Don’t Ever Wonder (18 page)

Nate had yet
to entertain anyone in his brand-new U Street condo. Shawn Simmons would be the first. Though when he’d had Jewel Green, one of D.C.’s top interior decorators, put her skills to work on it, he had hoped it would be Anita Lawson whom he would christen his four-hundred-thousand-dollar, two-bedroom condo with. Shawn would have to do instead.

Shawn had ditched her security and rode back from the party with Nate. She’d been impressed with his Porsche Cayenne. She’d owned one the previous year. Once she had seen his place, though, she was taken aback. The living room was furnished with furniture that was imported from Fiji. Her mouth dropped open when she noticed the stainless steel Viking appliances. His kitchen was immaculate and the dining room looked like something out of a model home. Nate hit a button and the electric blinds slid down, a second button and Amel Larrieux’s CD came on.

She had taken her sandals off at the door and the feel of the plush white carpet between her toes made her coochie wet.

“Your place is phat, man. Can I look around?”

“Knock yourself out.”

Shawn looked into the guest bedroom, which was furnished with a cherry-oak sleigh bed, a customized aquarium, and a red mural painted on the wall. There was a fifty-five-inch plasma screen in there that paled only slightly in size to the one in the living room. She wondered who did his decorating because it was incredible. Each room was color-coordinated to a tee. When she reached his master bedroom she screamed “Wow.”

She noticed the one wall that was completely glass, overlooking the street below. The moonlight was shining into the room and she could make out the furnishings. She moved toward the bed and Nate was standing behind her. She plopped down onto it and let out an “Ahhhhhh. This bed feels so good.”

“It’s a Vi-Spring, there isn’t a better one in the world. Be careful, you may not want to ever get out.” Nate laughed.

“And maybe I won’t.” She motioned her finger for Nate to come to her. It was just like old times. Most men dreamed of the opportunity to even catch a glimpse of a star like Shawn. Nate had never pursued her and it made him all the more mysterious and desirable to her. She was used to rappers, actors, and moguls going all-out to spend time with her. Nate had never even cared enough to lock her number into his phone.

Ten minutes later and they were in the mix. Shawn was completely naked, trying her best to sound sexy as she moaned and gyrated. Nate, on the other hand, was going through the motions trying to bring the player inside of him back to life, but he was having a problem. He couldn’t stop thinking of Anita.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Shawn was asking while pulling on his manhood.

“Not sure,” he answered. He wasn’t. He had never had a problem like this before.

“I’m not turning you on?” she asked seductively before taking him into her mouth. He closed his eyes, trying to get into her but he couldn’t. He felt nothing for her and as far as the sensations went, there was nothing at all. All he could see was Anita.

He pulled away and said, “Listen, sweetie, I’m sorry about this.” Then he said the unthinkable. “I’m in love with someone.”

There was silence as Shawn took in what he’d said. She drew a blank look and replied, “So what. Does that mean we can’t fuck?”

Nate shook his head in disgust. “Let me just take you back to your room. Where are you staying?”

“What,” she yelled out. Shawn couldn’t believe her ears. Was she being rejected? “What the hell are you talking about?”

She stood up and it was apparent that she was about to throw a temper tantrum. “Where are you staying?” Nate repeated.

“At the Capital Hilton, but why does it matter? I’m not leaving here without getting what I want.”

Nate was stunned by her behavior. “Shawn, come on now, you can call up anyone you want and get laid, don’t make a big deal over this.”

“Don’t make a big deal? You got to be kidding me.
You
sound like the bitch. Now you got me naked up here in your crib, pussy dripping wet, and you want to send me home?” She shook her head. “Oh hellllll nooo.”

Nate began to wonder if she was serious. “So what are you gonna do, Shawn, rape me?” He laughed at her.

Disgusted and humiliated, she screamed, “Fuck this. Nobody tells me no. I got something for your ass, Negro. You just be ready to turn yourself in tomorrow.”

“That’s cool,” Nate said. “So you would do some foul shit like cry rape on a brother?”

She folded her arms. “You got-damned right. If I don’t get what I want, there’s gonna be hell to pay. Plus, who you think the cops are gonna believe? I got a nigga in Miami sitting in jail right now just for pissing me off, doing three on an eight-year bid. All that nigga did was eat my pussy all night long. But he got cute and wanted to start fucking with that bitch, Nia Harvey.” Nia, who had a similar-sounding voice to hers, was being called a younger version of Shawn Simmons. Subsequently, she’d become Shawn’s top rival in the industry. “Now you fuck with me and see what happens.”

