Divine and Dateless (30 page)

Stumbling out my door, I tried to ignore the shouting and pounding of feet down the hall. Though Boner had warned me we occasionally had ghosting drills, I didn't realize they'd have one on my first night. How rude! I hadn't even had any ghosting lessons yet. I made my way to the bathroom and shut the door behind me. After last night's encounter with Sarge, I'd made the mistake of forgoing my bathroom visit and rushing back to my bedroom. Now my bladder felt like it was about to explode.

It was really hard to focus on peeing with Jack whimpering beside me and those damn strobe lights and alarm bells pulsating inside my head. Did every room in the house have to have them? I made a mental note to disconnect the ones in my bedroom. The ten thousand other alarms going off in the house were sufficient.

I washed my hands and face, and attempted to tamp down my ball of frizz with some water and a bottle of hair gel I found in the cabinet. The alarms kept blaring as Jack and I trudged down the creaky staircase.

I found the rest of my squad lined up in front of the elevator in the common room. I chuckled under my breath at the look of panic in Boner's eyes when he saw me coming. I tried not to look in Sarge's direction, even though I could feel his dark gaze boring into me.

"Fall in line, recruit!" he boomed.

I rolled my eyes as I stood beside Basil at the end of the line with Jack by my side. Basil was completely transfixed by a spot on the wall in front of her, gawking at it as if it was her favorite soap opera.

Thankfully, the sirens finally stopped blaring, but it was followed by a disconcerting silence. I peered down the other ghosters. Everyone stood at attention as Sarge, dressed in starched military camos, walked down the line, giving slow nods of approval. Boner's shirt was tucked into pants that were practically pulled waist high, and his shoulder-length hair was slicked back into a knot. Even Crow had abandoned his cane and was standing somewhat erect.

Sarge's silver leg scraped the floor, the sound slicing through my nerves like a blade as he worked his way toward me. A ball of tension imploded in my chest, the fallout trickling down, forcing me to clutch my gut. I had no idea why I was suddenly worried over being inspected by a pompous asshole. Jack's low whine did little to soothe me. Even my big, snarling protector was afraid of the jerk. What chance did I have?

By the time he finished commending everyone else in line, his sharp gaze finally settled on me. "What took you so long to get your ass down here, recruit?" he said with a stiff jaw.

I reminded myself if Sarge was too much of a dick, Shadow had said I could go live at Alpha house. Anything had to be better than being mentally tortured by a guy I wanted to fuck, right? Except that Alpha house had felt cold and unwelcoming, not to mention totally dog-unfriendly.

"I was getting ready." I spoke through a disinterested sigh while focusing my gaze on a spec of grime beneath my fingernail. I refused to let this asshole know how much he got to me.

"Getting ready?" His scowl deepened as he leaned into me, forcing me to arch back.

I caught scent of his woodsy cologne, which should have been named Horny in a Bottle, because his scent had all my pheromone alarm bells ringing.

I shrugged, looking away again, not wanting him to see how his nearness affected me. "I had to pee, and my hair was frizzy."

Without asking, he invaded my personal space and brushed a hand through my hair. He brought his fingers to his nose and inhaled before flashing an accusatory glare. "Is that
my
hair gel?"

"It was in
my
bathroom," I snapped, annoyed at the gasps down the line. They might have thought it was okay to let Sarge push them around, but I'd been intimidated enough by guys like him in my first life. I wasn't going to take any of their shit in this one.

"So let me get this straight. Your hair made you late." His deep baritone rose an octave with each syllable, in contrast to the needle on his stud-o-meter, which was dropping by the second. He waved a hand at his feet while rolling his eyes. "All I had to do was slap on a leg and my uniform in under a minute. I could see why something so debilitating as frizzy hair would prevent you from reporting to a major supernatural catastrophe."

Swallowing the venom in his sarcasm was like digesting a carton of sour lemons. "Okay, I get it. I’ll be on time next time."

He leaned so close we were practically nose-to-nose. The heat from his virile body set my hormones on fire and my mind into a rage. I didn't know if I wanted to kiss or smack him.

Jack's low growl brought me back to reality. There was no doubting my dog wanted to bite the sergeant. Somehow, I didn't think that would work out so well for any of us. I stroked the top of his head in an effort to soothe him.

Luckily, Sarge was too busy chewing my ass to acknowledge my dog. "You will be on time every time, Ms. MacLeod, or you will find yourself a new ghosting squad. I will not let you put a blemish on this squad’s perfect thirteen-year record. Do I make myself clear?" His voice boomed louder and rattled my nerves harder than a thousand blaring sirens.

I crossed my arms and flashed a broad smile, willing him to read the meaning behind my cool glare. "Perfectly."

After we were dismissed, Basil spun around me in a swish of skirts. "Next time, flutter like a butterfly or soar like a rocket ship," she said, waving her hands above her and waltzing into the other room.

"Or next time I clean the toilet with Sarge's toothbrush," I mumbled.

Boner walked a wide circle around me as he hastened toward the exit. I had to chase him into the hallway and grab onto the side of his Tshirt before he'd face me.

"Now what?" I asked, not even bothering to mask my annoyance. At no time during my tour had anyone warned me our leader was the commando from Hell.

"Now we all go back to sleep," he mumbled as he tried to scoot away.

Great. I guess I was the squad pariah because I'd actually had the guts to stand up to the tyrant.

"Do we get these freaking drills every night?" I hissed.

"We get them whenever Alpha House decides to set off the alarm," he said sheepishly as he tried to scoot away again.

