Down Home and Deadly (24 page)

“Do you think she killed him?” Carly asked
,
and he and I both looked at her in surprise. She shrugged. “You know her a lot better than we do.”

He considered her question then shook his head slowly. “She’s been tired of me for at least three years
,
and she didn’t try to kill me. Why would she decide to murder to get rid of a boyfriend?” When he said the word
“
boyfriend,
”
the veins in his neck stood out and his face grew red.

Thoughts of Debbie and her cell phone secret flitted through my mind. But after visiting Lisa, I was convinced that she didn’t know about J.D. and Debbie. No one was that good an actress.

“But if
she
did have a strong motive, do you think she’s capable of murder?” Carly persisted. I gave her a mental thumbs
-
up sign. Sometimes when I least expected it, her inner Nancy Drew kicked in. It always made me proud.

“Aren’t we all capable of murder in the right circumstances?” Larry gave Carly an enigmatic smile.

She stiffened
,
and I waited for righteous indignation to spew forth. She surprised me.

“In what circumstance would you, for instance, be capable of murder?” She smiled sweetly at him, tilted her head to one side
,
and waited for an answer.

“Oh, I don’t know. It would take more than my wife running off with a guy for me to kill him, if that’s what you’re getting at.” And he smiled right back at her. “I might be tempted to kill
her
in that instance. But not him.”

“And yet
.
 
.
 
.
”

“And yet, Lisa’s not dead.” He smiled. “It’s all wrong, isn’t it? Is that why you came out here? To ask me if I killed this guy?”

“Well
.
” Following Carly’s lead, I spoke more boldly than I normally would
.
“
D
o you have an alibi?”

“I don’t need one. Unless you have a badge stashed somewhere on your person, and I don’t think you do, I don’t have to answer to you.”

“So you refuse to say where you were the night of the murder?”

“I refuse to answer impertinent questions from meddling women who should be minding their own business. There. Is that blunt enough for you?”

His chilly smile never faltered as he stood and gestured to the door.

“Ladies? Let me show you out. Thank you for bringing Fluffy. Give Lisa my regards.” His voice hardened. “And tell
her
I won’t wait forever for her to come to her senses
.
Good
-
bye, ladies.” And with a mocking bow
,
he ushered us out the front door. It closed with a definite click.

“That went well,” Carly commented wryly as we exited the gates and headed home.

*****

“I hate funerals,” I complained to Carly as I pulled on one black shoe and looked around for the other one. “If Jolene hadn’t pressured me, I wouldn’t go.”

“Oh, who are you kidding?” Carly pitched me my other shoe from the closet. “I’m the one who should be complaining about being dragged along. You know what you always say about the murderer returning to the scene of the crime. You wouldn’t miss this
,
and you know it.”

I ducked my head. “You know me too well. But I do feel sorry for Jolene. She’s kind of obnoxious
,
but she doesn’t know anyone in town
,
and she was once married to J.D.”

“I feel sorry for her
,
too, I guess. But I could do it from a distance. Especially since most of my employees seem to be taking off to go.”

“Most of your employees? Who besides Debbie?” I gave her a sheepish grin. “And me?”

“
Marco
.”

“
Marco
?” That was a surprise.

“Apparently Gail asked him to go with her. I think they kind of like each other, but they’re both too busy or too shy to do much about it.”

“Wonder why Gail is going?” I’d understood she hadn’t been fond of J.D. when they worked together.

“Gail’s a younger version of us, Jenna. Raised by a
S
outhern
mama to do the right thing whether you want to or not. He was a coworker
,
and it’s the right thing to go to coworkers’ funerals.”

“I wonder if any of his grandmother’s friends will be there
.
”

“They might. But with all the trouble he apparently gave her, they might not.”

“But he did come to her funeral
,
” I reminded her.

“Yeah,
probably just
to see what he could get.” Once again my sister sounded cynical. “Are you almost ready?”

“Yeah, Jolene wanted to pick us up here
,
but I convinced her to meet us at the funeral home. Wonder how Tom will do with the funeral?”

“Oh, I think he can handle it. Assuming no one gets shot.” Carly referred to the last funeral we’d attended.

“Don’t even think that!” I shuddered. “I just meant since he didn’t know J.D. And since at least one current girlfriend, and possibly two, along with the ex-wife will probably all attend. It could be awkward.”

“Or it could be illuminating. Maybe someone will confess to his murder.”

I shook my head. “Somehow I doubt that.”

*****

As soon as Carly and I entered the funeral home chapel, Jolene strutted toward us. In deference to the solemn occasion, she had on her black halter today with a black leather skirt and black boots that came up over her knees. Her snake tattoo matched her eye liner perfectly.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Carly hissed in my ear from behind.

“Serious as a heart attack,” I murmured. “Just wait.” I’d tried to paint her a word picture of J.D.’s ex-wife, but obviously my description had fallen short of the reality.

I introduced the two women
,
and Carly expressed polite condolences.

Jolene slapped my arm with the back of her hand. “Girlfriend, didn’t you tell your sister that dying was the best thing Jimmy Dean ever did for me?”

Carly’s eyes widened, but she didn’t say a word. She and Mama were both so blessed with knowing the right thing to say that I kind of felt better that Jolene left her speechless.