Nate laughed hard for a couple seconds and then stopped suddenly. He walked over toward Shawn and shouted, “You better get the hell outta my house, you crazy bitch. I’m calling you a cab and you’ll be all right.”

“You obviously didn’t hear me.”

“Oh, I heard you. Loud and clear. It’s just that I don’t play like that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that I have a state-of-the-art surveillance system that will show that I didn’t rape you; as a matter of fact, it will show that you suck a mean dick or at least you try.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did.”

Five minutes later and Shawn was in tears, riding in a cab headed back to her hotel, all thoughts of false accusations gone from her mind. Her only concern was that she didn’t wind up with her name linked to a sex scandal like Paris Hilton. However, on the way out of the building, she began to welcome the thought of some free publicity.

Nate, although still a little tense from the exchange, began thinking about Anita again. He was relieved that he been able to convince Shawn that he had her on tape. He decided then and there that he was going to actually have a security camera installed.

He waited until
the last of the congregation had filed out of the church after the early morning service. Nate knew the schedule by rote from all the work he’d put in. By nine thirty the church and the altar would be empty, and by ten thirty the people piling in for the next service would begin to arrive. Just when he knew she’d be there, Nate walked up behind Anita. Just as she did every Sunday, she was organizing her husband’s note cards, putting them back in order.

She thought she was alone in the pulpit but then she felt someone’s presence. When she turned around and saw Nate standing there her heart dropped and she gasped. “Nate, what are you doing here?”

“I’ve come for you,” he said. “I love you and I know you don’t love your husband.”

Anita batted her eyes. She took Nate in. He was dressed in a tan suit that hung on his body like it was sculpted on. He had on a pink tie from Hermès and a matching handkerchief. Her mind began to spin and her flesh was weak for him. She had told herself that she was fine as long as he stayed away. Day by day she had built her wall up with the notion that he’d probably found someone else.

Damn,
she thought. He had just told her that he loved her. She had long since conceded to herself that she felt the same way about him. “I don’t know what to say, Nate.”

“Tell me you miss me too. Tell me that you’ll leave him and be with me. We’re soul mates.”

Anita took a deep breath. “Nate, you shouldn’t be here. If I promise to call you later, would you leave?”

He sensed desperation in her voice, not fear. She didn’t fear being caught with him. It was just that she couldn’t stand being so close to him. While he stood there, she began thinking of all that had transpired between them. They had shared so much, and for the first time she had fallen for a man both physically and emotionally. Nate was her
it.
But she needed him to leave before she begged him to take her away.

“I won’t leave without you. If I do, I’ll never hear from you. Baby, listen, you don’t need this. You don’t need him. There’s nothing for you to worry about. I’ll treat you right…love you a lifetime. Plus, I have enough money to take real good care of you. Just leave with me now. We can go get your things and never look back.”

Anita stood there in silence. Nate’s eyes pored over her body. Her face, in spite of the tortured look she sported, was angelic. Even in a somewhat conservative dress, she was stunning. He could make out the traces of lace in her bra under her dress. He also marveled at her small waist and the way her hips gave a hint of the beautifully shaped bottom that she possessed. “An ass so phat you could see it from the front” was how his boy Dee had described it after seeing Nate with Anita one day at the hospital.

Finally a tear formed in her eye. “I want you too, Nate. I love you too. I do want to be with you—”

He interrupted. “Then what will it take? We can go tell him now. Where is he?”

“He’s not here. He stepped out for an hour.” She shook her head. “Honestly, I think he went to have a drink.”

“We’ll wait, but this has to end. I can’t stand not being with you another day.” With that he forgot where he was and move closer to her.

“What are you doing?” Anita said, attempting to slide back. She moved too slow and Nate caught her by her wrist. She dropped the note cards and let out a sigh as Nate grabbed her by the back of her head and pulled her face to his. “Nooo, not here, Nate.”

Nate didn’t stop. Their kiss was love personified. His tongue danced with hers and she couldn’t keep her passion under control. The kiss was long and full. His hands began to wander all over her body. First to her hips, then her ass. Next he found her breasts and palmed them. “Ohhh, Anita, I missed you so much.”

