Dreamfever (27 page)

“Oh, shove it,” Deloise said. “Unless some part of this story involves you taking a blow to the head and forgetting I exist for the past month, I don't want to hear it.” She crossed her arms. “Next topic, please.”

“We aren't done with this one,” Will said grimly. “Bayla is a spy for Peregrine.”

“What?” Josh cried, and she wasn't the only one.

“That's ridiculous,” Whim said, though the defensiveness in his voice had been replaced with surprise.

“Think about it,” Will said. “How did the junta know that a dream-walking trial would be harder for Mirren than a Tempering? Someone told them she'd already passed an informal Tempering, but didn't have much dream-walking experience. Is it coincidence that the junta picked
three
water nightmares for her to resolve, or did someone clue them in that she just learned to swim? Who told the protesters we were going in through the side entrance? Whim called them, or else he called Bayla, who called Peregrine.”

“Whim,” Deloise said, “how could you?”

“I didn't!” Whim told her. “Will's making all of this up!”

Josh wanted to believe that Will was making it up, that he was seeing things that weren't there, but …
If Whim's been cheating on Deloise,
she thought,
who knows what else he might have been up to?

“Why?” Mirren asked Whim, her voice trembling. “Why would you do that? What have I done to you?”

“Nothing, you're awesome,” Whim told her. “I'd never screw you over like that.”

“Not on purpose,” Will said, his tone sour. “That much is true. Our Whim doesn't have a malicious bone in his body. But he does have lots and lots of vain bones; I'm sure he told Bayla those things to impress her. He didn't know she was a spy.”

“She's not a spy,” Whim said, but he sounded less sure than he had before. “That's crazy talk. Why would she be a spy for Peregrine?”

Because Peregrine has always suspected I'm the True Dream Walker,
Josh realized.
That's why he tricked me into entering Feodor's universe, so Feodor could test me. And that's why he sent Bayla to spy on Whim—because he thought Whim knew about me.

“Maybe I'm wrong,” Will conceded, and he shrugged. “I've only met Bayla twice. And I'll be the first to admit that I came up with this theory while on Veil dust. So I'll put it to those of you who've known Bayla for years. Do you think she's capable of something like this?”

There was a long silence, and then Josh said, “Shit.”

“I second that,” Haley said.

“You told me you hadn't heard from her in years!” Deloise raved at Whim. “She's a—a bad person! I remember what she was like!”

“Del, you were twelve years old the last time you hung out with her,” Whim protested.

“That's right, and she laughed at me when I wouldn't smoke with her.”

“That doesn't make her a spy for Peregrine!” Whim argued. “That just means she's a terrible babysitter!”

“She wasn't
baby
sitting me!”

“Stop!” Josh ordered. She sighed. “Whim, get out of here.”

“What?” Whim said, nonplussed. “What does that mean?”

“It means we need to talk about some sensitive things and we can't risk you relating them to Bayla.”

Whim threw his hands up in the air. “Okay, so I bragged a little to Bayla. I didn't know she was working for Peregrine!”

“Nobody's accusing you of being a traitor,” Josh said, to which Will added, “Just a patsy.”

Whim glared at him. “You have been a lousy friend to me today.”

“So? I've been a lousier friend to Del,” Will snapped.

As Whim reluctantly made his way toward the hall, Deloise added, “Oh, and in case you weren't sure, we are officially broken up.”

He gave her one look—angry and desperate and frightened all at once—and then left. He didn't quite slam the apartment door, but he shut it hard.

Josh ran a hand through her hair and tried to think of what to say next. She wasn't ready to admit her own misdoings yet, so she said to Will, “Can I ask you about the Veil dust?”

He shrugged again. “Yeah.”

“It was your idea?”

“Yeah,” he said flatly.

“Was last night the first time you'd done it?”

“Yeah. And last.”

“And the vodka? Did Bayla bring that, too?”

