Distracted (17 page)

Bryson

I didn’t wanna go.

It was the final game of the series, the game that would decide if we were league champions for the second time in three years or if we were runner-up for the second time in three years.

Losing last year’s game had been a pretty tough pill to swallow, but nothing felt as tough as dealing with Kennedy leaving me. My chest felt heavy, my head felt light, and
I was
… I was so lost that even simple tasks like taking a shower felt like moving mountains.

My phone had been ringing off the hook ever since that stupid ass article dropped, but I only answered the ones from Miles, Wes, and Leslie. Miles was pissed at me for not telling him about his “nephew”, Wes was wondering why I was running so late for shootaround, and Leslie was keeping me up-to-date on my PR Rep’s moves to get this whole thing squashed. They still couldn’t pinpoint if Nicole had broken our non-disclosure agreement or if it was someone else who dropped the news, but none of that seemed as important as figuring out how to get Kennedy back.

Seeing her cry -
making her cry
- literally broke my heart. It wasn’t the first time a girl had cried over me to my face, but something about Kennedy’s tears felt like bullets to my chest.

I had fucked up.

I fucked up her trust in me, fucked up our vibes, fucked up our energy.

And
that
, I couldn’t live with.

I should’ve been heading to the arena, but instead I got dressed and headed straight to Kennedy’s apartment. It took a few knocks before the door was answered and once it was, my heart fell to my feet.

Landon was wearing the smuggest look as he said, “Can I help you with something?”

“Where’s Kennedy?” I had already saw her car in the parking lot so I knew she was home.

“I don’t think she’s really interested in the likes of you right now, bruh. But don’t worry, I’m taking
good
care of her.” I bit the inside of my cheek, clenching my fists tight as I tried to stop myself from throwing a punch. I was sure a reaction was all he really wanted.

I rubbed the back of my neck to self-soothe as I said, “Just umm… tell her I stopped by, alright?”

He shrugged before he replied, “Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t.”

I cocked my head to the side, trying to figure out what Kennedy ever saw in this clown. Surely she wasn’t giving him the time of day like he was insisting, but that didn’t stop the idea from giving me a headache as I walked back to the car.

&

The game came and went in a flash.

I could only vaguely remember the champagne-showers in the locker room and that was simply because I almost got blinded by a cork when I zoned out from the umpteenth time.

None of it felt as good as I imagined it to and I knew it was all because of her
.
Not that she had done anything wrong, but the fact that she wasn’t there to celebrate with me made it feel less important; less monumental.

I was dazing off again when Wes draped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me in to tease, “MVP! MVP! You were on fire tonight, bro!” It was crazy that my recollection of the game wasn’t good enough to determine if he was right.

“Thanks, man.”

He let me go and I continued down the hall to the postgame interview room. But once I realized he wasn’t walking with me, I turned around and found him with a confused look on his face.

“What’s up, bro? Aren’t you comin’?”

He took the few steps over to where I stood, taking a closer look at me before he said, “Yeah. I was just tryna figure out what the hell is wrong with you. We just won a championship, B. A championship! And looking at you, you would’ve thought we got our asses kicked.”

Damn, is it that obvious?

I did my best to convince him otherwise, forcing a smile as I told him, “I’m good, bro. Don’t trip.”

He only sighed before he replied, “You ain’t gotta fake it, B. Chloe already told me what happened with you and Kennedy.”

Damnit.

I tried to brush him off as best as I could. “Nah, I’m not even trippin’ off that. It is what it is. I’m just ready to get these interviews over with so I can roll to the crib.” I wanted nothing more than to grab one of the leftover Lime-A-Rita’s, take a long bath, and get in bed. But of course, Wes looked at me like I had said the most ludicrous thing he’d ever heard.

“
The crib
? You can
not
be serious right now. We gotta go out and celebrate, man. You know that.” I continued my pursuit of the interview room and he followed closely.

“I think I’ma sit this one out, Wes. Not really in the mood to party.”

He walked next to me stride for stride as he asked, “Damn. She really fucked your head up, didn’t she?”

“If it was only my head, I wouldn’t have a problem. It’s my heart that’s the fucked up one.” The feeling was so foreign, yet so deep. Moms had always told me that once the heart knew, it just knew.

