Draw Me Close (14 page)

“Of course not. Is it unlocked?”

She nodded and he headed back toward the front door and across the yard. When he opened the door to her backseat he stopped short. A car seat. For a fairly small child. Something bright on the floor caught his attention. Toys. A pacifier. He knew this look, this was a mom backseat. And just like that his body went rigid. Surely someone would have mentioned it if Lindsey had a kid. Surely
she
would have mentioned it. It certainly would be the most twisted kind of irony if she'd withheld that kind of information.

Derek grabbed the box loaded with supplies, pushed the door shut with his shoulder, and headed back inside. Lindsey was already wiping down the cabinets with a rag. She glanced over when he entered the kitchen but quickly went back to her task.

“Do you have a child?” He couldn't help himself. It just came out. He had to know.

She let out an awkward laugh and then stood facing him. “Uh, no.”

“Why is there a car seat in your backseat?”

“That's Eden's. My niece.”

Relief surged through him and he set the box down on the floor. He wasn't sure why the idea had upset him so much, but damn, it had. A lot. It wasn't the idea of a child that upset him, but the idea that she'd have been that close to someone else. Experienced something so important with another man. It wasn't lost on him that that was exactly what she'd had to feel about him. It was like a deep gnawing ache in his chest to think of Lindsey with anyone but him.

“I didn't know you had a niece.”

“Well, how would you? I didn't tell you.” Lindsey went back to wiping down the nearest cabinet.

“How old is she?” Derek asked. He began to unload the cans of stain and lay them out. Lindsey definitely had good quality stuff. Clearly she'd done this before and knew what she was doing.

“She's almost four months old. She's also the reason I was up so early. Last night was her first night in her big-girl crib. Her room is right next to mine and she was up every few hours wailing.”

Lindsey was still facing away from him but Derek smiled at the way her voice softened when she spoke of her niece.

“New babies are hard. I remember when Tanner was first born, I thought I'd never get a full six hours again. He took quite a few months to start sleeping through the night.”

“Yeah, Mel thought she was ready. I guess she'd slept without waking up to eat for two nights, but I'm not so sure.”

“It's like they know you're not near. Tanner was the same way when we moved him into his own room. He'd cry and I'd go get him, change his diaper, and then bring him to Lisa to feed. A lot of nights we were so tired we'd let him fall back asleep between us.”

Lindsey stopped moving, her hand frozen on the cabinet in front of her.

Shit.
“I'm sorry, that was—”

“Don't apologize.” She quickly got back to work. “Of course you'd have wonderful memories of that time in your life.”

He needed to put a muzzle on. Not that he regretted what he'd said. Tanner's birth truly was one of the most magical things that had ever happened to him, but he could have kept those comments to himself for now. She was probably imagining that he'd left her only to get married and become blissfully happy with Lisa.

That couldn't be further from the truth. Sure, he'd tried. In the beginning he'd committed himself fully to trying to make Lisa happy. When Tanner was a couple of years old they'd even attempted to have another child. He'd hoped maybe a planned pregnancy—one that hadn't turned their world upside down—would make them feel complete. Happy. But the truth was, he and Lisa just hadn't been compatible and no child could fix that. Toward the end they hadn't even shared a bed and even their brittle friendship had slowly crumbled, turning into anger and resentment.

“So how long have you been living with your sister?” he asked, trying to change the subject.

“A month or so. It's just temporary.” Lindsey moved on to another section of the cabinet.

“Until what?”

“Until I find another place.” Her voice held a note of annoyance so he decided it was probably best if he let it drop. He could more than likely get more info about Lindsey from Mike.

“Okay. So what should I do?”

Finally she put her cloth down and turned to him.

“There's another cloth in my bag. We wipe everything down and then clean it up with a vacuum attachment.” She nodded to the vacuum in the corner. “Then we stain.”

“Easy enough.”

Derek walked over to her bag, grabbed a small towel and wet it in the sink. He walked to the other end of the cabinet and began to scrub. After a few minutes he glanced over at Lindsey to find her watching him. When their eyes met she gave a hesitant smile and then turned away.

