Domesticated (39 page)

Just like that, we were done, and neither of us would mention it again. We were back to discussing her house that she was in love with. She couldn’t wait for Jackson to see it. I listened, happy that she was happy. I couldn’t help but nonchalantly scratch my nose or touch my lips. Her scent lingered on my fingers and I couldn’t wait to get to the hotel to touch myself again. I’m sure I wasn’t dry down there the whole ride.

I always hated leaving the beach house, but this time was for different reasons. I wasn’t going back to Connecticut to a pretend life. I was going to my own home where I loved. It was bitter sweet this time. I felt like I was saying goodbye to Sam for the very last time. This home was the only thing I had left of him. Once I handed over those keys, I knew I would never see him again.

Olivia and I spent one last night at the beach. We ate supper on Seafood Strip and she drank too many RumChata’s. So many happy memories of Sam and I there overwhelmed me. I wasn’t sure I would ever find another Sam. Man, I missed him.

We were almost home free, walking down the sidewalk back the way we came, our eyes locked. Not Sam. I think that would have been better. Rita’s eyes went right to my very noticeable baby bump. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. I smiled, nodded and shoved Olivia down the next alley. Dammit. She would tell Sam. I suddenly wanted to leave that night. What if he was there? I couldn’t let him take my baby. I had to get the hell out of there.

Olivia protested the entire time we loaded the car. I did one more, quick walkthrough and left the key on the counter. The one Sam and I did dirty little things on. It was best for us to leave right away. I didn’t want any trouble with Sam. I was doing awesome with this pregnancy, doing everything by the book and avoiding stress. Sam was stress. I needed to avoid him.

“I’ll drive until you sober up a bit,” I offered, closing the door on my house for the last time.

“Can I talk to you for a minute, Kendra?”

I closed my eyes and let my forehead beat off the glass door once, before turning to Rita. Olivia took the overnight bag from my hand and left us alone. She wanted to walk the beach one more time anyway.

“Have a seat,” Rita offered with a wave of her hand to the table and chairs on my deck. I didn’t want to have a seat. I didn’t want to do this with her.

I sat, but didn’t speak. I had no idea what Sam told her. I wasn’t about to let that cat out. He could do that.

“Are you carrying Sam’s baby?” Well let’s just be blunt about it, why don’t you. Wait. That’s exactly what I would have done.

“Yes,” I honestly replied.

“For sure?”

“Yes, for sure. I had the DNA test, proving my soon to be ex-husband is in no way related to this baby. And he is the only other possibility aside from Sam.”

“Were you planning on telling him, or just running away with his child?”

“I was just planning to run away. It’s safer that way. Sam hates me.”

“Sam doesn’t hate you. I’ve watched him walk around like he lost his best friend for weeks now. Sam is so in love with you it’s sickening. Before whatever, this is that happened between you, he was driving us all crazy. I couldn’t even call him on the phone and talk for one second without you being the topic. Now he doesn’t talk about you, he just doesn’t talk. That’s not like Sam. He has a right to know.”

“It’s going to make him hate me more. He thinks I did this on purpose. I didn’t. I didn’t even think I could have a baby.”

“Why does he think that then?”

“If I tell you then you’re going to hate me, too.”

“I may very well be mad at you, but hate’s a pretty strong word, plus you’re carrying my grandbaby. I want to know him or her.”

“Him. It’s a boy,” I offered for whatever reason.

“Simon.” She smiled.

“Excuse me?”

“Simon. It was supposed to be Savannah and Simon. Sam was going to have two kids, a boy and a girl.”

I took a deep breath, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do now. Did Sam have a leg to stand on? Would he actually even try to take my baby? I wasn’t sure I was willing to take that chance.

I flew home to Connecticut and spent the week with Olivia. I loved the way she decorated her three-bedroom ranch. I tried to tell her she could buy something more, bigger, better, but she didn’t want it. She loved the neighborhood, the park across the road, and she had already fallen head over heels in love with the little old lady next door.

The house was completely remodeled. I didn’t even know Jackson, and I knew he was going to love his man-cave in the basement. Olivia had it done in football, mostly San Francisco. That was his team. The two bedrooms the little ones would sleep in were just down the hall from where she and Jackson would sleep. I loved her house. I loved seeing her so happy in her house.

We had dinner at her parent’s first, and then later in the evening went to Jackson’s for another Thanksgiving feast. I loved going around the table, disclosing what everyone was thankful for. I was going to adopt that tradition for my own family Thanksgiving. I of course said my baby, and then looked up, and said, Olivia. I was thankful for her.

“I’m very thankful for my family and Olivia, too,” the voice said from the kitchen door. I thought Olivia was going to jump through the roof. I have never in my life seen anyone move fast, or that happy to see someone in my life. Jackson wrapped her in is arms and her legs went around his waist. She was more excited than I had ever seen her, and I am so happy I was there to see it. Olivia was so in love with that man.

