Dom X - The Complete Box Set: Alpha Male Romance (9 page)

I
usually prided
myself on being a fairly even-headed person. I rarely lost my temper, rarely even got annoyed enough for anyone to notice. The nurses and doctors at the San Antonio Medical Center counted on me to be able to deal with problematic patients without reacting. I counted on myself for that too. And to deal with my parents with infinite patience.

Except all of that was slipping. I'd worked four ten-hour shifts since Sunday, and even exhausted, I hadn't been able to sleep well at all when I'd gotten home. In fact, the last good night of sleep I had was at Tanner's house, right after we'd broken up. We'd taken my things back to my apartment, then packed the things he kept at my place. It was all done without any drama. We'd said our goodbyes then and promised to still keep in touch.

That was the last drama-free day I'd had. Now, I was half-way through the week and all I wanted to do was call Tanner and ask him if our change of relationship allowed for him to still offer me some stress relief when I needed it.

I wouldn't do it, not when things had ended so well between us, but I'd spent the last four years knowing I could go to him and hand over control. Knowing that he'd take care of me. Now, however, I had to take care of myself. I wasn't going to use him for sex. I wasn't that sort of woman, even if he would be okay with it.

I kicked off my shoes as soon as I stepped inside, then started stripping off my clothes as I headed for the bathroom. I was more frustrated and tired than hungry since I'd gotten something to eat at work. Right now, I wanted nothing more than a hot bath where I could forget about everything.

I used my favorite lavender-scented bubble bath and let the tub run while I set out towels and then poured myself half a glass of wine. I didn't indulge often, but after the past couple days, I felt like I needed all the help I could get.

I sighed as I sank into the tub, letting the bubbles and water cover me. I leaned back and closed my eyes, trying to empty my mind.

Easier said than done.

To no surprise, the conversations with my parents were at the forefront of my mind. After my discussion with Mom on Saturday as I was leaving the hospital, things had only gotten worse. My words hadn't reassured her enough. She'd decided to go by the bar, see if he was drinking there. Of course he was and she'd tried to get him to leave. He'd refused and there'd been a fight right there. They'd both gotten kicked out, but things hadn't ended there. They'd argued in the parking lot when she tried to stop him from driving. Finally, the bartender had called a cab, and Dad had been driven home.

Of course, all of this was on a very long voicemail she'd left for me while I was busy saying my goodbyes to Tanner. So between putting away all of my things and getting ready for work on Sunday, I'd had the pleasure of calling my mother back and listening to her repeat all of it. With a bonus. She added in how Dad still wasn't returning her calls and he wouldn't let her in when she went by to see if he was okay.

Sadly, things continued going downhill since then. Usually, the two of them were amicable, if annoyed at each other. They rarely interacted. I was always the go-between, delivering Mom's messages to Dad, taking care of him on her behalf. Once in a while, however, I couldn’t get there fast enough or even I couldn't stop the pressure that had built between the two of them.

This week was one of those times.

I'd spent time between my long shifts fielding calls from both my parents. Dad telling me to tell Mom to back off. That they weren't married anymore. He was an adult. He could do what he wanted.

That was true, but Mom countered by citing his behavior, particularly his drinking. She claimed that he’d end up hurting himself; told me to tell him that he would do more damage to the family than he already had.

Both of them made good points, but they were both my parents. And I loved them equally. Even though I sometimes hated them too.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, then opened my eyes and reached for my glass of wine. This shouldn't be how things went. They were parents, and I was only twenty-four. They were supposed to be my rocks. The people I leaned on when I needed counsel and comfort. I shouldn't have to be the go-between. I shouldn't have to be the adult for them.

I sighed and scrubbed my hand over my face. My throat felt tight and my eyes burned. My emotions had gone through the wringer lately. I tried blaming it on lack of sleep. Breaking up with Tanner. Even my parents. All of those things were part of it, but if I were completely honest, I would have to admit that it actually started earlier than that.

When I realized X wasn't just leaving the hospital, but that he was leaving the entire state.

I wondered how he was doing, and I'd done that from time to time with other patients. Except this was different. It wasn't some faint musing. It was more a concern, a hoping that he'd moved past his anger and was coming to accept his new reality. I knew it was a long-shot, especially after the way he behaved the last time I'd seen him, but I wanted him to be okay. I
needed
it.