He could play the defenseless little lamb all he wanted. He wasn't leaving until all my questions were answered. "How do I know when it’s the real thing?"

"The elevator would have opened."

"And then we just go scare people?"

"Something like that." He shrugged, his gaze dropping to my bare feet. "You know, you shouldn't talk to Sarge that way. It's gonna make it hard for all of us."

Wow. I had no idea this Sarge guy had such a hold on these people. Too bad, because I thought Boner and I could be friends, but maybe not if they expected me to join the lemming parade. I’d never been good at conforming. Sad, because if they expected me to kiss Sarge's ass, I might not be a good fit for the Delta Squad after all.

"PT’s at five thirty." Sarge's rumbling voice echoed in my ear as he passed by. "I suggest you show up on time."

My jaw practically hit the floor as I stared after that tight ass in camouflage for maybe a bit longer than was necessary. Jerk or not, the guy still had nice buns.

But wait. Had he said PT? As in exercise? At the freaking crack of dawn? Oh, hell no! Me and exercise weren't compatible until way after coffee-thirty and right before margarita o'clock. I was starting to understand why Grim hadn't wanted me taking this job. It wasn't just dangerous. It was a downright health hazard!

No sooner had I fallen back to sleep, than a blaring whistle forced me to shoot up in bed.

“Rise and shine, recruit,” Sarge’s booming voice reverberated in my skull like a million banging drums. “Shit, shower, and shave and report in thirty.”

I frowned, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. “Huh?”

He whistled directly into my eardrum.

I scrambled to the other side of the bed. “Okay, okay. I’m up already.”

After my tormentor marched out of my room, and I’d soothed my whining dog, I stumbled out of bed and headed for the shower. Today was going to be a long freaking day.

I finished in the bathroom in record time and was sitting alongside Boner and Crow at the kitchen counter, scarfing down rice cereal and slurping strong coffee while Jack ate a bowl of leftovers. I had no idea why I felt the need to rush when I should have just gone back to bed… after I’d told Sarge to go fuck himself.

I was afraid Sarge would make good on his promise and assign me to a new ghosting squad. Though I knew following Major Dickhead’s orders was going to be hard, really hard, what choice did I have? Go back to my apartment and work in the slums? Transfer to Alpha House? What if their sergeant was worse? Shadow already creeped the socks off me, and he didn’t seem to care for Jack. At least Sarge hadn’t told me my dog wasn’t allowed. That, I decided, would be the final straw. As long as Jack was welcome, I was going to put on my big girl panties and tough it out.

After breakfast, Jack and I followed Crow and Boner into the common room and got in line. I stood stiff as a board, just like Boner did. I’d even tucked my SIA T-shirt into my gym shorts and tied a double knot in my shoelaces. I was fairly certain that’s how they did things in the military. I tilted my chin, repressing a grin when Sarge walked into the room with a purposeful stride.

Let’s see you complain about me now, asshole.

Basil whirled into the room with her arms extended, spinning circles around us while pretending to be an airplane.

I cringed when Sarge glared at her. I hoped she didn’t blow it for the rest of us.

“Nice work, Ms. Basil.” Sarge bellowed. “You may go back to bed.”

Basil made a few sputtering noises before whirling out of the room.

My mouth fell open. “Why does
she
get to go to sleep?”

He spun around fast, charging me like he was an angry bull, and I was a bright red flag. “How I run my platoon is none of your damn concern. Do I make myself clear?”

My dog’s low growl strengthened my resolve. Jack had always been a good judge of character. Clearly this dude was an asshole and needed to be taken down a level.

“Not really.” Okay, a little fault of mine that has probably already been made painfully clear. I had this real bad habit of letting my mouth get me into trouble. It’s how I’d lost my first three paralegal jobs, and it would have cost me my job at Schwartz, Parker, and Boone had my boss not enjoyed staring at my tits so much.

Sarge leaned into me so close I could smell his minty breath. I arched back, hoping to put some distance between his fresh breath and my stale coffee residue.

“I went over your files last night, MacLeod. Looks like we’ve got ourselves a level two stowaway. You must think you’re real special, recruit, talking a Grim into giving up his credits.” He scowled as he smirked down at my chest. “Don’t think those tits of yours are going to get you any favors here.”

I gasped and stepped back. “How rude!”

“Rude? After I get through with you, rude will be the least of your problems.” He spoke through a jaw so stiff, I was surprised he could get any words out. “This squad has a thirteen year perfect track record. That might not mean much to someone who hasn’t earned her way to the top, but it means a lot to me, and I’ll be damned if I let you and your tits ruin it. There will be no favors here, recruit. You will show up for PT on time. The only answers out of your mouth are to be ‘yes, sir’ and ‘no, sir.’ If those conditions are not amenable to you, I will assign you to a new squadron.”

I sucked in a sharp gasp, realizing I’d been holding my breath during his tirade. My dog’s high-pitched cry didn’t do much to restore my waning confidence.

“Well?” He arched a thick brow, eyeing me head to toe with a deep scowl as if I had a case of the plague. “Do I reassign you?”

I vehemently shook my head, hating myself for allowing him to bring me so low. “No, sir.”

A slow grin stretched across his face. The kind of grin that made little kids hide behind their mother’s skirts or a grown man break into a cold sweat. “Good. Let’s see what you’re made of.”

I started off my glorious morning running laps around an obstacle course set up in the forest behind our house. I scaled walls, hopped over a few logs, but mostly I just ran.