Down an English Lane (40 page)

Patience came to the door with her. ‘My goodness, what a shock!’ she whispered. ‘Thank you ever so much Maisie; you’re such a good friend to our little girl. That’s what she still is in some ways, I’m afraid…’ She lowered her voice even more. ‘Who is it? Do you know? Has she got a steady boyfriend then?’

Maisie shook her head. ‘No; I gather it was…just one of those things. Don’t be cross with her, Aunty Patience. It wasn’t her fault.’

Patience smiled. ‘Fair enough. You’re a good girl, Maisie; one of the best.’ She kissed her cheek. ‘Goodbye, dear, and God bless…’

‘We will say no more about…all this until after we have had our meal,’ said Patience, returning to the lounge where Luke and Audrey were sitting in silence, not looking at one another. ‘Timothy will be back soon from his lesson; I thought he would have been in before now, but he’s probably called to see a friend; and Johnny’s staying for tea at Gary’s house… So we will have a talk tonight when Johnny’s gone to bed… Won’t we, Luke?’ She looked at her husband who appeared to be in a brown study.

‘Yes, of course we will…’ he answered, a trifle absent-mindedly. ‘I don’t want you to think I’m angry with you, Audrey. I’m surprised, as I’ve said, and it takes a bit of getting used to. But I’ve been around long enough to know that such things do happen, often to the most unlikely people; and Patience and I have dealt with worse problems in our time, haven’t we, love?’ They smiled affectionately at one another. ‘Off you go now…’ He smiled at Audrey, ‘and help your mum with the tea… Oh, here’s Tim at last,’ he added as they heard the front door open and then close.

‘Hello – what are you doing here?’ asked Tim as he entered the room, unwinding his school scarf
from around his neck and putting down his music case. He was seventeen now and in the sixth form at the Grammar school at Lowerbeck.

‘Well, that’s a nice greeting, I must say!’ retorted Audrey. ‘Aren’t you pleased to see me?’

‘Of course! I wasn’t expecting you, that’s all. Mum didn’t say anything about you coming home.’

‘That’s because she didn’t know. Maisie was coming up to see her mother,’ Audrey invented hurriedly, ‘and so I decided to come with her. I’ll be going back tomorrow… I expect,’ she added, a little uncertainly.

‘What d’you mean? You’ll have to go back. You’ve got lectures on Monday, haven’t you?’ said Tim. He didn’t wait for her to answer. ‘What’s for tea, Mum? I’m starving!’

‘As usual,’ smiled Patience. ‘It’s toad-in-the-hole, one of your favourites. Audrey’s just going to set the table, aren’t you, love?’

Audrey nodded, following Patience into the kitchen. Tim could occasionally be coerced into doing the odd chore; but, by and large, it was the sort of household where the menfolk were content to leave it all to the women.

‘Now…let’s get down to brass tacks,’ said Luke later that evening, when Johnny was in bed and Tim had gone to the youth club at the church. ‘We don’t intend to give you the third degree, Audrey. It
would serve no purpose, and we don’t want you to feel any worse than you do already.’

‘Thanks, Dad,’ murmured Audrey. ‘Actually, I feel tons better since I’ve told you both. I was frantic; I didn’t know what to do…until Maisie talked some sense into me.’

‘Yes, she’s a good lass; she always was,’ observed Luke, ‘but it’s you that we are concerned with now, my dear, and we are going to be with you, Patience and I, every step of the way.’

‘Thank you,’ said Audrey again. ‘I know you must be cross with me really, even though you’re being so nice about it. I mean…it’s awful for you, isn’t it, with you being the rector? Much worse than it would be if you were just…ordinary.’

Luke smiled. ‘That’s how I’ve always thought of myself; just an ordinary man who happens to wear his collar back to front.’

‘You know what I mean,’ said Audrey. ‘And you’re not ordinary, at least I don’t think you are. But what are people going to…?’