X was still on my mind some time later when I finally climbed out of the tub and headed for the bedroom. It wasn't until I was dressed and already climbing into bed when I saw that I had a missed call.

I almost didn't check it, not wanting to be drawn into whatever new shit my parents had come up with. But guilt – as usual – won out and I reached for my phone. I frowned when I saw the number. Neither of my parents and not a number I recognized.

I went to voicemail and my heart skipped a beat when I realized who called.

“Nurse Prinz, this is Father O'Toole. I know we didn't speak much, but the times I did have the privilege, I could tell you were someone who cares about her patients. I'd like to speak with you about X, if at all possible.”

My chest tightened as all the worst possible reasons for this call came pouring forward. My hands were actually shaking as I called the priest back, not even thinking about the time until he picked up.

“Sh – I mean, sorry, Father. I forgot about the time difference.”

A warm chuckle came over the phone. “Miss Prinz, I assume?”

“Yes, sir. I just got your message and I'd completely forgotten that you were a couple hours ahead.”

“Don't worry about it,” he said. “I sleep so little these days.”

There was a moment of silence, and I wondered if that was something new since X had arrived.

“You called?” I prompted.

“Yes, dear.”

I could hear the smile and found myself smiling in response, some of my tension easing. He wouldn't be so calm and collected if something bad happened to X.

“I was wondering if I might impose on you for a huge favor.”

Now I was curious. “And what's that?”

“Is there any way I could convince you to take a vacation out here?”

I blinked, confused. “I don't understand.”

He sighed and there was sadness in the sound. “I had hoped once X was home and in a familiar place, his attitude would change, but if anything, he's gotten worse. I tried getting him to set up appointments for doctors here, but he insisted he was fine. I hired a nurse and a physical therapist to come to the house. Hired a cleaning staff. As of right now, only one of them is left.”

I closed my eyes, shaking my head. “What did he do?”

The priest laughed. “The fact that you know him well enough to ask that tells me I made the right choice calling you.” His voice sobered. “He assures me that he only intended to fire the nurse, but he also managed to scare the entire housekeeping staff in the process.”

“Shit,” I muttered.

“Yes, that is precisely what I wanted to say.”

Heat flooded my face. “Sorry, Father.”

“Trust me, I've heard much worse. From X most recently.”

I didn't doubt it. “I'm sorry to hear he isn't doing well.” I hoped he couldn't hear just how much that bothered me. “But I'm not sure I understand what this has to do with me coming to Philadelphia on vacation.”

Or maybe I just didn't want to try to understand.

“I know there were a lot of nurses and doctors who worked on X, but you were something special.”

“He said that?” The thought pleased me more than it probably should have.

“Not in so many words,” Father O'Toole admitted. “But I saw him when he was around you. He was – well, not back to normal, but...softer, I guess.”

“And you want me to come out and talk to him?” I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about that request. And I definitely wasn't sure how I felt about the conflict of emotions colliding inside of me at the thought.

“Unless you're looking for a job,” he said wryly.

I didn't believe in fate or destiny or any of that stuff, but in that moment, it was almost like something inside me clicked into place.

“You're not, are you?” he asked, his tone suddenly more serious.

I didn't know why my silence prompted him to ask, but now that he had, it was out there and needed a response.

Except I didn't know what that response was supposed to be.

“Here's the thing,” Father O'Toole continued. “Since X has pretty much scared away everyone I hired, there's no one to keep an eye on him as I stay in the city most days and nights. I need someone to care for the house, most likely prepare meals as the chef hasn't called me back, and I need a person to check on X's medical progress.”

I already had my excuse prepared. There was no way a priest could afford to pay me what I'd need to live in Philadelphia. Then I realized he'd said
house
. And that he'd already had several people employed there.

What the hell?

“To skip through the questions,” he said. “I have an estate that I've given to X. Should you wish details, I'll be happy to provide them. What you need to know at the moment, however, is that I am offering you a full-time job to be a live-in caretaker here in Philadelphia. You will have the top floor to yourself. Full healthcare, dental, vision. And I'll give you twice what you're making now.”

“You don't know what I make,” I said without thinking.

“Doesn't matter,” the priest said. “It's worth it if you can save him from himself.”

But no pressure.

I
tilted
my head back and let the sun warm my face. It had been so long since I felt it, I sometimes wondered if I'd imagined what it was like. I closed my eyes and soaked in the heat, feeling it caress my bare arms and chest as well. I breathed deep, enjoying the scents of the outside. I'd been inside for too long. I'd missed this so much.

