Down by Contact - A Seattle Lumberjacks Romance (37 page)

But he hadn’t told her. Just like he hadn’t
told her about his brother’s ashes buried in the side yard.
Why?

She knew the reason, and it trampled her
like a mob of shoppers on Black Friday. He didn’t trust her.
Despite her opening up and telling him about Mark. They’d spent
hours getting to know each other’s bodies, but they didn’t know
each other’s minds well at all.

Because they didn’t have a future, and Zach
didn’t want one.

Even if Kelsie thought she did.

* * * * *

Zach tossed the ball to Billy. The kid
caught it with the ease and grace of a natural athlete. “Make sure
the little ones don’t get run over by the big ones.”

Billy nodded, taking his position as a squad
leader seriously. The only praise the kid got all week was from
Zach. His mother vacillated between running from an abusive husband
and going back to him, certain he’d changed. Her kids were
constantly pulled in one direction or the other. The only constant
in Billy’s life was this small band of kids Zach coached on
Tuesdays.

Billy’s mom was with a new boyfriend, and
the kids had a roof over their heads, for now. Tomorrow could be a
different story, one Zach knew all too well. He suspected the new
guy would be as abusive as the old one because the cycle of abuse
kept spinning slowly, over and over until a tragedy interrupted it,
like it had in Zach’s life.

He might play a violent sport for a living,
but he avoided aggression off the field. He’d seen too much of it
as a kid.

Catching movement, Zach glanced toward the
doors, a face appeared in the window then it was gone. His eyes
narrowed, and he frowned. He didn’t like people snooping around
here, and anyone who didn’t identify themselves was a problem in
his book. He signaled to Billy that he’d be right back and sprinted
for the door. Slamming it open, he saw the outer doors close behind
the interloper. If it was a reporter, he’d shove the asshole’s
camera down his throat. Zach didn’t want anyone publicizing or
profiting from his charity work.

He ran down the long hall and onto the
street but didn’t see anyone.

Zach turned to Danny huddled under a blanket
near the doorway. “Dan, did you see someone just come out these
doors?”

The guy nodded and pointed toward the end of
the block where a car pulled away from the curb. Zach could just
make out the blond head of the driver, and he knew the car.

Kelsie had followed him here. Or found him
another way.

He fished his phone out his pocket and
punched a few buttons. Disgust sliced through him when he saw it in
full living color on his phone. The old Kelsie still lived and
breathed.

She’d been stalking his every move via his
phone.

She didn’t trust him. Without trust, they
had nothing, no matter how hot the sex.

Zach tossed the old veteran enough cash for
a warm meal and a room for the night then trudged back into the
building, devastated. He rested his forehead against the cool
concrete block wall of the deserted hallway and braced his hands on
either side of his head. Breathing in and out in a slow rhythm, he
attempted to gain a semblance of normalcy before he rejoined the
kids—which was damn tough to do when a trap door opened beneath his
feet and catapulted him downward toward an unknown fate.

* * * * *

Kelsie lay in bed and waited for Zach to
come home. Only he didn’t come home. Feeling like a conniving
bitch, she checked her phone. It showed him back at HQ. At
midnight? Well, they did have a big game on Thursday night. But he
could’ve at least called or texted her to let her know. Her heart
filled with righteous anger. She didn’t deserve this cold shoulder
from him. She’d give him a piece of her mind when he got home. Mark
used to pull this crap on her, and she’d let him.

No more.

Finally, around 1:30, she heard him come in
the bedroom. He undressed and crawled into bed beside her. She kept
her back to him, strung tight and ready to pummel her fists into
the pillow in frustration. “You’re late, where’ve you been?”

“You tell me.” The hint of anger and
disappointment in his voice put her on alert. He knew something. A
little of her anger fizzled, but only a little.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She picked
her words carefully, not sure she wanted to hear his answer but
needing to hear it, yet still pissed in her own right.

“Don’t play stupid, Kelsie. You haven’t
really changed a bit, have you?”

