Doris O'Connor (10 page)

Alex sat watching Kitty squirm, a warm feeling
filling him at that barely whispered confession. That confession
explained her running out on him and the prim and proper clothes
she usually wore, which kept all those enticing curves firmly under
wraps at all times. He wondered who hurt had her so badly in the
past, but before he could ask her, her phone started ringing. She
scrambled to her feet and fished it out of her handbag.

“
Hi Gwen, is everything ok? …. He
has? Oh bless him…. Yes, that’s fine, no need to move him… I’ll be
back soon… thanks, Gwen. Bye.”

“
Is everything okay?”

“
Yes, he’s fallen asleep in front
of Mr. Tumble, and Gwen just wanted to know whether she could leave
him sleeping on the settee.”

“
Mr. Tumble?”

Kitty smiled at him. “Sorry, it’s his favorite
TV program. He is a bit obsessed with it. I should get back
really.”

“
Why? You just said he’s asleep, so
he won’t miss you. And talking of Noah, where is his
father?”

****

The softly spoken question stopped Kitty’s
heart for an instant before it started hammering in her chest so
fast she felt faint.
Oh hell, why did he have to ask that
now?

“
His father?” Kitty had to sit
down.

“
I’m just wondering why he’s not
around. I mean, Noah is such a great kid. Any man would be proud to
call him his own.”

“
You’d be surprised, Alex. That
hasn’t been my experience. Most men run a mile when they find out
he has Down’s. Hell, most men run a mile when they find out there
is a kid in the equation full stop. Not that it matters. Noah is
mine, and we are just fine the way we are.”

“
But are you, really? He may not
mind now, but as he gets older he will want to know who his father
is. Trust me, these things are important. A father-son relationship
is special.”

Kitty heard the catch in his voice and looked
at him. He had a faraway expression in his suddenly sad
eyes.

“
I lost my dad a couple of months
ago. One of my biggest regrets is that I didn’t bury the hatchet
sooner and came back much earlier. I wanted to, but pride wouldn’t
let me. You see, he didn’t approve of my decision to become a fire
fighter instead of following in the family business. I was his only
son; I was expected to take over, but all I wanted to do, from as
early as I can remember, was to become a fireman. One of the houses
in our street caught fire when I was around Noah’s age. I was
fascinated by the sirens, the action, everything. Mamma encouraged
me at first. Every birthday and Christmas I’d get another fire
truck or other related toy. It was only when I got older and
started talking about becoming a fire fighter that everything
changed. We’ve been at loggerheads ever since.”

Kitty went across to him, and he smiled
grimly, taking her hand in his, before pulling her on his
lap.

“
No need to look so sad. Life is
the sum of the decisions we make. I don’t regret following my
heart. I just wish I’d listened to it sooner when it urged me to
pick up the phone and speak to my dad.”

He dropped a kiss on her lips, his hands
playing with a strand of her hair.

“
So, unless Noah’s dad is a
complete jerk – and I find it hard to believe that you would let
such man within a hundred feet of you – then you know—”

****

Alex cradled Kitty on his lap, shocked at the
shimmer of tears in her eyes. What had he said? He used his thumb
to gently wipe away the single tear falling down her
cheek.

“
I take it he was a
jerk?”

Kitty shook her head, the tears falling in
earnest now, and he had to strain to hear her barely whispered
words. He was going to kill the bastard who had hurt her like
this.

“
He doesn’t know about Noah. It was
a one night stand you see.”

“
But you said—” Alex’s heart
hammered in his chest and he tilted her head up to make her look at
him.
Does she mean? But he isn’t old enough.

“
I only ever had the one one night
stand, Alex. How old do you think Noah is?”

Chapter Eleven

Kitty held her breath, watching the emotions
playing over Alex’s face. He moved her off his lap and stood up,
putting some distance between them. He poured himself another glass
of brandy and stood for a long time with his back to her, just
staring into space. When he finally turned around his face was an
unreadable mask, his blue eyes cold as ice and his voice carefully
controlled.

“
What are you trying to tell me,
Kitty? Are you saying he’s mine?”

Oh hell, this wasn’t going well. Kitty took a
deep breath and wrapped her arms around herself. She didn’t trust
her voice at all, so she just nodded.

Alex swore loudly in Italian, his eyes even
more frosty when they focused on her again.

“
I know I had too much to drink
that night, but I
do
know I used protection every time, so
how can he be?”

Kitty gasped at that veiled accusation.
What the hell?
This wasn’t the Alex she’d come to know. In
his place was a frosty stranger, accusing her of God only knew
what.

“
They aren’t one hundred percent
reliable. You know that, Alex. What the hell are you accusing me of
here?”

Alex swore again, running one trembling hand
through his hair, before he shook his head and downed another glass
of brandy.

“
What do expect me to think, Kitty?
Why the hell did you not tell me before now? And I don’t mean when
we met again. You had my goddamn number, Kitty. You say he’s mine,
yet you didn’t think I might want to know about him before now? You
have robbed me of what? Three years of his life for fuck’s sake!
How could you!”

“
I did ring you, Alex. I left a
message when I found out I was pregnant. When you didn’t get back
to me I tried to phone, but all I kept getting was your voice mail.
You ignored me. What was I supposed to have done? It was difficult
enough to ring you once. I wasn’t going to keep on trying, so get
off your high horse, will you?”

Alex took a step towards her then, his fists
balled at his side, his face murderous.

“
Don’t lie to me, Kitty. Don’t you
think a man would respond to a message informing him that he is
about to become a father! I never got any message and certainly no
phone call.”

“
Well, that’s exactly what you did,
Alex!”

