Documentary (37 page)

“Not a boy band. Just a band! We played ins
truments!” he shouted playfully, wriggling his fingers in the air as a threat. “Say it.”

“Truce! Truce!”
Out of breath from laughing, Dylan said, “You swore on Sable you were going to be nice to me! Okay! Okay! A band…with boys. A boy…band.” She grabbed both his wrists before he had a chance to tickle her again, but a shiver skidded down her stomach when they were both quiet. Dylan stared at his lips, wanting to reach out and touch them.

She saw Kai’s gaze skate
up from her exposed stomach to her chest for a few seconds before he smiled uncomfortably and freed his hands from her grip.  Before he could sit up, Dylan pressed her hand to the back of his neck. Balancing on her other forearm, she pushed up and kissed him then dropped down to the mattress. It was an impulsive move, just a brush of a kiss, stemming purely from the need to feel the warmth of his mouth. It would cause more confusion than she was probably prepared for but, in that moment, it was the only way to make whatever was happening in her chest to go away. Except it didn’t. It made it rage more.

A look of turmoil crossed Kai’s face for a flash
, but then he lowered his mouth to hers. His hands slipped into her hair, and Dylan parted her lips as his skimmed just her top lip before their mouths met in a deeper, but just as delicate, way. Kai’s body sunk down against hers, and she locked him in with her legs as she pushed his shirt up at the sides, wanting to pull it off. Kai’s fingers eased up beneath her shorts and slipped into her underwear just for a second, but he stopped suddenly and buried his face in her shoulder. She hated that he had stopped, especially because her body felt like a lit match, but she understood why. They were trapped in the purgatory of the fantasy of tonight and the reality of tomorrow. He rolled off her and crashed to his back before beckoning her to come back to his shoulder.

After Dylan complied
following a sigh, Kai hugged her against him. “No worrying. Let’s just enjoy this. I want to be just like this with you. I have you here now. And now feels perfect.”

Dylan awoke alone with her body throbbing with heat, like a hunger, still wound up from before. She kicked the covers off as she soaked in the reverie of having spent the very early morning with Kai. The daylight filling the room indicated that it was past dawn.
When had she fallen asleep? When had he left?
She smiled when she remembered his re-telling of his favorite concert as she studied his hardened fingertips, the sign of a veteran guitar player. Or when he traced the scar on the inside of her right knee from her adolescent tree climbing days. Dylan had always felt a kind of inner nakedness between them, and sometimes the exposure was too raw, but last night it had eased into a sense of comforting vulnerability. She was starting to recognize that maybe Kai was worth the risk. The risk of letting herself be happy again without guilt.

She sighed into the pillow
, loving that it smelled like him. She reflected on kissing him impetuously, and the feeling of that brief, relatively tame kiss was still lingering like the embers after a doused fire. Being with him like that again had churned up a lot of feelings that were buried shallowly inside her. Maybe it was the sudden break in their mutual adherence to staying away from each other. Sure, she could’ve handled how she felt by herself by staying in bed a little while longer, but she had other more appealing ideas.

Dylan got out of bed, and s
he made several pit stops on the way to his room: first, the bathroom to freshen up, then at her luggage for a cuter pair of underwear and tee. The time was mostly spent bolstering her confidence. Was she really about to do this? Dylan walked down the hall and knocked on his door just in time for her heart to plummet to her feet. When he opened it and his gaze landed on her, a small knot pressed up from her stomach to her throat, growing to the size of an orange on the way.

“Hey, Dyl…what’s up?” He was shirtless, skin glistening with sweat, and she noticed he was wearing workout gloves. Kai patted his body with one of the hotel towels. Sometimes when they filmed in his room, there would be a
movable chin-up bar affixed to the top of the bathroom door’s frame. He tapped his hard stomach absently with his palm to an irregular beat before he pulled the gloves off, and tossed it and the towel to the ground.