And I definitely knew.

Even more so now, for all the wrong reasons.

Wes looked almost as exhausted as I felt when he said, “Shit, B. You gotta get that back then. Once the heart is involved, it’ll never just blow over. No matter what you do, no matter who you screw, she’ll always be in the back of your head. You’re just gonna have to fight for her forgiveness. If she feels the same way about you, she’ll forgive you eventually.” He made it sound so easy, but I knew that was hardly the case when it came to someone like stubborn ass Kennedy.

“I don’t have time for eventually. I need her back now.” Though it wasn’t like that much time had passed since the day she stormed out of my house, it had certainly gone by in slow motion, teasing me for my wrongdoings with every second that ticked away.

We stood outside of the door as Wes put a hand to his chin and said, “Well… I got an idea for how we can expedite the process a little bit.”

I could hardly imagine what kind of bullshit Wes had come up with in that head of his. But I really wasn’t in a position to turn down any advice so I told him, “I’ll take whatever your dishin’ out, bro.”

He pulled me in, whispering his master plan in my ear and though I knew it was a stretch, it was the best shot I’d have at getting my girl back.

Kennedy

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed.

Hell, I really didn’t even know what day it was if we were being completely honest.

Nothing other than going to the bathroom felt worthy of getting up for and thankfully that was only a few steps away.

My stomach felt empty, but I didn’t have a taste for anything.

My mouth was dry, but nothing sounded like it would quench my thirst.

My hair was a mess, my skin felt dewy, and I was pretty sure the sleep-lines on my face were a nap away from being permanent.

Long story short, I was a wreck.

And it was all his fault.

I mean… was telling me the baby was actually his really that hard of a task?

All it took were a couple of words and I would’ve at least been in a position to make the decision of if I was comfortable with the idea or not. Of course I knew it was always a possibility and I suppose it was somewhat my fault for not sticking to our original deal. And now that I had developed such strong feelings for him - had fallen in love with him -, I may have actually considered the arrangement if he would’ve just told me. But finding out from a friend when the owner of the news had been right next to me - or inside of me if we’re being technical -, that was like trying to swallow a horse pill with a swollen throat.

It just wasn’t gonna happen.

I heard a soft knock on the door, but I really wasn’t in the mood to deal with the only person who could be on the other end; Landon. He had checked in on me a few times and though I was grateful for the teeny ounce of human interaction, he was still in second place on my shit list.

He knocked once more before coming inside and my nose was instantly assaulted with the smell of greasy cheeseburgers and fresh out of the fryer French fries.

Naturally my stomach growled in response.

He walked over to the blinds, pulling the string to open them and letting in the little bit of light from the night’s sky. Then he found a spot on the edge of the bed where I was laying.

He stroked my hair out of my face, wearing the biggest smile as he sat the bag right in front of me.

“Hey babe, you should probably try to eat something. I know you have got to be hungry by now.”

“What do you have?” In a couple of sniffs, I probably could’ve figured out the exact order. But that was gonna require more energy that I had to give.

“Your favorite. Double cheeseburger, add bacon, extra mustard, hold the tomato. And a side of curly fries.” I used the last of my energy to sit up and rip the bag open.

“Damn, girl. You know there’s been food in the house all this time.” I rolled my eyes, pulling back the wrapper of the heavenly goodness. Then I lifted the burger to my mouth, completely unbothered by the grease that dripped down to my wrist when I took a bite, and moaned as I chewed.

I could feel Landon watching my every move as I took a second bite. Through chews, I managed to ask, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

He smiled again as he answered, “Because even in this state of… disarray, you’re still pretty damn attractive.” I couldn’t smile back, but I was able to give a little smirk.

“Well thank you. And thanks for the food.
”

He nodded as he stood up from the bed. “Anytime, babe. There’s a soda too, but I figured you’d prefer a glass of wine.”

“
Glass
? More like
bottle
.” He laughed his way out of the door before eventually returning with the bottle and a corkscrew.

“If you need anything else just give me a holler, alright?”

I pulled my hair behind my ear, focusing my attention back on what was left of the burger as I nodded my head yes. And once he was out of sight, all I could think about was how nice he was being to me. Of course we would never be what we once were, but it still felt good to have someone on my side.

