Read Don't Even Think About It Online
Authors: Sarah Mlynowski
Pi called an Espies meeting for Monday before school. She texted us all the night before, instructing us to meet her in the chess room at seven-thirty. It was early. Very early.
But we all showed up—all except Cooper.
We weren’t surprised. He was never on time, and anyway, he kind of hated us right then.
“He doesn’t hate you,” Mackenzie said, sipping on a Starbucks pumpkin spice latte. “He hates me.”
We nodded.
“He just needs some alone time,” Nick explained.
Pi paced the room. “Okay, people, I want to chat about our booth at the carnival on Saturday. We have a bit of a problem.”
Once a year, BHS students put on a carnival in the gym to raise money for the library. Every homeroom had a booth. The entire neighborhood came by to support the school.
“What?” we asked.
We’re supposed to do the fortune-telling booth.
We laughed. We couldn’t help it.
“So what?” Courtney asked.
“We can’t tell people their fortunes,” Pi said. “We’d give ourselves away.”
Nick shook his head. “Am I missing something? Did we develop clairvoyance when I wasn’t paying attention?”
“No, we didn’t,” Pi said. “At least I didn’t. No one else did, did they?”
We shook our heads.
Pi looked at Mackenzie suspiciously.
I bet she can’t really hear through walls.
I can.
Whatever,
thought Pi. “The fortune-teller booth is still too risky. Reading minds. Telling fortunes. Too close. We should do something else.”
She gives us a few test answers and she thinks she’s in charge?
“I
am
in charge,” Pi said huffily. “I don’t see anyone else taking the leadership role. And we need a leader. If someone else thinks he or she could do a better job, please feel free to step up.”
We looked at each other and shrugged.
“We should have a nail-polish booth,” Jordana chirped.
“11C is doing nail polish,” Sadie said. “Keith’s homeroom. They’re also doing back massages.”
Good thing they’re not doing a kissing booth. Keith would scare everyone away.
Shut up!
BJ groaned. “A kissing booth! Why didn’t we think of that?”
“What about bobbing for apples?” asked Anojah, squinting at the rest of us. She was always squinting without her glasses.
Brinn mumbled something.
“What?” Pi barked. “Can you just think, please? I can’t understand you when you talk.”
Brinn rolled her eyes.
Whatever you say, Polly. Do you know that your real name means “bitter”?
I’d prefer you call me Pi, thank you very much.
“Who gave you that nickname, anyway?” Levi asked.
“My fourth-grade teacher,” Pi said, but first she thought,
I gave it to myself.
We all smirked.
“What I was trying to say,” Brinn said super-slowly, “is that we already got approval for the fortune-teller booth. It’s too late to change.”
“Argh,” Pi groaned. “Well, then, our fortune-teller needs to be someone who can’t read minds. So we don’t give ourselves away.”
We all thought it at the same time—Renée. There wasn’t much choice.
“So we’re settled?” Pi asked. “Someone tell Renée.”
I guess that’s me,
Olivia thought.
Pi banged her fists on the table. “Good.”
Were her eyes always purple?
Pi turned around. “What was that?”
Dave stared more closely at Pi. “Your eyes are looking purplish.”
She motioned to her blue shirt. “They’re blue. Maybe it’s the shirt.”
Daniel looked at her a little more closely. “No, I don’t think that’s it.”
“You know,” Levi said, “I’ve noticed that my eyes are getting a little purple too.”
Maybe you’ve been eating too many purple jelly beans,
Courtney thought.
“Does anyone have a mirror?” Pi asked. “Jordana?”
What, I’m so vain that I must have a mirror?
Yes,
thought Pi,
exactly.
My money’s on Jordana having a mirror.
What’s the big deal?
Anojah wondered.
I have a mirror.
But does Jordana?
I really want to say I don’t,
Jordana thought.
But I do.
She pulled out a silver Kate Spade compact mirror and handed it to Pi.
Just in case I ever have spinach in my teeth.
If she’d had spinach in her teeth, we would have noticed. And she would have heard us noticing it. But anyway.
Pi studied her reflection.
My eyes are vaguely purple. How did I not notice that?
You clearly don’t spend enough time in front of a mirror,
Jordana thought, and a bunch of us giggled.