She opened her mouth, unsure of what to say. She stared at him in silence, not feeling like the sexually secure and confident woman she had come over here to be. He was making her nervous in a way he hadn’t since they first met. Her pulse was beating away violently in her ears, and she huffed out a few breaths. Kai looked at her
with suspicion, furrowing his brow in his perplexed silence. His eyes fell to her flimsy tee, and when he looked up, he was serious, almost apologetic. Almost.

“I guess I get to chase you for once,” she said, finally. Dylan drew her thumb down his abs, and Kai’s body contracted as he shuddered softly.

He looked down at her hand. When he looked up, his eyes were wide, and he swallowed several times before a skeptical smirk yanked his lips taut. “You mean that?” Dylan nodded slowly, drawing her thumb down again.

Kai grinned big
and moaned softly. “Get in here.” She pushed into the room, threw her arms around his neck and smashed her mouth on his. Kai suddenly lifted her and she pulled her legs around his waist. Their kissing was rough, voracious, like neither would ever be sated until they devoured each other, and definitely not like the timid one from before. Kissing him always felt freeing, always felt like they were doing the inevitable, something meant to be. If every complex explanation were peeled away, leaving just the pure, plain emotion, it would be that it just felt right. 

They fell against a wall, and her shoulders
shifted one of the paintings. Dylan scratched at the back of his neck as Kai squeezed her butt over her shorts, pulling her against his growing erection. He pushed his ravenous hand under her shirt as she stripped it off, revealing her black cotton bra. Once her arms were back around his neck, Kai braced himself with his palms on the wall at either side of her head. He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth before he pressed his lips to her neck, making the sensitivity developing between her legs pulsed.

Kai spun and set her down on the large wooden desk.  She pressed her lips to his chest; it was everything she had imagined. Solid surface. Soft skin. Slightly salty from the sweat. She felt the vibrations of Kai’s groans when she licked down between his pecs.

Kai gripped her shoulders and sucked in air between his rows of teeth as he gave her a gentle push back, severing the contact between them. She stared up at his questioning expression before pulling him toward her by the band of his shorts. Kai took in a big breath when she dipped her hand inside down the front. He was rock hard against her palm. He dropped his hands on her knees, clawing into her skin slightly.

“Okay, wha
t are you saying exactly?” Kai licked the bottom half of his subtle smile, and her eyes couldn’t pull away from his lips. Thinking about them all over her skin sent cold shivers to every nerve in her body.

“You’re suddenly okay with sneaking around? I find that hard to believe…
even though I really, really want to believe.” He stepped back just outside her arm’s length, and she felt an increase in the desperate need to have him touch her again. Kai turned away. “Won’t this mess things up for you? I don’t want to do that. You were right about this having consequences for you. As much as I want this…”

             
Dylan reached for his hand and pulled him back. “I know what kind of decision I’m making. You said what we had was perfect in the now. I still want that.” As soon as she said it, she wasn’t even sure what that meant going forward. So did that mean this was a one-time deal?
Like friends with a benefit? Not plural, just singular?
A pinch in her stomach said otherwise, almost as a signal that she couldn’t be more wrong. Her feelings for him definitely existed, and she had done a lackluster job of keeping them at bay. Sex would unleash the full potential. And deep down, she knew that’s where the real consequences lay.

“Not to kill the romance, and we’re definitely using a condom, but when was the last time you got tested?” she asked. “I do it once a year with my annual. Everything. Negatives across the board.”

“Me and boys went in November. Same. Are we good?” Dylan nodded, and Kai leaned down to kissed her. After his tongue parted her lips, they both yanked down his shorts. He lifted her torso over his shoulder, and Dylan giggled loudly when they collapsed to the bed. When Kai tickled her navel with his tongue, she laughed more and ruffled his hair. He held her arms tight to her sides and licked her bellybutton until she was almost hysterical.

“I’m never
gonna get tired of hearing that, you know,” Kai said. “Never.”

