Don't Make Me Beautiful (33 page)

Brian sits down at the table in a daze, unable to concentrate on the meal or anything else.
 
All he can do is try to imagine where John might have taken Nicole so he can get out there and find her.

The problem is, the only place he can come up with as their destination is John’s house, and they’re not there.
 
The police have been there twenty times, and Brian’s been there at least that many times.
 
He’s spent hours just standing on the corner, waiting to see the demon’s truck come around the corner so he can pull him out and beat him to a pulp.
 
But so far, there’s been no sign of him, his truck, or Nicole.

Agnes puts a plate, a fork and a glass of water in front of Brian and then sits down in the seat opposite him.
 
“So, tell me what’s happening. I’ve seen the police over here and you, but no Briana.
 
I assume something’s happened to her.
 
Something done to her by the man who hurt her before.”

Brian looks up, anguish filling him completely.
 
“How do you know all that?
 
Did the police talk to you?” They’ve been annoyingly tight-lipped with him, giving out no other information other than the fact that they haven’t found her.
 
He’s trying not to hate them for that, knowing they’re just doing their jobs.

“I keep my eyes and ears open. Briana and I have been having coffee together most mornings.
 
She tells me things.”

Brian buries his face in his hands, trying to get a handle on his runaway emotions.
 
He wants to rage at the world and cry like a baby at the same time.
 
It’s possible he’s losing his mind.
 
“I tried to get her to talk to me all the time, but she never really would.”

“She has a lot of healing to do. She’s carrying some heavy burdens I don’t think either one of us could understand.
 
I have a brother who was in the Korean War.
 
He suffered from PTSD.
 
I see some of that in her.
 
She needs professional help.
 
Don’t be hurt that she didn’t want to expose you to what she probably considers the worst parts of her.”

He pulls his hands away and drops them to the table, frustrated.
 
“I would have been happy to get therapy for her if she would have agreed to it.”

Agnes pats his hand.
 
“Of course you would have.
 
Anyone can see that.
 
Don’t blame yourself for things that aren’t in your control.”
 
She withdraws her hand.
 
“Besides, I’m sure she’ll come around.
 
She’s a strong girl, that one.
 
Mark my words.”

“You think?”
 
Brian is ready to cling to any speck of hope that comes his way.
 
Even Agnes’s premonitions are good enough at this point to make him think things could turn out okay for Nicole and maybe even the two of them.

“Definitely,” she assures him.
 
“So what happened?
 
Or do you not want to talk about it right now?”

He stabs a forkful of tuna casserole and puts it in his mouth, chewing while he answers because he’s anxious to hear her feedback.
 
Maybe she’ll think of something he hasn’t.
 
“We went camping.
 
The guy apparently followed us in a different truck than he normally drives.
 
While I was fishing, he grabbed her at the campsite and took off.
 
Liam saw him hurting her.
 
That’s the last we saw of her.”
 
A lump in his throat stops the rest of the words from coming, and swallowing food is made difficult.

“And the police have checked the mountain for her?”

“I think they have a copter out there right now.
 
But it’s been twenty hours.
 
I don’t know what they’re going to find after all this time.
 
He could be in another state by now.
 
Two states over for all we know.”

“What about his house?
 
Is it packed up?
 
Did he plan to leave for a long time or was it a split-second plan?”

“I don’t know.
 
They’re not telling me anything.”

Someone enters the kitchen, their footsteps stopping the conversation.
 
“Sorry for interrupting, but can I speak with you for a minute, Brian?”
 
It’s the female cop he talked to the day before.
 
She comes and goes from the house with his open invitation.
 
She no longer knocks and he doesn’t want her to.
 
As soon as she has info, he wants it.

“Sure.”
 
He stands, a spark of hope lighting his heart.
 
“Did you find her?
 
Is she okay?”

“Just come with me,” the woman says, glancing at Agnes.

Brian follows the officer out into the living room.
 
“Please don’t hold back.
 
Just tell me.
 
I’m sick with worry.”

“They found her. The truck went over the side of the mountain, apparently. She’s pretty banged up and has a concussion and some hyperthermia, but she’s probably going to be fine.
 
They’re transporting her to the hospital right now.”

Brian bangs his pockets, looking for keys and his cell phone.
 
“Which hospital?”

“Memorial.
 
Downtown.
 
Are you going over there now?”

“Yes.”
 
He looks back towards the kitchen as Agnes is coming out carrying his plate with the fork on it.

“Finish this plate first, then you go,” demands Agnes.
 
“You’ll be no good to her in the state you’re in.
 
You need food and a shower.”

“I don’t have time for that,” says Brian, running his fingers through his hair.

“I’d recommend you follow her orders,” says the officer wryly, looking pointedly at the top of his head.

“Fine.”
 
He grabs the plate from Agnes and shovels every last bite of the casserole into his mouth.
 
It takes about three seconds.
 
“Fanks, Agneff,” he says around the noodles.

She nods.
 
“Go take a shower.
 
I’ll call Helen.”

He hesitates, two steps towards the bathroom.
 
Looking back, he says, “Thanks, Agnes.”

“Anytime.
 
That’s what neighbors are for.”

Striding down the hall, he wonders if he’ll have a neighbor as thoughtful as her in his next house - the one he’s bound and determined to make a home with Nicole in.

Chapter Forty-Eight

NICOLE’S AWAKE WHEN BRIAN COMES bursting into the room.
 
