Drawn Deeper (15 page)

She hesitated. “Are you sure?”

“Of course. How long will it take that lasagna you made to cook?”

“Is it thawed?”

I shook my head.

“At least an hour and a half.”

“I’ll grill burgers, then.”

“Dad, watch this!” Eric yelled from the pool.

He submerged his head under water and came bouncing back up, splashing and smiling.

“Nicely done,” I said. I turned to Meredith. “I’m gonna start dinner.”

“How can I help?”

“I’ve got it. You just sit here and read. Maybe pull the skirt of your dress up a little when you get back in the chair.”

She laughed, but I knew it was no coincidence that when I was grilling, the slit in her skirt faced me and gave me a nice view all the way up to her lower thigh.

I felt a new flare of anger over the argument with my mom this afternoon. I would never tell Meredith how my mom felt about her. From comments she’d made, I knew Meredith was aware of her reputation with others in Lovely. I wished there was a way I could protect her from all that. None of those people deserved to have the power to make her feel bad for even a single second.

The boys’ friends stayed for dinner, and as they ate, they all had the bronzed, worn look of an entire day in the pool. As soon as they were finished, they wanted to get back in the water.

They swam until sundown, and I gave them fifteen minutes with the pool lights on before I made them get out. The neighbor kids rode their bikes home, and Jordan and Eric changed into their pajamas, brushed their teeth, and didn’t put up any fight over going to bed.

“You want a story?” I asked Eric.

“Maybe tomorrow,” he said, yawning.

That was rare. Swimming all day took it out of them. I tucked both boys in, and when I got back downstairs, Meredith had finished loading the dishwasher and was starting it.

When she turned back to the sink, I wrapped my arms around her from behind. She put her hand on my arm and leaned back against me.

I stayed that way for a minute, just taking in the faint sweetness of the perfume on her neck and the feel of her body against mine.

As I dipped my face down to kiss her neck, she stiffened.

“You okay?” I whispered.

“I just don’t want the kids to see us,” she whispered back.

“There’s a creak at the top of the stairs. I’d hear them coming.”

I took her by the waist and turned her around to face me. Uncertainty swam in her hazel eyes.

“What is it?” I asked her.

She hesitated. “I’m afraid they’ll think I’m trying to take Kim’s place. I could never do that—I’d never
want
to do that, but in a child’s mind . . .”

“They don’t think that, Mer.”

“Not when I’m just hanging out with them or helping with homework. But if they see us like this, that might change.”

I bent to rest my forehead against hers. “You’re overthinking this.”

“What if they notice the way I look at you?”

“Then they notice, but I don’t think it’ll happen.”

“They might not . . . like me anymore, though.”

My admiration for her grew as I realized she was genuinely worried about this. She cared about Jordan and Eric.

I kissed her softly, but she was still stiff with tension.

“Creak in the stairs,” I whispered against her lips. “I promise. It’s unmistakably loud.”

She relaxed and wrapped her arms around my neck.

“Am I the only one thinking about what we did in this kitchen last Friday night?”

“No, I think about it at least a dozen times a day.”

“You’re a born spanker, Dr. Lockhart.”

I kissed her. “And you’re a born spankee. It’s like you were made to take it.”

“From you? Definitely.”

With a low groan, I kissed her a little harder. Soon she was pressed against me, her fingers woven into my hair.

“I should go before this gets out of hand,” she said, easing herself away from me.

“I guess.”

“I had fun tonight.”

“Me too.”

She put a hand on my cheek and brushed her thumb across it. “I just want to tell you that you’re a great dad.”

“Thanks. I try to be.”

“You are.”

“Do the kids ever say anything about Kim to you?”

She furrowed her brow in thought. “Not much. Eric and I were reading a book about a mommy alligator one day, and he told me he doesn’t have a mom anymore. That’s the only time I can remember either of them saying anything.”

“Damn. I hate that he thinks that.”

“I know. But you do everything possible to make them feel loved.”

I shook my head. “It’s not the same, though.”

“Do you wish she’d come back?”

“No.”

“Just keep doing what you’re doing. The boys both seem happy and well-adjusted to me.”

“They both like you a lot.”

She smiled. “I like them, too. I think the best thing for them at this point is that I be a friend—to all of you.”

“I agree.” I rested my forehead on hers again. “It means a lot to me that you get that. That you know I can’t have a traditional relationship.”

“I’m just happy to have what I can get of you.”

She smiled and pulled away, picking up her bag from the counter.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay. Goodnight.”

I walked her out to her Jeep, but she got inside and put it in reverse before I could kiss her. Not that I probably would have, anyway, with the neighbors watching.

I shook my head as I walked back into the house. It was awkward as hell to have to think about this stuff at thirty-seven years old.

Meredith

The boys were wearing me down by the day. After just thirty minutes of Eric working on reading and Jordan working on writing, they’d convinced me to play cards.

“Go fish,” I said, narrowing my eyes in mock seriousness.

Jordan pulled the card he needed from the pile on the table and did a little dance to celebrate.

They’d been swimming again today while Stephanie babysat, and both of them had a golden summer glow I envied.

“Hey, Meredith, what are you doing tonight?” Jordan asked me.

“When your dad gets here, I have to run back to work, actually. Our finance guy had to leave early today, and I have to cover the end of his shift.”

“When is that over?”

“Seven.”

“My game starts at seven. Maybe you can come but just be a little late.”

His brown eyes, the same dark shade as his father’s, lit up hopefully.

