Drawn to a Cowboy (Brother Duet #1) (21 page)

“Only because he found out who I was… that I am the clause. He had to say that the ranch would be waiting for me. And he didn’t say I love you, Jade. Stay.”

“And what if he did?”

“Well, he didn’t. And I don’t know that I’d believe him. Did he say it because he really wants me or to ensure… does he really trust me? Would he worry that if we didn’t work out that he’d have to leave his home? I couldn’t live my life with him on pins and needles, worried about him not trusting me.”

“You couldn’t take it from him. He knows that.”

“But he’s a good man, he would give it up for Hank… Carson. He loved him like family. He would never want to do anything that he thought Hank wouldn’t approve.”

“Hank loved him the same. I remember the first summer he came to work. He was a scrawny fifteen year old…” Hard to believe. I couldn’t imagine Sage as anything but the hunky specimen he was. He was solid muscle and so beautiful. “He only brought clothes to work; jeans, plaid long sleeve shirts, a thick, felt cowboy hat and boots.” She smiled and I could tell she was visualizing him, maybe her Hank, as well. “Anyway, by his third day of wearing totally inappropriate clothes during his down time, Hank took him into town and got him shorts, t-shirts, swim trunks, a properly vented, straw cowboy hat, and a special belt with a big silver buckle that he saw Sage admiring, and even a pair of flip flops. That boy was so darn cute.”

I bet he was cute, scrawny or not. And if I had known Carson was my father, I would’ve met him when we were teens, or younger since he first came to the ranch at twelve years old. Maybe he would’ve been my first kiss. Why didn’t I ask to see photos of him? There must be pictures of him taken on the ranch. Pictures of Ginnylee and Hank together, too? They still seemed like two people I’d never met, even if they were technically my parents.

“That boy insisted that Hank let him work off the things he had purchased for him. Hank, of course, told him a smaller amount than it actually was, and kept a tally of all the extra work that Sage did for him. When he thought that Sage would believe him, he showed him on paper that he had totaled the sum. Then unbeknownst to him, he sent Sage home at the end of the summer with everything he had earned, never deducting the amount for the items. The next summers he returned better prepared. He grew up a little more every year. He filled out, got facial hair—turned into a very handsome man. He always remained nice and respectful. He’s taken on a lot with the ranch.”

“He loves it. He’s proud of what he has done with it and he should be. I don’t know what it was like before, but he told me that he is constantly trying to keep up with guest requests and the changing trends with other resorts in the area.”

“He has taken it beyond what Hank had in place when he bought it. You’re right, he has to be very proud. Hank would be amazed and not, he knew what a fine young man he was… is… You need to go back to him. You two remind me of Ginnylee and Hank.” Funny to hear Jinxie talk about herself in third person, or about them as if they were fictional characters.

“We’ll see,” I said, and wondered if they were other people to her too, a make-believe couple that was only real to Sage and others who were part of the ranch.

Would I be able to go back to him?

Would he want me back?

Did he really love me?

Switching off driving, Jinxie and I split the distance behind the wheel all the way to Los Angeles. Big changes appeared along the way: Mountains with high grass and wildflowers turned to flat land, rocks and desert. Crossing the Colorado River signaled the California border, and that we were a long way from home.
Home.
Again, I felt like I was running away from home, more so heading in a westward direction. Would there ever be a place that I truly felt at home?

Straight into downtown LA we drove, through horrible traffic to check into a hotel for one night near the office of the entertainment attorney that handled Carson’s estate since taking over his own father’s practice. The next morning, Jinxie and I went to the law office of William Nicholas Granger III, before going to the designated laboratory for my testing. Seated in Nick Granger’s private office, he informed me that he could simply let Mr. Donovan know about the findings of the blood and DNA test while still protecting my privacy. I told him that I wanted everything out in the open. I wanted to make sure that Sage had all of my information. I signed documents releasing the full medical results to all parties concerned. I had nothing to hide. My main concern was that the ranch remained within Sage’s tight grip.

Done, we were back on the road, heading south—beach bound. Entering through the iron compound gates two hours later, Tex and Bonnie greeted us with a menagerie of furry faces around their feet. Walking into their arms and having the mutts jumping on me was comforting. Maybe the beach would feel like home again. Inside our own bungalow, we dropped our stuff in our rooms. Part of my stuff; clothes and toiletries only, my art supplies were left behind.