“Yes. Yes, I have.” She sat and faced him,
glaring at him. She went still inside, but the anger and
disappointment simmered below the surface, even as she battled with
her guilt. At least she was trying. What about him?

“Then tell me. Where was I tonight?” His
cold voice chilled her and stalled her reaction.

“You weren’t here with me. Seems you don’t
think enough of me to share your life with me, especially the
important things.” She tossed hurtful words back in his face and
waited for his temper to detonate.

“Don’t lie to me. I hate it.” Zach switched
on the light at the nightstand and sat on the side of the bed. He
scrubbed his face with his hands and heaved a frustrated sigh.

“I hate it, too. Why didn’t you tell me
about your work with homeless kids? Why? Why?” Her voice climbed
higher and higher until she was screeching.

“Because it’s something private, something
special, something I don’t share with anyone.”

“Not even your wife?”

“Especially not the wife who uses my phone
to stalk me then follows me like I’m a cheating husband.” He stood,
hands on his hips and glared at her. She glared back, equally
pissed off.

“If you’d been honest with me, I wouldn’t
have had any need to be dishonest with you.” Damn him, damn him,
for turning this back around on her. She’d done what she’d done
because he kept a part of himself protected from her.

“I’ll sleep in the other room. At the rate
this team’s going, you’ll only be stuck with me for a few more
weeks. Once this gala is over, you can waltz into your world of
wealthy men and up-scale clients. You don’t need an uncouth guy
like me to drag you down.”

“Do you think that’s what I really want?”
Kelsie grabbed her stomach, feeling as if someone had sliced her
open and gutted her insides.

“Isn’t it?” He looked so proud, yet she saw
underneath his angry bluster a man who was lost and needing love.
For a moment she wanted to pull him into her arms and tell him she
was sorry and beg him to forgive her, but the stiff set of his body
kept her away, reminding her of why she’d done what she’d done in
the first place.

“You’re so close-mouthed about everything. I
had to know. I trusted you, but I had to know. You have to
understand where I’m coming from.”

“Do I? Do I really, Kelsie? Do you have any
idea where I’m coming from?”

“A little. What I can wrench out of you.
Your dad is in prison for killing your mom and beating your brother
until he was brain dead. I know your brother’s ashes are buried in
the yard of this house. Why? Why of all the places you lived did
you bury him here? Tell me, Zach, open to me. Be honest with me.
I’ve been honest with you.” She clenched her hands in to fists,
digging her fingernails into her palms.

“You have? What about stalking me with your
phone?”

The cold hands of guilt wrapped its fingers
around her throat. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. If you’d
only talked to me. Talk to me now, Zach. Why are your brother’s
ashes in the yard of this house of all the houses you’ve lived in?
Why this place?”

He went white. “The only person who knows
the answer to that is my brother, Wade.”

“Trust me enough to tell me. Open up to
someone, Zach. Take a chance on us.”

“What about you, Kel, you gonna take a
chance on me?”

“I am taking a chance on you.”

“Only because it’s to your advantage. How do
you feel about me as a person? How do you feel about our life
together? Do you want to end it in a few weeks?”

Kelsie swallowed. She didn’t want to end it,
but she didn’t want to be the first person to say those words, only
to have him laugh in her face and tell her “tough shit.” She
couldn’t bear the rejection, the heartbreak of being without him,
and she couldn’t say the words she wanted to say without knowing
where he stood.

When she didn’t answer him, he turned on his
heel and slammed the door behind him.

She reached out to him, but her plea died in
her throat.

Kelsie Murphy did not want this marriage to
end, and she had herself to blame.

CHAPTER 25

For the next few days, Kelsie drilled Zach on
proper party behavior and casual conversation until his eyes glazed
over and a hint of defensiveness and annoyance crept into his
demeanor. They sniped at each other like the sex-deprived couple
they were. Since The Fight, as she labeled it, he slept in the
other bedroom and stayed clear of her.

The day of the gala she pushed him too far,
harping on him about his clothes, his hair, his shoes. By the grim
set of his lips, he wanted to stuff a sock in her mouth.

