Doubt (6 page)

CRISTAL’S THOUGHTS WERE rattling in her head like a pinball machine, each one banging into the other.

“I have to go,” she said still staring at her phone.

“
Okay, I’ll drop you off,” Kerim replied.

He
went into the living room grabbing his helmet off the couch.

“
No, I’m taking a cab back to the office.”

Kerim
appeared startled by her response.

“
Okay, then. See you tonight,” Kerim said slowly.

Gabriel
stared at her with a look of concern.

“
We should talk about this some more, but that’s just what I think,” he mumbled to himself.

Maybe Gabriel is right
. She paused for a moment but then shook her doubts from her head and walked out the door.

***

Outside the building, she welcomed the fresh air. She stood still for a moment, taking in deep breaths, hoping to relax. She looked around. People were scattering on the streets like the fire ants that used to seek safety from the garden hose she used to wield on in the backyard of her childhood home.

“
There is no signal,” a young man said to her. He was waving his cell phone. “Do you have a signal?”

She shook her head, knowing full well that her cell phone was
working fine. It was connected to a satellite and not on a regular cellular network. Harry had made sure that all the Truth Seekers were able to communicate with each other at all times.

She glanced down at her phone and noticed there was a text message
from Serena.

Lioness:
We just had a small earthquake here in Manila. No physical damage but lots of people are saying they saw weird things. Like visions… Will send you pics soon.

What? An earthquake in the Philippines too? She began typing a response when she noticed some commotion on the corner of the intersection.

A group of teenagers
on the corner were pointing towards the sky. She tilted her head to see what the big deal was. Something was very different. Angry strokes of crimson red with charcoal rain clouds hung above them. Streaks of lightning were crisscrossing each other like an intricate woven rug. If she squinted, she could make out an image, almost like a painting. The image of a middle aged woman was becoming more vivid and clear.

I must be seeing things. Have to get out of here.

She scurried down West 34
th
Street praying to find a cab that could take her out of the chaos but abandoned cars were making the normally traffic congested street even more difficult for cabs to get through. She started picking up her pace, half walking, half running. She had to get to GN, which was on Lexington and East 33
rd
Avenue, probably a good twenty-five-minute walk.

Pockets of people passed her by, their eyes opened wide, blinking fast as she raced past them. A woman with snow-white hair and clear blue eyes caught her gaze. She was walking towards her, clutching her black purse, her shoes with thick black heels hitting the ground making a sound like a crack of thunder with each step. Cristal covered her ears hoping to block the sound.
Walk past her. Look away.

She tried to avoid making eye contact, but her eyes were drawn back to the woman. The old lady was now stopped in front of her raising her crooked finger at her.

“It was you. You were in my vision during the earthquake.”

Cristal froze, the old lady’s words crawling into her skull. Her skin felt like fire ants crawling up her arms.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she said, half believing her own words.

The woman continued, clutching the gold cross around her neck like it was the only thing keeping her alive. “It was you. There was a bright light coming down from heaven through your body into the earth.”

Cristal shook her head and said firmly, “No, not me! It wasn’t me.”

She yanked her arm away from the old woman and started sprinting down the street. Her heart was pounding; her palms sweating as she ran. Her backpack bounced against her and the straps rubbed against her shoulders.

She kept running, oblivious of the people bumping into her. The words repeated in her head like a mantra.

“It wasn’t me. It wasn’t me!”

She looked up and realized that GN was at the next corner.
Need to get Harry to tell me what the hell is going on.

She dodged traffic and ran across the street. As she ran up to the busy intersection, another voice entered her head.

“But it
was
you, darling.”

CRISTAL’S PULSE WAS RACING, her lungs gasping for air. “
Was it me?”
she asked herself.

She felt as though she had just finished doing the 100-mile sprint of her life. It seemed hilarious now that she was far away from the old lady. Imagine being frightened of a little defenseless granny. Harry would probably tell her to get her head checked if she told him what just happened. Deep down inside, the fear was like lead weighing down her gut. She had to get to Harry to get some answers.

She pushed her way past the people on the street and ran across the intersection. Some GN staff were standing in clusters all around the designated safe areas. She saw members from her team gathering at the end of the street. She weaved her way through the crowd, searching for Harry. She could hear comments as she walked past.

“It’s the climate change that did this,” a lady from the accounting department said.

“I bet you it had something to do with terrorists,” another said.

“It was scary. I thought we were going to die,” a man from the helpdesk support team told a fellow team member.

As she came closer, the sound of their voices filled her head. The sound was rising as if someone had cranked up the volume full blast.
She needed to calm down and take control of herself.

Get out of my head!
She closed her eyes and slowed her breathing.

