DoubleDown V (12 page)

“Well, I feel a kinship between us, so I feel comfortable sharing something with you. I know people around here think I’m some folksy hippie chick, but you may have also heard the rumor that I’m an atheist.”

“Well, I don’t put much stock in rumors. Besides, what would it matter if you were?”

“Right here smack dab in the buckle of the Bible Belt...trust me, it would matter a great deal. But it’s not true, I’m not an atheist.”

“I was raised Baptist myself.”

Penelope smiled. “Well, my religion is a bit older than that.”

This got Karen’s attention. “Are you talking about...Wicca?”

“Not exactly, at least not as you probably understand it. Modern Wicca is a version of what I’m talking about, but one that has been watered-down over the centuries. Recently it’s also been commercialized, almost sanitized. No, what I’m talking about is much older and more potent. I just think of what I practice as the Religion of the Earth. We are all connected to the Earth, are a part of it, which means we all have power inside of us.”

“So you do believe that people can have powers?”

“The degree of power varies from person to person, depending on how attuned they are to the forces around and inside them. But we’re all a little psychic, a little telekinetic, a little telepathic, and...I’m freaking you out, aren’t I? I bet you’re thinking I’m just a nut after all.”

“Not at all. I’m actually very curious about Wicca...or the Earth Religion. Maybe we could discuss it sometime.”

“I’d like that,” Penelope said with a smile. She leaned over the counter and her expression became more serious and more focused. “I realize we’ve only known each other a short time, but sometimes I feel like you coming to do your work-study here was more than coincidence.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just that I feel we could learn a lot from each other. Or maybe I feel that way just because you’re one of the few people on this campus who doesn’t treat me like a total freak.”

“Well, I guess us freaks have to stick together.”

Penelope reached out and stroked Karen’s cheek. “You’re not a freak. You’re a lovely young woman who’s about to blossom.”

“For the record, I don’t think you’re a freak either. You’re a good friend.”

“Thanks, I feel the same. Now get out of here, your shift is over.”

With a smile and a wave, Karen left the library and started across campus toward her dorm. The day was bright and mild, just a faint chill in the breeze that brushed her skin. Autumn in South Carolina was definitely more pleasant than autumn in West Virginia, and she suspected winter would be even more so. She’d heard that some winters it didn’t even snow here.

As she walked, passing guys playing Frisbee in the quad, girls lounging on blankets trying to be noticed by the guys, she idly stroked the bracelet Penelope had given her. The conversation she’d had with the librarian had been sweet but also...well, she found herself wondering if Penelope might be a lesbian. The woman wore no wedding ring and had never spoken of a boyfriend, not even of the “ex” variety.

Not that it mattered to Karen. She and her best friend Brittany had even made out once junior year of high school when they’d been blitzed on peach Schnapps Brittany’s older cousin had scored for them. Of course, Brittany denied any memory of the incident. And Karen didn’t consider herself gay or even bi, but she thought people made too big a deal about sexuality anyway.

Gay or not, Penelope was a nice lady, and Karen had been telling the truth when she said she considered the woman a good friend. Karen definitely wanted to talk more with the librarian about the Earth Religion, as she called it.

Rummaging through the large bag covered with stickers and buttons she carried in lieu of a purse, Karen found her keycard and let herself into the dorm building. On her way to the room she shared with Brittany on the third floor, she passed several girls on their way down. None of them spoke to her, but Karen didn’t mind. She hadn’t come to college to be popular; she’d come to get an education. It didn’t bother her that her only friend on campus was the school librarian...well, and Brittany.

As Karen made her way down the third-floor hall, her pace slowed. The blaring music she heard could have been coming from any room...but she knew it was coming from hers.  A whole diverse spectrum of music out there waiting to be listened to, and Brittany chose to listen to nothing but Taylor Swift. Literally, on a nonstop loop. Though it wasn’t her type of music, Karen hadn’t really minded the young country singer at first. At least, not until she’d been subjected to it pretty much 24/7.

Pausing outside her door, Karen took a deep breath then let herself in. Brittany was in only her bra and panties, standing in front of her closet, staring in with an intent expression as if the answers to all life’s deepest mysteries could be found amongst her blouses and shoes.

“Hi there,” Karen said, speaking loudly to be heard over Taylor’s lamenting about being done wrong by a faithless boyfriend.

Brittany threw up a hand in a wave as she reached into the closet and pulled out a pair of jeans so small that they looked more appropriate for a Barbie doll. Not that it would be a problem for Brittany. She’d gone on an extreme (and Karen thought potentially dangerous) diet over the summer and lost 60 pounds. Her body was trim and lithe, synthetically tanned to a golden brown like the top of rolls cooked just right.

Karen sat on the edge of her bed and kicked off her sandals. “I didn’t think you’d be here. Don’t you have Bio lab now?”

“Skipped it,” Brittany said after squeezing herself into the jeans. She chose a midriff top with a deep V-neck that showed ample cleavage. And Brittany had ample to show off; pretty much the only place she hadn’t lost weight was on her chest.

“You’ve been skipping a lot of classes lately.”

“Gee, sorry, Mom. I’ll try to do better.” Brittany smiled as she spoke, but her words were biting. “Derek asked me to meet him at the cafe. I couldn’t say no.”

“Derek?”

“Yeah, he’s in my World Civ class. Totally gorgeous.”

“I thought you were seeing that baseball player.”

“Kevin...I am. But we’re not engaged or anything. A girl has to keep her options open.”

“And yours are certainly open.”

Brittany paused in brushing out her long, bottle-red hair and glanced at Karen. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. It’s just that we’ve only been in school a little over a month and this is...what? The fifth guy you’ve gone out with?”

