Don’t Deny Me: Part Three (2 page)

There’d been girls before Alice and a few after, but he’d never done that for any of them. Held on that way. He didn’t pull those unsent letters out to read them now, but he remembered all too well the words in them. He’d been angry. Pleading. Contrite. Sarcastic. Despondent. Vengeful, too.

This time around was going to be different.

In high school, his teacher had been adamant about making a rough draft before the final copy. There was something to be said for that, but in letter writing, Mick had found the first words were the best words. Okay, so maybe he spelled some things wrongs, or scratched them out, or repeated things. He wasn’t an author, just a guy trying to get his girl back.

First words, he thought. Best ones.

Dear Alice,
he wrote.
I wish you were here.

* * *

Today I was onsite and stopped at a little deli for lunch. I got an egg salad sandwich because the last time I was at your place, you were boiling eggs to make some. I didn’t get to try any of your extra-special egg salad, and I’m pretty sure this deli’s didn’t even come close, but it was a pretty good sandwich, anyway. By the time you get this letter the weekend will probably have come and gone, and I’ll already have been able to say this to your face, but in case something weird has happened and the zombie apocalypse came or something like that (which is the only thing that would prevent me from seeing you) I wanted to send you this letter and tell you this … I ate egg salad today because it made me think of you.

—Mick to Alice

* * *

There were good days, and there were bad days. This was one of the bad ones. Wendy had called Alice at work, asking her to come over to help out with the kids for a few hours until her husband Raj could make it back from an unexpected business meeting.

Alice didn’t usually mind helping out with her niece and nephew. They were the light of her life, those two punkins, but Alice didn’t envy her sister’s domestic bliss. Alice had known for a long time she probably never wanted children of her own. She loved Benjamin and Mallory, but pregnancy, childbirth, diapers, toddlers … all of that was much better experienced vicariously and from afar. And the husband thing seemed great, except of course when it didn’t.

“Go take a shower,” she told Benjamin, and gave Mallory a significant look. “You’re next.”

The twins, age six, were pretty good about the bedtime ritual, even on the exciting days when Auntie came over. Tonight they’d already finished up their dinner and watched a movie. Alice was willing to let them stay up an hour later to read in their rooms, a treat they giggled over like it was a conspiracy. They didn’t know their mom was on board with it.

When both kids had bathed and been tucked into their beds, and Raj not yet home, Alice went into her sister’s bedroom. Wendy was in bed, a damp cloth over her eyes preventing her from watching the TV, which was muttering in the corner. She shifted when Alice came in, but Alice shushed her.

“Don’t get up. How’s the head?”

Wendy waved a languid hand. “Hurts. Meds help.”

Alice sat on the edge of her sister’s bed. “No kidding. How about you share some of that good stuff with your favorite sister?”

The comment earned a laugh, weak but genuine. Getting hit by a truck had left Wendy prone to migraines, what the doctors often called cluster headaches. They hit her without warning, not set off by normal triggers, and left her basically unable to function normally until they faded. Alice had been left with scars, but her sister had suffered worse long-term effects.

“The kids in bed?”

“Yeah. Reading. Can I get you anything?” Alice yawned, thinking about heading home. Thinking about staying. The distance from here to work was the same as from home, and she’d brought an overnight bag as always, just in case she didn’t feel like making the drive.

Wendy tugged the cloth up a little bit to peek out. “A new brain?”

“Girl, you’ve needed one of those since you were born.”

“Don’t make me laugh,” Wendy protested weakly but laughed anyway. Some color came back into her cheeks. That was good.

“What time’s Raj supposed to get home?”

Wendy sighed. “I don’t know. They have him on this huge project, and he wasn’t supposed to need to be at any of these meetings, but … you see how that worked out.”

“No worries. I can stay, if you want. I don’t have anything going on at home.” Alice paused, thinking of Mick.

They’d talked last night, as they’d done every night for the past two weeks. They’d returned to at least one old habit, their daily “good nights,” though these days they were often made via video chat or text instead of instant message. They’d spent the past weekend together, too, some of it in bed, but most of it actually doing things that were not clothing optional.

She wasn’t sure what she thought about all of it. Not yet. Too early.

