Donners Bend (38 page)

Jamie walked to the back wall and leaned against it, wondering what was going on
. 
Was
Sarah
okay
? 
Had her father convinced her out of it
? 
He was standing back there with her, after all, prepared to walk her down the aisle
. 

After what seemed like hours,
Phillip
appeared once more
. 
He walked straight up to Jamie and whispered into his ear, “
Sarah
wants to see you.”

Jamie nodded unsurely, “Alright.”

He found her waiting in the coatroom amidst the sopping coats, umbrellas, and hats
. 
Mr.
Walsh sat just outside the church doors, waiting for her and looking quite bored and mournful.

Sarah
looked beautiful, Jamie had to admit, more beautiful than he’d ever seen her before
. 
Soft ringlets had been pinned up fashionably atop her head and a white veil embedded with pearls hung from beneath
. 
She wore a strapless white gown with a large ballroom skirt
,
and embroidery embellished the bodice
. 
Beneath the dress, a corset accentuated her small waist
. 
On her ears were two pearl earrings
. 
Long, white gloves ran up past her elbows, but she was removing them as he entered.

“What’s wrong?” he asked immediately, taking her hands.

She looked up, her face quite content
,
for she’d come to a conclusion
, a
nd despite what one might think, it neither saddened her nor angered her
. 
“You don’t want to do this, do you Jamie?”

“Of course I do.”

“Please don’t lie
. 
Your mouth may say that this is want you want, but your eyes tell a different story
, a
nd I can’t deny it any longer
. 
If I did I would live the rest of my life in misery,” she took a quick breath, “
b
ecause I’d know that my husband loved another.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You love
Eliana
Henderson
, Jamie
. 
Don’t deny it and lie to me, for no matter what you say
,
I’ll know it
’
s true
.
”
O
ne would never have thought a girl in her position could speak so understandingly, “To do this would be a huge mistake
. 
Because you love her, don’t you?”

Jamie finally let go of her hands and admitted, “I do.” Standing up, he rubbed the temples of his forehead in stress, “I love her and I’m sorry that you had to know it
. 
I never meant to hurt you,
Sarah
. 
I really didn’t.”

“I know you didn’t,”
Sarah
replied, looking at him admirably, but wondering, “What I don’t understand is why you asked me to marry you when you really loved
Ellie
.”

Jamie stepped towards the window and la
id
his hand on the windowsill, looking out at the pouring rain
. 
He mumbled sadly, “I did ask her
. 
She said no.”

“Why did you give up so easily
? 
Why didn’t you just wait and ask again?”

Jamie shook his head, “You don’t understand
. 
You didn’t hear her say it
. 
She meant every word she said
,
and I know no amount of pleading could have changed her mind.”

Sarah
was in disbelief, “Then you’re not the man I thought you were, James
on
Rhodes
.”

“What do you mean?”

“You can’t let her get away that easy
. 
You love her and I know she loves you too
. 
She was just a little confused, is all
. 
Soon enough she’ll realize her mistake
. 
Go to her, Jamie.”

“Now?”

“Yes, now,”
Sarah
, a bride on her wedding day, was
telling
her groom to go to another girl, “Go find
Ellie
and tell her that you love her
! 
She loves you too, Jamie, I know she does
, a
nd she’ll realize it with a little help
. 
So go
! 
Go if you’re the man I think you are.”

Jamie took a deep breath, realizing she was right, and exclaimed, “I’m going
! 
I’m going
! 
Sarah
you’re amazing,” he grabbed her and kissed her on the cheek, “And someday you’ll make some lucky man a wonderful wife
. 
Thank you!  I thank you, more than you’ll ever know!  Good
bye,
Sarah
! 
Good
bye!”

He raced out of the room with a fire in his heart.

“Where’re you going, boy?” shouted
Mr.
Walsh, still sitting
in the front of
the closed church doors
. 

But Jamie didn’t answer, and without grabbing a coat or hat or anything, he ran out into the rain and hopped on a horse
. 
It wasn’t his horse, but he didn’t have the time to
lin
ger around and ask permission to use it
. 
Kicking the sides of the great animal, he set out at a gallop and faded into the distance until he was no longer visible to
Sarah
, who was watching from the window
. 

