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Authors: Evangeline Anderson

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Chapter Thirty-nine

 

Oh
no. Oh, no. Oh, nonononono…

Becca
pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes, trying to get rid of the image,
trying to unsee the dark twin’s final moments. But no matter what she did, she couldn’t
stop the memory from spinning like a loop inside her mind.

The
shocked look on Truth’s face, the bloody blade poking out of his back, the way
he had said her name and then fallen to the ground… She was caught in it, like
some dark spider’s web that wouldn’t let her go. Wouldn’t let her forget that
he was…

“Dead.
Truth is dead and I declare Garron the winner of this
Y’grin,”
the
Ancient’s voice penetrated her frantic thoughts. “He has the right to Truth’s
female and his pick of any other asset of his fallen foe that he chooses.”

“Very
good,” she heard Garron say. “I will take the female and my brother’s ship.”

She
forced herself to open her eyes and watch what was going on. Had she really
just been won like a piece of property by Truth’s brother?

“His
female and his ship. That is acceptable,” the Ancient said.

“I
will also take charge of Far, my brother’s twin,” Garron continued.

There
were restless murmurs among the Rai’ku.

“I
see,” the Ancient said. “And why would you wish to do this?”

“Just
look at him.” Garron pointed at Far’s prone form contemptuously. “With the
poison from S’reth’s talons in his blood, he won’t last long. I will bind his
body in the
char
tree in the Forgotten Hollow and let the animals eat
his flesh. That way he won’t desecrate the hallowed ground of the elder trees
when he dies.”

“What?”
Becca couldn’t keep the horror out of her voice. She covered Far’s broad back,
which was barely rising and falling anymore, with her own slighter frame. “No,
you can’t—you
can’t!”

“I
will take Truth’s body and dispose of it the same way,” Garron continued
pitilessly.

“That
is not usual,” T’lar objected, stepping forward. “It is the custom after a
Y’grin
for the pack to feast on the flesh of the losing contender.”

Garron
spat on the ground at his uncle’s feet.

“Are
you saying you wish to pollute your body with tainted meat?”

T’lar
looked taken aback. “No, I never—”

“I
didn’t think so.” Garron raised his voice. “Both of these interlopers will be
bound to the
char
tree to feed only the lowest beasts of Pax. No
dr’gin
of the pack will partake in this feast of shame!”

“Agreed,”
said the Ancient before T’lar could protest again.

“Thank
you, Ancient.” Garron bowed his head. He unstrapped the
ghat
from his
forearm and then knelt on the freezing ground to unstrap the weapon from
Truth’s still form as well.

Up
until now, Becca had felt frozen to the spot. Now she found she could suddenly
move again. She jumped up, leaving Far for a moment to go to Truth. He was
lying face down but his head was turned to the side and she could see his face.
His eyes were closed and his lips were parted a little, allowing a trickle of
blood to drip to the ground below.

“Truth?”
she whispered, putting a hand to his cold cheek. “Truth, please…please don’t be
dead.”

“Come,
Becca.” Garron put a hand on her arm to help her up.

At
his light touch, Becca felt something snap inside her.

“You
bastard!”
She turned on Truth’s younger brother, her hands hooked into
claws, and went for him. “How could you?
How could you?
You killed him!”
She couldn’t see past the red curtain of rage that had fallen over her vision.
For a moment her sole purpose in life was to scratch his pretty turquoise eyes
right out of his head.

Garron
caught her by the wrists and squeezed hard.

“Becca,
no,” he said fiercely. “Stop it. Just stop it now.”

“I
can’t stop. I
won’t
stop. You killed him! Your own brother! You
bastard.”
She was crying now—sobbing actually. Garron still held her by the wrists
but he had a helpless look on his face, as though he had no idea what to do
with her.

Suddenly
the fight went out of her and Becca slumped down. Garron let her go and she
found herself lying on Truth’s bloody back, weeping uncontrollably. They were
gone now—both gone. She couldn’t feel either twin through the partial bond they
had formed. Her men were dead or about to be dead and she was all alone on an
alien world, eighty million light years from home.