&

Turning on my phone was a huge mistake.

My head was still fuzzy from drinking half a bottle of wine the night before, so the light alone was irritating. But the endless notifications pouring in took irritation to a whole new level.

Texts from Chloe, texts from Bryson, texts from numbers I didn’t even have saved. And then voicemail, after voicemail, after voicemail of…
apologies
.

I couldn’t deal.

I replied to Chloe’s texts to let her know I was indeed alive and had no intentions of going out anytime soon like she was insisting, then I replied with a capital FUCK YOU to Bryson that never actually got sent.

I scrolled through a few of the texts from numbers I didn’t recognize, mostly bloggers looking for information on Bryson, before I found one from someone I actually knew.

Hey sis. I hope all is well. I know you’re upset with Bryson, but he really wants to know if you’re at least okay. Text me back and let me know if you don’t wanna talk to him directly.  -Miles

What a sweetheart.

Hey Miles. I’m good. Thanks for checking in on me. Much <3 -KW

Since the text was actually from a few hours earlier, I wasn’t expecting a reply. So I was surprised when one did in fact come in.

Glad to hear that, ma. And keep being mad at him. He deserves it. ;) -Miles

A real smile crept to my face for the first time in however long I had been holed up in my bedroom. I left my phone on the charger, heading to the bathroom to at least do the bare minimum of taking a shower and brushing my teeth. Then I threw on a clean pair of pajamas and went into the living room to find Landon sound asleep on a makeshift pallet in the middle of the floor with the TV still on from the night before.

To no surprise at all, it was turned to ESPN.

I couldn’t help but tune in as they went on and on about how Bryson had played lights out for his team to win the championship. I honestly wanted to be happy for him -
wanted to be proud of him
-, but my stubborn side wouldn’t allow for it. Surely he was celebrating, living in the glory of yet another championship, while I hung out around the house beyond miserable.

I couldn’t go out like that.

I headed back to the bedroom, put together the best outfit I could find, and spent the next couple of hours getting completely dolled up, from my hair to my makeup, and everything in between.

Then I grabbed my phone and sent Chloe a text reneging on my initial rejection of her plans.

If he could move on with his life, then so could I.

Bryson

I sure hope his plan works.

I was honestly nervous as I sat at the private bar in the club, wearing all black so that I wouldn’t stand out too much even though we were obviously in VIP. But I knew if Kennedy saw me, she would more than likely turn around and get away before I could talk to her. I was surprised when Chloe told Wes she had actually agreed to come out though I was sure Chloe hadn’t given her every detail of what she was really getting herself into.

My back was turned to the crowd when I heard Chloe yell, “There’s my superstar!”

My heart started beating even faster just from knowingly being in the same vicinity as Kennedy. I turned around slowly and my jaw literally dropped to the floor.

She looked flawless as fuck.

Her hair was laid in soft waves that fell perfectly around her face, her makeup looked like she had found all the right tutorials on YouTube, and her outfit fit in all the right places giving the classy yet sexy vibe she always pulled off so well.

I could tell she was second guessing her attendance as she watched Chloe throw herself at Wes, but eventually Wes snuck a hug from Kennedy also.

And now it was go time.

I stood up, taking the last sip of my club soda before I headed their way. She didn’t see my approach as she was already engaged in a conversation with Wes and Chloe, so I gently tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention.

When she turned around, she wasn’t quite smiling, but she wasn’t frowning either so I felt a little hopeful as I said, “Hi.”

“Hello.”

We stood there in a fog of silence, neither of us really knowing what to say. Of course I had rehearsed this exact moment a million times before I came, but I guess her beauty threw all that shit out of the window.

I cleared my throat to ask, “Do you think we could umm… go talk?”

She crossed her arms, wearing a hint of a smirk as she asked, “Here?”

I tried to stay calm as I told her, “Yeah. They have a rooftop that’s a lot quieter than this. If that’s cool with you.” I knew if she didn’t want to talk to me, there was really no way I could make her.

“Yeah, it’s cool with her!” Chloe jumped in, damn near pushing Kennedy into my arms. Kennedy shot her a glare before she took a deep breath and followed me up the stairs to the rooftop.