I tried my best to get out of going back home with her. I didn’t want to intrude. Jackson only had a two-week leave, and I wanted her to spend every waking minute with him. She insisted I come home with her, but I had already booked the flight back the next day. She could come see me when he left. They needed their time.

I hated her again, lying in bed that night. Of course, they were going to fuck. Why wouldn’t I think they were going to fuck, and how did I expect her to be quiet with a cock that size? I would be screaming, too.

I lay there staring up at the ceiling with one arm around my little mouse and one hand between my legs, listening to the moaning. Jackson was my hero. He didn’t stop. I had two orgasms with Olivia, but then she had two more. No wonder she loved him. I wanted to love him, too, at least try.

I left my friend alone with her fiancé the very next afternoon, feeling happy yet sad. I was happy that she was so happy, and that Jackson made her that way. I was sad to be going home alone. I wanted to be happy like that, too. I hated the thought of going home to my empty, hollow home, and I couldn’t wait until this little guy filled the walls with laughter. March couldn’t come soon enough. Why the hell did it have to take so long to have a baby anyway?

I kept myself busy by decorating my house, one room at a time. I had a carpenter come in, put a door between my room and the babies, and knock a wall out so his room would be twice the size. I know it was silly, but I did it thinking that maybe Olivia would have a little girl. I decorated the room right across from the baby’s room for a little girl. Savannah may have had something to do with it as well. I would be lying if I didn’t think about her while decorating it.

The window seat was transformed into the best dollhouse a girl could ask for. I did it myself after seeing a pin on Pinterest for it. Spending time on the house, ordering wallpaper, tile, and furniture took up a lot of my time. I think I got more out of decorating that pink room than I did my own little guys. Savannah would love it if she ever got the chance to see it, and who knows. I could still find Mr. Sam and have a little girl. Stranger things have happened.

I knew Rita never told Sam, and if she did, he didn’t care. He never called. My cell phone rang once or twice a day. It was always the same person, Olivia. Sam never called.

Olivia did spend the week before Christmas with me, and we decorated a tree on the massive front porch. The whole town was doing it, and I loved the tradition. I loved it even more when darkness fell and the whole town was transformed into Christmas. Olivia and I drank eggnog at my favorite little bookstore and listened to the jolly carolers.

“I can’t wait for my little guy to see this next year,” I told Olivia, sipping my eggnog.

“Are you ever going to pick a name and stop calling him that?”

“I will eventually. I still have three months,” I said, taking my phone from my purse. I wondered who could be texting me. Olivia was with me.

S—Happy Birthday.

It took me a minute to say anything. I didn’t know what to say.

“Who is it?” Olivia asked.

“Sam. He just said happy birthday.”

“What? When is your birthday?”

“Right now. Today.”

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me? I would have bought you something.”

“I don’t need anything. What do I say back?”

“How about, thanks?”

Kendra—Random, but thanks.

S—How are you?

Kendra—I’m fine. WTH? Do you know how long it’s been since you’ve talked to me? How do you even know it’s my birthday?

S—I listen. You told me your birthday was December fourteenth. The same night I told you mine. Do you remember when that is?

Kendra—Yes. March 16
th
.

S—When are you due?

Well, he knows. That’s for sure.

Kendra—March 10
th
.

S—2015?

I laughed out loud.

Kendra—God I hope so.

S—We need to talk.

Kendra—No. You’re going to try to take him from me. I’m not telling you where I am.

S—Stop acting like you’re the hurt and wounded one here.

Kendra—I am.

“So am I, and I know where you live.” I heard his voice. I’m sure my face looked like it did when Olivia saw Jackson. I looked right at her wearing a smirk.

“You did this,” I instantly accused, fighting everything in me not do what she did when Jackson surprised her. I wanted to wrap my entire body up in Sam’s—forever.

“Guilty, now I have a plane to catch. I’ll call you when I’m the ground. No. Wait. I’ll call you tomorrow. Have fun… Sam,” Olivia nodded a hello and a goodbye all at the same time.

“Olivia, where are you going? You don’t have to leave. We were going to exchange gifts.”

“I’ll see you soon,” she said, sliding on her thin jacket and darting off into the crowd.

“You look pretty.”

“Um, thanks. What the hell are you doing here?”

“Can we get out of here?”

“Yes, I live right down this road, but I’m afraid to talk to you. You can’t take him from me, Sam. I love him so much already.”

“I’m not going to take anything, Kendra, but regardless of where we stand, I will see him. He’ll know I’m his daddy and Savannah is his sister. You do know that, right?”

