Down by Law (20 page)

“The police?” Fresh said, looking over at me. “How about this? Both of y'all got to go.”

“Fresh, wait a minute.”

“Ain't no wait a minute.”

“Fresh—”

“You gotta go!”

“I'm not going anywhere with you!”

“Oh, you goin',” Fresh spat. “I'm not about to deal with this!” He opened the front door. “I care about you and I wish things could've been different, but I'm not about to get locked up behind this.”

“Let's go, Isis!” Queenie grabbed me by my wrist, pulled me out the door, and before I could pull away from her, Fresh slammed the door behind me.

 

I rode quietly in the cab with Queenie, staring out the window. “Sometimes, I feel like I should've died the minute I was born.”

“Why would you say something like that?!”

“Then I wouldn't have to go through this. Especially if the people who had me wasn't gon' stick around to take care of me.”

“Don't say that.” Queenie stroked my hair.

“Get off of me.”

“Isis—”

“You and Daddy dumped me in these streets. Just left me like I wasn't nothin'. And then you show up demanding that I come with you, not caring about what I wanted or how I've been living since you left!”

“That's not true. I have missed you. I left because I had to get my thoughts straight. I was in mourning—”

“What?” I turned around and looked at her. “So what? I should feel sorry for you?”

“Isis, I thought I was doing the right thing by walking out and leaving you with your grandmother.”

Now she'd pissed me off. “See, this is exactly why I ain't even wanna be bothered with you. How you gon' sit there and say you thought you were doing the right thing? By leaving me? By not even saying good-bye? See you later? Even you saying ‘I ain't coming back' would've been better than you turning into air.”

“You were a child. I didn't know how to come and talk to you the way that you needed me to. That way that I should've.”

“Do you know how many nights I looked for you, and looked for you, and looked for you? Huh? Do you know what it was like living with Nana? She didn't buy us nothing. She didn't talk to us. She cussed us out. She hated us. And you thought you were doing the right thing? The only thing you left me with was a slap across the face. And that lasted for three years and, as far as I'm concerned, you still slapping me.”

“Isis.” She draped an arm over my shoulders. “I didn't know.”

I flung her arm off of me. “You didn't care. You were wrapped up in Queenie. And Schooly. And everything else you lost, instead of looking at me. I was right there. Right there. And it didn't matter to you—”

“It did matter. That's why I didn't take you with me!”

“You didn't take me with you because you didn't see me as being worth it. And now you wanna come back and lay out your new life and tell me I can have a new start, when I ain't never had a start in the first place, I just had to make it.”

“Isis, when I got on that bus, I didn't know where I was going. All I knew is that I had to leave and get away from everything. And I was wrong to leave you. I know that now. But I was empty. I need you to understand that. I didn't have nothing. I was a whore, living with a pimp, yo' daddy, and the life we lived was hell. And I was tired of hell. My mother died when I was seven. I never knew my father. My aunt raised me and she didn't wanna do that. So I ran away at fourteen and I met Zeke. I thought he was the answer to everything, but he wasn't.”

“So you ran away again and left me here.”

“I'm sorry.”

“And triflin'.” The cab pulled up at a red light. “I'm outta here.”

“Isis, I'm not letting you go anywhere!”

“Screw you!” I hopped out of the cab and ran across the street.

Queenie hopped out behind me. “Where are you going?!”

“I don't know 'cause I don't have anywhere to go!” I was trying to hold myself together, but I couldn't. “Do you understand how tired I am? I was selling weed trying to make it on my own. Went to jail! Now I'm out. I don't have nowhere to turn. Nowhere to go! I don't have nothing! Nothing! And now you wanna come and take what little I do have away from me!”

“And what little is that? Your boyfriend? Let me tell you something, I been exactly where you are, and all he is going to do for you is pull you down. And if you think for one minute that he loves you—”

“I know you of all people are not about to lecture me about love. What? You love me? Really? Is that how you love your child, by leaving them? You think I wanna be with Fresh like this? Depending on him? You think I don't want to be away from him?! Do you see what he did to my face?”

Tears streamed down Queenie's face. “Isis, I'm so, so sorry. I am. And I am willing to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. But if you want out, truly, truly want out then I need you to listen to me.”

