Distorted Hope (30 page)

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I stared up into the mask the man I loved wore.
Why? Why was he so angry? Why was he acting so hateful?

He released my hands. “Go, bitch.”

I stared at him a moment longer and then scrambled to my feet and ran away. I paused at the bottom of the stairs, wondering if I should try and hide or run away until he was calmer. If he found me, he would hurt me. I was sure of it. At least until he calmed down.
Could I hide that long? What if he didn’t calm down?

No, he had to calm down soon. And then he would feel bad about what he’d said. I couldn’t let him voluntarily hurt me. I just needed to hide until he worked out his anger.

So I made a decision. I ran out of the house and into the garden which was fortunately empty. I ran into the memorial garden and huddled on the ground in the corner. It was the only place I knew he wouldn’t instantly think of finding me. It was painful to be here. We had buried Hope in here and neither of us were ready to face her tiny grave for very long. But it would be more painful if I let Nathan hurt me. For both of us.

I huddled in the corner and was relieved when I didn’t hear Nathan. I didn’t know how long I should stay hidden, though.

I was afraid. Afraid of Nathan for the first time in I don’t even remember how long. I wished Mark were back. He’d know what to do. The other guys were good guys, but they didn’t know Nathan the way Mark did. I don’t think they’d cross him to protect me. I thought Mark would. I
hoped
he would. But it didn’t really matter, because he wasn’t here and would likely be gone for another month.

I stayed hidden through the morning and through lunch. Then I started getting hungry. Really hungry. Surely Nathan had calmed down by now. I couldn’t imagine him doing anything but sleeping at this point. He was probably worried about me.

I stretched and stood slowly. I wondered if I should stop in the kitchen for something to eat, but thought I should go find Nathan first.

He wasn’t in his office and I sighed in relief. He was probably sleeping. I went upstairs and slowly opened the bedroom door, not wanting to disturb him if he was asleep. I saw his feet in bed and sighed in relief, and closed the door behind me, and tiptoed toward the bed.

And then I nearly threw up.

Nathan was in bed, but he wasn’t alone. Amé was in bed with him. Naked. They were having sex. I let out a cry of surprise and they both looked at me. Amé gave me an apologetic look; Nathan looked at me with an almost triumphant look.

I turned to leave, but Nathan stopped me. “Don’t you dare leave,” he growled. “Sit down and enjoy the show.”

I stared at him for a long moment. “No.” I turned on my heel and started to run away.

“If you leave, I will find you and fulfill my painful promise from earlier.”

I froze. If I stayed and watched the man I love have sex with my friend, he would stretch my ass before fucking me there. If I left, he wouldn’t. I think I’d rather have the physical pain. I sobbed and ran out of the room.

I didn’t know where to go. All my things had been moved into our bedroom long ago. The room I stayed in when I first arrived had been turned back into a guest room.

No, he hadn’t found me in the garden before. That was my safest place. I ran downstairs and back to the garden. I certainly wasn’t hungry anymore.

Why was he doing this? Why was he with Amé? Why was he having sex with another woman in our bed? Why did he want to hurt me? Why? Why? Why?
The questions kept circling in my head as the tears streamed down my face.

I stayed in the garden until I was shivering in the night air so badly I couldn’t stand it anymore. I stretched my stiff limbs and walked slowly back to the house. The lights were on and I heard voices in the living room. I’d missed dinner and my stomach growled.

As I walked inside, my stomach stopped growling and started churning. Although Mark and the three others who had kidnapped me were gone, the other guys were still here. They were sitting around with Nathan in the living room, talking and laughing. They each had a girl between their feet, Nathan included. It was Yolanda this time and somehow that made me feel better. At least he didn’t seem to be forming a relationship with my friend.

Amé was sitting along the wall with Laurie, looking upset. She looked up when I walked in and tears filled her eyes. She mouthed something to me; I think it was an apology. I swallowed back my tears and nodded slightly. At least she felt bad about what happened. She did it because she had to. I couldn’t hold that against her.

I figured I’d sleep in my old room tonight and started toward the stairs. Eventually, Nathan would calm down and get his head on straight. He had to.

“Kyra!” Nathan shouted. The anger was very evident in voice and I stopped, but I didn’t look at him. “Come here.”

I slowly turned and walked to the sitting area, stopping at the edge and staring at the ground. The room became silent.

“Look at me.”

I lifted my head and looked at him through my tears.