Tom Le
M
ay, the funeral director, motioned Jolene toward the back. She waved at him and turned back to us. “When this is done, we need to go out and celebrate.”

Again Carly didn’t utter a word. Not even an “It was nice meeting you.”

When Jolene was gone, we found a seat halfway down the aisle
,
and Carly suddenly rediscovered her voice. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this. That woman is crazy.”

I shrugged. “She’s odd. But she’s honest. Sometimes that’s refreshing.”

Carly’s face paled. “What do you mean by that?”

I frowned. “I don’t mean anything by that. Why?”

Before she could answer, a stir at the back of the small crowd drew our attention. Lisa, dressed in an elegant black dress and flanked by her parents
,
walked past Jolene as if she weren’t there. Lisa held a dainty handkerchief to her eyes, but Bob and Wilma looked grimly forward. Each held one of Lisa’s elbows, but she didn’t look heartbroken enough to faint. In fact, either her mascara was very waterproof or the handkerchief was a show. I saw no tears. They took a seat across the aisle from us, but they didn’t look our way.

A murmured conversation behind us caused me to look back just as Tiffany and Ricky slid into the pew behind us.

She leaned forward. “Hi
.
”
S
he
spoke in the low tones people often adopt in funeral situations. “I don’t usually cover funerals, but since this guy was murdered, I figured I might get a column out of it for the paper.”

“I doubt there will be many people here,” I responded.

“That’s why I dragged Ricky along.” She patted his hand tucked around her elbow. “I thought it’d look more respectful if there were a few people attending.”

“I brought Carly for the same reason,” I said.

Like Carly, Rick looked as if he’d rather be anywhere but here, but he mustered a smile.

“Yep, that’s me. The pew-filler,” he muttered.

“It’s so nice to have someone who doesn’t mind giving up his free time when I need him.” Tiffany gave Rick a dazzling smile.

Over Tiffany’s shoulder, I saw Gail and
Marco
c
o
me in.
Marco
looked extremely uncomfortable and kept tugging at the tie wedged around his throat. Gail had the appearance of someone performing an unpleasant duty. She and
Marco
sat toward the back and spoke to each other in whispers without looking around at all.

An elderly couple entered next. They spoke briefly to Jolene and settled themselves directly in front of me. After a few moments of getting settled, the gray
-
haired
woman
turned around to me.

“Excuse me. Were you married to Jimmy? Someone said his wife was here.”

“That woman at the back is his wife.” Her husband nudged her and spoke loudly enough to be heard all over the building. “She told you that. You should’ve worn your hearing aid. Now turn around here and quit meddling.”

I bit back a smile. Would that be Alex and me in forty years? I glanced at them again. They looked vaguely familiar
,
and I was pretty sure they were the couple who talked loudly during the last funeral I attended.

“I was Mindy Finley’s closest neighbor and best friend for thirty years. If I want to ask questions about her grandson, I will.” She twisted back to face me. “I hadn’t seen Jimmy since he was a kid. He used to stay with his grandma sometimes. He worried her to death with his constant shenanigans. She bailed him out time and time again until she had nothing left to give.” She shook her head. “But he had the nerve to show up at her funeral looking for an inheritance. Now he’s got himself killed.”

Her husband tugged at her, and she turned around without waiting for any comments from me. Just as Tom started to escort Jolene to the front of the funeral parlor, the door opened and closed quickly and someone sat toward the back. I glanced around as discreetly as possible to see if I could spot the newcomers. Harvey and Alice. Came to make sure their nemesis was really gone, I guessed.

Across the way, and also on the back row, was a woman with a black dress, black hat, and glasses. I peered at her and nudged Carly. “You’re right.
Down Home
’s staff is almost all here. Debbie’s even back there.”

Carly nodded dully
,
and I turned my attention back to her. “Are you sick?”

She shook her head.

Before I could question her f
u
rther, a loud
“Psst!”
brought my attention to the aisle.

Jolene had stopped
right beside me
with Tom LeMay still on her arm. She
looked at me and
motioned around the sparsely populated room. “So which one was J.D.’s girlfriend?”

Heat cre
pt
up my face. I glanced at the
spectators
, who were all watching me. Debbie had taken the sunglasses off and was staring at me, wide-eyed. Lisa glanced toward me then looked away. “The one in black,” I whispered.

Before she could press me, Tom tugged gently on her arm. “Miss Highwater, we really must begin.”

She waggled her fingers at me and walked to the front and sat down.

Without warning, “Born to Be Wild” blared from the speakers. Everyone jumped. Jolene
had
apparently
done
a little tweaking of the funeral plans
that
she and I had made together. When the song finished, a man in a black suit got up and read the obituary. Then he cleared his throat. For the next few minutes, he spoke in fairly generic terms about how quickly life passes by and how awful it is to waste it.

Even though I knew what he said was true, my mind started to inventory all the people who might have killed Jimmy Dean Finley, their motives, and their alibis. Beside me, I suddenly felt Carly shaking. I looked over and drew in a sharp breath. Tears were coursing down her face
,
and she was quietly sobbing. “Carly?” I whispered. “Are you hurting?”

She shook her head.

“Are you sick?” Sympathetic tears were pricking my own eyes, even though I couldn’t imagine that we were crying about J.D.