Dragon Apocalypse (The Berserker and the Pedant Book 2) (16 page)

Pellonia’s lips puckered.
 
“Shield spell and Wands of Light.”
 

Maximina rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

“My axe stopped working too,” Gurken grumbled.
 
He shook the axe once more.

“There’s something about this world preventing our magic from working,” Pellonia said.
 
“I wonder what it is…”

“It’s not magic!” Maximina said.
 
“It’s technology!”

“What’s the difference?” Pellonia asked.

Maximina started to say something, the she shrugged.

“That’s all fine and good,” Gurken said.
 
“But where do we go from here?”

“We’ve got find Arthur, rescue Ohm and stop Melody and Arthur from opening the Portal to the Phage homeworld.”

“A good strategy, even if not yet a plan.
 
Where should we start?” Gurken asked.
 

Maximina took off her now useless Boots of Levitation, Tiara of Shielding, and Wands of Light and shoved them into her magic sack.

“Where could Arthur be?” Pellonia asked.

“I’m not sure,” Gurken said.
 
“The last time we saw Arthur before he resurfaced, was at the end of the Phage invasion.
 
He was being repulsed by goblins and dwarves with some help from giant ants.
 
He headed back towards the enormous rock the Phage came out of when they landed.”

“Seems like a logical place to start,” said Pellonia.
 
“First things first; let’s get out of this dungeon.”

“There it is,” said Gurken.
 
“The rock the Phage came to this world on.”

Gurken, Pellonia, Maximina, and Apocalypse stood on the edge of the cliff, looking out over the valley.

“This is the cliff where we watched the Phage land,” said Pellonia.
 
“It was right over there that I — well, the other Pellonia — was transported to the elven ship,” she said pointing to a patch of otherwise unremarkable dirt.

“And right over there the portal opened, and I came through with the goblin horde,” said Gurken, pointing to another unremarkable patch of dirt.

“But I don’t remember that house,” Pellonia said, pointing to a house with a small picket fence around it.
 
Gurken and Pellonia looked at each other and Gurken shrugged.
 

“Let’s see who’s home,” he said.

Pellonia opened the small gate and they walked up to the house.
 
She knocked and they waited.
 
The door opened.
 
A man with the head of a large cat stood inside, wearing a pair of spectacles and a bathrobe, he had several sheets of paper with writing and pictures on them rolled and stuffed under one arm.

“Hello.
 
Can I help you?” said the man.

Pellonia and Gurken looked at each other, then back at the man.
 
“Hi, my name’s Pellonia.
 
My friends and I were here several years ago, fighting off the Phage.”

“I see,” said the man.
 
“That doesn’t really explain how I can help you.”

“We’re looking for a former friend of ours, Arthur Gimble, wizard of the tenth rank.
 
Last we saw, he was headed back to that rock.”
 
Pellonia pointed.

The man raised an eyebrow.
 
“A former friend of yours, you say?”

“Well, he’s still a friend of ours, but his mind is now controlled by the Phage.
 
He’s trying to open a portal to the Phage homeworld and we’d like to stop him.”

The man nodded.
 
“Please, come in,” he said, stepping back and gesturing for them to enter.
 
After everyone else was seated in the sitting room, the man sat in a comfortable chair, took out a pipe and filled it with some dried leaves.
 
He lit it and took a few puffs.

“Would anyone like some tea?” he asked.
 
Everyone nodded.

“Clem,” the man shouted into the back room. “Please bring us some tea.”
 
The cottage began to shake as heavy footsteps thudded on the hardwood floors.
 
Glassware rattled and clinked and everyone’s teeth rattled together as Clem ducked under a doorway and walked into the room.

Gurken jumped to his feet, drawing his axe.
 
Pellonia hopped up behind her chair.
 
Apocalypse perked up from his spot on the floor and cocked his head to the side.
 
Maximina shoved a hand into her magic sack.
 
Clem’s head was a humanoid amalgamation of several creatures sewn together with heavy leather cords.
 
He was almost eight feet tall and wore tattered rags, remnants of outfits worn by the various creatures he had been stitched together from and reanimated.

“Hello, Risabh,” said Clem to the man, politely but slurring his words.
 
“I bring tea.
 
No.
 
No.
 
NO!” Clem yelled.
 
“I brought tea.
 
Yes, I brought you tea.”
 
Clem seemed to calm down.
 
“Clem brought tea.”
 
Clem smacked himself in the head.
 
“I brought you tea.”

“Thank you, Clem.”
 
Risabh gestured for Clem to set the tea on the table, which he did.

Pellonia looked closely at Clem, seeing a grayish patch of hair that looked familiar, she said, “Moog?
 
Are you in there?”

Clem nodded.
 
“I’m not Moog.
 
Moog.
 
Who Moog?
 
Who ‘is’ Moog?”
 
Clem’s voice raised and lowered with each sentence.

“Arthur?” Gurken asked.

“Yes, it is I.
 
Moog.
 
Who Arthur?” asked Clem.
 
Clem smacked the side of his head.
 
“STOP!
 