Nothing but a moan from her. Her lips were on his earlobes and his neck. They lost all track of space and time. Nate pulled her dress up enough to grip her panties. One firm tug and they were ripped from her body. “Ohmygawwd no,” she whispered when she felt his fingers reaching her center. He backed her against the wooden barrier in front of the choir benches. One finger, two, then three inside of her as he kissed her neck.

Anita was high on passion. Higher than she’d ever dreamed of going. She wanted Nate. She was in love with him. She’d been unable to sleep without dreaming of him, but right now she was in a different place. Her desire for Nate, coupled with the contempt she held for her husband, had her wanting to do the unthinkable. “Nate,” she murmured.

“Yeah, baby,” he answered.

“I want you to fuck me,” she moaned as his fingers danced on her clit like a guitarist on the strings. “I want you to make love to me right here, where that hypocrite stands and delivers messages that he doesn’t live by.”

With that Nate spun her around and lifted her dress. Within seconds he began pushing inside her. Each inch brought a deeper moan and remarkably a cry of passion that could have been heard up the block.

He moved slowly at first until she asked, “Did you miss this?”

“Yeah, I did, baby.”

“Then act like it. You want me to leave with you?”

“Yeah, baby, please leave.”

“Then, ma…maaa…maaake me wanna…ohhh shiiiiit.”

Nate began banging her like a man who was just released from prison on a weekend pass. His strokes began coming like thunder. His thighs clapping against her perfect ass. Her wetness was drenching him and he was beginning to lose control. She was now screaming at the top of her lungs as she began to feel her orgasm approach. Nate was magic. No man had ever made her cum before, and here Nate did it every time. “Ayyyyyeeeeeee,” she screamed out. “Don’t stop, doooonn’t stop. I feel…I feeeel iiiittttt.”

With that she began to grunt and her legs trembled underneath her. Nate began to shoot inside of her. “Yess, oh damn yesssss,” he mumbled as he finished.

“What the fuck!” They both heard a voice yell out.

They turned to see Lloyd and Thomas, head of the board of deacons, standing next to Sister Toya Sanders, the treasurer. Her mouth was hanging wide open. Part of her display of shock may have been due to her witnessing the size of Nate’s huge, glistening penis. He had just pulled it out of Anita upon their arrival.

Lloyd swooped in on Nate for his rematch. He did successfully get a couple of licks in while screaming, “He raped my wife.” But by the time Nate was able to pull his pants back up, he had regained control of the situation. He’d punched Lloyd in the ear a few times and caused him to recoil.

The women were screaming while Thomas tried to break it up. Anita was professing loudly, “He didn’t rape me. I love him.”

A crowd gathered and by the time the situation had some semblance of control, people were beginning to arrive. It was a mess, to put it mildly.

Old women were treated to a barrage featuring Lloyd’s true colors. “Bitch, get out of my church. Call the police.”

Nate had gotten his wish as he and Anita scurried from the church like two teenagers eloping. They went straight to the house in Mitchellville and packed Anita’s things. An hour later and Anita sat in a daze in Nate’s marble superbath whirlpool tub, sipping a glass of wine. The two hardly talked while Anita’s mind drifted back from the absurd display of the morning’s events that kept playing over in her mind. Nate knew she needed some peace and quiet time. He didn’t mind giving it to her; after all, he’d gotten just what he’d prayed for and he wasn’t about to blow it.

I didn’t want
to sleep with Shelly. I merely wanted to use the couch to take a nap since it was late when I arrived. A summer shower had slowed traffic down on the turnpike and it was murder making it through the Holland Tunnel. When I parked my car I had only one thing on my mind, some peace, quiet, and rest. I even tried checking into a nearby hotel but they were all booked. Saturday night in Manhattan gets that way.

I reached my floor and headed toward my door. Inside all was quiet and there were boxes everywhere as Shelly was preparing to vacate the apartment. I looked down the hall and could see the television on in Amani’s room and headed that way. I didn’t want to wake her. She hadn’t seen me in almost two months. I walked up to her door and saw that she was sleeping soundly. What I also noticed was that she had company. There was another little girl sleeping at the foot of her bed. They looked like two little angels that had overdosed on pizza and soft drinks. The empty box was on the floor next to the controller of the GameCube. There were a couple of DVDs on the floor next to the television as evidence that there had been a little party going on.