She had a letter from him in her bag. It had been waiting for her when she got home from seeing him, and she hadn’t read it yet. In the times of almost instant digital communication, the old-fashioned letters were special. A treat. The anticipation of it was like knowing she had a piece of gourmet chocolate waiting for her. She wanted to savor it.

She hadn’t yet told Wendy she and Mick were making another go of things.

“You don’t have to. You can if you want to.” Wendy yawned. “I’m going to sleep, soon. I hope.”

Alice stood. “Want me to turn off the TV?”

“No. Hey. Sit a minute.” Wendy patted the bed next to her. “What’s going on with you?”

“Huh? Nothing.” Alice sat.

Wendy smiled. “Don’t lie to me. I can hear it in your voice. You’re bursting to tell me something. What is it? Spill!”

“God, it’s like you got Spidey senses or something going on in there,” Alice said. “Maybe your head hurts so often because you’re having, like, psychic waves.”

Wendy laughed again, harder this time. “I wish.”

Alice thought for a moment about what to say. Wendy had been with her through the breakup, but then her sister had been with her through all her breakups. Alice shouldn’t be embarrassed to tell her she’d been hooking up with Mick again.

“Mick,” she said suddenly, and couldn’t bring herself to say anything else.

Wendy waited, but when Alice didn’t say anything, she took the cloth off her eyes. “What about him?”

“He was at Bernie and Cookie’s the last time I went.”

Wendy’s brows rose. “Did you know he was going to be there?”

“Yeah. They told me he’d been invited.”

Wendy’s mouth twisted. “And you went anyway?”

“It was their anniversary party. It’s been years. I figured it would be okay.”

“And? Was it?”

“We … um …” Alice coughed. “We’re … um …”

“Oh, my God,” Wendy said, sitting up in bed fast enough to wince and fall back on the pillows with a groan. “You and Mick?”

“Hey, take it easy. You don’t want to set it off again. You need another pill?” Alice opened the bedside drawer to look for the medicine bottle, but Wendy waved her away.

“I’ll be fine. It’s fading, thank God. But you and Mick. I, wow. Can’t believe it. That guy broke you, Alice. I mean, really broke you.” Wendy paused. “Sorry, but it’s the truth.”

“I know. Believe me, I remember.”

Wendy’s eyes widened a little. “How did this even happen? I mean at the party, sure, but then … ?”

“He showed up at my house.”

“Oh.” Wendy paused. “He likes to do that, huh? That’s only a little creepy.”

Alice burst into laughter. “Stop!”

“I’m just saying.” Wendy grinned.

“He said he wanted me more than he’s ever wanted any woman. Ever.”

Wendy didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “Wow. That’s something, huh?”

“It’s dick feelings,” Alice said flatly. “Dick feelings don’t count.”

“How do
you
feel about it?”

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. I went there for the weekend. He was there. The second I saw him, it was like I’d been in a dark room and someone came in and turned on all the lights.” Alice blinked rapidly, remembering. “Only it didn’t hurt my eyes. It just made me able to see everything that had been in shadows before.”

“Oh, shit,” Wendy said softly.

“Yeah. So. For now I’m just seeing what happens. I mean, people don’t change, do they?”

“Sure they do. All the time.” Wendy patted Alice’s hand.

“I don’t feel like I have.”

Wendy made a face, gingerly, as though it hurt. “Has he? That might be the important question.”

“He’s trying hard to act like he has.”

“Well,” Wendy said. “There’s that.”

Alice’s phone chirped from her pocket and she slid it out, anticipating a text from Mick. It was Bill. She swiped the screen to see the message, laughed a little, and typed out a quick reply. When she looked up, Wendy was staring.

“Was that him?”

“No, that was some other guy. Bill. I met him a few weeks ago. He keeps texting me,” Alice said.

“Are you seeing him?”

“I’ve seen him,” Alice said. “A couple of times. Not recently. Not since Mick. But I don’t have to stop talking to Bill just because Mick suddenly decided he made a huge mistake and wants me back,” Alice said.

“You don’t have to explain that to me.” Wendy reached for the glass of water on the nightstand and sipped it. “Nothing wrong with keeping your options open.”

“It’s not … I’m not …” Alice shut up. There was no point in lying to her sister, even if she’d been lying to herself. “I like Bill.”