It reminded him so much of their stolen glances from the beginning. For so long he'd suppressed thoughts of this woman, basically because they were useless. He'd lost her and everything they'd found in one another. The easy laughs, the stolen kisses, and eventually the consuming passion that he'd never known up to that point or any time after. Even to this day. They might not get back there—probably wouldn't because they were no longer those people. But he'd take what he could get.

 

Nine

Monday morning, the sky was a brilliant blue and the air was inviting. It wasn't unusual in the Midwest to need snow boots one week and flip-flops the next. This was one of those rare and beautiful late February days that made you want to go outside and soak up the warmth of the sun, which was exactly what Lindsey planned to do.

Derek had to visit a job site in the city so Lindsey considered it a work-from-home kind of day. She pulled Eden's bouncy seat out onto the deck, placed her inside of it, and then ran back into the kitchen to grab her coffee. After turning on a musical toy to keep her niece appeased for a while, she finally settled into one of the comfortable patio chairs. The brace on her arm itched like crazy so she undid the straps and rested her arm on the cool glass tabletop before tilting her face up to the sky.

It was heavenly, the heat on her skin and just the slightest hint of a breeze. Birds sang along with the toy's happy jingle and Lindsey smiled. She needed this. The entire weekend she'd been overwhelmed and confused about the previous week. Overwhelmed with all of the work that still needed to be done on the house and confused by her unsettled feelings about Derek.

They'd now worked together for most of the week. Tuesday they'd finished the lower cabinets, Thursday glazed the uppers, and Friday they'd prepped the floors. Tomorrow they planned to stain them. The most annoying part was that she was beginning to look forward to seeing him. That was a dangerous feeling. She'd been down that road before. The one where he made her feel good about herself. Flirted with her just a little, then a lot. Then made her fall hard for him. That road had ended in heartbreak, which was exactly what she never wanted to experience again. And yeah, he'd slowly started to break rule one, but she'd let him get away with it. Definitely unwise, but she couldn't seem to help herself.

Deciding she had more important things to dwell on, Lindsey sat up, took a sip of her coffee, and then opened her newest crafting magazine. She loved to look through and get ideas for projects, find out what was becoming trendy. If it wasn't for her art she would go crazy. If things were different financially, her work could resume being her source of peace instead of another stressor.

She flipped through the pages, making mental notes to herself. Between her Etsy shop, consigned custom furniture pieces, and occasional design clients, she was doing okay. But her inventory would soon run out and she required money to make money. Supplies weren't free, and as much as she loved a good Dumpster dive, she often had to scour antiques and garage sales to find good items worthy of repurposing. She needed to do better. If her father was able to pay her back the money he'd borrowed over the past year, she'd be in a lot better shape, but she wasn't going to hold her breath on that front. Her dad didn't have anyone else so she didn't regret helping him. He knew better then to ask Mel for money. It was time for Lindsey to start making a plan.

Eden began to fuss so Lindsey leaned down. “Hey, pretty girl, did you lose your paci?” Lindsey pushed the rubber back between Eden's tiny lips and then started the musical toy once more. She hummed along, smiling to herself when she realized she knew every note of the baby toy.

Lindsey's phone rang and she glanced at the caller ID. She smiled to herself when she read Callie's number before answering. “Hey!”

“Hay is for horses,” Callie said.

“Ha ha.” Lindsey loved how her friend always sounded happy. Several months back, Callie had started dating Preston High's football coach and was madly in love.

“I'm headed downtown to the restaurant supply shop to get some things and wondered if you wanted to meet for lunch after.”

“I'd love to, but I'm watching Eden for Mel,” Lindsey said.

“Ooh, even better. Bring her with. I thought we could discuss Anne's bachelorette party.”

“Okay, that sounds good. Oh, but wait…” Lindsey gave a pause, glanced down at her sleeping niece, and continued. “Eden just said she can only agree if we do Thai.”

Callie laughed. “Four months and she's already so bossy. She's my type of girl. Want me to come by and pick you up?”