Becca
didn’t know how long she cried—it seemed like ages before her tears ran dry and
she simply lay there, huddled beside the dark twin’s fallen body. She had never
felt more desolate or alone in her life. Truth and Far were gone and it was her
fault.
All her fault.

Though
she had never entertained thoughts of suicide before, even when Kenneth was
shot, now she wished she could die.
Well, just give me time,
she thought
bleakly as her hot tears cooled and then froze on her cheeks.
As cold as it
is, it shouldn’t take long.
She shivered but only a little. The frigid
weather wasn’t bothering her nearly as much as it had been. In fact, as strange
as it sounded, now that her tears were spent, she was beginning to feel sleepy.

From
far away, she heard the Ancient talking.

“This
judgment is over and you are all free to go,” he said.

There
were some grumbles of protest but one by one the Rai’ku males began to step
away from the clearing. From eyes still blurred by tears, Becca saw some of
them transform into the floating, flying
dr’gin
beasts while others
simply walked away into the night.

When
the last of them had left, Garron breathed a deep sigh.

“Thank
you, Ancient,” he said.

“I
am sorry things happened as they did,” the old man said. “But you have three
burdens to bear and there is only one of you. If you had a
dr’gin
within
I would say that you could fly them on your back. But as you do not, or at
least it still has not manifested—”

“I
will help.” A large form came out of the shadows and Becca saw it was a Kindred
of some kind. She didn’t know which kind until his eyes flashed golden in the
firelight.

Oh,
a Beast Kindred,
she thought, hardly interested at all. The cold was beginning
to make her feel sleepier and sleepier.

“I
will as well.” Another Kindred came forward. “Apologies, Brother,” he said to
Garron. “We didn’t hear of the attack on your lodge until well after it had
happened. The Rai’ku told us nothing.”

“That’s
because they knew we would’ve stopped them,” the first Kindred growled.
“Sometimes I wonder why we stayed on this benighted planet at all. If my mind
hadn’t aligned with a female from Pax…”

“Time
for that later,” the second Kindred said. “What can we do to help, Garron?”

“Can
each of you take a body?” Garron asked. “I will take charge of my brother’s
female as I swore to him I would. I need to get all of them to safety before
the pack change their minds and come back—all in their
dr’gin
forms this
time.”

“We
can.” The first Beast Kindred knelt beside Becca and moved her gently to one
side. “Forgive me, lady, but I must take your mate.”

“No,”
Becca protested but it came out as more of a whisper than a shout. She was so
cold now that she could barely move her lips—they felt numb, like all the rest
of her.

The
Beast Kindred stared at her with worry in his golden eyes.

“Garron,
this little female is freezing. If you truly wish to honor your promise to your
brother, you must take charge of her now.”

At
once Truth’s younger brother came to kneel in front of her.

“Becca?
Lady Becca?” he asked anxiously.

Becca
wanted to slap him or claw his eyes out but the best she could manage was to
glare at him.

“Hate
you,” she whispered. “Hate you…forever.”

“I
know.” Garron looked honestly remorseful. “I’m sorry.” He lifted her into his
arms and nodded at the two Kindred, who had hoisted Truth and Far over their
shoulders. “We have to go now. The Ancient’s clearing isn’t far from my lodge.
From there I can take them all in the hovertracker to get their shuttle in the
Forgotten Hollow.”

“I
don’t know if this one will make it that long,” the Kindred carrying Far said.
“What’s wrong with him?”

“S’reth
clawed him in
dr’gin
form,” Garron said grimly. “The poison had been in
his blood long enough for him to move from
stelsis
to
nadis,
I
think. He collapsed during the
Y’grin.”

The
Beast Kindred gave a long, low whistle. “That’s bad. The poison in his system—”

“Will
be leached out as soon as I can apply some antidote,” Garron said.

“You
have some of that? I thought only healers had it.” The Beast Kindred sounded
surprised. “Or males about to enter their first transformation who wanted to be
sure the female they chose didn’t get—”

“Shut
up, Rairn,” the other Kindred growled. “Think who you’re talking to.”