“That’s okay.”

Alice shook her head. “No. I mean, yes, it’s okay to like him. He’s nice. He makes me laugh.”

“But he’s no Mick.”

“He also didn’t roll over my heart in an eighteen wheeler, then put it in reverse so he could back up and roll over it again,” Alice said darkly.

Wendy smiled. “He could, though. Right?”

“Anyone could. But Mick already did.” Alice frowned.

“So … tell me again why you’re seeing Mick?”

Alice sighed and fell back on the bed with a groan. “You know why.”

Wendy started to giggle. “Mick has the magic peen!”

Alice frowned, but there was no denying it. Mick McManus had a cock made of magic, and she couldn’t get enough of it. The question was, would that be enough?

* * *

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Ewan.

Ewan who?

Nobody. It’s just me.

—Alice to Mick

* * *

“So, did it work?”

Mick turned away from the coffeepot, then grinned when he saw Jay. Mick clapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, man. I didn’t know you were coming to the office first. Yeah, yeah! It worked. I went to her house, did the whole grand gesture thing. It absolutely worked. Thanks.”

Jay looked thoughtful, but shrugged. “Good.”

“What?”

“I’m just surprised, that’s all. I mean, it’s great, don’t get me wrong. I’m glad.” Jay grabbed a mug and held it out. “Can I get one of those?”

Mick filled both mugs. “Why are you surprised? You’re the one who told me what to do.”

“I did. I just didn’t think it would actually work.” Jay sipped and grimaced. “The coffee here is shit, you know that? You want to grab something on the way to the site?”

Mick wasn’t going to argue with that. He dumped his mug and headed for his office, Jay following. “Yeah. Let me grab my stuff. You want to drive together?”

“Sure. I’ve got some plans later back this direction. That’s why I stopped in here first. You want to go in my car?”

“Nah, I got it.” Mick stopped to grab his keys, then took another minute to hop on his computer and check to see if Alice had answered his instant message. She’d been sending him goofy knock-knock jokes all morning. The punchline to this one made him laugh under his breath. He typed out a quick response, then waited for the little pencil icon to show up in the box to alert him that Alice was typing a reply. She wasn’t, so he shut down his computer and looked at Jay. “Ready?”

Some onsites were simple fixes. Swoop in like a superhero, take care of the issues, clean up the mess. Some, like this one, were an insane pain in the ass. Because Mick worked on the tech side and Jay on the management side, it took both of them almost the entire day to get the situation in this branch back on track, and only then because Mick was able to call in a last-minute order for some new conference room equipment the branch manager insisted he’d requested a month before and needed for the client meeting next week.

“You earned your bonus,” Jay told him when they’d finally put everything back on track for this branch’s reopening and were heading back to Mick’s office. “Hey, you want to grab a drink? I’ve got some time to kill before my date.”

Mick, feeling accomplished about the day’s work, had been tapping the steering wheel to the beat of the song on the radio. Now he gave Jay a sideways look. “Date, huh?”

“Yeah. New guy.”

Mick wasn’t one to get in anyone’s business, but this startled him. “What happened with Paul? I thought you two were back together.”

Jay was silent for a minute. Mick concentrated on driving. Jay would talk when he was ready.

“Ten years is a long time to let someone treat you like shit, over and over,” Jay said finally. Stiffly. Like the words hurt coming out. “I got tired of being treated like shit.”

“I don’t blame you, man.”

Jay made a disgusted sound. “Anyway, let him do what he wants, with whoever he wants. I’m done.”

They went to a sports bar near Mick’s office. Jay’s date was meeting him there and would give him a ride back to his car later. They settled into a booth, ordered some drinks and food. While Jay answered a message from his date, Mick checked his phone.

Nothing from Alice.

He sent her a message anyway, just a quick forward of a funny picture he’d gleaned from his newsfeed. It was in the spirit of the knock-knock jokes from earlier that day. She replied with a laughing emoticon, and before he had time to say more, Jay had put away his phone, and the drinks had arrived.

They talked about work for a few minutes before the conversation turned to the next weekend at Bernie and Cookie’s house. They’d planned their traditional big Fourth of July party. Mick hadn’t talked to Alice yet about going, but Jay wasn’t sure he was going to make it.