“No.” He frowned and rubbed the back of his neck. “This is going to sound crazy, but … what I remember is Ian giving it to me.”

Josh and Haley looked at each other, and Josh knew they were both recalling what he had said about the vodka being Ian's brand.

“I thought he pulled it out of a heat vent in Whim's room,” Will added. He dared a glance at Josh. “How much did I drink?”

“A little more than two shots,” Josh told him. She'd actually measured out how much was missing from the bottle before deciding whether or not to take him with her to the ER.

“That's something, I guess,” he said.

Josh tugged on strands of carpet. “Why did you do it?” she asked.

Will released a deep breath, but it wasn't so much a sigh as the beginning of anxious breathing. “Ironically, I thought the Veil dust would keep me from drinking.”

Will,
Josh thought, taken aback. Had he been struggling not to drink? When had that started?

Then she remembered how upset he'd gotten at Young Ben's barbecue and realized that Will had tried to tell her how much he was struggling. She'd been too caught up in her own secrets to hear him.

“Why did you want to drink?” Deloise asked, her voice gentle and sympathetic.

Will's lower lip trembled for half a second; Josh had never seen it do so before.

“Because,” he said, “Mirren and I saw one of Josh's nightmares through the archway downstairs. She was dreaming she was killing people and … kissing Feodor.”

Josh didn't mean to move—her body just did. Like a violent, squirming attempt to escape Will's words, she jerked back against the TV stand, uncrossed her legs and pulled them to her chest, and grabbed her forehead with both hands as if she would have torn it off.

“It was a nightmare,” she heard Mirren say firmly. “It wasn't a daydream about something she wanted.”

Josh had thought she was going to come clean about everything that morning, but now she knew that she never would have admitted to the strange romantic component of her nightmares. She ground the heels of her hands into her eyes.

No wonder Will had been avoiding her.

“Why didn't you tell me you knew?” she asked.

“Why didn't
you
tell
me
?” His voice quivered.

Josh hid her face against her knees again briefly before forcing herself to push forward. “I don't know why the nightmares are like that, and I was afraid you'd think they mean … you know.”

“That you're in love with the man who tried to kill us both?”

“But I'm
not
. I'm sure I'm not!”

“She wakes up every night crying from those dreams,” Deloise said. “Whatever she and Feodor are doing in them, I don't think she's enjoying it.”

“Every night?” Mirren asked. “Why haven't you seen a doctor?”

“Because it isn't a medical problem!” Josh burst out. “It's not a psychiatric problem! It's—” She stopped on the precipice of admitting how deeply her encounter with Feodor had changed her. She had known she might never go back to the way she was before, but only then did she realize how afraid she was of letting other people know.

“When he sent all his bad memories into my mind,” she admitted, “somehow the bad memories weren't the only ones that I got. I got his happy memories, too, and his ideas, and his education.…”

“You remember his whole life?” Deloise asked.

“No, not nearly all of it. But I think that all of it might be in my mind somewhere.”

“You said you have his ideas,” Will said. “Which ideas?”

This is the last moment he's going to love me,
Josh thought, and whatever words she might have said dried up in her throat.

“Yeah,” was all that came out.

Haley put his arm around her shoulders.

“Yeah?” Will asked.

She ducked her head beneath Haley's arm and pinched her eyes shut.

“Yes, she remembers his inventions,” Haley said. “Yes, she remembers how to build them.”

“
Did
you build them?” Will asked.

Josh, eyes still closed, nodded.

Will cursed, and she heard the floor squeak as he got up from the couch. “Josh!” Deloise cried with a gasp.

“What were you thinking?” Will asked.

Josh wanted to hide beneath Haley's arm and behind her closed eyelids forever. Her shame burned like a snakebite.

“Why, Josh?
Why?
” Will shouted.

Haley nudged Josh to face her friends. “S'okay,” he told her. “Tell them.”

