Don't... (46 page)

Oh cheers, luv
. Bet it pissed her off no end then when I’d stood there and called her a gentleman back at Jan’s.

“Yet you stood in my office when those photos came in of Ben,” said Gray, “of my other Doms, my subs, and you said nothing.”

“I stood in your office and said nothing
because
I’d seen those photos,” Jess said, all the fight seeming to drain out of her voice. “I couldn’t stop that; I’d have only ended up as another photo if I’d tried to. My best option was getting you in the same room and letting you deal.”

“Despite everything I could have lost.”

“Well, Jan had already said it,” replied Jess, now a touch colder. “Jack’s a tough bastard. That just left Jan, who, no offence here, is as vanilla-soft as they come.” She fell quiet for a moment. “But bloody gorgeous for it in the process.”

Gray would have done his checks, but the rest would have come by instinct if those checks had come up all clear; I think it pissed him off he thought he’d called it wrong like I had. But I knew he’d ease off on Jess without having to look. Yeah, he could be a bastard, but he wasn’t unreasonable.

“So,” I said quietly to Jan, “you love me, huh?”

His eyes flickered to me, and a frown touched his brow. I kissed it gently knowing he was as scared as fuck and not with me yet, and a breath brushed my ear as I heard Gray whisper, “Keep him down.”

I kissed Jan on the lips, and at first he didn’t respond. Then he tuned in a little as I hardened my press of lips and finally allowed me access. I didn’t know how long I kissed him there; I know people moved about, housecleaning? Masters? To be honest, I couldn’t give a fuck. Jan was beneath me, and he was pretty easy to become lost in.

“I like Gray’s touch too,” I heard breathed into my kiss.

“Hmmm?”

“Gray,” said Jan. “It fucks with my head, Jack, but I like him touching me too.”

I smiled, then shrugged. “Kind of hard not to, huh?”

“Jack?”

“Hmmmm?”

“You’re bleeding on me.”

“Oh, sorry,” I said, still against his lips, “you want me to go bleed over in the corner somewhere?”

A gentle thump hit my ribs. “No, you ass, you’re bleeding on me and your hard-on’s digging into my thigh. Anyone tell you you’re a kinky bastard?”

I chuckled at that. “It’s been mentioned, once, maybe twice. But your virtue’s safe. Seems I was fucked senseless a while back, so it’s all just show and bravado on my part.”

A gentle touch brushed the back of my neck, a stroke; then Jan lifted my face away, his other hand under my jaw.

“You walked; I thought he’d taken you.” His eyes were hard.

My turn to frown. “I went to Essex.”

The grip tightened on my jaw, hurting. “You had two photos, Jack. We had a pile of them sent to different Doms and subs....” I saw the tear that fell. “Two Doms and one sub were murdered, cut up.” Then he was back with being angry. “I thought—”

I kissed him again, then held him as tight as I could. “Essex,” I whispered quietly, “I was...” Closing my eyes, I kissed his head. “I’m sorry.” I hadn’t known. My goddamn stubborn ass hadn’t known, and I got a shove at my shoulders that pushed me away again.

“Yeah,” he said, an angry bite to his voice. “I love you, you fucking ass.”

I offered a smile down to try and win him over a little. “But you like being touched by Gray too, huh?”

Jan shrugged and finally managed a ghost-like smile. “Guess it’s hard not to, huh?” I felt a hand gently slip down onto my ass. “And I think I found my kink with us both loving your ass.”

“You know that hurts, right?”

“Yeah?” said Jan, and my breath caught feeling him swell against me. “Is it so wrong to get a kick out of that thought?” He looked so innocent asking that.

“Didn’t you just do a whole speech over not wanting to hurt me?”

Jan grinned up, and he was more himself now. More mine. “Gray brought back that look, that very first one I saw when I met you. You didn’t know whether to rip off our heads before, after, or during us fucking you.”

“I draw a line at necrophilia and snuff, you know that, right? I mean, you did read my contract?”

Jan’s eyes narrowed. “What happened in Essex, Jack?”

I tensed; Jan saw it too. Christ, I thought I’d managed to ditch surveillance before Essex. How? “Jan,” My turn to frown. “Just don’t go Gray on me, okay?” I told him what I’d done, who I’d nearly done, and he just looked up at me, saying nothing, listening, but saying nothing. I kept out the details over the hotel and the OCD blackout; Jan didn’t need to know that.