The tranquility was shattered by a scream. Followed by another. And another.

I looked around, adrenaline flooding through me. Someone was in danger.

Except, when I found the source of the screams, the people were all looking at me. Horror, disgust, fear. I saw it all on their faces.

“Monster!” The little girl pointed at me.

The words came at me from all sides, raining down everywhere I turned.

“Freak!”

“Monster!”

I turned in a circle, searching for some kind of escape. But there were none. They were surrounding me, closing in on me. Screaming. Shouting.

I covered my head with my hands, falling to my knees. I just wanted it to stop, wanted them to leave me alone. I only wanted to be outside, to not have to hide in the dark anymore.

When the first rock hit me, it didn't even hurt. Then more came, and with them came the pain. I whimpered, cried out, asked them to stop. I begged for them to stop. I couldn't fight back. There were too many of them. And I was just me. Not even me anymore. I was less than I had been. Less than a man.

Then the pain stopped and there were arms around me. Gentle arms. Not hurting.

“Shh. It's okay.”

It was a woman's voice.

A voice I knew.

“It's okay, X. I've got you.”

“Nori.” Her name came out like a sob as I turned toward her, burying my face in the crook of her neck.

She ran a hand through my hair, then down the side of my neck. Her fingers moved across the scar tissue, but I didn't mind. She'd seen it before, touched it. She wouldn't be disgusted. Would she?

“You're not a monster, X.” She addressed my fear before I could give it voice. “You're not a monster. You're a hero. You save lives.”

I shook my head. “No. I don't. People die around me. It's my fault. I deserve this.”

“No, baby, you didn't.” Her hand cupped my chin, raising my head until I was looking at her.

She was even more beautiful than I remembered, and the compassion on her face made my heart ache.

“Why are you here?” I asked.

“For you.” She put her hand on my cheek, the side with the scars. “I'm here for you, baby.”

My hand went over hers and I closed my eyes as I leaned into her touch. I hadn't been touched like that in a long time. By a woman...never. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't quite believe that she was here for me.

“What do you want, Nori?” I couldn't even look at her when I asked it.

“You.” Her mouth brushed against mine. “I want you, X.”

I groaned, my hand sliding up her arm to the back of her head. I knew I should wait, should stop. But I wanted her so much, and she was right there, smelled so good. I pulled her toward me even as I moved toward her.

Our mouths crashed together, and there was no hesitation as I claimed her. Her arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me down onto her as she leaned backward. I eased us down onto the soft grass that wasn't grass anymore, but soft cotton sheets. I didn't care about that though. All I cared about were the lips moving with mine, the body beneath mine.

I took my time with her, exploring her mouth with my tongue even as I ran my hands down her sides, over her hips. She tasted like light and air. Like life. And I needed all of that. All of her.

My mouth moved from hers and trailed down her jaw. She whimpered, then gasped as I nipped at her throat.

“Do that again,” I ordered, my voice rough. “Make that sound again.”

I bit down, sucking on her skin until she writhed even as she did as I asked. The noises coming from her made something dark and primal uncoil inside me. I needed her naked, needed to feel her bare skin. I pulled at her clothes, seams splitting and cloth tearing under my greedy hands.

Her breasts filled my palms as I kissed my way across her collarbone. She hooked her leg over my hip and rubbed herself against me, soft mewling sounds falling from her lips. When I ran my finger over her nipple, the dusky flesh tightened, hardened. I bent my head to take it into my mouth, gently sucking even as my tongue teased.

“More,” she gasped, her nails digging into my scalp. “More.”

I was only too happy to oblige, sucking harder. I slid my hands under her back, holding her against my mouth as I moved from one breast to the other, working teeth and tongue over her nipples, increasing suction until her flesh was swollen, so tender that she cried out at the lightest brush of air.

Then she was pushing at my head and I knew what she wanted. I wanted it too. I hadn't gone down on a woman in far too long, and I wanted to see her come apart under my mouth.

I settled between her legs, my cock rubbing against the sheets almost painfully. I wasn't sure when I'd undressed, only that I was naked now too, and I wanted to feel every inch of her against every inch of me. And I would, but first...

She was perfect, soft pink skin glistening with her arousal. A stab of pride went through me at the realization that it was my kisses, my attention, that had gotten her this way. I teased her first, holding her hips still as my tongue dipped and explored, tasting her, torturing her. Only when she began to beg did I relent and turn my attention to the spot she wanted it most.