Dylan lifted her hips to tug her shorts off. He pulled them the rest of the way down and then over her feet. It thrilled her the way he looked at her with so much unreserved desire in his eyes, like he was completely on board with making this worth it. It turned her on, knowing that she had the same effect on him that he had on her, but worry flickered right on the edges of her excitement. They wanted each other too much, and this would never be enough.

Kai pulled her on top of him, and she whipped her tongue up his torso. He gripped her arms and moaned loudly in pleasure, before she straddled his body. He reached his hands around her and unfastened her bra, sliding the straps down her arms. She was about to lean and kiss him, when they made eye contact. The way he stared up at her made her gulp down hard. His look pushed the surrounding room away for a second and released a round of fluttering in her stomach. There was raging need in his gaze but something else was swimming beneath it. Neither of them blinked, nor did their eyes stray.
This is emotional yearning. I feel it. He feels it. Sex is going to make it worse.
Yet, she still couldn’t properly dissuade herself.

Because I want him so much.
As Dylan cupped his face with one hand, she smoothed his eyebrows down and traced the contours of his bone structure with the other. She thought of the beautiful soul he was opening up to the world, the faces he made when he was scribbling down lyrics, the happiness bouncing in his eyes when he connected with his fans.
I want the worse too.

“Everything okay?” he asked, running his fingers down her bare torso. Scooting her back to his legs, he sat up and they were
nearly chest-to-chest. He kissed the corner of her mouth, setting off a rush of heat down her back. Kai kissed her forehead then pulled back to study her face.

Dyl
an smiled. “Absolutely.” She pushed him backward and flattened the backs of his hands against the mattress before planting a frenzy of kisses on his neck and collarbone until Kai’s grunts were reduced to short, pointed breaths.

Flipping her, he crawled over top of her, locking her into his gaze for a moment. She started to ask him what he was thinking, but his gaze drifted down her body. His fingers followed and pressed gently into her skin along the expanse from her chest to her hips, like he was intent on memorizing the exact shape and feel of her body. It was sexy to be touched so gently, so delicately, to not feel rushed or that finishing was the main goal.

“You’re not going to start singing ‘Your Body Is a Wonderland,’
are you?” she whispered teasingly.

Kai met her eyes
and laughed hard. “I was thinking about it.” He kissed her torso. “You’re beautiful, you know. Dressed.
Almost
naked. Naked is going to be really fucking good.”

“Not so bad yourself, Rock Star,” she whispered back as his mouth landed on one of her nipples, and he licked it slowly. The jolt of pleasure forced out a sharp moan, and Dylan arched her back, pushing her body up
to him. Keeping his hands on her torso, he licked down her stomach until he hit the top of her underwear. Kai held her hips, and all her muscles tightened when his lips touched her right inner thigh, but she opened her legs more. Kai kept his eyes pinned to hers when his fingers folded inside her underwear and pulled them to the side. Dylan bit her lip in anticipation, still clenching everything, as the brush of his tongue hit. She pushed her hips into him, his tongue moved faster, and she saw him watching her writhe until her eyes rolled back. A wave of ecstasy built within her, rolling up from her toes, and she had to claw his hair into her fist just to still feel grounded to the earth. Dylan raised her hips when he stopped to take her panties off. After he tossed them, he sat up on his haunches.

“Something wrong?” she asked, sitting up too. Her entire body pulsated with eagerness for him to touch her again, and her legs were quivering.

Kai smiled mischievously. “Are you kidding?” He didn’t waste any more time before he slid a finger into her while another touched the outside. When she collapsed back against the mattress, he moved up with her, until they were face-to-face, and he was balancing his weight on his other arm with his hand near her ear. Biting down on her lip, Dylan tempered her moans against the pleasurable motions of his fingers even as the pressure inside her built. She had never had a guy watch her like he did, and she felt vulnerable about reacting uncontrollably to his touch but still safe enough to let go.