“Oh,
of course. Sorry, Brother,” the first Kindred said apologetically.

“No
apologies needed if you’ll just help us get back to my lodge on time,” Garron
growled. “Can the two of you run?”

“These
Twin Kindred are a heavy burden but we’re strong,” the second Kindred said.

“Good,
then run! My brother charged me with the safety of his female and his twin. If
either of them dies…” Garron didn’t finish the sentence. Becca wondered drowsily
why he cared if she died—
she
certainly didn’t. In fact, at this point
death would be a sweet release. Truth was already dead and Far was close
behind. Why should she go on?

Then
Garron started running and she must have blacked out because she didn’t remember
anything more.

Chapter Forty

 

In
her dream, Becca was making a bargain.

Please,
God,
she begged, her hands clasped before her, her knees sore from
kneeling.
Please save the men I love. I know what I did was wrong and I
accept the blame for it. But please don’t punish them for my sins. Please just
let them live and if you do, I swear I’ll give them both up and go back to the
convent. I swear I’ll never even look at them again. Please, please, I’m so
sorry…so sorry…

Look
at yourself,
whispered a soft voice—the voice of her guilt.
“What are you
doing with your life? How could you allow yourself to go so off track?”

“Forgive
me!”
Becca pleaded.
“I couldn’t help myself—I fell in love.”

“Just
like you did with Kenneth. You loved him too and look what happened.”

“He…he
died.”
Becca gulped back tears.
“He died and it was all my
fault—just like what happened with Truth and Far is all my fault.”

“It
is,"
whispered the little voice.
“How many times do you have to
repeat the same mistake, Becca? When will you learn your lesson?”

“I’ve
learned it now—I swear I have,”
Becca protested.
“Please—if only Truth
and Far could be okay, I would do anything—anything at all!”

“Anything?
Even leave them behind and never look back?”

“I…”
Becca
felt like she couldn’t breathe. Leave Far and Truth? Leave the men she loved
with all of her heart?

“Well?”
her
guilty conscience demanded.
“Answer the question—in exchange for their
lives, would you swear to never see either Truth or Far again?”

Becca
thought about it. In exchange for their lives. It would hurt them terribly if
she left, but at least they would be alive.

“I
swear it!”
she promised at last.
“Just let them live—let them be okay
and I’ll leave them. Please!”

“Well…”
the
little voice seemed to be considering.
“I suppose if you’re truly
repentant…”

“I
am! Oh, I am! Just let them be all right—please!”

“Very
well. They will be restored to life and health. But you must keep your word.”

“I
will,”
Becca promised fervently.
“I swear I will!”

“Good.
Then go but remember, Rebecca. Remember your promise…”

“Becca?
Lady Becca, are you well?”

The
voice broke through the fragile bubble of her dream, waking her and making her
aware that something was different. It took her a moment to realize that the
difference was she wasn’t cold anymore. In fact, she was toasty warm. Also, she
couldn’t move her arms or legs.

“What…?”
She looked around groggily. “Where am I? Why can’t I move?”

“You’re
aboard your shuttle.” The person speaking to her was Garron. He was looking
down at her anxiously, his turquoise eyes worried. “And you can’t move because
we put you in a heat cocoon to reverse the effects of the frostbite and
hypothermia you suffered.”

“What?”
Becca raised her head higher—it was the only part of her she could move—and
looked around the room which happened to be the main sleeping cabin of the
shuttle.
The same place you formed the bond with Truth and Far,
whispered
a voice in her head.
The bond you swore to break.

Becca
shook her head.
Why would I break the bond? I love Truth and Far.
Besides…there’s no bond to break anymore. Because they’re…they’re…
For a
moment her brain didn’t want to remember but then it came to her anyway.

Because
they’re dead.

The
realization hit her like a ton of bricks and suddenly she couldn’t breathe.

“Becca?
Are you well?” Garron sounded really worried now.