It was working. The voices were fading, except for one. Harry’s.

“Cristal, is everything okay?”

She opened her eyes to find Harry staring at her intensely. A wave of relief swept through her body until she noticed
Joanna beside him, clutching onto Harry’s arm as if she were holding onto him for dear life.

Cristal wanted answers but not to the expense of having Joanna listening in.

“Harry, we need to talk.”

Harry must have noticed Cristal’s anxiety. He glanced down and pulled his arm from Joanna’s vice-like grip. Joanna put on a show by glaring at him, crossing her arms and pouting.

What a spoiled brat,
Cristal thought.

“They’re doing a head count,” he said, switching back to Cristal.

“Good to know,” Cristal replied.

“Can you take me home?” Joanna asked, tugging at Harry’s arm. Harry shook his arm free, the expression on his face reflecting his irritation.

“Are you listening to me?” she whined.

He responded but his gaze never left Cristal’s face.

“Joanna, calm down. After they give us the
all-clear
signal, we have to go back in.”

“You’re the manager! You can let us go home, if you wanted to,” she said.

Cristal gritted her teeth. Patience with Joanna was not her strongest quality.

“Get a hold of yourself, Joanna,” she finally snapped. “At least you’re okay, so stop acting like such a bitch.”

“Okay? I’m NOT okay,” Joanna blurted out. She waved her arms to emphasize her point. “None of this is okay!”

“Do you realize what happened today?” Cristal asked, her anger rising.

“No, duh. We had an earthquake,” Joanna replied, rolling her eyes. “Right, Harry?”

Joanna turned to him with her hands on her hips.

“Tell us. Was that an earthquake?”

Harry gave her a dirty look.

“This is not the time or the place,” he said quietly.

Out of the corner of Cristal’s eye she saw a tall guy standing beside her. She looked up and was surprised to see Kerim.
How did he get through the traffic jam
?

“Alleys, side streets and sidewalks,” Kerim said.

It wasn’t the answer that made her queasy. It was the fact that Kerim knew exactly what she had been thinking.

The sound of a horn blast coming from the building filled the air, indicating that it was safe to enter the building. Kerim and Harry were standing toe to toe.

“Yeah, Harry, tell us if that was an earthquake,” Kerim said.

“This is not the time nor the place,” Harry repeated, narrowing his eyes.

He motioned to Cristal to go with him towards the building.

“See you at six tonight, Kerim,” he said.

Cristal would’ve followed Harry. Technically he was her manager at GN although, her working there was only a cover to hack into the GN networks. But then again, Harry was the leader of the Truth Seekers and normally she never questioned his commands when it came to fulfilling their mission. Debating with herself, she found herself with a dilemma.
Do I go back to work with Harry and spend the next few hours acting as if nothing happened?

Then she did something out of character.

She tucked her arm in Kerim’s and pulled herself closer to him, causing Harry’s eyebrows to shoot up.

She could feel Kerim’s stare but he played along, placing his hand on hers. If anyone else were watching, they did look like a couple.

“See you tonight,” she said to Harry. “Kerim, let’s go.”

She smirked imagining the steam spewing from Harry’s nostrils.

Joanna must have been enjoying the show because her smile was stretching wider and wider and Cristal could see a glint of glee in her eyes.

Cristal thought,
I’m not as predictable as you think, Mr. Doubt.

“Your ride awaits you, my lady,” Kerim said, giving Harry a friendly wink. He was definitely enjoying Cristal’s tactical maneuver.

Cristal smiled to herself, letting him guide her away. She glanced back to confirm that Harry was watching them very carefully. She wondered what thoughts were running through his mind right now.

She pulled Kerim’s arm, urging him to pick up the pace.

“What’s the hurry?” he asked.

“No hurry,” she said. “I want to get away from this crowd.”

He squeezed her hand reassuringly. They walked hand in hand until they reached the intersection. She turned back to see GN staff walking into the building.

So what next
, she asked herself, realizing that she hadn’t thought it through.

Cristal had just pulled a fast one on Harry and she was still enjoying the moment. Harry was probably having a fit seeing her walking hand in hand with Kerim.

“My bike is over there in front of the coffee shop,” Kerim said, interrupting her thoughts. “You want me to take you home? We’ve got a few hours to kill before the meeting tonight.”

She realized that her hand felt good in his.
Why not play this out a bit?

“Nah, I don’t want you to have to drive through the chaos out there. I can take a cab after the meeting, assuming the streets will be clear by then. Let’s go to the coffee shop instead. It should be open,” she said.

“A good espresso might help my caffeine headache.”

She glanced up at him and remarked, “You still have a headache?”