I watched her sleep for a moment and then I turned and headed for the living room. On the way back I walked to the master bedroom. I looked in and saw my wife sleeping soundly. I have to admit that I felt a strange mix of feelings take over me. She was still beautiful and still my wife, but she was in a negligee, one I’d purchased no less, lying in bed with another man. He was sleeping so soundly you would have thought that it was his house.

Not knowing exactly what to do, I did nothing. I took a closer look and recognized him. The guy with the daughter at Amani’s school, it made sense. I had been replaced with the other half of a ready-made family. Ricky Reyes. I hadn’t forgotten his name. He was a Lenny Kravitz–looking mofo, with his shirt off in an apartment I was paying for. I thought about walking over to him and cracking his head open just for general principle, but then a thought came over me. It was the same type of clarity that I felt when I’d been on that flight from Chicago. My mind raced with thoughts of all that I’d done and taken Shelly and Nina through.

Right there in that moment, she had peace and comfort. My daughter was in her room in child’s heaven. She had a friend and a sister perhaps. Me, I’d been a user, irresponsible, and the opposite of a real man. I’d crossed forbidden boundaries and had hurt the union of a sisterhood. Worse than that I hadn’t yet been worth it. By ending things with Nina, I had started to right the ship. By walking out of that apartment and swallowing my pride I would take another step.

I turned around to walk out and as I gathered my things I heard a voice, “Daddy.”

I looked over and saw Amani. A smile formed on her sleepy face and I felt my heart melt. She’d called me “Daddy.” In that moment I had all the answers I would need. My daughter would love me, no matter what. “I missed you, honey, so much,” I said in a whisper.

“I missed you too.” We were locked in a hug.

“Listen, sweetie, I want you to go back to bed and I’ll come and see you tomorrow. We can go anywhere you want.”

“Can Kali come?” she asked.

“If her daddy says it’s okay.”

“It’s fine with me,” I heard a male voice say behind me.

I looked at him and he looked back. I turned back to Amani. “Baby, go on back to sleep. Daddy just stopped in for a second to see you, but I’ll be back in the morning.”

“What time?” she shot back.

“What time would you like?”

“Eight o’clock.”

“That’s a little early. How about noon?”

She nodded her head. “Okay.” I gave her a kiss and she headed back to bed.

I made my way to the door, bag in hand. “Tell Shelly I’ll see her around noon if you don’t mind.”

“No problem. Nice to see you again.”

“I bet,” I said as I exited. Trying to keep from getting an attitude, I thought of all the things I had done to bring this on myself. My pride was crushed for the moment but I had it coming. It was life. My life.

“Look what the
cat done dragged in,” Terri said as I made my way to the bar. I had driven straight to Justin’s. I had an hour till closing and I knew that Terri would set me straight. “The usual?” she asked.

“And then some,” I replied. “You know I’m really beat.”

“You look it,” she said. I’d begun to forget how sexy she sounded with that accent. “Where you staying, sexy?”

“With you if you’ve got the space in your bed.”

She laughed. “You know your ass is a funky trip. You come through, hit it on your way out of town. I don’t hear from you for what…two months…now you want to come back unannounced and come lay up?”

I smiled. “Hey,” I said.

“You fine and all but I don’t know who you think you are?”

I grabbed the shot she’d given me and slammed it. “I’m Rick James, bitch,” I said imitating Dave Chapelle.

She burst out laughing and poured me another. “You tired,” she said, reaching into her purse. “Here.” She threw me the keys. “You remember my apartment right, it’s 209.”

“124th?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you in a couple hours.”

“Thanks.”

She smiled, letting me know that she was glad to be of some help to a brother in need.

There was no
sex with Terri, she’d let me sleep. Told me I was snoring when she came in. I woke up and she was getting ready for church. We made some small talk while she fixed me a quick breakfast of bagels, eggs, and turkey sausage on her George Foreman grill.

We kicked it like buddies and I explained to her my reason for coming to the city this weekend. She gave me some advice that I heeded. “Cory, no matter what, keep the bond strong between you and your daughter. If you move on or if she does, don’t be a fucking hater. As long as that man is good to your seed, then don’t worry your head ’bout it a bit.”

After breakfast I left Terri, promising to do better with keeping in touch. I headed downtown to spend some time with my daughter and to set up a time in which Shelly and I could file our papers for a legal separation.