She swore, her entire body jerking, the moment I touched her clit. I licked it slowly, then faster, gauging by her sobs how close she was to coming. When she was almost there, I slid two fingers inside her, curling them to press against that spot until she wailed in pleasure.

Then I was above her, pushing inside the tight heat of her, sliding into place like I'd been made for her and she for me. I propped myself up on my arms as I moved into her. Slow, steady strokes that drew out her orgasm kept it simmering even as I worked her toward another.

“X!” She reached up for me, nails digging into my shoulders, raking down my back. “X, please! Please, baby!” She moaned my name again.

I shifted so I could bury my hand in her hair, holding her head still. “Look at me.” Her eyes opened, met mine. “Tell me.”

She moved against me, locking her legs around my waist so that she could meet me thrust for thrust, driving me deeper inside her.

“You're not a monster, X. You're not a monster.”

My body tightened as I came...

I jerked awake, covered with sweat, my body trembling.

I ran my hand over my face. “Shit.” Even my voice was shaky.

I leaned over and turned on the bedside lamp. It wasn't until I moved that I realized I hadn't just come in my dream.

“Dammit,” I swore again. I still felt the faint throbbing in my cock that told me it wasn't only sweat making my sheets damp. It was the first orgasm I'd had since that woman I picked up at the bar my first night of leave. Hell, it was the first actual boner I'd had since then.

I climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom. The sight of myself in the mirror caught me off guard. Normally, I turned so that only my right side was reflected back at me, just in case I accidentally caught a glimpse. Tonight, though, I wasn't as careful, and I found myself visible from the waist up.

My stomach tightened at the memory of the words from my dream.

The people calling me a freak and a monster.

Nori saying I wasn't.

I closed my eyes as the rest of it came forward. The sensation of her body beneath mine. The sounds she made. How it felt inside her.

I shook my head, willing the thoughts away. I had no right to think of her like that. It wasn't even a matter of fantasizing about my nurse, or the fact that she'd never hinted at any sort of romantic interest. She had a boyfriend. Tanner. She'd talked about him a bit. Nothing too detailed, but enough for me to know that she'd been with him a while and he was a great guy. She deserved that.

And it wasn't even like I thought about her like
that
. It honestly didn't have anything to do with why she was in my dream. The truth was, she'd been kind to me. So it was only natural that she was the one who rose from my subconscious to combat the nightmare. As for the sex part of it, I could make sense of that. She was attractive – hell with that, she was gorgeous – and my mind simply took that physical attraction too far.

I wiped myself down, scowling at the bandages that still needed to be kept clean and dry. I couldn't wait until I could get a full shower whenever I wanted without having to worry about what got wet. When I was finished, I went back into the bedroom and set about stripping my bed clean. Once that was done, I headed for the linen closet down the hall.

I didn't bother putting any clothes on. Father O'Toole had come back to the house when he heard everyone else had left, but he was on the first floor, and I doubted it would've mattered to him anyway. Yet another good reason not to have all of these extra people wandering around, in my opinion. I wasn't the sort of person who liked hanging out in their house stark naked, but it was nice not to have to worry about shocking someone if I happened into the hallway bare-ass.

I grabbed a linen set and went back to the bedroom. Ten minutes later, I was throwing the sheets and pillows off the bed. Making a bed was something every soldier was expected to do from the very beginning. Tight corners, smooth sheets. It was second nature to me, something I could do without thinking.

Except now I couldn't.

I'd been a soldier, a man who ran into the thick of danger to save people. I'd been in charge of the lives of my soldiers. I'd taken pride in my accomplishments as a soldier, and now I couldn't even make a fucking bed.

Maybe that was the problem. Maybe I was too proud of what I'd accomplished and now it was time to pay the price. Maybe I needed to be reminded that all I'd done wasn't enough to make up for everything else in my life.

I yanked on a pair of sweatpants and headed down to the kitchen. There had to be some alcohol somewhere in this fucking house. I knew it wasn't a good idea to mix it with the pain medication I was taking, but at this point, I didn't give a damn.

I just wanted out. Out of this house. Out of this life. I couldn't live like this. The shell of the person I'd been. I was too tired to keep fighting. That's what Father O'Toole didn't understand. Couldn't understand.

I was just so damn tired.