“No.
And I never will be again. Not after what you did.” Becca blinked, wishing she
could get her arms free to wipe her eyes. “Can’t you just leave me alone? I
know…know you did what you had to do to Truth but I can’t…can’t look at you
right now.”

“Lady
Becca, no—it’s going to be all right,” Garron assured her.

“I
don’t see how with everyone…everyone
dead
,” she whispered. “Did you at
least bring the bodies back? Or did you hang them in that horrible tree for the
birds and animals to eat?”

“That
was a lie to throw the Rai’ku off,” Garron protested. “I’m so sorry you had to
hear it. We were worried you might be upset—”

“Who’s
'we?'” she asked, dully. “You and the Beast Kindred who helped carry us?”

“Well,
last time I looked I’m no beast.” A tall figure was suddenly filling the
doorway.

Becca
stared at it uncertainly. “Far? But how…?”

“Garron
had an antidote to the poison in my system.” The light twin came over to her,
moving stiffly. There were shadows under his black eyes and blood still matted
his long blond hair but he was alive and that was all that mattered.

“Oh,
Far…” Becca’s eyes stung and her throat was suddenly tight. “I’m so glad you’re
all right. I was so afraid…afraid I’d lost you both. I…I’m so sorry about
Truth…”

“Why
are you sorry about me?” a familiar voice growled. A new figure filled the
doorway—Truth.

This
time Becca felt like her eyes were going to bulge from their sockets.
This
can’t be right. I must still be dreaming.
The idea bothered her for some
reason.
Dream…dream…something about a dream? What am I forgetting?
But
the worried feeling was easy to push away when Truth was standing right there
in front of her in the flesh and apparently alive. Except how could he be?

“You…you’re
dead,” she said flatly, still unable to believe what her eyes were telling her.
“I saw you die. Garron stabbed you with that horrible arm bayonet thing.”

“And
barely
missed my heart!” Truth rubbed the slice on his chest which was
still raw but no longer an open, bleeding wound. “I swear, Brother, you nearly
killed me for real!”

“Apologies,”
Garron said. “I had to convince everyone you were really dead—even Becca.” He
looked at Becca. “I’m sorry for the duplicity, lady—I couldn’t risk telling you
that Truth still lived with anyone around. The Rai’ku can fly silently and they
have spies everywhere. Forgive me for causing you such pain.”

“I…but
I…” Rebecca shook her head and tried to sit up but the heat cocoon—which looked
like a shiny silver blanket—was still wrapped around her too tightly for her to
move. “But how is this even possible?” she asked blankly, giving up and looking
at Truth. “I
saw
the blade go into your chest. I
saw
it come out
your back. I even felt the pain through our bond. And then I saw you…saw you…”

Suddenly
the tears came back, welling up and overflowing and Becca found she couldn’t
stop them.

“Rebecca!
Oh, sweetheart, no!” She had seldom seen Truth so upset. He came to sit on one
side of the bed and cup her cheek while Far came to sit on the other side and
stroke the hair out of her eyes.

Becca
sniffed, trying to get control of herself.

“Never
mind petting me—get me unwrapped so I can sit up. I feel like a giant silver
burrito in this damn thing!”

The
twins unwrapped her and she sat up at last. She wanted to reach for them but
something stopped her, even though she was desperate to feel if they were
really there, to make sure this wasn’t still a dream…
A dream,
whispered
a little voice in her head.
You had a dream…made a promise…

Becca
pushed it aside with some difficulty, telling herself she could think about it
later. She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes with a corner of the silver
heat blanket.

“Now
tell me what happened,” she demanded. “How could I have seen you get stabbed in
the heart and yet you’re still alive?”

“Twin
Kindred have self-sealing organs,” Truth explained. “It makes us very hard to
kill.”

“Self-sealing…what
does that mean?” Becca asked.

“They
knit together automatically. Any time there is any kind of puncture or injury,
a Twin Kindred’s organs immediately begin to repair themselves. It takes a
while and a serious wound can incapacitate them for a time but they
will
heal eventually,” Garron explained. He smiled wryly. “I found that out the hard
way, didn’t I, Brother?”