“Some of us have more important things to worry about than how we look,” Pi snapped. “Is this happening to anyone else?”
We checked out each other’s eyes. Tess’s were still brown. So were Olivia’s. She stopped at Mackenzie’s. “Yours have a purplish glint.”
“They do?”
“The purple eyes must have something to do with the ESP,” Tess said.
Pi snorted.
Thank you, Captain Obvious.
I knew we were turning into vampires,
thought Edward.
“We are not turning into vampires!” Jordana screamed.
“We’ll see,” said Edward.
“I don’t want my eyes to turn purple,” Rayna whined. “I like my eyes the way they are.”
Purple eyes are seriously weird.
Creepy.
I think it’s cool.
Better than the boring brown color I have now.
I was thinking of getting colored contacts, but this is free.
Pi needed time to think about it. “I guess there’s nothing we can do but—”
Keep an eye on it?
Olivia thought.
BJ and Tess laughed.
Pi gave a tight smile. Having purple eyes was highly unusual. It would certainly set them apart from everyone else.
Mackenzie’s next thought said it all:
It means we won’t be able to keep this a secret.
Mackenzie was not having a good week. No one was talking to her, at least not out loud.
It had started on the way to homeroom on Monday. Tess was wearing her favorite jeans and a new pair of boots.
No tall boots with those jeans,
thought Mackenzie.
Why can’t she see it makes her thighs look huge?
It was involuntary. Mackenzie would never have said such a mean thing in a million years. But Tess snapped, “You really do think I’m fat, don’t you? You think it all the time.”
“I do not!”
“You think I should lose ten pounds! You know I’m a perfectly healthy weight, but you think this kind of crap all the time. It’s like you’re siding with my mom.”
“Your mom is crazy. I’m not siding with her,” Mackenzie said, but she couldn’t help thinking,
Eight pounds, maybe.
“You are such a liar,” Tess said, shaking her head.
At least my mom tells me what she thinks, ugly as it is.
Instead of sitting with Mackenzie in homeroom, Tess went to the front of the class and sat next to Olivia, of all people. When had she ever spoken to Olivia?
At least Olivia doesn’t think I’m a pig,
Tess barked.
“I don’t think you’re a pig!” Mackenzie yelled. Of course we all heard.
And then weighed in.
No pun intended.
She’s definitely not a pig. I think she’s pretty.
She’s okay.
She could lose five pounds.
But what if it was five pounds of boobs? That would be a travesty. She has good boobs.
You could lose five pounds.
Me? I’m a growing boy.
Leave her alone.
Can’t you judge a girl on her brains? Or her sense of humor?
Do you want her to become anorexic?
Then she’d definitely have no boobs. Or ass. And her ass looks hot in those jeans. She’s bootilicious.
You are an animal, BJ.
I’m a healthy, normal, growing boy.
Was that a double entendre?
Double what? Think English.
Gross.
Tess was horrified.
Mackenzie sat through homeroom by herself.
Now everyone thought she was a horrible slut
and
a bad friend.
And Mackenzie couldn’t help agreeing. She was a terrible friend. She was a terrible girlfriend. She missed Cooper so much she ached. She never thought she’d miss him this much. How could she have cheated on him? How could she have been so careless about their relationship? Why hadn’t she told him—fought for him—when she’d had the chance?
When she got back her English essay during sixth period, she was reminded that not only was she a bad friend and girlfriend, she was dumb too.
C
-
.
With the note:
More effort, please! And hand it in on time!
The only thing Mackenzie was good at was being pretty.
By the end of Tuesday, Mackenzie was exhausted and miserable. Plus it was raining.
She staggered back to her apartment and into her elevator. She pressed the
close
button so she wouldn’t get stuck listening to the crazy foreign thoughts of one of the many Parisians who lived in her building. Nothing was more annoying than listening to someone rant in a language she couldn’t understand.
The door started to close when a knapsack swung inside.
A gray knapsack.
She knew that knapsack.
It was Bennett’s. Which meant—
“Hey,” he said, his voice husky.
“Hey,” she replied, heart instantly in her throat.
He raised an eyebrow. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”
She tried to sound cool. “I’ve been around.”