“Goodbye, Jamie,” she whispered with a smile as he raced away, “And good luck.”

The rain poured down harder than it had in weeks that day as Jamie rode through the hills on horseback
. 
Just minutes before
,
he’d been preparing to wed
Sarah
; now he was racing off to
find
Ellie
. 
His appearance, once fit to perfection, was now soaked to the bone
. 
As he rode, sopping black locks fell into his face and he continually had to push them out of his view
. 
The rain flew into his face, causing him to squint, but those spark
ling
brown eyes couldn’t be deterred from looking ahead to their destination
.

The journey to
Ellie
’s little house from the church seemed to take forever
. 
Above Jamie, the deep gray clouds filled all of the sky and dumped their contents onto
Donners Bend
’s countryside
. 
A strong, swir
ling
wind blew the leaves and branches of the trees until they shifted back and forth with the insistent breeze
. 

As he rode, Jamie’s thoughts focused only on
Ellie
and how he was going to reach her
. 
He couldn’t believe what a big mistake he’d made, and if it hadn’t been for
Sarah
,
he may have made an even bigger aberration, one that he would have regretted the rest of his life
.

He was about half way there before he suddenly realized he had no idea what he was supposed to say to her when he arrived
. 
Would she even want to see him
? 
He didn’t know
. 
He hadn’t even really talked to her since the day he proposed: how long ago that day seemed now
. 
All those days he’d spent with
Sarah
preparing for the wedding seemed wasted; oh how he’d wished each and every one of those days that he could have just gone out and played a game of pirates with
Ellie
and the children
, o
r Peter Pan
. 
He would have given anything to just play Peter Pan one more time
. 

How was he to know that she wasn’t angry with him
? 
What would he do if he found out that she truly did hate him now, just as she’d pledged she did that snowy Christmas night
? 
Everything was so uncertain
. 
As her little cottage neared and he could just see its hazy out
lin
e in the distance, Jamie only hoped
that when he reached her
,
the words he’d been searching for would come
. 

Suddenly his watch seemed to have sped up, for in an instant he and his horse were cantering up to
Ellie
’s front yard
. 
Letting go of all his uncertainties, Jamie jumped off, still completely soaked to the bone and wearing his expensive suit
. 
He wiped the black hair out of his eyes and called out as loudly as he could through the pouring rain, “
Ellie
! 
Ellie
!”

Inside,
Ellie
sat on the ground next to the warm fire, thinking
. 
She wondered what was going on across town at the church at that very moment
. 
I suppose they’re man and wife by now
,
she thought to herself,
I suppose it’s all over now
, but
then she heard a voice from outside
. 
A man’s voice
. 
Jamie’s
. 

“
Ellie
!” she heard
it
call, “
Ellie
!”

But it can’t be Jamie
. 
He’s at the wedding
. 
Maybe it’s
Jon
,
Ellie
pondered.

But the voice called out again, “
Ellie
!” and she knew it must be him
. 

Since her wheelchair was across the room, she just decided to leave it be and managed to stand up on her own
. 
Straightening out her simple yellow dress,
Ellie
prepared to meet him
. 
She hobbled across the room to the door, holding onto tables and chairs to steady herself
, a
nd then, without preparation for what was to come,
Ellie
opened the door
. 

Staring up at her from the front lawn was Jamie
. 
Her heart seemed to melt at the sight of him and she didn’t know why
. 
Something must be wrong, she determined, for he hadn’t even taken the time to change out of his expensive black suit
. 
It was filthy now
. 
Bits of dirt and mud had splattered up upon it during the ride and she was sure all that rain couldn’t be good
. 
Black hair fell down into his face along with raindrops, but he didn’t bother to brush them anyway anymore
. 
Ellie
had never noticed
how earnest his eyes looked, but maybe it was because they’d never looked that way before
.

Clutching onto the doorframe for the support to stand,
Ellie
looked down at him sadly from her front porch.