“Listen to you for what?”

“Before you were brought into court today, I had a conversation with the detective. And he came up with a plan.”

I
promised Queenie that I wouldn't run away but told her that I needed her to give me a minute to breathe. At first I wasn't sure where I was going... all I knew was that I needed a minute to myself.

I rang K-Rock's bell and prayed that he answered the door. I wrung my hands and tapped the balls of my sneakers, as I pressed the bell again.

A few moments later the knob and the lock jiggled from the other side.

He opened the door and said, surprised, “Icy?”

“Yeah.”

“Come in.” He closed the door behind me. “Wassup? What you doing here?”

“K-Rock, I really need to talk to you.”

“Sure, baby. What's going on?” He sat down on the edge of the couch.

My throat swelled with tears, as I slid my glasses off and untied my hood. K-Rock looked into my face and jumped up. He walked over to me and lightly grabbed my cheek. “Yo, what the . . . what happened to you? And don't tell me nothin' about Yvette, 'cause I'm not gon' believe it.”

I shook my head. “Not Yvette. My boyfriend—”

“Your boyfriend? He did this to you? Where he at? 'Cause I'ma handle him today. This gon' be the last time he puts his hands on you.”

“No, please. I don't need you to do that. I need you to listen to me.”

“I don't need to listen. You've already said enough. He did this to you and now I'm about to go and see about him.”

“Would you listen to me?! I need to tell you this!”

“Tell me what?”

“He had on Schooly's watch.”

“What?”

“Yes. He came out the bedroom with Schooly's watch on. I confronted him and things got ugly.”

“Wait. Hold up. Who's your boyfriend? What's his name?”

“They call him Fresh.”

K-Rock looked at me like I was crazy. “You over there chillin' wit' Fresh? Do you know that's Snoop's cousin? Snoop, who killed Schooly. Snoop, who Face killed.”

“I know that now! But I didn't know he was anything to Snoop. And he just found out I was Face's sister and he went ballistic on me!”

“You lucky he didn't kill you! You hardheaded! I keep telling you to leave these streets alone, but you don't listen to nobody. You think you know everything. Now I got to go out there and risk my freedom 'cause I'ma have to put a bullet in his head, 'cause if I don't he most definitely gon' put one in yours.”

“I don't need you to do that! I need you to just be here for me. Give me a moment to figure things out. I'm messed up right now, Queenie showed up at the courthouse.”

“She did what?”

“You heard me. After all this time, she just appears like I'm supposed to run off in the sunset so we can chill. Well, that ain't happening. And you know I can't go back to my grandmother's house.”

“You can go back to your grandmother's. You just don't wanna humble yourself and apologize.”

“Apologize for what? She put me out!”

“Listen, your grandmother loves you. Otherwise she would've never took you in.”

“I'm not going back there. I'm not.”

“Well, you can't go back to Fresh's.”

“I have to.”

“What, you got a death wish? Who do you think you playing with? Do you know how dangerous he is? How much do you even know about this dude? You know he's my age right?”

“Yeah, but he ain't you.”

“No, he ain't me, 'cause I would never put my hands on you!”

“Yeah, you would never hit your lil sis.” I sucked my teeth. “You know what?” I slid my shades back on. “I got this.”

“You got what? You don't have nothin'. That's your problem—you don't never wanna deal with nothin'. I don't know what you tryna be so tough for. You think I don't know you checkin' for me? You know how long I been checkin' for you? But you was too young—”

“And what about now?! Or are you going to keep lying to yourself!”

He walked over to me and pressed his forehead against mine. “No. I'm not going to keep lying to myself. I want you. I do. But I need you to get yourself together. All this selling weed and going to jail. And Fresh. It's too much. I ain't in that life no more.”

“But this is all I know.”

“Learn something different then.”

I stared at K-Rock and looked deeply into his eyes. He was everything I wanted and more. But this wasn't about him. This was about saving my life. “You're right. I need to learn something different. Do something different. But first I got some unfinished business I need to take care of with Fresh.”

“And what's that?”

I smiled and brushed him softly with a kiss. “Listen to this . . .”