‘What are people going to say?’ Luke finished the sentence for her. ‘What does it matter what anybody says or thinks? We will have to live through that, you and your mother and I.’ He looked at her quite sternly for a moment, and she could almost hear his unspoken words, You have brought it on yourself… ‘But from what I know of the people of this parish – the majority of them, at any rate – you will get a lot of support and understanding.’

‘Audrey, love…’ Patience broke in. ‘There’s no chance of you marrying this young man, is there? Whoever he is… Does he know about it?’

‘Good gracious me, no!’ answered Audrey. ‘No, to both questions.’ She sighed, a deep rending sigh, partly of relief that she was able to talk about it at last with such sympathetic parents, and partly because she knew she was, still, in a hell of a mess. ‘I’ll tell you about it…and after that I want to forget the circumstances, if I can…

‘You know I went back early after Christmas to go to that party at Jennifer’s? Well, it was then…that it happened. I’m afraid I had too much to drink, and I got talking to Jennifer’s brother. He was nice to me and we had a laugh together, and we got on really well and…that’s what happened. He’s probably never given it another thought, and I don’t want him to find out. He’s got a steady girlfriend, you see, but she wasn’t there… I’d drunk too much, I know I had; I’ve done a lot of silly things since I went to college…’ Her voice had been getting more and more agitated, then she began to sob as the tension of the last few days and weeks drained away from her. ‘I’m sorry; I’m so very sorry; I’ve hurt you both so much…’

‘Come along now, darling.’ Patience, sitting close to her on the settee, put her arms around her. ‘Have a good cry and you’ll feel better. Everything is going to be all right, I promise.’

Eventually her sobs lessened and she dried her
eyes and smiled at them. ‘You’re so good to me… What do you think I should do? I mean…there’s college. I won’t be able to go back, will I? And the baby…and I won’t be able to get a job, because I won’t be a proper teacher. I couldn’t anyway, because of the baby…’

‘Let’s deal with one thing at a time, shall we?’ said Patience, taking hold of her hand. ‘At least I’m glad you’re talking about the baby as though it’s yours, which it will be. You mustn’t consider adoption; I know some girls do in your position, because they have no choice.’

‘No; no, of course I wouldn’t,’ said Audrey, remembering, with a pang of guilt, how she had considered doing something much worse. She was realising now, and had been ever since her flight from that dreadful house, that she really did want to have this baby, and to keep it. But there were still many, many complications.

‘And we are not going to tell any silly stories about it either,’ Patience went on, ‘pretending that it’s mine, for instance. I’ve known of cases where the family has been so ashamed that they’ve kept the daughter out of sight – and the mother too, presumably – and then said that the child belonged to the mother, the one who is really the grandmother. This happens quite a lot.’

‘I think you are rather too old to get away with that, aren’t you, darling?’ said Luke with a twinkle in his eye.

‘No, why should I be?’ his wife retorted. ‘I won’t be fifty till the end of the year…’ She laughed. ‘I suppose you’re quite right, though. I certainly wouldn’t want to pass it off as mine, but I won’t be too old to do my share.’ She shook her head bemusedly. ‘Do you know, Audrey, there was a time when Luke and I longed for children, and it seemed as though there would never be any.’ Audrey had heard all this before, but she smiled and listened attentively.

‘And then you came along, my dear, and we were so pleased to be able to adopt you; and then Timothy. We really thought that this was God’s answer for us, to adopt, rather than to have any children of our own. And then, just like a miracle, little Johnny arrived. I still think of him as being a miracle child… And now there’s going to be another baby. Oh, Audrey, love – we mustn’t be ashamed. We’ll hold our heads up high, all of us, and I’m sure that God will bless us.’

‘What about Tim, and Johnny?’ asked Audrey. ‘Are you going to tell them?’

‘All in good time.’ It was Luke who answered. ‘Tim is old enough to understand, and Johnny…well, as I said, all in good time. And did you say something about not going back to college, Audrey?’

