Divergent Parody: Avirgent (8 page)

“I wasn't an initiate. I was here since almost the beginning. I'd say the second year of the factions.” He shrugged. “They just accepted me. That was before this whole tattoo nonsense. When bravery meant standing up for your fellow man and taking a bullet. Not jumping off of a fucking roof.”

 Christine pushed her lips in, probably thinking of what to say next, but shook her head, and looked back at us. She mouthed to Al, “Answer for everything.”

Al gave a slight smirk and nodded. “Well sir, we're waiting for you, and the big guy over there! Hey, how you doing my little psychopath?!”

 Limp Ussy spit at the floor. “Just fine. I feel like I just got a blow-job from the hottest bitch in the room. Christine for example. I've always loved black chicks. Especially Bi-racial blacks like her.”

 “I'm not Bi-racial, and the fact that you're attracted to me isn't flattering.”

Limp giggled like a school girl, and slapped his knees. “Oh boy, I'll give you a bye in our fight, and take you as my wife bitch. Then I'll snap that little wops' ass!”

“Hey!” shouted Steven. He flicked his hair out of his eyes and looked up at Limp.

“Did you really just say that? Wop? I'm Italian too! Want to call me that?!”

TB4 gulped. “Steven, I don't suggest-”

“Shut up! Dammit! I've had enough! Enough! Everyone ignores me, and, and...umm...dammit, what the Hell's your name?”

He looked at the girl that was always with them.

She sighed and said, “Lisa. My name's Lisa and you don't see me making a big deal about being ignored. Hell, I'm just grateful to be here. Now get your puffed up chest away from him before that psycho knocks you out.”

“No! He killed Max! That guy was cool, he was gonna let me screw his hot sister back home and post it all over GET-A-Face-LIFE-Book, but no...thanks to this...this...”

He looked back up at Limp and poked his chest. Limp giggled with each poke, as if Steven was tickling him.

 Al shook his head, hugging Hailey tight. “Oh shit, this isn't gonna be good. Hey Hailey, go get a mop and a bucket. We're gonna need it.”

Hailey saluted. “Right on, brother!” She ran to wherever the cleaning closet was and Al put both of his arms around Christine and I. “I've seen this all the time. Guy thinks he's under-appreciated, he goes after the biggest cat, thinking he's freakin' Indiana Jones or some shit. Difference with him and Jones, Jones had hands. This kid...” He shook his head.

Christine looked at him. “Doesn't have hands?”

“Nope. Not at all. I can tell. When he and Limp were roughing me up-well mostly Limp-it was like feeling a slice of Virginia Ham slap against my face. He was like a windmill this kid, but a floppy, flaccid wind mill. Not erect and-”

 Christine sighed. “We get it Al. You love to use innuendos.”

Al smirked. “Well, whatever to make the ladies laugh and have a good time.”

 I wasn't having a good time. Especially knowing that I was going to witness a murder yet again...just a few hours away from witnessing a murder I'd be an accomplice to.

 Steven poked him hard and Limp burst into laughter, holding his sides.

“Listen here,
bucko!
I'm not going to let you go around doing whatever you want! I'm a man too! I've taken boxing lessons!”

“By who? Your little sister?” said Lisa.

We all chuckled, and that made Steven's face a big balloon of red. He looked back down at Lisa and pointed in her face. “What the Hell's wrong with you? Aren't you on my side? I thought we were friends. I shared you my world!”

 Lisa nodded dully. “Yeah I know, and your world is boring. Your Mom, your Dad, your retarded Dog, and your porn obsession. You got nothing going for you, so you decided to rig the results and join Tricker to make your boring Honest faction proud. Oh boo, hoo, hoo! Enjoy getting your teeth knocked out ya cry-baby!”

 “Oooh! Violation!” yelled Al. That got Christine to LOL. I didn't know what violation meant...but I knew at least
that
word must be bad.

TB4 looked between them confusingly. “Is this true? You had the results rigged?”

Steven looked around at all of us, and at the floor.

“Look into my face you little shit,” said TB4, more menacingly. “Did you have the results rigged?!”

Steven shook, and shivered as if he were in the middle of a storm, and he might as well had been. He was in the middle of two huge storms. One named Limp and the other TB4.

“I-I-I....I mean Dammit! Does it matter? You let this freakin monster kill my friend!”

