Domme By Default (3 page)
Mentally I chanted to myself,
Shut up shut up
shut up!
He froze again. I felt him watching me, didn't need to look to see he studied my face.
"It was a good story."
This was not my husband's voice, the strong, confident tone I was used to hearing.
This soft, nearly submissive whisper was new, alien territory.
"What did you like about it?" I calmly asked again, hoping he didn't pay attention to how my heart raced.
He took a long time answering. I still felt his eyes on me, testing, gauging, trying to spin the answer in any way he thought wouldn't totally flip me out and send me running for cover.
I felt him rest his chin over my navel. "I would like to do that." Another long pause. "For you. With you."
"More than just play?"
He kissed my stomach and rested his cheek against my flesh. At ten o'clock at night he had a little stubble on his chin, scratchy, real.
"Yeah. More than just play."
Breathe
, I thought.
Air in, air out.
It took me a moment to sort things out in my mind. "What do you want to do?" I asked, trying to confirm what I'd heard in the least threatening way possible.
"I'd like to be your slave."
Okay, so I
did
hear him right.
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Domma By Default
by Tymber Dalton
"I need a little time to get my head around that." I thought about things I'd seen on the internet, stereotypes I wasn't comfortable with. "I won't go around beating you like a dog. I can't do that to you, I love you."
"I don't want that," he whispered. "I want you to be in control. Not just in the bedroom. I want you to be my Mistress."
Okay then.
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Domma By Default
by Tymber Dalton
him
I couldn't believe she didn't freak out.
I did some research and no, we weren't exactly textbook bondage folks. Although touring through a few sites left me drooling for some of the restraints, my dick throbbing when I imagined how it'd feel to have her truss me up.
I didn't have any idea how to vocalize to her why I needed this. I trusted her. I've never trusted another person in my entire life as much as I trust my wife.
Once the kids were on their own, it wasn't unusual for me to walk naked around the house in the evening. She enjoyed it, and I know I did. Once we started this, I would voluntarily shed my clothes as soon as I got home and stay that way until I had to dress to go to work or to the store or something.
I asked her if she wanted me to keep a journal, because it was something I read about online that other Masters made their slaves do. I wanted a list of rules, of chores, of tasks to do for my Mistress.
I took it upon myself to start preparing her coffee and bringing it to her every morning. I made sure her laptop was always turned on when I got up.
Somehow, it helped satisfy some of my need. I craved to do things for her and wished I could afford to quit work and 29
Domma By Default
by Tymber Dalton
stay home and spend all day being with her, taking care of her.
Serving her.
When I'd sit at work and listen to co-workers bitch about their wives and girlfriends, complaining that they had their free time scheduled, my dick would harden. I wished my wife would do that for me, tightly schedule every second.
Owning me.
After a week or so I came home and she'd set up an online task list for me, with a spreadsheet for me to check off every day, acknowledging I'd read it and for me to note any questions or concerns or requests.
I nearly drooled.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
But she loved me. She did this for me.
My Mistress.
The first couple of days, I nearly raced home to see if she'd added anything. It started out very basic, mostly things I was already doing.
Biting back my disappointment, I diligently filled out my daily log as I was instructed. I wanted more.
Needed more.
Craved it.
The third day, a new line.
You will always take proper care
of your toys and know exactly where they are so you can get
them immediately if Mistress wishes to use them on you.
Ah! Yes! Wait.
Toys?
What toys? I didn't
have
any toys.
Yet.
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Domma By Default
by Tymber Dalton
Then the next line.
You are not allowed to come without
Mistress unless she tells you it's okay.
Licking my lips, I fought the urge to fist my cock right then. Reading the words had given me a hard, throbbing woody.
This
is what I wanted.
It wasn't enough but I knew it wasn't fair to push her harder than I already had.
Besides that, she was my Mistress. It was her call.
I knew she was worried about taking me too far too fast, worried it might be a passing phase and hesitant to do anything that might hurt me.
I wanted to beg her to jump in with both feet.
But I loved her for her caution, for her level-headed approach to this. She was right, and I had to trust her.
I had to trust my Mistress.
She called to me from the living room. "Go wait for me in bed."
As if a switch flipped inside me, without question I immediately jumped up from my chair and ran for the bedroom. When she walked in a few minutes later, she found me kneeling on the bed, my ass in the air.
Her hand caressed my ass, sliding between my legs, nails gently raking across my sac.
Ahhh...
"I'm going shopping," she said.
Toys!
I didn't know if I was supposed to say anything, so I knelt there, fighting the urge to grind my ass against her hand.
Her voice faltered. "You're sure you want to do this?"
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Domma By Default
by Tymber Dalton
I nodded, my eyes closed, wishing she'd do more than just rest her cool hand on my ass. "Yes, Mistress. Please." I knew it had to sound like begging.
I was beyond caring.
She gently patted me on the ass. "You can have some free time until I return." She paused. "Did you read your list today?"
"Yes, Mistress."
"Any questions?"
"No, Mistress."
She hesitated, like she was going to say something, then I heard her step away from the bed. "I'll be back soon. Enjoy your free time."
Before I could look, she was gone. I heard the front door open and shut a moment later. Something about her voice sounded off.
There was no way I could grab something to cover myself in time and go after her. Something about her tone gnawed at me. I hadn't heard that tone in ... years.
Like maybe she was trying not to cry.
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Domma By Default
by Tymber Dalton
Her
I had to back up a few steps. I was in virgin territory—
forgive the pun—and had no clue how to proceed. I wouldn't beat my husband. I would look like a nightmare in latex, not that I wanted to wear it in the first place.