“You—” I started to ask him if he was okay, but a call of my name drew my attention.

“Come on you. Up,” said Gray, and a grip to my arm pulled me off Jan. Hands under my jaw turned me away from Jan to Gray, and I frowned as he searched my eyes as if looking for something. Fuck, was he after details on Essex too?

“How many fingers?”

He held the offending digits up. “Two.” I narrowed my eyes. There was a fuzzy third just off to the right, but I wasn’t about to tell him that. I needed to see if Jan was all right with me. “I’m fine.”

“No you’re not, you lying fuck.” Turning my head slightly, Gray started fingering through my hair, just above my temple, and I winced as he made the world spin.

I glanced at him, seeing the concentration in his eyes. “How the hell did you miss Mark?” I said quietly. Gray flicked a look at me and I mumbled, “You were investigating Cutter back then. How did you miss that copper’s son being involved in all of this?”

For a moment, I didn’t think he’d break all that confidentiality, even though it was eleven years ago, but eventually he sighed. “My department had just been called in, Jack. I was gathering information from Mark’s father for the first time that night when I met you.” He cursed, not looking happy at whatever he’d found under his touch. I know my skull didn’t like it. “When Cutter was taken into custody just twenty-four hours later,” he mumbled, “my focus was back on countering the illegal drug importation he and other two-bit fucks like him were banding together to fund. Cutter’s ring had been disbanded, no other intelligence came in on anyone slipping under the net.” Gray narrowed his eyes. “Even eleven years later. Seems some fathers will do anything to protect their kids.”

“You think his dad withheld information? He knew?”

“I’m beginning to suspect so. Your old man knew, Jack.” He made me look at him. “Didn’t matter how much you tried to protect him from the facts, he knew.” I briefly closed my eyes only to have Gray cup the back of my neck with his hand and pull my head to his.

“You love me, huh?” he said quietly.

I managed an eyeroll, then regretted it feeling a little sick. “When you’re not a bastard.”

Gray gave a wicked smile. “Especially when I’m a bastard, Jack.”

I kissed him, hard, fast, forcing him back a few paces, not even noticing the pain on my split lip. “Yeah,” I whispered against his kiss, “I’d do the bastard. Always.” then I pulled away just as quick, more than hard below, only to hear Gray chuckle.

“Jack, what I love about you,” he said quietly, “even after nine years, after screwing you in every position going, you still blush around me.”

Yeah, I could blush. Boy could I blush.

Both of us noticed Jan was up and he’d let his gaze run to the hall floor. A sigh, Gray did much the same as he had with me and, hand on the back of Jan’s neck, he pulled him in to rest his head against Jan’s. “The interpreter,” he mumbled to Jan. “You’re a very special person, Jan.” Gray gave a gentle kiss, then lengthened it. Partly a diversion tactic, maybe something else altogether (agreed acceptance?) and Jan closed his eyes and gave Gray all of his agreed acceptance.

“Fuck.” They both looked at me as I swore, and I looked down, confused as to how my dick reacted seeing them together. “Being as it’s a ‘give Jack everything he needs’ day, can,” I looked at them both. “Maybe we could get the fuck home now, okay?” Fuck. I needed to...
accept
a few things too. Home. Yeah, my dick—I—needed home.

“You think it’s that easy?” said Jan, and he looked at Gray. “Jack’s got a few confessions to make.”

I lost all life below the waist seeing Gray raise a brow in my direction.

“Mmmm,” said Jan. “Seems the dog tried to cock his leg a few times up the wrong lamppost while he was away, and there was us, worrying whether he’d been caught and cut.”

“Jan, for fuckssake,” I growled quietly at him, but Jan just smirked.

“I said
I
wouldn’t hurt you. That doesn’t mean I won’t let Gray step in when it comes to your fuck-ups, Jack.”

“Buh—” I was speechless. Almost. “You—you slept with Jess.”

“Ohhh,” purred Gray. “It was in the contract that Jan take someone else if at any point he thought he was a danger to you. You didn’t read all of the contract, did you, Jack?”

The shock must have shown on my face because Jan rubbed his hands together like a kid let out for the summer holidays. “Violation,” he said, and Gray nodded.

“Indeed.” He eyed me thoughtfully. “And just by how much did you fuck-up your contract, Jack?”

“A kiss, maybe two. Nothing more.”

“Up an alley with a guy in a kilt, and a fumble on the bed with a nineteen-year-old kid from his garage,” said Jan, and I gave him a
thanks, luv
glare.

