Dragon: Allie's War Book Nine (96 page)

I didn’t like it at all.

“But why would he ever believe you would trust him?” I said, biting my lip.

Lying there, his heart beating against my ear, he let out a heavier sigh. Then, making a vague gesture with one hand, he rearranged his back in the cushions, combing his fingers through his black hair before he answered.

“Because I would,” he said finally.

“You would?”

He nodded, glancing down at me when I looked up. “Yes.”

I fought with bewilderment, what might have been disbelief, but Revik sighed again, clicking softly, even as he pressed his lower body against me, a flicker of pain leaving his light.

“Menlim has this weird code thing,” he explained, his German accent thicker. “He would adhere to the letter of it…at least until I gave him an excuse. It would not have to be a particularly good excuse, wife…but he would need one. It would need to be sufficient for him to feel justified in breaking this thing with me. He would know I would know that.”

“Why?” I said. “I mean, why would he bother?”

Revik shrugged. “It is just his way.”

“So you would give him a reason to break it once you were there?” I said, biting my lip. “So why do we need to go to such lengths––”

“You know why,” Revik said, his voice exasperated. “Menlim knows I know him. He would know that I would be very, very careful not to give him an excuse…”

“Does it have to be something this fucking
drastic,
though?” I said, frustrated. “Does it have to be about us?”

“Yes,” he said. Looking down at me again, he frowned, his light exuding another coil of pain as he caressed my skin. “I cannot do this stupidly, Allie.
We
cannot. I know him. It would take a few months…at least…or he would definitely suspect something. Probably five or six months, minimum, to be safe. I have to really make him think that this is not what I want.” He hesitated, stroking my hair once more, combing it through his fingers gently. I felt his light skirting around the next thing. “…He knows I would not just ‘fuck up,’ Allie…not in the usual way. He has to think I’m desperate. Out of my mind with desperation…”

He shrugged, his light again holding that apology as he glanced at me.

“…Not rational, wife.”

I could feel the meaning there, too.

I knew exactly what he was driving at.

I also saw the brilliance in it. And the utter fucking stupidity.

“Revik…”

“You’re the only thing that would do that to me, Allie,” he said. His voice grew taut, heavier with pain, even as his fingers tightened on my back. “Believe me when I say I’ve thought about this. But it’s the only fucking thing…”

Stopping his words, he exhaled in what almost felt like anger, even as a sharper pain expanded off his light.

“What makes you think I could get someone to go there with me?” I said, pressing my lips together. “Enough to make it convincing, I mean?”

He grunted, cocking an eyebrow at me.

I frowned up at him, annoyed in spite of myself. “I’m serious, Revik…”

“We can talk about the particulars on that later,” he said, his voice gruff. “I can’t do that tonight, Allie…I can’t. But trust me, that end of things does not worry me at all.”

“Because of some Bridge light crap?” I muttered, still annoyed.

“Among other things, yes,” he said, his voice closer to a growl. “That ‘Bridge light crap’ is a fuck of a lot more compelling than you seem to think.”

I grunted again, not answering him at first.

“What if we can’t sell this?” I said then, exhaling. “You say you’re not worried, but what if we really can’t sell it...either of us? No one’s going to believe this of us, Revik. No one.”

But he was shaking his head, his mouth grim.

“We can sell it,” he said.

“How do you know? You’re expecting a fuck of a lot from me…and from whoever it is.”

He shook his head a second time, clicking. “All you would have to do is be convincing enough from the outside that it gets to Menlim’s people through the mole. It would help if I felt it through my light, too…but we can’t make that too obvious either. We have to at least pretend we’re trying to shield from one another.”
 

Gripping me tighter, he shrugged. I felt another flush of that heat coil into my chest.
 

“Menlim would tell me, Allie,” he said. “…he would make sure I knew.”

I was shaking my head again, but Revik sighed, clicking softly.

He gestured gracefully with one hand. “Of course, you could not be too obvious in the other respects, either…or the lead up to this. There would need to be a courtship…resistance on your part, at least at first. You could insist to everyone that it is only sex, that you are loyal to me. We can talk about the particulars of that, too…more than me, you should definitely try to shield the sex from me at first. In fact, maybe it’s better if I don’t…others will be more likely to believe you would have an affair if it is common knowledge that I am not adhering to vow, and there are more who would believe that of me than you...”
 

Still thinking, he added, “I could drink a lot. I would do that anyway. Lose control of my light when I’m with others…again, Menlim knows I don’t deal with separation well. He would believe this. Especially if I was thinking about you...”

Feeling the anger on my light, he glanced down at my face. He gave me a grim look, but I could still feel him thinking when he nodded again.