R
ing
. . . ring...

“Hello.”

“Hello. This is Isis Carter. Remember me . . . ?”

“Yes. I sure do.”

“Well, remember you said that you needed me? Well, now I need you.” I chuckled. “And no. I don't need air to breathe. Okay. Yes. I can meet you in an hour. Thank you.” Click.

 

By the time I got back to Fresh's, he was on the phone yelling about having no connect. I walked into the kitchen and looked him dead in the eyes. Before he could tell me to leave or get pissed off about me being here I placed a duffel bag filled with five pounds of marijuana in front of him.

Fresh hung up the phone without even saying good-bye. “Yo, where you get this from?” he said to me, like he was seeing things.

“I got it from my brother's homeboy.”

“Homeboy? What's his name?”

I hesitated. “It's Rick. And he owed me a favor, so I asked him to hook me up with his weed connect and he did.”

“What?” He gave me a suspicious smirk.

“Yeah. I got us some weight. And I know things are tough for you right now, so I bought that for you. And if you want, I can introduce you to him, and you two can take things from there.”

“And where is your mother?”

“She's not going to bother us. I promise.”

“Your brother's homeboy?” He frowned. “I already don't trust him.”

“Nah, baby, he's good people. I promise you. He's a friend of the family. K-Rock knows him too. And I know you're in a tight spot, which is why I wanted to check things out and get that for you myself.” I pointed to the table. “Hopefully, this'll help us get back on the right track and get past all of the nonsense trying to get in between us.”

Fresh didn't say anything. He just stared at me.

“I'm saying, baby, just take the weed and push it. And if you want, I'll set up a meeting, introduce you to him, and you two can take it from there.”

He hesitated. “Okay. A'ight. Call him up. 'Cause I'ma need more than five pounds. I'ma need at least ten more. You think he could do that?”

“Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, I just got five from him, so he should be able to do ten.”

I picked up the phone and quickly dialed the number. “Johnson, hey, wassup. It's Isis. Can you get back in touch with Nice for me? 'Cause Fresh needs to get a little bit more.”

“Okay,” Johnson said. “Say no more. Meet me in three hours at the spot.” Click. I looked at Fresh after I hung up and said, “Done.”

“A'ight.”

 

Three hours later, as Fresh and I drove to the spot, he smiled and told me about another meeting he had set up for tomorrow for a new coke connect. “That's beautiful, baby.” I forced myself to smile.

“I know it's been rough, Isis. But once I get my money rolling in again and my connects in place, baby, we gon' be straight. I promise you that.”

“Pull over there,” I said, pointing to where Johnson stood in front of a short brick building. “There he is.”

Once we were out of the car Fresh tapped the side of his pants and adjusted his gun. Then he slung his duffel bag, filled with money, over his shoulder.

“Johnson, this is Fresh and, Fresh, this is Johnson,” I said, as Fresh and I walked over to him.

They gave each other dap. “Oh, so this is Fresh,” Johnson said. “A'ight. A'ight. Good to meet you, come on inside.” He walked us into a sparsely furnished one-bedroom apartment.

“Appreciate you hooking me up, man,” Fresh said. “My connects got locked up and ain't nothin' been right since.”

“I understand that,” Johnson said.

“The streets been drying up for me and I just need a little something to get me back straight.”

“So what you need?”

“You got ten for me?”

“Yeah. Give me a minute.” Johnson walked into the back of the apartment and quickly returned with a garbage bag filled with weed.

Fresh's face lit up as he and Johnson made an even exchange.

Johnson placed the duffel bag on the floor, while Fresh looked through the garbage bag and inspected the weed. “A'ight, this is lookin' right.”

“I bet it is,” Johnson spat. “Now hold your head up and place your hands behind your back.”

“What?!” Fresh jerked his head up and Johnson had his gun drawn and pointed at him. Fresh reached for his gun, but before he was able to retrieve it, the room filled with police. “You have the right to remain silent,” Detective Johnson said to Fresh.

“You set me up!” Fresh yelled. “I can't believe this, after everything I've done for you! This is what you do!”

“So what you gon' bitch up, 'cause you got locked up? Charge it to the game.”