as
you
need.”

“But
I needed
it,”
I admitted timidly.

He
kissed
my
head.
Oh, I love that.
“Then we do what we are doing
now.
We
talk
it out. No
running
away.”

“Okay,”
I said, squeezing him tight.

“Say it, Princess.”

Closing
my
eyes, I repeated what he’d said, meaning each and every
word. “No
running
away.”

Breathe in now

Stella’s
steady breathing against
my
chest was kind of soothing, yet
it
didn’t
completely erase the fucked-up afternoon we’d had. Then again, I
shouldn’t
really say fucked
up,
because
it
hadn’t
been a
complete
disaster.
Yeah,
she’d freaked
out
again
—twice —
but
the difference with
her
meltdowns this time around was that we’d had a breakthrough shortly afterward.

My
mind was still racing with the discovery of
how
her
husband had died, and why
it
was that she hated him so much. I even felt a
bit
guilty
for
having thought the guy had been
an
arsehole who’d physically hurt
her.
Don’t
get me wrong, I understood
her
anger and pain
over
what she’d lost, of course I did.
But
let’s
face it, he’d paid the ultimate price
for
fucking
up;
he’d lost his life — a life with Stella.

Regardless of whether he’d been a good
bloke
or
not, I was
more
concerned with the fact that if she
didn’t
find
it
within herself to forgive him, she’d
fail
to
move
forward with
her
life, and experience what
it
had to
offer.
Until Stella learned to let go of the
resentment,
hatred and disappointment she felt toward him, she would continue to emotionally break down.

“I’m
gonna
help
you
let go, Princess,” I whispered
softly,
pressing
my
lips to
her
soft brown hair while breathing
her
in.

Just the smell of
her
triggered
my
dick to
involve
himself in
my
current activities.
Not
now, mate. For fuck’s sake, not now.
My
mind also jumped in the mix, recalling
moments
with Stella that left me bloody useless.
Moments
like before, when
my
mouth was devouring
her
sweet
pussy,
lapping and sucking at
her
warm, wet skin.
Arrgh! Fuck, she tasted good
;
too fucking good.

Closing
my
eyes to
try
and focus
on
something else — anything else —
all
I saw was Stella.
How
she’d sat
upon
me and taken off
her
top.
How
her
tits had rested perfectly within
arm’s
reach, and
how
she’d waited
for
me to take
her.
Fuck, I’d wanted to take
her
...
badly,
and I had no
doubt
I
probably
would’ve had she
not
burst
into
tears.
Shit! I’m a scumbag.
Deep down I knew she might
not
be ready to sleep with another man.
She
needed to forgive
her
husband and release the burden she held first. I was sure of that.

Sighing, I wriggled in closer to
her,
flipping the blanket across the both of us. Stella murmured something that sounded like ‘knight’, which made me smile.
Yes,
Princess, I’m your knight in shining armour.

*
 
*
 
*

It
was the evening of
Stella’s
birthday and I
couldn’t
wait to give
her
the bracelet I’d bought. In fact, I’d never felt this keen about giving
anyone
anything.
Well
...
besides the heart-shaped
Valentine’s
Day card I’d made
for
Sarah
Hunter
in Grade
3.
Yeah,
I nearly pissed my pants with nerves before handing that sucker over.

Snapping the jewellery box
shut
and retying the
ribbon,
I
put
it
in
my
pocket and made
my
way to
her
room.
It
had been a few days since the night she’d fallen asleep in
my
arms after revealing
how
her
husband had died, and in those few days,
her
manner had changed dramatically.
I’m
not
going to lie;
her
turnaround was surprising.
She
was
now
less withdrawn and secretive, and she was much
more
attentive to me —
not
to
mention
needy.
And fuck did that need turn me
on,
especially during heated
moments
in the hallway when I would press
her
against the wall, kiss
her
and slide
my
hand up
her
top.
Or when
Todd
and Meg
weren’t
watching, the
moments
when we’d subtly brush our hands
over one another’s
arse, tit
or
cock. There’d also been leg and foot caressing under the dining room table, and snuggling
on
the couch in the evening. I
hadn’t
had this much
fun
since I was a teenager.

Meg and
Todd
weren’t
stupid
and had to know we were
‘offi
cially’
together,
so hiding our affection from them, and everyone else
for
that
matter,
was a
bit
stupid.
But
I
didn’t
force the issue with Stella, and
for
a very good reason. Openly entering your first relationship after the death of your husband was a fucking big deal.
Even
I knew that. Letting Stella
call
the shots
as
to when we could openly be affectionate was the right thing to
do.