“You
surely did.” Truth smiled back. “We were playing with sharpened
stakes—pretending they were
ghats—
one day when we were children. Garron
got a little excited and actually ran me through.”

“I
thought Ama would die of fright,” Garron said. “And I was certain you were
dead—you lay so
still.”

“It
hurt a hell of a lot,” Truth said. “With a life threatening injury, the body
shuts down temporarily as mine did tonight—it aids the healing process.”

“So
that’s what you were talking about before you fought the
Y’grin
? The
fight you had when you were kids?” Becca looked from one to the other.

Truth
nodded and Garron said,

“I
am sorry we couldn’t be more forthcoming with you, Becca. But if the Rai’ku had
learned what we were planning…”

“They
would have killed us all and eaten us,” Truth finished grimly.

“Ugh!”
Becca gave a shiver of involuntary disgust. “How could they?”

“It’s
the
dr’gin
within them—it craves flesh,” Garron said quietly.

“I
still don’t understand.” Becca shook her head. “Why couldn’t I at least feel
you through our bond? I understand about Far—he was out for the count because
of the poison. But you…you could have at least sent me some kind of feeling or
something
.
Seeing you…thinking you were…were dead was horrible. Just like Kenneth all over
again but ten times worse!”

“I
am truly sorry, Rebecca,” Truth said earnestly. “But as I said, my body shut
down for a while. I was joking with Garron earlier but I really do think he
might have nicked my heart—I was unconscious while my body made repairs so I
was unable to send you anything.”

“All
right.” Becca nodded slowly. “But what about the Rai’ku? Wouldn’t they know you
could survive being impaled? I mean, if it happened before, back when you were
a kid?”

The
dark twin shook his head. “Our ama hushed it up. Other than my apa—my father—I
was the only full blooded Twin Kindred on Pax. It was just another way I was
different and she didn’t
want
me to be different.”

“Plus,
nothing says bad parenting like letting one of your children impale another,”
Far murmured. “I’m certain she wasn’t eager for anyone to know of what happened
for any reason.”

“You’re
probably right,” Garron said. “Ama always was very concerned about appearances.
She…hid many things.” His turquoise eyes darkened and Becca guessed he was thinking
of Feels Pain and the abuse they had been subjected to as children.

Truth
must have sensed the same thing.

“That
is over now, Brother,” he said gently, reaching up to put a hand on Garron’s arm.
“You need never think of it again now that you are leaving Pax behind.”

“Have
we left, then?” Becca looked at them, bewildered. “But…what about the cache?
What about finding the truthonium amulet thingy to heal the unmated males?”

“Oh,
we have that. Do you wish to see it?” Garron asked eagerly. He was up and out
of the room before she could answer. He reappeared carrying a dull metal box
about the size of a small footlocker. “Behold….” He opened it with a flourish
and held it out for Becca to see.

“Ohhhhh,”
she breathed. Lying in the center of the box, on a thick layer of some black,
velvety material, was the most amazing piece of jewelry she had ever seen.

It
was hanging on a plain red cord that had nearly rotted away—no surprise since
it had been buried for two thousand years, Becca thought. But the amulet itself
was perfectly intact. It was made of a gleaming, opalescent metal that made
even the brightest diamonds or the most highly burnished platinum seem dull in
comparison.

“It’s
beautiful,” Becca whispered at last. “But…what shape is it?” Because though she
stared and stared, she couldn’t be sure what the amulet was supposed to be. At
first it had looked like a heart, then a star, then a perfect spiral which
seemed to circle in on itself forever. Trying to decipher it was beginning to
give her a headache and yet she found she couldn’t look away.

“We’re
not sure,” Garron said. “It seems to change.”

“But
how…how did you get it?” Becca felt hypnotized, almost drugged by the beautiful
alien thing.

“I
found the coordinates in Truth’s handheld device,” Garron explained. “And since
we had to wait a little while for the antidote to take hold in Far’s system, I
got the Kindred warriors who brought the three of you to my lodge to help me
dig. We found it very quickly—I don’t know where you got your new coordinates
but they were extremely accurate.”

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