DONOVAN: A Standalone Romance (Gray Wolf Security) (14 page)

Kate

There was a car waiting for us when we landed. Donovan drove, the two of us alone just like he promised. It was a bit of a drive, further outside of the city than I imagined. It was a beautiful property in the middle of nowhere, another log-cabin-styled house with huge windows with an amazing view. I walked through the rooms, feeling lost. I was thousands of miles away from home and had no idea what I was doing.

“There’re are clothes in the back bedroom,” Donovan said.

Of course.

“Do you know what’s going on back home?”

I saw him, pacing beside the car, talking to someone on the phone. I assumed it was Ash. It was always Ash.

“Yeah. Someone hacked the cameras at both your house and the safe house. When David recognized it and sent a team to check it out, the safe house exploded.”

“The whole house?”

He came up behind me and slid his arm around my waist. “At least we know it wasn’t your stepmother.”

I twisted so that I could see his face. “You thought Veronica could do this?”

“We had her checked out. Turns out there’re some issues your dad’s going to want to discuss with her, but she didn’t have anything to do with this.”

“What kind of issues?”

“Turns out she’s married to some guy in Arizona.”

“What!?” I twisted around and pressed my hands against his chest. “What do you mean she’s married?”

“Warren thinks she’s running a scam.”

I bit the heel of my hand, trying to keep from laughing, but it was almost impossible.

Donovan cracked a smile, too.

“Can you believe that? My dad…oh, my poor dad.”

“At least he won’t have to go through a messy divorce.”

I chuckled again. “Yeah. And the timing couldn’t be better. I think the shine has worn off, if you know what I mean.”

“I think I can guess.”

He grabbed my hips and pulled me close, his lips brushing my throat.

“Is it wrong to be laughing when a house just exploded because of me?”

“It wasn’t your fault, Kate.”

“Was anyone hurt?” I asked, leaning back to look him in eye.

“No. There was a secondary fire in the house next door, but the fire department was able to get it out before it did much damage.”

“That’s good.”

He kissed my neck, a finger caught in the fabric of my dress tugging it off my shoulder. His lips slid over my skin, so warm and reassuring. I ran my fingers over the back of his head, teasing the short hairs there. He tugged the dress a little more, pulling one sleeve down my arm, exposing more of my shoulder, my breast. And then his hand was there, his palm pressed against my hardening nipple.

“You feel so good,” he whispered against my ear.

“Does this place have a bed?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He stepped back and held out his hand to me. I took it and followed him down the long hallway that came off the right side of the front entrance, peeking inside the open doors of the rooms we passed. There were four bedrooms, each completely furnished. And then the master suite, a huge room that could fit the apartment I had just after college twice over. The furnishings were modern, the entertainment system state of the art. It was luxury that went far beyond anything I’d ever experienced.

And what came next…there were no words.

He undressed me as if I was a child, taking his time as he slowly unzipped the back of my dress, his lips skimming my spine as he slowly exposed it. And then he was on his knees. It was the second time he’d done this for me. This big, strong man who’d seen more hell than I could even imagine, on his knees for me. It made my heart tremble in my chest and made my knees grow week.

He slid my panties down, slowly, his lips again following the path the material created. When his hands were free, when I was standing naked and exposed to him in more ways than one, he cupped my ass in both hands, blowing on my moist cunt lips. I reached back and ran my fingers through his hair, encouraging him to move closer. To touch me again. And he did. But it was nibbles on my ass, on the top of my thigh. Not quite what I desperately wanted.

I pulled away from him and turned, sinking down onto the edge of the mattress. A slow smile slipped over his lips as he stood again, shrugging out of his tuxedo jacket. The shirt was next. He moved slowly, deliberately, careful to set his cuff links on top of the dresser so that they wouldn’t be lost. He kicked off his dress shoes and turned back to me, standing in front of me as he began to tug at the hook that kept his pants tight around his waist.

I helped him, tugging at the zipper, slipping my fingers inside and running my fingernails against the underside of his rigid cock. He closed his eyes for a second, but then his eyes were on me again.

“You are so beautiful,” he said.

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

He smiled again. “I don’t think I’ve gotten such a nice compliment.”

“I doubt that. I’m sure some of your clients—”

He groaned. “You’re not going to let that go, are you? Tell you one thing…”

I tugged at his pants, pulling them free and watching them slide slowly over his hips. Then I slid my hands under his boxer briefs, smiling when he groaned again.

“I want you,” I said softly.

He pushed me back against the mattress. “Say it again,” he said, as he climbed onto the bed, kneeling over me. “I want to hear you say it again.”

I reached up and touched his cheek. “I want you.”

He kissed me deeply, a kiss that was more than just a touch. It was one of those kisses that touched you in places that can’t be reached any other way. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him down to me, kneading my fingers into his muscles. He slid inside of me carefully, gently. And then he began to rock his hips. It was slow and gentle, less physical than it’d been before. This was the man who took my virginity, the love of my life who was so gentle, so caring. It was an experience so different from those of my friends that it made everything that came after pale in comparison. Not that much came after.