“We must keep missing each other.”
She felt him checking her out.
She’s looking hot. Maybe she’ll come over?
“So what are you up to today?” he asked.
Was he serious? Did he really think she was going to run into his arms after what had happened the past summer? “Not hanging out with you,” she snapped.
He laughed. “Am I that obvious?” He reached over and tugged at her sleeve. The touch made her jump.
“Yes?” she said.
She seems mad at me.
Was she? It wasn’t his fault that she’d hooked up with him. It wasn’t his fault she was weak. He never made her any promises. He was single. He’d never done anything wrong, really.
The elevator stopped on her floor. “Wait—it missed you. Aren’t you on fifteen?”
He glanced at the panel. “Oops. Forgot to press it. I was distracted by your beauty.”
“What a charmer,” she said, stepping out.
I’m not giving up yet. This time I won’t blow her off for Victoria. I’m done being played by that crazy chick.
He held the elevator open with his hand. “What are you up to tonight?”
Victoria? Who was Victoria? Had he blown her off because he’d been pining after some girl? “Test tomorrow,” she said eventually. It wasn’t a lie. She did have a physics test. Too bad Pi wasn’t in her class. But Jon Matthews was. She refused to sit next to him, though.
She was done with cheating.
We must admit, we were impressed with her ethical resolve. Even if it was too little, too late.
Bennett held the elevator door open. “And this weekend?”
“Carnival,” she said.
The elevator banged against his hand and then reopened. “Right. And next weekend is your Sweet. I got your invite.”
Oh God. She’d forgotten that she’d sent him an invite. She’d done it weeks earlier, before everything had happened.
Why had she sent him one? It wasn’t long after they’d hooked up. She’d already started to feel guilty, so why had she invited him? Had she wanted him to show up? What had she thought would happen?
Mackenzie felt like crying. And now her Sweet was next week. The event planner was coming over later to go over details. Her sister and brother were coming in. Her mom had booked them a million spa appointments that weekend.
They’d bought her a Louis Vuitton clutch too. The one she’d wanted forever, with the classic design. They hadn’t given it to her yet—it was a surprise—but it wasn’t like they could keep secrets from her. Not anymore.
She didn’t deserve it. She didn’t deserve any of it. She was a horrible person.
The Sweet was supposed to be the best night of her life, or at least one of the best nights of her life, and it was all a hot mess. Cooper wasn’t talking to her. Her best friend wasn’t talking to her. What if no one showed up? She looked back at Bennett. Would he show up? “Are you coming?”
“Maybe,” he said.
Depends what I have going on.
He was such a jerk.
“I’ll see you when I see you,” she said, and walked away.
I think I—
The elevator door closed and she had to wonder how he’d finished that sentence.
She wondered if it was
I think I made the biggest mistake of my life.
Then they’d be thinking the same thing. In his case, letting her go. In her case, letting him in.
Olivia was having a great week. Really great. Possibly the best week ever.
Before she’d gotten ESP, she’d spent a lot of time and energy worrying about what people thought of you, but to her relief, she was discovering that most people—well, the non-telepathic kind, anyway—didn’t think about her at all. Plus she had a boyfriend. A cute boyfriend! They weren’t soul mates just yet, but Olivia knew that a true connection took time to build. Time and telepathy.
For the first time in a long time, Olivia also had a ton of friends. Tess had sat next to her in homeroom. Even Jordana and Courtney said hi to her between classes.
It might have been rough for some of us, but for Olivia, having the Espies was the besties.
Ha, ha.
Of course, Olivia didn’t ditch Renée. She would never do something like that. At least there were no surprises with Renée—her internal thoughts weren’t that different from what she said aloud. Both were overconfident and self-deluded.
“I’m going to be an amazing fortune-teller,” she’d bragged to Olivia on Wednesday morning in homeroom. She stood up and tossed her striped red-and-orange scarf over her shoulder.
I think I’ll have a real gift for it
.
Renée really thought she knew what was best. At all times.
Renée knew what Olivia should order for lunch in the cafeteria. “Do not get the chicken burger, the cook never cooks the chicken properly.”
One day the whole school is going to get food poisoning
.