‘Well, I can’t, can I? I’m pregnant, and they might find out. Well, they’re sure to…’

‘Patience has just said that we’ll hold our heads
up high, and that is just what we are going to do. There is no reason at all why you shouldn’t finish your college course. It would be such a waste to give up now. March, April, May, June…you have only four months left to do, and then you will have your teaching certificate.’

‘And what use will that be to me, with a baby? Anyway, by the end of June everybody would know.’

‘When is the baby due, dear?’ asked Patience. ‘Do you know?’

‘The beginning of October, I think,’ said Audrey. ‘Of course I’ve not seen a doctor yet…’ She shuddered inwardly, thinking of the one that she had seen, ‘but I’m sure about it, about being pregnant, I mean. I’ve been feeling sick and… I just know.’

Luke appeared to be deep in thought. He looked concernedly at Audrey. ‘I do understand how you must feel about people knowing, but we have decided not to be ashamed, haven’t we? By the end of June, yes, I suppose you will be…er…showing, but probably not too much. You are only slightly built.’

‘But won’t that make it worse, if I put a lot of weight on?’

‘I don’t know. I am really quite vague about such matters,’ replied Luke. ‘But I am going to help you as much as I can. I shall drive you back to college tomorrow and have a word with your principal, Miss Montague, isn’t it?’

‘Oh, Dad, she’s an ogre! She’ll eat you alive!’

‘I doubt it,’ laughed Luke. ‘I’ve dealt with plenty of ogres in my time. Besides, it’s amazing what a clerical collar can do for calming down ogres. I shall explain the situation to her.’

‘Oh no, don’t! Please don’t! She’ll probably expel me.’

‘That she won’t! You can’t tell me that a woman of her experience has not dealt with similar situations before. And you’ve never crossed her in any way, have you?’

‘No… She takes our group for RE, and I get on quite well with her really. She seems to like me, I think. But everybody’s a bit scared of her.’

‘Religious Education, eh? Couldn’t be better,’ said Luke. ‘We should get on like a house on fire. I’ll see if we can come to some arrangement about your… Physical Education you call it, don’t you? We don’t want you overdoing things in the early stages.’

‘And there’s Greek dancing as well,’ said Audrey. ‘Prancing around in those silly tunics. But that’s better than PE. I must admit I’d be quite glad to get out of that. But what would I say to the tutor who takes us, Miss Peabody?’

‘The truth would be best,’ said Luke, ‘but don’t worry; I’m sure we will be able to sort things out for you. Be a brave girl, and all will be well, I’m sure.’

Luke and Patience sat on their own for more than an hour after Audrey, and then Tim, had gone to bed. It was just turned midnight when they eventually retired, far later than usual on a Saturday night, considering that Sunday was Luke’s busiest day of the week; but there had been so much on their minds, so much that they needed to talk about on their own.

‘I’m stunned,’ Patience had said several times. ‘I’m finding it so hard to believe. Audrey, of all people! She was always such a shy, timid sort of girl.’

‘But isn’t that the sort that it often happens to?’ observed Luke. ‘And she told us she’d been drinking; I find that hard to take in as well, but I suppose they get up to all sorts when they get away from home.’

‘We tried to bring her up well, didn’t we, Luke? As though she was our own daughter. She always seemed to know right from wrong; I can’t understand it.’

‘There is no point in beating ourselves black and blue about it now, though, is there? What is done can’t be undone, and we will have to try and be positive about it. She needs us more than ever now, Patience.’

‘And we weren’t too strict with her either, were we, darling? I mean, it wasn’t as if she felt she had to kick over the traces when she left home. We never said too much when she was friendly with
Brian Milner, because we felt we could trust her, and him as well, of course. He was – well, is – a very nice boy. Now if it had been him, Brian, I suppose it wouldn’t have been quite so bad. At least he was her boyfriend.’