He started tearing up, and I felt about one percent sorry for him. I didn't get to know him, so I didn't really care.

 TB4 said, “Hey, I get it. Your friend died, but there's nothing I can do. Once the kids are in, they're in. I can't do anything about it.”

“Bullshit!” he yelled. “You just don't want to you selfish asshole! Do you have to be such an atypical douchnozzle?!” He balled his fists up. “But I don't blame you. The only one to blame is Limp Ussy.” He raised his fists, and Limp laughed louder.

 TB4 tried to reason with him. “Back down kid. Just back down. In the fights, I can stop it. Here, you're on your own. Think about this-”

Steven flew a fist into Limp's face, but it didn't hurt Limp, it hurt Steven, who threw his hands back and massaged them.

“Ow, ow, ow. What are you man, the Termi-”

Limp punched Steven in the face repeatedly. Left, right,left as TB4 backed away and we all stood there watching the massacre before our eyes. Limp delivered one last punch and raised his blood-soaked fists in the air.

“Yeeeeaaah!”

 He walked through the entrance doors and into the dawn.

Steven's face looked like nothing but chewed up meat. It was like he didn't have a face anymore. Oh well, he didn't look very good anyway. He had inferior genes.

Hailey came just in the nick of time. “I have the mop!”

“Good, clean this up, and we'll be on our way,” said TB4. He sighed and crossed his arms.

 Al took his arms away and looked down at Steven and back at us. “Yup. It always looks like this when the big Cat teaches the small rat a lesson. Well, teaches us one considering the guy never comes back.” He sighed. “This one ain't either.”

Al nodded at TB4, and walked out along with Lisa. There was six of us now. Me, Limp, Lisa, Christine, Hailey and Al. It was as if everyone was dropping like flies and hopefully Limp would go down as well.

 I was never a huge believer in God, but when I saw Christine putting her hands in prayer, making the holy trinity, I imagined myself doing the same.

 Steven's eye and bashed in nose twitched, and so did his legs, as if he were some dead bug laying on the floor. I hoped to God I wouldn't end up like that.

 But of course, all it took were staring into TB4's deep blue eyes to swell my emotions back into a happy place. He was so mysterious and so calm. I needed to know more about him.

 
CHAPTER 5: PLEDGE

 The district looked like Hell to me. There were hundreds of dirty working class people with sullen faces pushing shopping carts and trying to keep their kids from stealing things from the lit up stores. I saw prostitutes constantly walking up to Limp, Al and my future husband TB4. Damn those whores. TB4 actually took their number. I felt sad, and

Christine let out a “Mhm. See?”

I looked up at Al and he shrugged. “Told you. Guy's a dog.”

I shook my head. “I don't care. I can change him. Watch, you'll see.”

 Al shrugged again and whispered, “Yeah, you probably can. Then again, that's what OJ Simpson's wife said before she got her brain's bashed in like a melon. That guy is as much, if not a worse psycho than Limp. Do yourself a favor and go out with me. At least you won't be walking on eggshells then. You'll be walking on scarlet carpets.”

 I grimaced. “Scarlet carpets? Stained with your mob money? No thanks, I don't want to face the FBI.”

Al frowned. “Hey, it's my friend Joey Two-Tone that's in the game. Not me. Just because I'm Italian doesn't mean I'm in the mob. I find that racist.”

I scoffed. “Please, whatever.” I walked to the front of the line and tapped TB4's shoulder.

“Hi!” I said excitedly, putting my hand on my mouth, barely able to contain my excitement. TB4 looked up and down, and threw his head back chuckling. I heard Al  a few steps away trying to flirt with Lisa.

 TB4 said, “Hi!” mocking my small voice.

“Hey! You don't need to do that.”

He nudged my shoulder. “I should. You're always making such a fool of yourself. Seriously, what compelled you to dress so tacky?”

“This isn't tacky it's-”

“It's tacky. Let me tell you what, the girl I know at the tattoo shop is good at the latest Tricker biker wear. Her and the other Asians know their stuff.”

He smiled. “They know everything. Math, English, chopsticks...” He imitated holding a pair of chopsticks and using them to pick up some food. “No, no, no. I kid, I kid.”

He made me chuckle with that joke.

 “I love them, I do. They're good people, and you'll see. The best Trickers around if you ask me.”