Renée knew what colors looked best on Olivia. “You should buy more green. It’s very flattering on you.”
I’m lucky I can pull off almost every color
.
And of course, Renée had known that Olivia would make a good couple with Lazar. In that case, Olivia was grateful for her friend’s overbearing know-it-all-ness.
Life was good.
Not for everyone, though.
Olivia watched a sad-looking Mackenzie enter the class by herself.
Slut.
Bad friend.
Cheater.
Olivia couldn’t help feeling bad for her.
Mackenzie sighed.
Even Olivia feels sorry for me now.
Olivia blushed.
“Sorry,” Mackenzie said. “I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”
Renée looked back and forth between them.
Did she just say something to us?
“Don’t worry about it,” Olivia said to Mackenzie.
Why’s Olivia being nice?
thought Renée.
She wasn’t even invited to the Sweet! Neither of us were! Unless my invitation really was lost in the mail.
Mackenzie flushed.
Oh, man. Olivia, did I not invite you?
Well, we’ve never actually spoken before,
Olivia thought.
Mackenzie nodded.
Right. There’s that. Do you want to come?
Too much pressure. Too much anxiety-producing activity. Small talk! Dancing! Walking in heels! Food between her teeth!
Oh come on,
Mackenzie begged.
Please?
Olivia hesitated.
Can I bring my boyfriend?
Mackenzie’s mouth opened in surprise.
You have a boyfriend?
Olivia heard a tsk from a few seats over.
Mackenzie is so self-absorbed,
Courtney thought.
How does she not know who Olivia’s boyfriend is? She’s been thinking about that kiss all week!
This time both Olivia and Mackenzie blushed.
I’ve had a lot going on,
Mackenzie thought.
Jordana shook her head.
What, and the rest of us haven’t?
It’s Darren Lazar,
Olivia thought. She wasn’t sure if Mackenzie would know who he was.
Oh! He’s the short guy, right? Of course you can bring him. I like Lazar.
Courtney tsked again.
Not enough to have invited him in the first place.
Mackenzie spun around. “Can you mind your own business?”
I’m kinda wishing I hadn’t invited Courtney.
Courtney gave her the finger.
If I hadn’t just bought a dress, I wouldn’t come.
Levi banged his fist against his desk.
Catfight! Catfight! Catfight!
Renée twisted her scarf around her wrist, obviously confused.
Mackenzie looked pained.
Am I going to have to drop out of school? Or at least cancel the party? It’s going to be a disaster
.
“It won’t be,” Olivia said.
“What are you talking about?” Renée asked. “Did I miss something?”
“Do you guys want to come to my Sweet?” Mackenzie asked Olivia and Renée. “I’m sorry I didn’t invite you earlier but you can bring a date if you want and it would be really fun if you came.”
Renée smiled.
Hurray!
“Fantastic. We’d love to come!”
Olivia wasn’t exactly sure she wanted to go, but the look on Mackenzie’s face broke her heart. “Lazar and I will be there. Sounds fun.”
“I’ll bring you a printed invitation tomorrow. In fact, I should make sure everyone in 10B gets an invitation.”
I don’t need anyone hating me any more than they do already.
Levi smirked.
Doing us all a favor, are you?
Mackenzie rolled her eyes.
Give it up, Levi. You know you’re coming.
Cooper walked in, late as usual. He sat in an empty seat near the wall, diagonally from Olivia.
Olivia turned around and gave him a sad smile.
What you’re going through sucks.
You don’t know the half of it,
Cooper thought.
I do,
Olivia thought, feeling her face go pale.
I think everyone knows.
It’s not just about Mackenzie.
I know,
Olivia thought.
Your dad too, right?
She did not want to be the one to tell him, but someone had to.
“I think I’ll wear my orange dress,” Renée mused.
Cooper froze
. Everyone knows about my dad?
Olivia nodded.
If you’re thinking about it, so are we.
Cooper put his head down on the desk. “Terrific,” he said aloud.
Renée smiled at Cooper, completely oblivious. “Thanks, Cooper!”
“You’re welcome,” he said.
I have no idea what she’s talking about.
Don’t worry about it,
Olivia thought, but he had closed his eyes and she knew he couldn’t hear.