“But yes…stages, wife,” he said. “Refuse to open your light to whoever it is. Refuse to share a bed with them at first. It will have to be gradual to be convincing, which is another reason we will need more than just a few weeks…”

Holding me tighter, he studied my face. “Menlim knows the bond is strong. He knows it would not bend or break so easily…no matter what attraction existed. You will have to be very careful not to rush things…both of us will…”

Revik gave me a harder look, his clear eyes glowing slightly as he looked at me.
 

“I would lose my fucking mind if I thought you were with someone else,” he said, his voice blunt, holding a denser thread of pain. “…especially if I thought it was more than sex. If I thought there was any chance you were in love with them…” He shook his head, clicking softly. “I would not be rational, Allie. I
won’t
be rational. There is no fucking way. Menlim will know this…he will believe it, if it is real. You don’t need to worry about ‘selling’ anything…I will be threatened enough, just from being separated from you for so long…”

He clenched his jaw, studying my expression before he met my gaze.

“We might even be able to find someone who could be in on it with you,” he added, coiling his fingers into my hair. “Someone who could help you with this. They would have to be a damned good infiltrator, but it is possible.”

Shrugging, he stared at the far wall, still tugging at and playing with my hair, even as I felt his pain worsen. I felt possessiveness on him, even as he tried to hide it. Despite what he’d said, I could also feel him considering different names.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said then, his voice holding a faint thread of tension. “Even if we don’t tell them, I am not worried. It will be real enough. I won’t have to fake very much…not if we do it the way we’ve been talking about.”

I winced again, shaking my head.

I could tell he was more stressed than he was pretending, if only because his accent was so thick I was having trouble understanding him.

“This
can’t
be the only way,” I muttered.

“It
is
the only way,” Revik said. “Do you think I would ever suggest this lightly?
Gaos
…even thinking about it makes me fucking insane…”

His pain worsened, again making me wince, again making me close my eyes.

Shaking my head where my face pressed against his bare chest, I looked for another thread, any way to make it come out different.

“What if we made it seem like Lily was at risk? Or Maygar?” I bit my lip, wincing at my own words. “Not for real, of course…we wouldn’t really put them at risk…but wouldn’t that be a lot easier to fake? Parents are never rational about their kids.”

I glanced up at him, watching him stare up at the ceiling, adding, “And that wouldn’t take months of us both, you know…doing what you said…”

Stopping, I shook my head, not wanting to finish that thought.

At the same time, I felt the cowardice there, how much my heart hurt at the thought of offering up Lily. Or Maygar, for that matter. Even so, it was a bullshit offer and I knew it, which is probably why I could say it at all.

I knew even before Revik answered that it wouldn’t be enough. Not with Menlim.

Faking some kind of danger to our child would never be enough. Like Revik said, I doubted it would be enough to fake anything, honestly.

Revik was right. It would have to be real.

On some level, at least.

He probably felt some of that on me, but he answered me anyway, clicking softly.

“No, darling,” he murmured, kissing my cheek. “When it comes to my kids, Menlim knows nothing would scare me more than the idea of him having custody of them.” He kissed me again, pressing his face against mine. “…Nothing,” he added, softer. “I would never do anything that might put my children under his care. I would never willingly enter into his network…never…not if I was thinking about my kids. No matter what the risk.”

His light exuded an apology, even as I felt his mind still working in those higher currents of light, turning over scenarios, threading them together in different combinations.

“I love my children,” he said softly. “But I’m more rational about them. Menlim would know that, too.”

I nodded, feeling that sharper pain harden in my chest.

“…Anyway,” he murmured, exhaling in a sigh as he tightened his arms around me. “Lily would have you. And Balidor. And your parents…and Wreg, who is scary enough on his own. Menlim knows that. So would I. I would be more likely to trust you to protect Lily than do anything to risk making myself a greater danger to either her or Maygar.”

Lying on the floor of the tank, naked and wrapped only in my husband, I nodded.

I let my light flicker out briefly though, touching our daughter where she lay wrapped up in blankets about ten yards from where we were. Lily slept blissfully in a portioned-off part of the same container, her head mashed up against the stuffed elephant she’d been given by Uncle Wreg and Uncle Jon, her fingers clutching his plush leg. I imagined I could feel the ocean rolling under where we lay, rocking her as she slept, rocking us.

I felt so safe there, with the two of them.

So fucking safe.

Closing my eyes, I fought back the fear that wanted to steal over my light, a fear so intense it made my stomach cold, twisting my intestines into hard knots.

“We can’t keep running, wife,” he said, softer still. “We can’t.”

I opened my eyes, staring into the dark without lifting my head from his chest.

I knew he was right.

I knew it.

But I couldn’t make myself answer him.

“Come on, baby…” I murmured. “Come on…I need you more awake than this.”

Caressing his face, I paused to stroke his hair, even as my light slid deeper into his. I felt him tense in my arms even as he leaned into me again, gripping my sides with his fingers. His light coiled into me harder, and I winced at the pain there, feeling it worsen on my end even as I struggled to keep us both shielded.