“Well I didn’t get a chance to get my dose of caffeine at Gabriel’s. And spilling it on my jeans doesn’t count.”

She giggled, remembering the event that happened earlier.

They crossed the street in silence and stopped in front of the shop.

“I guess Harry can’t see us anymore,” he said quietly.

He gently let go of her hand.

“Yes, sorry for that,” she said. “Thanks for helping me back there. I really didn’t want to hang out with Harry right now.”

He stared at her for a moment. His steely gazes made her catch her breath. She remembered her thoughts from earlier about ice cream and bad boys.
Chocolate ice cream is very bad for your hips
, she reminded herself. She noticed Kerim glance down her body. Was he checking her out or was she only hoping he was?

“No worries. I know how it is,” he said, snapping her back to reality.

She gave him a small smile realizing that her cheeks were probably the color of persimmon.

Cristal wished she could enjoy this moment with Kerim a little longer but they reached the coffee shop’s entrance.  The sign on the door said “Open” so despite the earthquake, it looked like the shop was running business as usual.

“After you,” Kerim said, pulling open the door.

She entered the store noticing that they were the only customers and the owner of the shop was sweeping the floor behind the counter. He looked up when he noticed them standing in the entrance.

“Sorry, we’re closed.”

She started to turn around, but Kerim’s hand gently squeezed her arm.

“We were hoping we could stay here for a bit. We really have nowhere to go right now,” he said.

The man behind the counter stopped sweeping and stared intently at them as Kerim continued with his story.

“She’s not feeling well. Something fell on her head during the earthquake. We just need a few moments.”

She touched her head, wincing slightly and hoped that it looked convincing.

The shop owner leaned the broom against the back wall and walked towards them, wiping his hands on his apron.

“It’s been a hell of a day,” he said. “Please come and sit at this table.”

He pulled back a chair and waited for Cristal to sit down.

“Do you want anything? Tea, coffee? An ice pack?”

As she sat down, she smiled and said, “I’m fine. Thanks for asking. I just need to rest a moment.”

“I’ll have an espresso,” Kerim added, winking at her as he sat down
across the small table. “And how about an iced café for the lady?”

“Of course, no problem,” the owner said, and then walked back to the counter.

Cristal leaned towards Kerim and whispered, “You like starting trouble, don’t you?”

“I was just trying to be a gentleman. Besides, I need my caffeine fix.”

She was relieved to be able to sit down and have a real conversation with him. Who knew that this would be the sweet "aftershock" following the stunt she pulled on Harry earlier.

“I guess I could do with an iced café after all we’ve been through.”

He leaned forward, and admitted in a semi-sultry voice, “Now I’ve revealed my weakness to you.”

“You’re hilarious,” she said, putting her hands on the table. “My dad always said, ‘Never reveal your weaknesses.’”

“You have a very wise father,” he said.

His steel grey eyes probed hers, looking for what
… she wasn’t sure. The sadness that she buried deep down inside suddenly welled up in her throat.

“Yes, he is…” she half-whispered, “or was.”

She looked down at the table.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” Kerim reached for her hand.

She looked up at him and tried to blink away the tears. Tears that betrayed the cold loneliness she felt every day. Loneliness that had become part of her, since the day her father disappeared.

“No, it’s okay. He went missing when I was a kid.”

Cristal focused her eyes on Kerim, telling herself to calm down. She had never shared personal information about her father with anyone other than Harry.

“But I know he’ll be back.”

“I understand. My older brother went MIA when I was in the Army,” he said.

Cristal noticed his other hand clenched into a fist.

“Missing in action?”

“Yes,” he said in a quiet voice, and then he turned his head to look out the window.

She put her other hand on top of his. She knew how it felt to have a loved one go missing.

He cleared his throat, and said, “Okay, let’s talk about what happened today.”

He gently pulled his hand away from hers.

“Yes, let’s do that.”

She leaned back and folded her hands in her lap.

“I don’t think that there was an earthquake,” he said quietly. “I know you feel the same way.”

She let out a loud sigh, just as the shop owner walked towards them with their drinks.

“Thank you very much,” she said, relieved to have a moment to think of an answer.

“Do you mind turning on the television?” Kerim asked him.

“Sure, I didn’t even bother checking if the cable was working.”

He went to the counter and grabbed the remote. He pointed it towards the large flat screen TV hanging on the wall, and pressed the button to turn it on. The local news station came up on the screen. The anchorwoman was speaking, but there was no sound. He pressed the button to turn up the volume.

“…reports from Manila, Rome, Gaza, Haifa, and Vancouver confirm that earthquakes occurred at the precise time as the one that hit Manhattan at 1:25 p.m. Eastern Standard Time today.”