Divergent Thinking (11 page)

You recently did a career-shadow with a working journalist at a local newspaper. How has that experience factored into your thoughts about being a journalist?

Seeing how much they write and all the different people they meet and interview was a positive for me. I was also interested in the digital work involved in a newspaper, such as the website maintenance and the layout programs. The newspaper I shadowed at actually uses the same layout program as I do in my school. Plus, the atmosphere was professional but friendly, and I had some fun conversations.

There were a couple things that gave me some doubts, though. The major one everyone mentions is that it's a changing career industry and jobs are hard to find. Lots of newspapers are laying off reporters, and some are closing from lack of sales. Many newspapers are going online, though no one knows if that will create more or fewer jobs. I also learned how important it is to get internships and experience if I want to work in the field, which pressures me to decide whether it's something I want to pursue even sooner.

I still have to really consider the pros and cons as it gets closer to when I have to decide. In the end, it might not come down to which choice is most logical. I'll make the one that feels right to me, and I'm sure I'll still have a few misgivings. Tris weighs the pros and cons of which faction to choose, but she still has many doubts even after she decides.

Sometimes our decisions have more to do with emotion than logic. There are a lot of factors that go into Tris' decision: aptitude, skill, desire, passion, a touch of rebellion . . . and family values.

During the Choosing Ceremony, Tris is in turmoil over her choice, but she believes Caleb is calm and assumes that he will choose Abnegation. However, he surprises her by choosing Erudite, and she views his choice as an act of betrayal. Not only does their father hate Erudite, but Tris hasn't yet made her choice, and if they both leave Abnegation, their parents will be alone.

When I was choosing a college, my sister Karen was in her third year at Drexel University for chemical engineering. I already knew I was interested in meteorology, and Drexel had an atmospheric science major, so I applied there . . . mainly because the thought of going to a familiar school and already knowing a group of people (my sister and her friends) was comforting. Plus, like Tris did when she rejected Erudite immediately, I made the decision from a sense of loyalty—Drexel was my sister's school and she'd been the first person in our immediate and extended family to attend college. Our entire family was excited (go Dragons!). Then, increasing the pressure, Drexel accepted me and offered me a scholarship.

I followed my sister's footsteps for many things throughout my childhood. I learned how to play the piano because she bugged our parents for lessons. She joined orchestra in high school, and four years later, I did as well. There are a number of other examples of me being a “copycat,” and, for a while, it appeared I'd go to the same college, too.

My mother questioned my initial decision to attend Drexel even though it wasn't the best choice for me. I grew up in Philadelphia and didn't relish the thought of attending a city school—I wished for wide-open spaces and fresh air, and Drexel was in the middle of Philadelphia. The atmospheric science major Drexel offered wasn't exactly what I'd desired, either. The only reason I could offer her was how familiar and safe Drexel felt. Karen had shared her experiences with me so I knew what to expect.

Once I realized the motive for my choice, I also realized it was
my
life, not Karen's. She'd never pressured me to follow her; I was doing it from my own fear of the unknown. Fear can be a strong motivator. Consider Four's decision to leave Abnegation because he wanted to escape his father, or Tris' fear of upsetting her parents at the Choosing Ceremony, though she eventually chooses Dauntless despite it.

Luckily for me, I'd also applied to Pennsylvania State University, which is one of the best undergraduate meteorology programs in the United States, and they'd accepted me as well.

Your brother Luke just went through the whole choosing-a-college gauntlet. He chose to attend Penn State—the same school your father and I attended. What do you think about his choice? You know we are very proud of our alma mater and, truthfully, excited Luke is attending Penn State (go Lions!). Do you feel any pressure to attend Penn State?

I'm glad Luke is attending Penn State. I like Penn State and have fun cheering on their football team. However, I feel a need to branch off and go somewhere that would be better for my needs. You, Dad, and Luke all majored in scientific and mathematical things, while I'm hoping to go to school for a writing or journalism major. I'll probably still apply to Penn State even though I don't feel any pressure to attend. I know you and Dad will support me no matter what.

You don't feel any pressure? Huh. Guess I need to be more obvious.

Actually, I do agree that Penn State might not be the best fit for you. I think a smaller school with a good writing program would work. Like, say, Seton Hill University, where I teach in the MFA program. Seton Hill has an excellent undergraduate program (hint, hint). But you don't seem as . . . enthusiastic about the school as I am.

Oh my gosh! Stop bringing up Seton Hill! I DO NOT want to go there. This is probably the hundredth time you have brought it up.

All right, I'll stop . . . maybe . . .

I understand you want to attend a school far enough away that you have to live on campus. What drives this desire? Leaving home for college isn't the same as Tris choosing Dauntless and having to leave the only home she's ever known to go live with strangers, but it's still a gigantic step. I avoided leaving home for two years by attending a branch campus of Penn State before living at the main campus. Easing into the transition worked for me—I made a bunch of friends at the branch campus who moved with me.