I gulped. “Is one of the Asians a girl who speaks as if she's bored all the time and smokes even though she coughs too much?”

“Yup. She's real cool. I wish I could have screwed her once though, but she's too uptight. She'd rather suck on that cancer-stick than suck on my...well, you get it, right?”

I nodded lightly. “Yeah, I get it.” I imagined what his you know what looked like. I wondered if it was as veiny and vascular as his arms. I got hot just thinking about it.

“So...” I said, thinking of something just as we passed a 'McGreasys' restaurant.

“What do you like to do TB4? Dance around your room with your theme music?”

He notched a brow. “Yeah.”

“Really? I was just joking.”

“No, I really do. It's a wonderful experience, that doesn't come cheap by the way. I pay a band at least $1,000 to perform that live every time. And every time they never disappoint. Next time, they'll be in person, but for now, loud speakers it is. It costs money, but that's no problem I have money.”

“I have money too!”

“Cool. You better win this, or you'll end up like them.” He pointed at a disheveled woman laying on a sidewalk with a sign that said, “Please feed me. I couldn't join a faction and Jeanine left me here to rot on my ass.”

He shrugged. “Or you can just be some footballer's wife. That's not too bad. Just make sure to never cheat on him and you'll be good.”

He burped and pointed up at a sign above. “We're here!”

I looked up as we stopped in front of the store. The sign at the top was shaped as a giant tattoo needle and said,

“Chink in the Armor Tats! Get yours today so you two can be loved long time by a nice illegal immigrant!”

I shared a look with TB4. He said, “Yeah, they have one sick sense of of humor. Then again, all of us do in Trickers. Get used to it Mika.”

 “I've already been used to it. My Dad says racial jokes all the time. They're so funny.”

TB4 chuckled lightly. “That doesn't surprise me. You get your tacky fashion sense from your Mom?”

“Hey!”

 He laughed, shaking his head, and motioned for everyone to get in.

“Come on everyone! This here's the place.”

Al smirked, and patted TB4 on the shoulder as we walked in. “Don't lie boss, you got yourself a nice quickie from one of these girls huh?”

“Yeah, but not the best one.”

We walked in, and TB4 pointed at the Asian lady that tested me. She was behind a counter, scoping a magazine, with smoke billowing from her cigarette in her left hand. It flowed up to the ceiling like a chimney blowing smoke to the sky.

Al said, “Oh come on, don't tell me a guy like you is whipped by it too.”

“Aren't we all?” TB4 sighed and walked up to her, us following. Limp stood at the door and said, “I'm not taking any fucking tattoos.”

 TB4 smiled at him and said, “Hey, I'm not making you. Go ahead, peruse the town if you wish. Just make it back to the facility by 8:00. Sleepy time.”

Limp spat at the ground. “How about this, I make it back to the facility by 10:00, and if you make it a problem, I'll bash your face in?”

 TB4 paused. “I'd love to see you try. You're all jacked up, and while yours are bigger than mine, my mind is sharper than yours.”

 Limp chuckled, spat on the floor and marched out of the tattoo parlor.

“That kid...too rabid. Too rabid.”

Al smirked at Christine and I, as if he was telling us TB4 would have no problem with Limp gone.

We got up to the cash register where the Asian lady was and TB4 winked at her.

“Hello there, how's business?”

“Slow. Like your game.”

That got a laugh out of Al. “Oh boy, this girl. She just insulted your game man, you're  gonna  take that from her?”

TB4 smiled and said, “It's cool, it's cool. So, I got the initiates here with me. You have some room for them right now?”

She turned a page on her magazine and said, “Yeah, sure. But that Klansmen girl goes last.”

“What? Who?”

She pointed up at me, without looking at me. “Her. The girl with the weird name, the Vanity girl. I want her last. I'll do her myself, we have history.” She looked up at me with what I thought to be the first genuine smile I saw out of her. “Ain't that right Mika?” She took a puff of her cigarette and then exhaled a cloud of smoke.

 ---

“So you learned not to be a racist bitch yet?” said the Asian lady, finishing up my tattoo. She hadn't spoken to me the entire time, and I considered that very convenient. It was as if I were writing a book and didn't know the process of getting a tattoo. So I started with her finishing my tattoo while she starts speaking with me. Cool.

 “What do you mean? I'm not racist!”