Stopping
at
her
bedroom
door,
I knocked
on it lightly.
“If
you
take any
longer,
we’ll be celebrating next
year’s
birthday.”

“You
can
come in.
I’m
nearly
ready,”
she
shouted
back.

I turned the handle and
entered
her
room,
finding
her
standing
on
one
foot with
her
arm
propped
against the wall.
“Sorry,
I’m
just putting
my
shoes
on
and then we are good to go. Is everyone else ready?”

Her
words registered with
my
brain,
but
to say I was
taking
any notice of them would be
an
outright lie.
No,
I was
more
interested in the tight, short black dress she was wearing.
It
had lace sleeves, the lace also covering
her
chest and neck.
It
was the dress she’d tried
on
in the change room in Shepparton. I’d liked
it
then,
but now?
...
Fuck me senseless.
She
looked bloody irresist
ible. Her
hair was down and wavy and she’d
put
make-up
on.

Slowly
letting
my
eyes travel the length of
her
bent
leg, I watched
as
she struggled to
put on
her
black high heel.

“Lawson?”

“What?” I answered, snapping
my
attention back to
her
face.

“Is everyone else ready?”

“Todd
and Meg left already. They said they’d meet us
there.”

“Crap!
Did
I take too long?”

“Yeah,”
I answered playfully.

She
screwed up
her
face.

“I’m
kidding.
Todd
wanted to get a few things sorted
first.”
I chuckled,
making
my
way closer and offering
her
a hand. “Need
some
help?”

Without
waiting
for
an
answer, I
bent
down
on my
knees and placed
her
foot
on my
lap, deliberately brushing the skin
on
her
leg with
my
fingertips.
How
a woman could feel this soft and smooth was beyond me, and if
it
weren’t
creepy
as
all
fuck, I’d be inclined to rub
my
face — and cock — up and down
her
legs.

Refocussing
my
attention
on
her
foot, I slowly manoeuvred
it
inside
her
shoe, zipping up the
side
until
it
covered
her
ankle.
Mmm
...
“I
like these
shoes,”
I said,
my voice
unexpectedly
lower
than
it
needed to be.

“These?” she asked, rotating
her
foot just
slightly. “I
bought them when
you
were picking up the part to
my
car.”

“They’re
fucking
sexy.”
I raised
my
eyes to look at hers.
“
You’re
fucking
sexy.”

She
smiled and acknowledged
my compliment
with a wink. “They are pretty fucking
sexy,
aren’t
they?”

Jesus fucking Christ!
The way she had just seductively let those words roll from
her
mouth,
together with
her
foot resting
on
my
lap —
not
to
mention
that if I ducked down a
bit,
I would be able to see up
her
dress — had me
all
kinds of friggin’
horny,
causing
my
dick to protest the fact he was confined in
my
jeans. Leaning forward, I kissed
her
knee and swirled
my
tongue around
it
before dipping behind to the sensitive part at the back.

She
inhaled, quick and sharp, which only
prompted
me to kiss a little higher and higher again.

“Stop!” she objected,
her
words exiting along with the exhalation of
her
breath.
“You
need to stop
or
we
won’t
get to the
pub.
We
really need to get to the
pub.”

I ignored
her
excuse, kissing higher again.
“We
can
be
late.”

She
clasped
my
head with both
her
hands and tilted
it
so that I could look
into
her
eyes.
“No,
we
can’t.
As
much
as
I’d like
you
to continue, I have
plans.”

“What plans?” I asked
suspiciously,
narrowing
my
eyes at
her.

“You’ll
see.
It’s
a surprise.”

Stella let go of
my
head and
removed
her
foot from
my
lap. I
didn’t
like it.

“A
surprise
for
me
...
on
your
birthday?”

“Well,
it’s
for
you
and
Todd,”
she said,
walking
over
to the bed and picking up
her
purse then looking back
over
her
shoulder at me.

I was baffled, so I stood up and sat
on
the edge of the mattress, leaning back a little
on my
hands. The uncomfortable
probing
of
my
arse cheek from the jewellery box in
my
pocket reminded me that I
hadn’t
yet given
it
to
her.
So I lifted up and pulled the
gift
out. “Here,
happy
birthday,”
I said, fumbling like a tosser
as
I handed
her
the ribbon-covered box.