Damn the man, what was wrong with him? She was
not staying for this. So much for every man would be honored to
call Noah his son. She should have known this was all too good to
be true. She ruthlessly fought back the tears stinging her eyes.
Thank heavens she’d gotten dressed after her shower.

Alex made no move to stop her when she grabbed
her bag and her jacket. He just stood there watching her, his face
grim.

She had the door handle in her hand when she
spun round, all the disappointment she felt dripping from her
voice.

“
I wonder, would you be so quick to
dismiss him if he didn’t have Down’s?”

And she slammed the door on Alex’s furious
growl. The sound of something smashing against the inside of the
door made her jump, and she ran up the path she could hardly see
through the tears clouding her vision.

****

Alex looked at the shattered remains of the
brandy bottle he had just thrown at the door Kitty had slammed so
forcefully, and he shook his head. Damn her, how little she thought
of him. As if Noah’s condition would make any difference to him. He
sat on the nearest chair he could find and jumped up again, when he
realised
which chair
that was. Damn it all to hell. What the hell was he going to do
about this?

He stalked across the living room towards the
book case and the picture of him and his dad. Oh hell, he could
have met him, if only he’d known. All those years lost. He was
never going to forgive her for this.

****

Kitty had pulled herself together, just, by
the time she arrived at Gwen’s. Seeing little Noah fast asleep
curled up on her neighbor’s settee nearly undid her again. His
profile in sleep was so like Alex that it made her heart clench
painfully.

“
Is everything all right,
Kitty?”

“
Yes, fine, Gwen. Thank you so much
for looking after him. I’ll take him home now.”

Gwen looked at her with those wise eyes of
hers and gave her a warm hug. “I’m here if you need to talk, Kitty.
He’ll come round; you’ll see.”

“
What do you mean?”

“
I may be old Kitty, but I’m no
fool. Anyone can see the resemblance if they look closely. I take
it telling him didn’t go too well?”

Kitty cried in earnest, and was soon sipping a
strong, sweet tea, Gwen’s answer to everything.

“
He didn’t believe me, Gwen. He all
but accused me of making it up. And he was so angry. Said I robbed
him of three years of Noah’s life, and I’m afraid I snapped and...
Oh hell.”

“
What did you say,
Kitty?”

“
I said I wondered whether he would
feel the same if Noah didn’t have Down’s.”

“
Oh, Kitty.” Gwen put her own cup
of tea down and took Kitty’s hand in her own. “You don’t really
believe that, do you?”

Kitty shook her head, fresh tears falling.
Damn, she hadn’t cried this much since she was told Noah had
Down’s.

“
No, I don’t, but I’m afraid he’ll
never forgive me for what I said. I can hardly forgive
myself.”

“
Well, he’ll cool off, I’m sure.
This must have been a big shock to him. See it from his point of
view, Kitty. You know he’s been round here, checking out all my
fire equipment, so I’ve gotten to know him a bit, and that one’s a
keeper, Kitty. And if you ask me, he is head over heels in love
with you. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

“
In lust maybe, Gwen, but
love?”

“
Ah poppycock. Don’t knock being in
lust, my dear. The stories I could tell you about my last husband
and me! Nothing wrong with being in lust. Makes the sex
unforgettable, does it not? And the arguments we used to have. You
just wait, Kitty. The make-up sex will blow you away.”

Kitty almost choked on her cup of tea, whilst
Gwen just smiled at her.

“
Ah, you young ones are too easily
shocked. Take Noah home, and get some sleep. Everything will feel
better in the morning.”

****

Well, everything did not feel better in the
morning, or the next, or the one after that. Kitty was miserable,
and she hadn’t heard anything from Alex at all.

“
Cheer up. You look as though the
cat has died.”

Her old friend Emilia threw herself into the
garden chair next to her.

“
So glad you could make it today.
The twins love having Noah here, but you have been so down in the
dumps. Richard and I are worried about you. I wish you would tell
us what the problem is. Is it to do with that fire fighter of
yours?”

“
He’s not my fire fighter,
Emy.”

“
Ah, I thought so. Spill. You two
had a fight?”

“
Who had a fight?”

Richard joined them, beer bottle in hand and
bent down to give Emy a kiss, before he took her hand and sat down
in the chair next to her. Not for the first time Kitty felt a stab
of envy at the closeness she saw between Emy and her husband.
Theirs had been a whirlwind romance, and in the four years since
they had gotten married, they had had the twins, with another baby
on the way. Richard had been promoted to senior partner at a top
notch firm of London solicitors, and, most importantly, they were
blissfully happy.

Kitty looked down the garden, where Noah was
bouncing on the trampoline with the twins, and to her horror she
burst into tears.

“
Ok, that’s it. What has the
bastard done to you? Do you want Richard to nail him to the wall?”
Emy leaned forward, taking her hand in hers, whilst Richard handed
her a tissue.

“
I can only nail him to the wall
within the realms of the law, honey, and then only if he has broken
it, Em.” Richard smiled indulgently at his impetuous
wife.

“
He hasn’t done anything to me,
Emy. It’s more what I did to him, or more correctly didn’t do, I
guess.”

“
Oh for pity’s sake, if you don’t
stop talking in riddles I will scream, Kitty.”

Kitty sighed and looked at her oldest friend.
“Alex Giovanni is Noah’s dad, Emy. Remember that sexy guy in the
club? Daisy made me get his boxers. That was him.”

“
Oh my goodness, and you never told
me, you saucy minx. Well isn’t that a turn up for the books?
Whereas I, of course, was the model of propriety! Just thought I
would point that out, Richard, in case you were wondering. Rich,
whatever is the matter? You look as pale as a ghost.”

Richard did indeed look pale under his tan,
and his face was grim when he looked at Kitty.