I didn't want to be one of "those" people you could download off the torrent sites and watch writhing in agony and ecstasy.
Oh, gods, please don't let him want to be wrapped in a
diaper or dressed like a girl!
There were limits to what I could do for him. Limits that even if I tried to cross I knew would send me over the edge. I desperately wanted to give this man any and everything he asked of me. That was the depths of my love for him. There were some things, however, I knew I could not do.
Not if I wanted to hold onto my sanity and self-respect.
I remembered that one of the writers I knew was a Dom. A real life, wield a whip Dom.
The next evening, I saw Tony on IM. I sent him a message.
I have a question.
Shoot.
I knew he'd keep his mouth shut, but it was still hard to type the words.
My dh wants to be my sub.
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Domma By Default
by Tymber Dalton
A moment of panic as his reply was delayed.
What do
you
want?
I'd always joked that in our house, I was queen of all she surveyed. The Alpha bitch. The final voice.
Joked.
Yes, in many things that was true, but I tried when I could to get my husband to make the call.
I want to make him happy.
That was a cop-out answer and I knew it. Tony either gave me a pass or missed it entirely.
So what do you want to know?
He wants to try anal.
So get him a butt plug...
And so the conversation went. That's how I found myself standing outside the adult toy store, alone, fighting my tears, trying to suck it up and be a Domme.
Domme by default.
The opportunist in me mentally filed away details for future use in a story. Hah! I admit it, everything's fair game in my life. It's how I make my living.
I never realized anal toys came in such a wide variety of sizes, shapes, and colors. They ranged from
why bother?
to
is
it in yet?
to
holy fucking shit there's no way in
hell
that'll fit
.
I stared at the display and the chipper sales girl helped me make a decision. I picked two that didn't scare the living daylights out of me. The girl suggested a bottle of silicone lubricant to go with them, offered me some surreally helpful advice for my husband for his first time using them, and twenty minutes later I was back in my car with my purchase.
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Domma By Default
by Tymber Dalton
That was a long drive home, even though it only lasted twenty minutes.
I'd had no idea what to do. I'd worried I'd hurt my husband, had no clue how to introduce these to him and had admitted this to Tony.
I recalled Tony's advice.
Give him the butt plugs and the
lube and tell him to go play for a set amount of time. He'll
come out blushing and grinning.
Well, I had to start somewhere.
I'd done a little research ahead of time, before leaving on my unusual shopping trip. My husband was sitting at his desk, naked, reading email on his laptop.
His eyes lit up when I handed him the bag. He started to stand and I said, "Wait." I reached over him and typed in a website, navigated to the page I had already scoped out, and pointed. "Reading assignment. After you read, you can go into the bedroom and play for thirty minutes."
He eagerly nodded, apparently no longer capable of coherent speech.
I took a deep breath. "Remember, you're not allowed to come."
He smiled, nodding.
"Don't open the bag until after you're in the bedroom."
He nodded again. As I moved out of the way he saw the page was a user-friendly instructional guide for newbies to anal plugs and how to properly use them.
Yes, there are such pages.
I know, surprised the crap out of me, too. I guess you really can find anything on the internet.
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Domma By Default
by Tymber Dalton
I returned to the living room and tried to write. I wasn't sitting in a direct line of sight of our bedroom, but I heard him get up a few minutes later and walk into our bedroom and close the door.
I swallowed hard.
I tried to read email. I tried to web surf. I tried reading news and ten minutes later I was tiptoeing down the hall and standing outside our bedroom door, listening.
I couldn't hear much. I heard the bed move, meaning he was in it. I thought I heard him moan, I wasn't sure.
It was tempting to join him but I needed to do this.
He needed to do this.
He wanted me to be his Domme. That meant I needed to learn to hold my ground when I gave him a command. That was part of it, right?
I forced myself back to the couch and thirty minutes after I'd heard the door shut, our bedroom door opened.
He was blushing, grinning from ear to ear, and his hair looked like he'd been through a wind tunnel.
I'll be damned. Tony was right.
"Well?" I asked.
He nodded and leaned over the back of the couch and kissed me. "Wow!"
I tried for cool but knew I veered hard into curious. "So you know how to use them?"
He eagerly nodded.
I mean, how do you hold a conversation like this with the man you love? Do you say, "Hey, honey, how's it feel to have a butt plug up your ass?"
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Domma By Default
by Tymber Dalton
What's the etiquette for a situation like that?
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Domma By Default
by Tymber Dalton
him
Holy crap it felt great! I was nervous at first, my eyes bugged when I looked at the webpage she'd pulled up.
I could only guess what was in the bag.
I didn't peek. Mistress ordered me not to look, so I didn't.
The hard part was not coming. Fuck! It was uncomfortable at first, an alien feeling but as I relaxed ... holy crap!
I've never been so hard in my life.
I could not believe she was going along with this.
And I desperately loved her for it.
I didn't dare touch my cock. I knew if I did I'd be fisting myself and there's no way I wouldn't come.
I didn't want to disappoint Mistress.
My Mistress.
I knew this couldn't be easy for her, but ... dammit. I've never been so fucking turned on in my life as I was laying there working the small butt plug up inside me. I wanted to walk out to the living room and drop to my knees in front of her.
But those weren't my orders.
After a few minutes I was brave enough to try the medium one.
Wow!
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Domma By Default
by Tymber Dalton
I squirmed on the bed, trying to obey Mistress. Jesus I wanted to stroke my cock. The only thing that could make this better...