“How about we meet you? I've got the car seat already hooked up in my car. Eleven?”

“Sounds good, see you soon.”

Two hours later Lindsey walked into Lulu's Noodle Shop, Eden in her car seat slung over her good arm. Callie waved from a booth near the back and Lindsey made her way toward the table. The hostess brought a holder for Eden's carrier and then Lindsey slid into the booth.

“Look at her. She's still so tiny.” Callie smiled as she peered into the car seat. “Soooo. Tell me how it's been going with Mr. Walsh.”

Lindsey just shook her head and smiled. “It's fine. It's nice to have the help and things are coming along nicely.”

“Coming along, huh? So have you kissed him?”

“Oh my goodness, no way!”

Callie laughed. “Okay, okay. You just never know. You guys create a lot of energy when you're in the same room. If you're not too careful it's going to combust.”

Lindsey didn't have much time to process that thought because their server greeted them. They ordered crab rangoon, chicken pad thai with extra heat, and two green teas.

“Okay, so continue with your story,” Callie said.

“I don't recall telling a story.”

“Well, you were just getting started.”

“Oh no I wasn't,” Lindsey said with a laugh. “There's really nothing to tell. We've kind of come to an understanding, I guess. We're friendly and working well together for now.”

“You know he wishes it were more,” Callie said.

Lindsey's stomach dropped at the comment. “You can't be certain of that. And I don't think he does. He feels bad for the way things ended, that's all. He needs to know I'm over it and maybe someday I can give him that. I don't know.”

“Have you guys talked about it?”

“A little. But I think we both realize that there is nothing to be gained by going over it again and again.”

“I can see your point, I guess. But have you forgiven him?”

Lindsey blew out a hard breath, considering her answer. “I don't know. I'm just not sure how I feel about any of it anymore. It still hurts but … I don't know. Maybe I've realized it was long ago and it doesn't do me any good to hold on to the anger.”

Callie gave her a weak smile. “I'm sorry that happened to you. I wish I'd been your friend then. You better believe I'd have beaten that boy's ass for you.”

Lindsey smiled. “I do believe it.”

Eden began to stir in her seat, probably ready for her own lunch. Lindsey pulled a pumped bottle out of the diaper bag and began to unbuckle her from the car seat.

“Can I feed her?” Callie asked, eyes wide with excitement.

“Of course.” Lindsey lifted Eden and then placed her in Callie's arms.

“Oh my goodness, she's so tiny. I want to take you home with me.” Callie spoke in a baby voice down at Eden and then kissed her fuzzy little head. Eden responded by squirming, her face twisting into a cry.

Lindsey handed Callie the bottle and then sat down to her own lunch. “Okay, I've dished my dirt. When are you and Coach gonna start making babies?”

“Hush your mouth,” Callie whispered, as if her voice might disturb Eden's meal. “I'm nowhere near ready for babies. Although this cutie could maybe change my mind.”

Lindsey chuckled. She knew what Callie meant. Holding Eden was magical. The difference was, Callie had a partner. One that Lindsey was pretty darn sure her friend planned to be with forever. She didn't know Bennett real well yet, but she could tell just by the way he looked at Callie that they were it for one another. And Lindsey could totally see Bennett as a family guy. He probably wanted three boys and a baby sister. The thought of Callie with multiple kids made Lindsey giggle.

“What?” Callie asked.

“Just imagining you with a brood of children.”

“Oh, no way, Linds. Don't let Bennett hear you say that. He's already informed me his first son will be named Robert after one of his first coaches.”

“Robert?” Lindsey cried, her eyes widening. “He is so going to knock you up soon. But a little boy nicknamed Bobby would be so cute. Little Bobby Clark.”

“Right? Isn't it the cutest thing you've ever heard?” Callie crooned. They both laughed and then began to discuss Anne's party while Eden ate her lunch. They'd thrown Anne a bridal shower in January that had been a success. Quite a feat considering Callie and Lindsey had both been nervous about planning a party for the woman who did that for a living. But Anne had loved every minute of it.