Ahhhh.”

“You recognize some of Clem’s components?” Risabh asked.
 
“Interesting.”

“Components?” Pellonia asked.
 
“What have you done?”

“What have I done?
 
Isn’t it obvious? I took the remnants of corpses I came across, stitched them together, and imbued them with a new soul.”

“You created a flesh golem?” Maximina asked.

“I suppose that term could be used to describe it.
 
I came to this world after discovering the Phage made their way here.
 
Wherever the Phage go, carnage is sure to follow.
 
Plenty of bodies to work with.
 
Clem is my masterpiece.
 
Finest flesh golem I’ve ever created.
 
A few centaurs, goblins, lots of them.
 
Lots of dwarves too.
 
A few trolls, which provide the size and helpful regenerative capabilities, even an elf!
 
Quite lucky there.”

“Clem not happy!” said Clem.
 
“Clem -is- not happy!”

C
HAPTER
F
IFTEEN

The Berserker and the Cube

“I BELIEVE THAT was one of the most vile creatures I’ve ever met,” Pellonia said.

“Clem is right here, he can hear you.
 
That’s not very nice,” Maximina said.

“I meant Risabh,” Pellonia clarified.

“Risabh was very polite,” Gurken said.
 
“An excellent host.”

“That’s part of what makes him so evil.
 
It wouldn’t have been polite to kill him.”

“He did send Clem along with us to help us on our quest,” Maximina said.

“Yes,” said Pellonia.
 
She squinted her eyes and looked up at Clem.
 
“He did.”

Gurken, Pellonia, Maximina, Apocalypse, and Clem stood at the entrance to a cave in the side of the enormous rock that was once the Phage ship.
 
The ground around the rock was scarred and burnt from the landing.
 
Dirt had been thrown for miles.
 
The land had since begun to heal, small trees had taken root, and bushes and grasses had grown.
 

They’d had to hike down an enormous crater to reach the entrance.
 
It was sealed with a massive oaken door. There were no knobs on this side, nor any other indication of how to open it.
 
A small barred window sat in the center, but wood covered the other side of it.

“Everyone stand back,” Gurken said, taking his axe off of his back.
 
“I’ll get us in.”
 
He glared at Uruz, the dwarfen rune of physical strength, speed, and masculine potency etched on the head of the axe.
 
The rune glared back, but did not ignite, glimmer, or even smolder.

Pellonia looked perplexed. “Are you sure you want to break the door down with your axe, Gurken?
 
You’ll have to sharpen it.”

“Stand aside, master thief,” Gurken said.
 
“Your skills are useless here.
 
As you can see, there is no lock for you to pick.
 
The door is barred from the other side.”

“You haven’t even tried to open it yet,” Pellonia said.
 
She walked up to the door and gave it a nudge.
 
It did not open.

“As I said,” said Gurken, “stand aside.”
 
Gurken took an enormous swing at the door, his axe biting deeply and lodging into it. Gurken strained to pull the axe back out of the door.

The board behind the window slid aside and a face with bushy eyebrows and a bulbous nose looked out.
 
“Did you just cut into my door with your axe?” the dwarf asked.

“Aye, I did,” Gurken agreed, turning red.

“Without knocking first?
 
Just come cuttin’ your way in?”

“Well, the door was in our way.”

“I should hope so!
 
That’s what doors are for.
 
To keep some people in, some people out, and let others pass between.
 
It wouldn’t be of much use if it didn’t get in folks’ way.”

“But we needed to get by,” Gurken said.

“Did you consider knocking?”

“I did try to push it open,” Pellonia said.
 
“It didn’t budge.”

“Of course not!
 
It’s locked!
 
To. Keep. People. Out.
 
You have seen a door before, have you not?”

“Well, yes.”

“Then let’s try this again. I’m going to close the window.
 
You knock.”

“But we’ve already got your attention,” Pellonia said.

“It seems to me, that you need the practice,” said the dwarf, closing the wooden cover behind the window.

Gurken rolled his eyes, managed to free his axe from the door, and knocked.
 
The window slid open once more, and the dwarf looked out.

“Who goes there?”

“It’s us,” said Gurken, “from just a moment before.”

“I can see that,” said the dwarf.
 
“I didn’t know who you were then, still don’t know who you are now.
 
All I know is that doors are quite challenging for you.”

“Very well.
 
It is I, Gurken Stonebiter, avatar of Durstin Firebeard and templerager of the Stonebiter clan, lorekeeper of the goblin horde, slayer of elves.”

“Just the one elf,” said Clem, holding up one finger, then flicking his pointed ear with it.

“Slayer of elf,” Gurken concurred.

“I see,” said the dwarf. “Do you have a pass?”

“A pass!” Gurken exclaimed.

“Yes, I’m afraid I need to see a pass before I can let you in.”

Gurken raised his axe to the heavens and thundered, “Here’s my pass!”
 
He looked around, but nothing happened.
 
No rune glowed upon the axe’s head, no fire rained down from the heavens.
 
“That was rather less impressive than before,” Gurken muttered.