The setting was a little more intimate than I imagined, with only a few people occupying the lounge-style seating around various pit fires. I wanted to take her hand and guide her to the one I thought would be the most private, but instead I kept my hands to myself and just walked to an unoccupied area.

She fell into her seat, gazing out into the night sky and I honestly could’ve just stared at her all night long. But I knew that wasn’t what I had brought her up here for, so I decided to kick up a conversation.

Of course, the second I opened my mouth to say something, she spoke up.

“So… I heard you guys won the big game. Congratulations.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

The silence returned and it took everything in me not to reach out and touch her. I mean, she looked so damn good that I just knew even the slightest graze of her skin would probably ignite the flame that was brewing inside of me.

I watched her closely as she twiddled with her fingers before she finally turned her attention to me and said, “I umm… guess we should talk, as adults, so we can come to some type of closure…
as adults
.”

“Kenn, I’ma be real with you. I’m not really interested in closure. I’m interested in hashing this shit out so we can move on…
together
.”

She caught the cutest little attitude as she replied, “Well
I’m
not really interested in being with you right now, so it looks like we have a problem.
”

I could no longer resist the urge to take her hands in mine.

“Baby, come on now. Did I fuck up?
Yes
. Could I have told you right away?
Yes
. But I didn’t purposely keep it from you to be malicious.”

She didn’t pull her hands away, but her little attitude remained as she asked, “Well what do you call it, huh? Protecting my feelings?
”

I nodded. “Yes. Exactly that.”

She leaned in, dropping her tone to a whisper as she said, “Well guess what, Bryson? You fucked that up regardless.”

“
Baby…
”

She finally pulled her hands back into her own lap and released a sigh of her own. I could tell she was just as exhausted with the conversation as I was when she said, “Just tell me, Bryson. Why didn’t you tell me right away?”

I gave her the honest truth. “I just… we were in such a good place and I didn’t wanna ruin it yet. I didn’t wanna lose you, Kennedy. And yes, that happened regardless too. But I swear I was gonna tell you when the time was right.”

She rolled her eyes as she replied, “There’s never a right time to tell someone you love that you’re having a baby by someone else.”

“See. So now you know where I was coming from.” I was trying to lighten the mood, but she didn’t take the bait.

Instead she pushed her hair behind her ear, almost appearing too calm to be true as she said, “Look, Bryson. I appreciate everything you did for me, and respect your position on the situation, but we just…
can’t
.”

“Why can’t we, Kenn? We were good before this happened. Damn near perfect if we’re being real. And I know you love me just as much as I love you. So why can’t you look past this one thing?”

Clearly I must’ve asked the wrong question as she stood up in a fury. “It’s not just this one thing!”

A few set of eyes shot our way, so she lowered her tone to continue, “It’s a whole child we’re talking about. A child that you’re responsible for until it becomes an adult and hell, even after that. So don’t try to sit up here and act like I’m being frivolous over something basic. A child is a big fuckin’ deal.”

I stood up to meet her eyes, stealing her hands one more time to tell her, “You know what, Kennedy? You’re right. And I can’t expect you to stop everything you’re doing, everything you’re building, to join me and my problems.”

She refused to keep eye contact with me, dropping her eyes to our feet as she asked, “So what are you saying?”

The breath didn’t come easy, but I desperately needed it to reply, “I guess I’m saying… though it pains me to say this… I guess this is really goodbye.
”

I could tell she was initially shocked, but she quickly brushed it off. “I agree. I mean, it’s what’s best, right?”

“No, but I get it. It’s what’s best for you. I don’t have a voice in this.”

“You had a voice. You just refused to use it.”

The silence was deafening, as if everything around us had suddenly disappeared. And in my mind, everything
had
disappeared with my attention being completely stolen by her; as always.

“So this is really it, huh?”

She didn’t seem thrilled to answer, “Yeah, I guess so.”

We shared a few more moments of just…
looking
at each other before she finally pulled away.

“I’m gonna… go back downstairs.”

I knew there was no stopping her, so I gave her a nod and told her I’d be down in a minute. And with every step she took away from me, it felt like she was really stepping on my heart.