Before I left, I told Norma to use them for arts and crafts when kids visited. Most of my professional supplies had been used to complete my painting job. As I told Sage, I had completed enough for all of the cabins, tents, along with some for throughout the lodge. There were even more unframed in sketch pads in my stable space. I couldn’t bring any of those with me, too painful.

After splashing some water on my face, I headed out, across the gravel path to the main house. Bonnie was cooking something that smelled heavenly.
Man oh man, could that woman cook!
Tex was sitting at the island talking to her. I looked around for Jinxie and saw her standing outside on the balcony watching the ocean. Was she planning her speech, I wondered just as she decided to join us.

Seeing margarita glasses and a full pitcher ready to go, with extra shot glasses, I wondered, did Tex and Bonnie know that they were about to receive some
interesting
news? Or was it all just set out to celebrate both of us being in residence during the summer? Standing together, Bonnie poured each of us a full shot of Silver Patron and added lime wedges to the rim of all of them. Squeezing the lime into my mouth, I winced as my eyes shut, then I tipped the liquor down my throat. Burning it went down and within seconds I ran to the bathroom for it to come right back up.
Damn!
It was worse coming back up. No more for me, it appeared that I was going to be listening stone-cold sober to Jinxie’s revelations.

It turned out a lot better than Jinxie or I envisioned. Tex and Bonnie hadn’t missed a thing, they always suspected that there was a romance going on. They had noticed all the bantering and flirting between the two of them. However, their suspicions were confirmed when Hank got sick. Jinxie’s eyes went wide and filled with tears as Tex spilled the beans. She thought she was going to be the one to confess but instead she sat listening, sad and stunned.

“I’d never been so damn mad at that stubborn, ol’ son of bitch, as I was when he told me what he was doing to you.”
Oh shit! Here it comes!
“He had no right to push you away. He loved you and you loved him. Like it or not, you let your loved ones have closure. He should’ve let you be by his side. Asshole! I couldn’t talk him into it. I’m sorry, Virginia Lee.”
I’d never heard him call her that ever. It was all surreal.
“I should’ve taken you to him. Jade too.” I didn’t see that coming, neither did Jinxie, I realized, as she sobbed in Tex’s arms. I suddenly felt like I didn’t belong in the room. She needed to talk to her parents. She needed to tell her whole story. A tale she should have told over thirty years ago.

I slipped out of the room with a snack and went to our house on the property. I sat on the deck for a while listening to the waves breaking on the shore. I enjoyed the smell of the salty air. Maybe I would be okay I thought as I hugged myself. Feeling tired, I took a shower then pulled on some panties and a tank top, then made a detour from my room and got in between the sheets of Jinxie’s bed.

Sometime after midnight, she curled up next to me. “How did Carson get away with being anonymous on the ranch?” I asked quietly.

“He was spotted from time to time but he brushed it off. People would say, ‘Hey you’re Carson Crosby,’ and he’d say the same thing every time, ‘Yep, I hear that a lot, but put a ten gallon hat on any man and instant cowboy—we all look alike.’ Then he’d laugh like hell. It worked too as he added, ‘I’m just Hank Griffin, ranch owner.’ Even though he denied it, he often took pictures with them. He was a real character, that man. Grandpa and Carson were so different. Grandpa never minded people knowing who he was, Hank wanted to be left alone.”

She was right Tex had created a successful surf business using his cowboy persona, displaying his memorabilia for all to see around the shop. He took pictures with people, signed autographs. Carson did do the same when he was around Tex, but it stopped once he drove under the Bleu Moon Ranch sign, apparently.

“Sorry I didn’t teach you about love, Jade.” I turned and looked at her face in the moonlight, she looked so sad and beautiful at the same time. “I hope you haven’t stayed away from relationships because of me. I’ve loved the same man all my life and he was mine for a little more than twenty-eight years. I made the biggest mistake of my life not letting him in completely. When it’s gone you are filled with nothing but regret. Don’t do what I did, let Sage love you.”

“He hasn’t professed his love to me, remember. He said I was something, I was amazing. That he ached for me, but never the four letter word. When we left he said you know where to find me when you’re ready.”