As soon as he sees her in the bed, his expression shows relief.

“Thank God you’re alive,” he says, moving to her bedside.

She smiles as best she can with the bruises, cuts, and swelling on her face. “You expected to find me in here as a stiff?” Her newly casted broken arm lays across her abdomen and her knee is on ice.

“I didn’t know what to expect.
 
The police aren’t telling me jack diddly.”
 
He leans in to kiss her mouth, being careful to be gentle, but lingering more than he usually does.
 
“You gave me the biggest scare of my life.
 
Don’t ever do that again, okay?
 
Like
ever
.”

Her heart blossoms, the love she has for him warming her entire chest cavity.
 
“I’ll try not to.
 
If it had been up to me, I’d rather have baited a thousand wormy hooks than fall off the side of the mountain.”

He shakes his head, holding her hand in his.
 
“How on earth did that happen, anyway?
 
Tell me everything.”
 
He lets her go long enough to grab a chair and drag it over before going back to holding her hand and caressing it.

“I fought back.”
 
Even the words thrill her to the bone.
 
“I told him no more.
 
I attacked him.”

“You
what?
Are you crazy?”
 
He puts a hand on his heart.
 
“You’re giving me heartburn right now, I hope you know that.
 
Or maybe it’s Agnes’s tuna casserole.”

Nicole giggles.
 
“It’s her, not me.”

“So … what was that like?” he says, humor in his voice. “…Falling over a cliff?”

“Not fun.
 
Gave me a hell of a headache.”

“I’ll bet.”
 
He looks at her knee.
 
“And what else did it give you?
 
I hear a concussion, hypothermia…”

“Yes, and a bad knee apparently.
 
But other than that, I’m fine.”

“What about … John?”

“I was hoping you’d know more than me.
 
He was passed out the whole time I was in the truck, but I could hear him breathing.
 
The bastard.”

“That must have been terrible for you, babe,” he says, standing up so he can rub her head gently.

“It was.
 
At first.
 
I mean, I guess it was the whole time, but it gave us the alone time I needed to set some things straight.”

“Oh, yeah?
 
I thought you said he was unconscious.”

“Yeah, but he never listens anyway, so that didn’t really matter.”

Brian laughs loud and long.
 
When he finally gets himself under control again, he asks his next question.
 
“So what did you two talk about?”

She looks down at her hand in his, wondering how much she should tell him.
 
She can’t decide if the world in her mind where she can share her deepest thoughts with him and receive understanding in return is real or if she’s just living a fantasy.
 
Is it even possible for another human being to care about another that much?

“Nicole, look at me.”

She lifts her gaze.

“No matter what you say, no matter what you did or what he did, it doesn’t matter to me, okay?
 
It. Does. Not. Matter.
 
I love you for
you
, who you are, exactly like this.
 
All is forgiven, before I even know what it is.”

Her heart skips a beat and her lips go dry.
 
She’s unable to believe what he just said.
 
That word.
 
She opens her mouth but nothing comes out.

“Uh… yeah.
 
So I just said that.
 
The L-word.
 
Not very romantic how it came out, I know, but I meant it.”

She’s suddenly overcome with shyness.
 
Her concerns about what he might think take a backseat to the idea that he might actually L-word her. “I thought about you a lot when I thought I was going to die.”

“You did?”
 
He strokes her hand some more.
 
His face is a mask of care and concern.

“Yes.
 
And Liam and Helen and even Agnes.”

“Agnes will be happy to know that.
 
She’s very worried about you.
 
We all are.”

Nicole smiles at the memories of their coffee talks.
 
“She’s a nice lady.”

“She’s a very nice lady.
 
I’m going to miss her.”

Nicole frowns.
 
“Why would you miss her?
 
Is she leaving?”

“No, we are.
 
You and me and Liam.
 
I’m going to sell the house and buy one far away.”

“What?” Nicole almost chokes trying to get that one word out.

“I’m serious.
 
I want you to live with us.
 
And I know you can’t live around the corner from that asshole, so the only solution is to move.
 
I already contacted a realtor I know.”

“But I can’t do that,” she whispers.

Brian gets instantly angry.
 
“Of course you can!
 
Don’t tell me you don’t want to leave John!
 
That you want to go back there!”

She lifts up her hand and waves it in the air to stop him, to diffuse his misplaced anger. “No, no, no, that’s not what I’m saying.”

He huffs out a strong breath.
 
“Okay, then.
 
Fine.
 
Explain it to me.”

“Sit down first.
 
It’s … not an easy story to hear.
 
Or to tell.”

Brian sits down, never breaking eye contact with her.
 
He says nothing, waiting for her to talk.

“So, like I said, I was thinking a lot about you guys, the people who mean something to me in my life.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And there’s someone who’s very, very special to me at the house.
 
At John’s house.”

“Not John, I hope.”

“No, not John.”

Brian remains silent.
 
She can’t read his thoughts, but she’d give anything to know what he’s thinking right now.
 
She was brave in the car with John, but this confession is going to take every ounce of courage she’s ever had and then some.
 
What if he decides he hates me?
 
What if he thinks I’m a monster on the inside too?

“Who is it?” Brian asks.
 
“Who’s so important that you can’t leave town and start a new life?”

“Kitten.”

Brian frowns.
 
“You have a cat over there?
 
Why didn’t you say so?
 
We could have broken her out of jail weeks ago. I love cats.”