I knew I shouldn’t go. It would be uncomfortable to show up there and have not just the Lockharts, but others, staring at me and wondering about my ulterior motives. Not that I had any, but the truth made for lousy gossip.

But I’d already put Jordan off a couple times, and I couldn’t do it again. I wanted to watch him play.

“I’ll be there,” I said.

“You will?”

“Absolutely.”

“Cool.”

“I’ll be there, too,” Eric said, grinning. “Maybe we can play at the park together.”

“She’ll be watching my game,” Jordan said, his brows knitted together.

“Hey, guys,” Kyle called from the kitchen.

The boys mobbed him, both wanting to tell him about their day, and I told Kyle I had to get back to work.

When I got there, Jeff Newberry was signing the paperwork for a new pickup truck. He was a farmer who lived on the outskirts of Lovely.

“Heard you’re seeing the oldest Lockhart boy,” he said as he sat down in my office to sign the paperwork for his vehicle.

“Did you?” I kept my face angled toward the papers I was signing, unwilling to confirm or deny his statement.

“He’s a lucky guy. Can’t believe you haven’t been snatched up already.”

I smiled at him. Jeff’s two daughters had gone to high school the same time I did, and he’d always been nice to me.

“Thank you,” I said, realizing it was the first time anyone had said something nice about me seeing Kyle.

“Damn fine doctor, that boy. Julie had to get a biopsy last year, and he really put our minds at rest over it. Got us in immediately and expedited the results. You don’t get that kind of service in a big city.”

“That’s for sure.”

I passed him a small stack of papers to sign. “It’s quick and easy when you’re paying cash. Just sign these, and we’ll get you on your way.”

He finished signing, and I made copies for him, putting them in an envelope and walking him out to the salesman who’d sold him the car.

I was able to duck out then, and I drove to the ball fields. Jordan had told me his game was on diamond three, and I saw the blue T-shirts his team wore in the outfield when I pulled in.

My heart raced nervously. This was the kind of thing I deliberately avoided. But it wasn’t about me, I reminded myself. This was for Jordan.

I spotted the Lockhart clan in a large group of lawn chairs near first base. That meant I was able to sneak onto the bleachers without walking past them.

This wasn’t so bad at all. I had a great view of the game, and when it was over, I’d be able to leave without encountering any of the Lockharts. From the glance I’d gotten at their group, they were all here.

My heart had resumed its normal pace when Jordan came up to bat in the bottom of the third inning. He gave me a quick wave on his way to the plate, and I waved back. I felt heads turning in my direction.

Ugh. I wanted to crawl under the bleachers. But I stayed focused on Jordan, clapping when he hit a single.

His team didn’t score, and when they were running onto the field for the start of the fourth inning, Eric slid onto the bleachers next to me.

“You want some popcorn?” he asked, holding a white paper bag out toward me.

“No, thanks.”

“They’re gettin’ creamed,” he said, shoving a few pieces of popcorn into his mouth.

A score of 4-2 was hardly that bad, but I just smiled at his assessment.

“Do you play ball, too?” I asked him.

“No, I’m on the swim team.”

“Maybe I can watch you swim sometime.”

“Yeah, you can come. I’m fast.”

“I know. You’re like a little fish I can never catch.”

He looked over at the gathering of lawn chairs. “Do you want to sit with my dad? He’s over there.”

“Um . . . no, I think I’ll sit right here.”

“Okay. I’ll sit with you.”

Eric’s company was nice. It helped distract me from my constant awareness of the Lockharts. Jordan’s team came back to take a 6-4 lead, with him scoring one of the runs. I wanted to chicken out in the ninth inning and leave before the game was over, but I made myself stay.

As soon as it was over, though, I got up from the bleachers and looked down at Eric.

“See you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Tell Jordan I said good game.”

“I will.”

He slid down from the bleachers, and as much as I didn’t want to look at the Lockharts, I wanted to make sure he got back over to Kyle. When I saw Kyle, he looked like he was having a disagreement with Grace. His jaw was set in a tense line as she talked while he folded up a chair.

I just hoped it wasn’t about me.

Putting my head down, I hustled to my Jeep, barely able to keep from breaking into a run. Seeing Grace Lockhart never failed to bring back the shame I still carried over leaving Reed standing there waiting for a bride who would never show up, nearly nine years ago.

I started my Jeep and was about to put it in drive when Kyle came running up to my driver’s side door.

“Hey,” he said, his brow furrowed with confusion. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“It was a last-minute thing. Jordan asked me to come by after I finished at work.”

“I’m sorry if you were uncomfortable.”

I shrugged. “No, it was fine.”

“It’s not fine.”

“It is what it is, Kyle.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m well aware what your mom thinks of me.”

The tight set of his lips told me I was right—their argument had been about me.

“I don’t care what she thinks.”

I smiled sadly. “I wish I didn’t.”

“I had my niece Alana sleeping in my lap when Eric told me you were here. Otherwise, I would have sat with you, too.”

“Don’t worry about it.” People were starting to walk toward their cars, and I looked nervously at the exit. “Look, I need to go.”

He nodded. “I’m sorry, okay? I hate that you were uncomfortable.”

“It’s no big deal. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He stepped back from my Jeep, and I pulled out of the parking lot, relieved to have avoided seeing Grace face-to-face.

I’d figured that with the way rumors about me and were Kyle swirling, she’d heard something was going on. But now I knew for sure. And I didn’t like the anxious feeling it gave me. I had a feeling a confrontation would happen. It was only a matter of when.