“It’s called playing the field. I’m making up for lost time. You might get some action yourself if you didn’t always dress like a bag lady.”

Karen looked at her outfit. A flowing ankle-length, floral skirt and a loose-fitting T with Salvador Dali’s melting-clock image with the logo “Time Drips When You’re Having Fun” underneath. Her fashion esthetic had always been a little on the funky side, and Brittany used to like that.

“Look,” Brittany said, her voice softening as she came to sit next to Karen. “I’m not trying to be a bitch here. I’m trying to help. You could be pretty if you just put a little effort into it. Otherwise you’re going to be as dateless as you were in high school, sitting at home every night writing that depressing poetry of yours.”

This stung, and Karen shot back, “You weren’t exactly Ms. Popularity in high school yourself if I recall. You couldn’t even get that guy from the World of Warcraft club to take you to the prom and you spent the night at my house watching
Easy A
.”

“That was then,” Brittany said, the razor-sharpness coming back into her voice. “We’re in college now, a chance to completely reinvent ourselves. No one knows who we were in high school. We can make ourselves into anyone we want to be, but here you are just being the same old Karen you always were.”

“I happen to like who I am.”

“Well, good for you, because you may be the only one.”

The words hit Karen like walking into a glass door, causing her both pain and embarrassment. Her eyes burned, and she clenched her hands into tight fists. She wanted to say something nasty, some vicious barb that would pierce at Brittany like an ice pick to the heart, but words failed her.

Something clattered on the other side of the room. An old coffee jar that Brittany used to collect loose change had fallen off her desk and onto the floor. It hadn’t shattered, but coins had scattered everywhere.

“Shit,” Brittany said, hurrying over. “I must have set it too close to the edge. I do not have time for this. Karen, could you please...?”

Karen held on to her anger for a moment, then rolled her eyes. “Go, I’ll clean it up.”

“Thanks, you’re a saint,” Brittany said, then was out the door.

“Saint, right,” Karen said as she got down on her knees and started scooping up the change. “If I was a saint, I wouldn’t have caused the mess in the first place.”

*  *  *

The second time Karen saw Bobby was by the lake. She often liked to relax and read in the grass by the clock tower. Today she reclined on a beach towel, reading a collection of Ray Bradbury. She knew she should be studying for a Psych test coming up next week, but she’d had just about as much of Freud and his perversions as she could take for the moment.

She became distracted from the story when the hairs on the back of her neck prickled, and she sensed someone standing behind her. Putting the book aside, she looked up to find Bobby smiling down at her.

“Hey, you,” she said, shielding her eyes from the sun. “You’re not stalking me, are you?”

Bobby’s smile faltered, and he chewed on his bottom lip. “No. I mean...well, not really.”

“Not really?”

“Ever since we met I have sort of been keeping an eye out for you.”

Karen felt a blush spreading into her cheeks and glanced down at the grass. “How come?”

“I know it’s silly, we only had a brief conversation, but...it’s just that, it felt good to find someone I could really talk to. I guess that just makes me sound even more like a stalker, huh?”

Karen looked back up, meeting his gaze. “No, it sounds very sweet. And I feel the same. You want to have a seat?”

Bobby took a step toward her, paused, glanced across the lake toward the campus, then lowered himself to the grass. “What are you reading?”

“
Dandelion Wine
.”

“Oh, I always liked Bradbury. Never got around to reading that one though.”

“Well, you can borrow my copy when I’m done.”

“Thanks.”

They fell quiet, first glancing at one another, then away. Karen tried to think of something witty or interesting to say—or just
anything
to say—but her mind was suddenly as empty as a poor kid’s piggy bank. Bobby finally broke the silence. “This is beautiful.”

“I know, it’s one of my favorite places. So quiet and peaceful.”

At that moment, as if to belie her words, two girls from her Art Appreciation class jogged by on the path around the lake. They glanced Karen’s way, whispered amongst themselves, then laughed.

She was positive their mirth was directed at her.

She turned her gaze toward the lake, watching the water lapping at the shore and concentric circles spreading across the surface.

“You okay?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah, it’s just...do you ever feel like nothing ever really changes?”

“I don’t know, about some things I guess. But I’ve gone through some pretty big changes in my lifetime.”

“I just had this idea of college, you know, what it would be like, and....”

“And it doesn’t live up to what you thought it would be?”

“Not exactly. I mean, I didn’t expect it to be Nirvana, but I also didn’t expect it to be so much like high school.”

“Meaning?”

“Cliquish, you know. It’s still about wearing the right thing, looking the right way, who’s in and who’s out. I was hoping all that kiddie crap was behind me.”

“Well, a freshman in college isn’t really all that different from a senior in high school. Maturity doesn’t happen overnight.”

“I know, but in a way, college is even worse than high school. At least then I had a best friend to commiserate with, someone who made me feel I wasn’t entirely alone.”

“And now you don’t?”

“Well, I do and I don’t. That just makes it even worse.”

Bobby tilted his head like a quizzical dog, his lips twisted in a half frown/half smile. “Not sure I’m following.”

“Brittany and I have been friends since before kindergarten. I can’t really remember a time we weren’t having tea parties together, playing dolls, having sleepovers and watching
Beverly Hills 90210
. It was kind of like we shared the same brain and personality. We both liked alternative music, enjoyed reading, had a retro fashion sense...and were both considered massive losers by the kids at school. In junior high we got the collective nickname the Bow-Wow Twins.”

“As in Bow Wow Wow?”

“What?”

“It’s an 80s band.”

“Never heard of them. We were the Bow-Wow Twins as in dogs.”