“I believe I am the only one here who has had the pleasure of your mouth on their dick. That is going to change.” He began speaking louder, not taking his eyes off me. “From now on, Kyra is simply one of the girls. A sex slave like the rest. I expect you to treat her as such.”

My jaw trembled and I shook my head. “Please don’t, Nathan,” I begged. “Please don’t do this.”

Nathan snorted. “Why? You think you’re better than the other girls?”

“Of course not, but I love you. You love me. There’s still a chance—”

“I was a fucking idiot and I won’t make that mistake again.” He pushed Yolanda aside and stood, pushing his erection back into his pants. “I believe I have a promise to fulfill.” His eyes were cold and hard—harder than they were when I met him. Hard like they were when he had guests.

He walked to me and glared at me. “And don’t you ever call me by my name again,” he growled, loud enough for the room to hear. “I think you need some training in how to act as a slave. You never were properly taught.”

He grabbed my hand and pushed me to the stairs. I heard murmurs from the others fade as Nathan dragged me up to the second floor to our room. Or was it his room again?

“Undress and kneel at the foot of the bed,” he growled as he closed the door. He pushed past me and walked to the bathroom.

It was like my first night all over again. I pulled my dress off and knelt by the bed as instructed, trying not to cry.
Why was he acting like this? This wasn’t who he was!

Or was it? Was this the true Nathan Pierce? Cold, hard Nathan?

No, I’d seen the softer side of him. I knew it was in there. Maybe if I stopped fighting him, he’d come back. Hope was all I had. I loved him so desperately.

He came back out of the bathroom. I’d left my panties on because of my pad. I hated tampons. He wasn’t happy, I could tell, but I didn’t think he wanted me bleeding all over the rug.

“Go get a tampon and come back.”

“Yes, Patrón,” I whispered and ran into the bathroom. When I came out, Nathan was sitting on the bed. I looked up at him, hopeful he had softened.

“I’m sorry I was angry, Kyra. All this isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

I sighed in relief and rushed over to him. My Nathan was back! I wrapped my arms around him, but he pulled them off of him and put them at my sides.

“But I will not allow you to invade my heart anymore. You are one of my girls and that is it. I will train you as you should have been trained when you came. You will please my guests as the other girls do. I will not be cruel to you. I will treat you as I treat the others.” His tone was even, his words frank, but they cut deep.
Had he ever loved me?
He was acting as if he hadn’t.

“Now, lie down on your stomach.”

I let out a sob of fear. He would rip me to shreds.

“I’m going to stretch you out, Kyra. It will hurt, but I won’t force myself inside you. You still need to be able to please a man, even if you’re menstruating. Luís will come tomorrow to give you the shot and it should dissipate. The other girls have periods very rarely.”

I laid down on the bed as instructed, trying not to cry and failing.

He massaged my ass. “Please don’t make this harder than it has to be, Kyra. Retaking our proper places is the right thing to do. For everyone.” His voice was no longer angry, but it wasn’t warm.

I felt something cool and wet on his fingers. “Relax. It will go better if you don’t fight me.”

Anal sex or breaking up? Probably both.

I lay there, legs spread apart as he began to ready me for my first anal sex. He trained me as he would have trained any other of his girls. And it cut my heart to shreds.

My things were moved into a room in the women’s house the next day. My room was between Amé’s and Julia’s. It was small, but big enough to be comfortable. We had communal bathrooms in the corner of the house. There was a nice grass courtyard in the center which gave us a sense of privacy.

Amé, Julia, and Laurie stayed by my side the entire day, trying to cheer me up. None of the girls were happy with Patrón, but there was nothing they could do about it. They didn’t speak badly of him, and I would hate for them to do so, but they were very sympathetic and told me how bad they felt for me. The only thing they said about him was they wished he would let himself be happy again like he was when we were together. I wished that, too. Even if he wasn’t with me, I wished he would let himself be happy again.

Dr. Perez came that afternoon and gave me the birth control shot. “I’m so sorry,
querida
,” he said as he poked my upper arm.

I realized this was the final step of separation from Nathan. We were no longer trying to have a baby. I was simply his sex slave. Nothing more.

“Give him time, Kyra,” Dr. Perez said, squeezing my hand. “He may come around.”

I winced as he squeezed my engagement ring into my finger. I needed to give that back to him; I shouldn’t be wearing it.

When the doctor left, I brushed my hair and went to return the ring to Patrón. I knocked on his office door and awaited his response.

“Yes, Kyra?” His voice was impassive. I hated it.