My heart just wasn’t in it. Donovan was…he was just Donovan.

***

That dream that I’d had the night before that left me feeling uneasy was back. It was a jumble of images, things I couldn’t grab even if I’d wanted to. And the truth was, I really didn’t want to. There was something that frightened me beyond words. I couldn’t begin to describe it.

It began at a diner in downtown Santa Monica that I frequented. I was sitting on the patio, as I often did, and someone joined me. I couldn’t see this person’s face, but I had a sudden sense that this person meant me harm. And then it shifted. I was inside a car and I needed to get out for reasons I didn’t know, but I couldn’t find a way out. The windows wouldn’t break and the doors wouldn’t open.

The dream shifted again. I was in the bank, laughing at something a customer had said. But then this overwhelming sense of dread washed over me and I began to scream with a terror that I could feel clear down to my bones.

“Kate! Wake up, Kate!”

I heard his voice, but I couldn’t make my eyes open. The panic was just overwhelming, making me feel as though I was drowning. I’d never had such a nightmare before. I had bad dreams, dreams about Joshua, but never anything like this.

“Kate!”

And then I was just conscious. I sat up, gasping for air. Donovan was behind me, his lips next to my ear.

“You’re okay, baby.”

I turned and threw my arms around him, burying my face against his shoulder. Feeling his arms around me dispelled some of the dread and the panic, but not all of it. It seemed to settle around my heart with big, long, cold fingers.

“You’re okay,” Donovan just kept whispering over and over again until I slowly began to believe him.

Donovan

“I’m the one who’s supposed to have the bad dreams,” I said, setting a cup of steaming coffee in front of Kate.

“Must be the crazy bomber who’s after me.”

“Maybe.”

I sat in a chair across from her, afraid if I was too close to her I would be too tempted to touch her. She looked up, a little smile telling me she understood.

“Tell me what you remember about that night.”

She shook her head. “I told you already.”

“No. You left something out.”

“Donovan—”

“You forget, I’m the one with the stellar lying ability. Not you.”

That small smile widened. “I remember you had the entire senior class convinced that you were related to Brad Pitt.”

I chuckled. “Yeah. Best three weeks of my life.”

She studied my face, then her eyes slowly fell to her cup of coffee.

“Tell me, Katie.”

She moved her hands restlessly for a moment. Then she sighed.

“I went back to the front door of the bank. I convinced Joe to come out and check the parking lot for me.” She shook her head. “If I’d just gone inside and called the police—”

“It’s not your fault, Kate.”

“Isn’t it? He wanted to stay inside. He wanted to call the cops. And now he’s dead and I’m—”

“On the run.”

She ran her hands over the outside of the coffee cup as if she was trying to warm them. And then she pushed back from the table, slamming her hand on the tabletop as she stood.

“Why can’t I remember? I must have seen his face! I must know who it is. But I can’t wrap my head around it…I just can’t—”

“It’s okay.”

I went to her and enveloped her in a bear hug. We stood like that for a long time. Then she pulled away and marched out of the room.

“Where are you going?”

“I need to be alone for a little while.”

I stood there and watched her disappear into the master suite, her spine straight, her shoulders square, but her head down.

I wished I knew what to do to take this away from her. But what could I do?

***

She went for a lot of walks in the woods behind the house for the first couple of days. I watched from the back deck, confident in the fact that this property was surrounded by several miles of electric fence so she was safe. Physically, anyway. But she was trying so hard to remember what happened that night that it was beginning to drive her a little crazy. And she wouldn’t talk to me about it, which was driving me a little crazy.

I grilled a few steaks on the barbecue while she walked. A bottle of wine and a nice salad to go along. I thought that maybe a nice meal might help her relax.

“Should we be drinking?” she asked when she joined me.

“Can’t imagine why not.”

She nodded, lifting the glass to her lips and taking the world’s smallest sip. But then her eyes widened and she took a much deeper swallow.

“That’s good.”

“Ash has many talents. I guess his dad taught him about wines when he was in his teens.”

“Kind of young, isn’t it?”

“Apparently the super wealthy live under a different set of rules than the rest of us mortals.”

A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips. She took another sip, closing her eyes and sighing as she did.

“How’d you meet him?” she asked. “I mean, obviously you met in the military. But what were the circumstances?”

“He was my warrant officer.”

“Warrant officer?”

“He was like the team leader’s second-in-command.”

She nodded, watching me with naked curiosity in her eyes.

“It was my second tour of duty and I was assigned to Ash’s team. We spent eighteen months together, him and me and the rest of our team. Did things…” I hesitated, but she didn’t seem to notice. “When I re-upped for another tour, I was assigned to the same team.”

“How many times did you go over there?”

“Four.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Why?”