Gray didn’t look impressed, in fact repulsed came to mind. “An alley? Jack, seriously?”

The lump in my throat was suddenly painful to swallow. “You know I’ve got a bad head?” I said to him quickly. “Not to mention the agony my ass is already going through because of you two, which, by the way, you pushed even my limits today. That’s the first time I—”

“And?” said Gray, folding his arms.

“That, well, you should go easy, you know—extenuating circumstance and all that.” I really couldn’t stomach losing any more skin off my back.

“Oh,” said Gray, his voice low and dangerous, “I promise neither I nor Jan will lay a hand on you, extenuating circumstances taken into full consideration, and all that.”

“You sure you want to do this?” Jack sat cross-legged on the floor holding out one of three files, two of which were just inches from his knees. He was facing the settee, looking up at me and Gray. I was nestled in with my back to Gray, his arms wrapped loosely around my waist, chin resting on my shoulder as we watched Jack.

Two days since we’d been in that hall, and Jack’s head was healing nicely. The pistol-whip with the gun had kept him in the MC’s infirmary for forty-eight hours with concussion and a few stitches not visible in his hairline. I smiled. I’d met Steve for the second time in there, and he seemed a little startled with the “private healthcare” Jack was receiving. After Gray had convinced him that it was coming out of Gray’s pocket and not the garage’s, he’d settled, and his concern had turned to Jack. Not that Jack had let Steve forget the matter, and he’d threatened to sack him for his selfishness. Steve had then reminded Jack that it was he who had pulled his “Sorry ass out of the shit” in Essex. And strange enough, Jack had shut up then.

I had to admit it; I liked Steve.

There had been an awkward moment when Jack had introduced me as his boyfriend, which Steve rolled his eyes and went
oh-kay
, to which Jack then also introduced Gray as his boyfriend, and Steve went,
huh
? Where Gray had this soft smile on his face, Steve had eventually shrugged his shoulders and said, “Never known you to do things by half, Jack.” And, “For godssake don’t get Sam involved in that, ’cause his head is screwed with having one guy nearly in his ass already.” That had left Jack mortified and blushing like crazy as he’d buried head in his hands.

Like I said; I liked the guy.

I’d asked Jack if he wanted me to get in touch with his father, but he’d gone quiet, then shook his head. There was a lot of history between Jack, Gray, and his dad. One that Jack’s silence said he didn’t want to disturb with this. I understood, partly. Families came as a balancing act at the best of times, no matter how much you loved them.

Nobody mentioned anything to Jack about Steve sending Gray those photos, and strangely enough, Jack hadn’t questioned it either. Kind of like how I hadn’t asked what had happened to Mark Shaw’s body, and his henchmens’. There were some questions you just didn’t ask Gray, and that seemed to suit him just fine. The only question Jack had asked, and it must have been really bothering him, was if any of Mark’s video footage had been found. Jack had looked really uncomfortable asking, and Gray didn’t seem to know what to say for a minute. Then he’d opted for telling Jack that all files on Mark’s computer had been destroyed, but there was something about the look that Gray gave me that told me none had been found. Maybe Gray had decided it was best for Jack to go on thinking the footage was destroyed if there was any. It wasn’t worth upsetting Jack’s need to order things, and I agreed with that.

Now we’d been back for an hour, choosing Jack’s house to give him the comfort of familiar surroundings. From what Steve had said, Jack had been in much the same head fuck place as Gray and I, only his triggers over a lid to some toothpaste were slightly more alarming. Familiarity and comfort were a priority, but it touched something deep in me, and from how quiet Gray was now, it touched him too with just how vulnerable Jack could be. So, to celebrate getting him back in one piece, I’d asked Gray to bring the contracts over.

“Yeah,” I said to Jack’s earlier question. “I want this.” I took the contract from his hand, felt how thin it was, all the trouble it had brought, and ripped it up.

“No more collar?” Jack looked hopeful and relieved and anxious all at the same time.

“No,” I said, and a kiss brushed my neck from Gray. I think I understood Gray’s reservations about not collaring Jack. Jack had seemed to love the idea at first, but when I’d given him that first command to put it on, he’d wanted to bolt as it seemed to tie him more to his conduct disorder instincts than he realised. Gray knew Jack; I had to accept that he knew him better than I did. And now that just left Jack’s and Gray’s contracts, how they personally viewed this unique understanding we had with each other.