As soon as it was time for the guests to
start arriving, Zach retreated to the deck, obviously preferring to
stand outside in the clear, frigid night rather than act as a host.
A twinge of sympathy tempered her anger. He hated social situations
like this, and she knew it’d be difficult for him, but he wasn’t
getting out of his duties that easily. Not on her life. In a huff,
she dragged him to the front door and lectured him on how to be a
proper host. He ground his teeth and stared over her head. She
reached a hand up to brush off a spot of lint on his lapel. At his
warning glare, she snatched her hand away. He brushed the lint off
himself.

She’d endured these last few days by
pretending nothing mattered. That
they
didn’t matter. That
their future was no big deal, yet inside she was a mess. A huge,
heartbroken mess. Meanwhile, Zach built prison walls around his
heart, strung barbed wire along the top, and kept his distance.

As the first guests arrived, Kelsie lurked
in the background, ready to jump in at the first sign of him
floundering. Zach’s jaw tightened and his brow creased, obviously
perturbed by her hovering. She needed to stay close, make sure he
was okay, be his lifeline, whether he appreciated her or not. She
wouldn’t let him free-fall. She’d figuratively hold his hand every
step of the way.

Zach looked like a million dollars in his
designer suit and carefully cropped hair. She loved how he filled
out the shoulders of his tux and the easy athletic grace in his
confident stride. She smiled with pride as women took second
glances at him, looking him up and down. A few times Kelsie hooked
her arm through his, just to stake her claim.

She tagged along as Zach led several
teammates through the house. They all cleaned up so well that she
barely recognized the men when they’d shown up in a group a few
minutes prior, but their large, fit bodies gave them away as
professional athletes.

They wandered through rooms transformed into
a Victorian Christmas extravaganza and a testament to Kelsie’s hard
work and lack of sleep. The group halted in a room displaying the
silent auction items to their best advantage with careful lighting
and presentation of each expensive item. She almost smiled when she
heard the pride in Zach’s voice.

Hanging back as they moved on, Kelsie
repositioned a helmet autographed by last year’s championship team
into a better spot under the makeshift spotlights illuminating the
auction items. The rest of the room was bathed in Christmas lights
nestled in sprigs of holly and cedar boughs.

“The house looks decent.”

Kelsie jumped, not realizing she wasn’t
alone in the room. She turned to face Veronica. For once the woman
looked sincere, as if she cared. Yet this was the woman who’d fired
her without even one ounce of remorse and the same woman who wanted
Zach off the team. “Thank you.”

“I’ve been doing a little research. You came
here from Texas, no money, and the only person you knew in Seattle
was Zach. I’m thinking you planned all this, knowing he’d take care
of you.”

Kelsie measured her words carefully, even
though she’d rather spit in Veronica’s face. “I can take care of
myself.”

“My father wants to extend his contract for
another two years. I’m dead-set against it. We both know you
married Zach for reasons that have nothing to do with love. Take my
advice. Get out while you can. Distance yourself. If you stay with
him, I’ll see that you never get another client in this town.”

“Why do you hate Zach so much? He’s never
done a thing to you.”

“Dad hired him to put some spark back in
this team against my recommendations. He knew about his
long-standing feud with Tyler but figured Zach’s signing would put
Tyler on notice that no one is sacred if they’re not performing up
to expectations.”

“Zach has brought back the old Tyler, from
what I understand.”

“I wouldn’t give him the credit. He’s
created a division in the team and too much strife.”

Kelsie bit back a response, torn between
defending Zach and bettering her business. “Zach and Tyler are
working hard to settle their differences.”

Veronica frowned. “All that matters to me is
the team. I convinced Dad to put his trust in Tyler Harris, and I
was right about him. He’s the face of this franchise. We built a
championship caliber team around him. Anyone who doesn’t respect
and appreciate all he’s done for the Jacks is not welcome in my
book.”

So there it was. Zach’s stubborn pride and
public dislike of Tyler had earned him a powerful enemy. Of course,
spilling a tray of drinks on the woman didn’t help. “Zach wants
what’s best for the team. He has the same goals as you.”