“I’m okay with that,” I admitted. I was more than okay with that. Sam was the best dad this baby could have hoped for, and my first candidate as well. I could shop for a baby daddy for years and never find one better than him.

Sam and I walked and talked, looking at all the decorated homes. They truly were beautiful. We stayed on the front porch and swung back and forth on the wooden swing.

“Did your mom tell you?” I asked, wishing he would move closer or take my hand, or something. Anything. I just wanted to touch him, and for the first time since I met him, it wasn’t a sexual kind of touch, I longed for him. I wanted him to hold me and let me fall asleep in his arms.

“No. Olivia told me.”

“I didn’t do this on purpose. I swear Sam. I never lied to you.”

“I believe you.”

“Why?”

“Olivia told me everything. I’m glad you’re the one pregnant and not her,” he said. I could hardly see the smile in the dark, but certainly heard it in his voice.

“I was stupid. I was willing to do anything to have a little person to love and who would love me back. The only thing I wasn’t willing to do was watch you touch her. I hated it.”

“Where do we go from here, Kendra?”

“Where do you want to go, Sam? I can’t answer that.”

“Do you love me?”

“More than you’ll ever know.”

“Then come back to Baylortown with me. Let me take care of you.”

“I don’t need taken care of, Sam. I need for you to trust me. I have never in my life been aroused by little girls or boys. I don’t understand how anyone could be, and it makes me sick to think about everything that is stripped from a little girl when it happens. What happened to me as a child may have played a role on my sexual habits, but they never made me want to do it to another child.”

“I’m sorry I did that to you. I’m sorry I made you feel like that, and I didn’t mean that kind of taken care of it. You’re the strongest person I know, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need taken care of. That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be happy.”

“What about you? What do you deserve?”

“Not you. I know I fucked up, but you hurt me, too. I don’t deserve you, but I want you. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.”

“You do?”

“Yes, Kendra. I do. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t think, and I can’t stop loving you. I don’t want to try anymore.”

“But what do we do? I love it here. I love my doctor here.”

“We can’t live here.”

“Why? Can’t you teach here?”

“Kendra, I can’t be ten hours away from Savannah. Can’t we come here for vacations or weekend getaways?”

“I’m going to have to think about it, Sam. You just left. You wouldn’t even give me time to explain.”

“You dropped a bomb on me, Kendra. People don’t do what you did.”

“Yes they do. I watched it on a Lifetime movie,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood. “I’m sorry, Sam. I’m sorry I did that to you, but I don’t know if we can work past it. We were both hurt.”

“And we can both heal together. We’re having a baby, Kendra. Can we try? Come home with me for a couple weeks and see how it goes.”

“I have a baby appointment Monday.”

“We’ll leave right after that. I can take Monday off.”

“Can I sleep on it?”

“You could, but I was hoping not to do much sleeping.”

“I don’t want to do that, Sam.”

Sam grabbed his shirt, imitating a heart attack. “You’re joking,” he teased.

“No, not really. Our whole relationship is based off sex. I don’t need that right now.”

“Okay, if that’s really what you want. I’ll sleep on the sofa.”

“You don’t have to sleep on the sofa. This house is huge. I have five bedrooms.”

After showering, I showed Sam to his little girl bedroom. He complained about his masculinity, but played with the dollhouse like a six-year-old little girl. “This is freaking amazing, Kendra. You did all this?”

“Well, the carpenter split the rooms and ran the electric for me, but I did the rest.”

“I’m working on a little girl’s bedroom right now in one of the stores. I’m so going to do this. You should decorate it for me. Let’s do this in Savannah’s room, too. I’ll build the window seat if you turn it into this.”

“Okay,” I agreed, feeling proud for the first time in my life for something I did all on my own. Sam loved it, and that made me happy.

Holding my breath, I watched Sam close the distance between us. I didn’t protest when he wrapped me in his arms, but I didn’t do the same. I kept my arms to my sides and let Sam do the talking.

“We’re going to be okay, Kendra.”

“Promise?”

“With all my heart.”

Sam knew what he was doing, he also knew I couldn’t take being this close to him and not acting on it. I felt his kiss go straight to my groin, but then it was gone. It was gone the second Sam dropped to his knees and lifted my shirt. He held my round belly in his hands like he was getting ready to shoot a three pointer, and kissed it, whispering how much he loved him. My heart melted and I knew at that moment I wanted everything he was promising. I wanted the family, but I didn’t want to shop for it. I wanted Sam.

Sam didn’t sleep in the pink little girl’s room. He slept in my bed, and just like he’d predicted, we did little sleeping, and my pussy thanked me for giving in. Sam brought me to my first O with his delectable tongue and lips. The next one came in the form of his fingers while his other hand left burning red handprints across my ass. Last but not least, Sam made me come while holding my legs up, and staring down at me while, pumping in and out. I was in total love with this man.