“He loves you, you love him. You know it, he knows it.” She hugged me closer to her and kissed my forehead.

“I don’t want to play around, dropping hints of love. I don’t want to run to him either. I want what Bonnie has. Tex pursued her, he never let up, he took her off to get married, he didn’t even ask—he just made things happen.”

“Grandpa is one in a million, that’s for sure. A truly larger than life man. You don’t find many men like him.” I sensed she held Carson in that same category.

“Were you afraid talking to them? I’m sorry I left you, but it looked like I needed to leave.” Tucked under Jinxie’s chin, my head on her shoulder, she pet me, and it felt like old times. Safe, up next to my mama like when she told me bedtime tales.

“A little bit at first, but once I started I couldn’t stop. It was a long time coming, years too late. Learn from my mistakes, let him in. He has a right to be part of your life.” As her words of encouragement continued, I fell into a deep slumber.

As sunlight streamed through glass doors that faced the sea, I awoke to an empty bed. Stretching out, I suddenly felt terrible and ran for the bathroom. My stomach was going crazy. Needing some bland food to settle the acidity that was giving me heartburn, I went to see if Bonnie had blueberry pancake mix. Better yet, she had baked blueberry muffins with streusel topping and they were coming out of the oven as I entered the kitchen. “I love you, Bonnie,” I said, getting creamy butter and apricot preserves out of the refrigerator.

Seated on a bar stool, I peeled back the muffin paper and split it in two.
Yummy!
I took a big whiff. Then after slathering it with my two favorite toppings I practically shoved it in my mouth.
So good!
Two went down very easily. “I see history repeats itself.” She was staring at me strangely.

“What do you mean?” I looked around. “Where is Tex and Jinxie?”

“They took off up the coast to ride the high surf. Your grandpa got a call from a couple of his new instructors at the crack of dawn. He went to get your mother. She’s as crazy as he is about the waves. Don’t avoid me!”

“I’m not avoiding you, I’m sitting right here.”

“I knew when your mother returned that we were going to have an extra mouth to feed around here. I saw you get sick last night and you look a bit fuller around the middle.” She moved her arms around her own body indicating the area she was referring to. I just looked at her dumbfounded, she thought I was pregnant!?

Was she right? “I got sick… this morning too.”
Oh my!

“You need to take a test.”

“You might be right about…” I started counting back when I last had a full cycle. Before I went to the ranch was the last time I remembered a heavy flow. The last couple had been light to barely anything. “Well, I may have been more thorough than Jinxie, I could have two. He’s a twin. His father was a twin too. And his father before him.”

“Holy moly!”

“You can say that again.”

“Let’s go, put on some shoes, we’ll hit the drugstore.”

Five different pregnancy tests later, the positive signs appeared immediately on all of them, quicker than the allotted time stated on the boxes.
Shit!

Did that mean twins?

Did it mean that I was further along?

Did I get pregnant on our first time? The Columbine tent?

It really didn’t matter when it happened, it happened. Sage was going to be a father… I was going to be a mother.
Oh my God!
History was repeating itself, except that we were not hiding it. By the time Jinxie and Tex walked in the door, all of the test applicators were on display like a museum exhibit, along with a sonogram picture.

Bonnie was not satisfied with just a store bought test and took me down to her doctor who fit us in right away, at her request. Providing your doctor’s whole family with surfing lessons seemed to give you a bit of weight when you needed an appointment stat. But to be honest, I’d never witnessed anybody saying no to Bonnie when she wanted something. Armed with prenatal vitamins, along with every pamphlet off the obstetrician’s wall, our next stop was the grocery store. She stocked our cart with all healthy foods and a few crazy cravings I had been having lately. What was wrong with me? How did it take Bonnie only one look at me to figure it out?

Well, she hadn’t figured out everything, like the two heart beats. They showed up on the screen and they made a funny sound over the speakers. I was continuing the Donovan family tradition, twins. Due to arrive in six months, it appeared that they were lightning storm babies after all. The only thing we didn’t know for certain at that moment; were they cowboys or cowgirls or one of each? I wasn’t familiar with how the twin thing worked, but I was going to find out. And soon enough so was Sage—only, how and where was I going to tell him?