I looked down at my glass of wine and swirled the bloody red liquid around the clear crystal bowl. I’d asked myself the same question a few times. But I never really came up with a satisfactory answer.

“I guess I didn’t have a reason not to.”

She didn’t say anything. I didn’t really think she would.

I got up to check the meat, turning it over to keep it from burning.

“What about the others. How do you know them?”

“I didn’t. Not until Ash called and said he was starting a security firm.”

“Really?”

“I’d heard of Kirkland. He was a Green Beret with another team. But, as you’ve seen, he tends to be memorable. People were talking about him over there, over here, talking about his charm and his recklessness. And, I guess, Ash reached out to him because of that.”

“What about Joss?”

“Ash knew her in boot camp.”

“Was she a Green Beret?”

I glanced at her. “Unfortunately, Uncle Sam doesn’t allow women to be Green Berets. But she would have made one hell of a team member.”

A cloud of jealousy floated across her eyes. Did she think my admiration of Joss meant something more than it did? Did she really care enough to be jealous?

She turned slightly and took another long drink from her glass. I picked up the bottle and carried it over to her, pouring her another healthy slug.

Drunk might not be such a bad thing for her tonight.

“Do you remember the summer the three of us spent at that summer camp in San Francisco?” she asked a couple of minutes later.

“I do.”

“Do you remember the sunburn I got that day on the beach? I was so arrogant; I thought I knew what I was doing when I went out there without sunscreen because I live on the beach in Santa Monica. And that counselor kept telling me it was different down there, that the overcast was sometimes worse than a bright, sunny day?”

“You spent the first night in the infirmary with tea packs on your back.”

“And you snuck in and sat with me until the pain pills the nurse gave me kicked in.”

“I stayed the whole night. I didn’t leave until I heard the nurse coming in the next morning.”

“Really?”

I nodded as I turned to lift the steaks off the grill. “I knew if I got caught, we’d both be on the first bus back home. So I climbed out the window, but my shoe got caught on the sill. I thought for sure we were screwed.”

“How did you get out?”

“Shoe popped loose at the last second.”

“Lucky.”

“Always was back then.”

I set a plate in front of her and took a seat across from her, cutting into my steak to make sure I hadn’t overdone it.

“I think that’s when I started to think of you as more than just my brother’s bad-boy friend.”

I looked up. “That was eighth grade.”

“It was.”

She blushed a little as she turned her attention to her food.

We both ate a few bites before she finally looked up at me again.

“Did you ever tell Joshua about us?” she asked.

I studied her face, wondering if she really wanted to know. Then I leaned back, setting my utensils down on the edge of the plate.

“I started to a couple of times, but it seemed like something always interrupted.”

“I did, too. But I would chicken out right before the words came out. I didn’t want him to look at you different, you know?”

I nodded. “I didn’t want him to feel differently about you.”

“Do you think he ever suspected?”

I thought about all the times we would steal kisses whenever Joshua left the room, how many times he came back sooner than we expected and found us sitting too close together. There’d been a lot of that the last few months of school. A lot of excuses and outright lies.

“He might have, but if he did, he never said anything to me.”

“Me either.” She pushed the greens around her plate as though she’d lost her appetite. “I regret not telling him.”

“Why?”

She shrugged. “I think he had a right to know.”

I picked up my fork and knife, slicing into the meat again.

Before graduation night, I couldn’t remember a time when Joshua wasn’t a part of my life. I knew, logically, that there were seven years before that were empty. Seven years when I was alone with my parents and the succession of nannies they hired, always seeking that one nanny that would manage to allow them to forget they’d sired offspring at all. I knew there’d been loneliness and boredom. But I couldn’t really remember it.

Joshua was outgoing and free spirited. He was the complete opposite of me those first few years. However, there was something about being in his presence that helped me become something more than the scared little boy who went out of his way to avoid his parents’ displeasure even though it was often impossible. I pissed my parents off by simply existing. Being Joshua’s friend showed me that it wasn’t my fault, that I didn’t have to define myself by my parents’ narcissism.

She was right. He had the right to know.

“Do you regret it?” I asked. “What happened between us in high school?”

Her fork stilled on the plate. “I thought I did,” she said softly. “For a long time, I was so angry at you that I thought I did. But now…I’m not sure I do.”

“For what it’s worth, I don’t.”

She looked at me, her eyes shimmering with tears.

“It’s worth a lot.”

We stared at each other for a long moment, and I got lost in those eyes, in her eyes. I remembered that she once asked me why it was that I liked to look at her so much. I told her it was because she was beautiful. But it was more than that. Looking at her made me feel like I’d found the home I’d been searching for almost since birth. Looking at her made me feel safe. The expression in her eyes when she looked at me, when she stared at me with this sort of adoration, finished whatever it was Joshua’s friendship began. She was my future, and as long as she was by my side I knew it was a good future.

For the first time since then, I felt that way again.