I enjoy having responsibility and doing things for myself, and I feel like when I'm a senior in high school I'll be ready to be on my own (and get away from the family—no offense, Mom). I make friends quickly, so I'm not worried about being alone my first year at college. I feel that being away from home will give me a chance to figure things out on my own. Also, it will force me to do things myself and without help from you and Dad. The freedom of college appeals to me, and I think I'll do well in that setting.

Still, even though I want to live on campus, I also want to live close enough that I can come back and enjoy the comforts of home every once in a while.

You will always be welcome to come back home as long as you don't bring your dirty laundry for me to clean. And I plan to come visit you . . . often.

Tris' faction choice may be permanent, but her family is still allowed to visit—once, at least, and it's very similar to a parents' weekend at college. Tris' mother's visit during initiation helps Tris feel better about her decision because it means Natalie supports her daughter's choice. (Tris' father's absence also sends a clear message: he's upset by her choice.) It's also during that scene that her mother inadvertently reveals she was in Dauntless before choosing Abnegation, and knowing she has some family connection to the faction eases Tris' worries.

I remember when my parents helped me move into a dorm room for the first time. I couldn't wait for them to leave. After a few weeks on my own, I couldn't wait for them to come back! I remained on campus until Thanksgiving, and by that time, I
needed
to be home. In fact, when my friend's car died after she picked me up, I cried over the delay (while she cried over the cost of the repair). The desire to be home in my own bed surrounded by my family pulsed in my chest. It was a physical ache.

At one point, Tris feels the same way. She visits Caleb to pass on their mother's message about researching the simulation serum, but the desire to see him—to make a connection with a piece of home—also drives her actions. During the visit, though, she realizes that, even in the short time period they were apart, they have both changed and grown. Their differences are now glaringly obvious. Tris also understands “home” would never be the same. You may find the same is true after you go off to college.

I'm sure when I come home from college, my room, the house, you and Dad, and the cat will all be the same, but I will feel different. Going away to college is a huge decision no matter if I go an hour away or five hours away from home. It's bound to change my life. Any big decision is.

I remember believing that my choice in careers would be the BIGGEST decision ever. And, once made, it'd be unchangeable. Thinking about all the money I'd spend for tuition and all the time I'd spend studying, I felt this choice would guide my entire life. Is that how you feel?

I have a strong desire to make a good choice on my career and fully commit to it so I can find the best job I can, one that I'll enjoy. My friends and I feel the same way—that this is a big choice and we NEED to get it right. However, I know that you completely changed careers and now have a great job that you enjoy, and that it didn't matter that you didn't pick it to start with. Too bad my mind refuses logic. I'm already planning a career that I want to do for the rest of my life.

My first month as a working meteorologist—doing air-quality assessments, sitting in a cubicle, and listening to my new coworkers complain—was horrible. I felt a little like Tris must have at the beginning of her initiation into Dauntless: I thought I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. Then there were the office politics and the cliques. Tris has her own set of politics to suffer through. The other initiates form cliques and call her a Stiff, and, as the smallest initiate, she feels her odds of passing “are not good.” Like me, she was also scared that she'd made a mistake.

What I didn't understand at the time was that I needed to adjust my visions of a perfect career and work environment to be more realistic, just like Tris has to do when she joins Dauntless. She adjusts, works hard, refuses to give up despite almost being killed, and makes a couple friends. Along the way, she learns to love her faction and proves she belongs there both to herself and to the others.

While I worked as a meteorologist, I found acceptance, but I also started writing. My transition to novelist spanned eight years as my hobby turned into a career. I returned to college, this time earning a Masters of Arts degree in writing from Seton Hill University (go Griffins!), and went on to publish twelve novels and a dozen short stories.

In today's world, my career change is hardly unique. According to a study by New York University researchers, a professional worker will, on average, change careers three times in a lifetime . . . which brings me to the crux of this conversation.

In
Insurgent,
Tobias' mother, Evelyn, wants him to join her and the factionless. Tobias reminds her he
chose
Dauntless, and she tells him that “choices can be made again.” This quote resonated deeply with me. Not because she was trying to change his mind (go Dauntless!), but because it's true. You may not be able to change your original choice, but you can always make another one—a different one. And that takes the pressure off making the perfect choice. Because most of the time, there are no irreversibly bad ones—even in Tris' world.

My experiences, my education, my mistakes, my failures, my successes, the hours of hard work, and, yes, the hours of goofing off have culminated in who I am
right now.
I can't undo any of those choices I made. And truthfully I wouldn't.

If a test had told me to be a fiction writer when I was in high school, and I listened to it, I wouldn't have sparked on the idea that led to my second series of books about magicians who can harvest energy from storms and bottle it in glass orbs. I wouldn't have had the technical knowledge about the environmental systems needed to keep my characters alive while living in their giant metal cube in
Inside Out.
The examples are endless. I've learned life is fodder for my stories. No experience is wasted. And the perfect example of this is Tris' return to her Abnegation values. All her experiences as Dauntless, and all the difficulties she overcomes during the course of the three books of the Divergent trilogy, are what bring her to the decision to sacrifice herself at the end of
Allegiant.
They are why she knows it is the right thing to do.