When Josh forced her eyes open, black lines flickered across the room. She blinked a few times, and when her vision cleared all she could see was Will, standing behind the couch and clenching the back edge as if he would hurl the sectional across the room.

“Mostly I just wrote down the things I learned in the nightmares,” she admitted. “But I did build three of Feodor's inventions. Partly I did it because I thought that eventually I'd dream of something to help Winsor. And partly, I … I just got so frustrated trying to connect with the Dream. I don't know what the point of being the True Dream Walker is if I can't help anyone, and I thought Feodor's inventions could help me. I just want to do my job, I just want to make the Dream safe!”

Will released a bitter half laugh. “Dear God,” he said. “You're not in love with Feodor—you're in love with his power!”

And that, Josh realized, was true.

Will shook his head, releasing the couch back to cross his arms over his chest. “You're such a fool, Josh.”

“What else was I supposed to do?” she asked. “What would you have done?”

“I would have trusted that whatever fate had decided to make me the True Dream Walker would teach me how to use that power when it was good and ready.”

The answer was so stupid that Josh stopped feeling guilty and started feeling angry. “Bullshit!” she told Will. “You don't trust anyone to do anything—you're a complete control freak! You won't even let Kerstel cook by herself! And if you hadn't been panicking over every tiny thing, maybe I could have come to you and told you what was going on months ago!”

“You want to blame
me
for this?” Will said, a hard look coming over his face. “I'm out of here.”

“I'm not done!” Josh shouted.

“Yeah? I am!” he shouted back as he headed for the door.

“Last night,” she told him, “while you were getting high and helping Whim cheat on my sister, Bash Mirrettsio tied me up and stole two of Feodor's inventions that will allow him to control the Dream.”

More gasps from Deloise, a little cry of dismay from Mirren, but Josh looked only at Will. “If Bayla is working for Peregrine,” she said, “I guess it's reasonable to assume that her boyfriend is, too.”

Will leaned against the apartment door and slid slowly to the floor, his face empty with shock.

“Bash Mirrettsio the dream theorist?” Mirren asked.

“Yeah,” Josh said.

“What do you mean by the inventions can control the Dream?”

Josh swallowed. “When you go into the Dream wearing the devices, you think a thought and it happens.”

“This isn't…” Will murmured. “This can't be…”

“And now Peregrine has it?” Deloise asked.

“Possibly. Probably.” Josh wanted to hide in Haley's arm again, but he'd gone to sit in the recliner beside Mirren. “I'm sorry, everyone. Will, I'm sorry. I— You were right. I wanted the power that I'm supposed to have.”

“How do you even know you're supposed to have it?” Deloise asked. “Maybe Will is right and that part of being the True Dream Walker will come when it's supposed to.”

“Maybe he is right,” Josh admitted.

“Who's got your blood?” Will whispered.

Josh didn't know if she had heard him wrong or if he was cracking up, but the words made her shiver.

“I'm sorry,” Mirren said. “I don't wish to disrupt the conversation, but Josh has mentioned several times that she believes she's the True Dream Walker. Does anyone have evidence of this?”

Josh had been so busy fighting, and had grown so accustomed to Mirren's presence, that she had entirely forgotten to watch what she said. They all had.

“She's definitely the True Dream Walker,” Deloise said. “But we don't tell people that usually.” She managed a weak smile. “We like you.”

“Haley?” Mirren asked. Her eyes swam with tears, which Josh didn't understand.

“It's true,” he said, and his smile was much bigger.

Mirren began to cry. She also began to laugh, and one or the other action led her to develop the hiccups. “I'm so—
hiccup
—relieved!”

Deloise smiled again, but she looked as confused as Josh felt.

“Were you afraid it was you?” Josh asked.

“No. But according to my scroll, there's now a—
hiccup
—much greater chance I'll live through all this.”

Before Josh could ask what that meant, Will said sharply, “Why are you all celebrating? Don't you see what's going on here?”

He'd gotten up from the floor, but his body was visibly shaking. Josh had never seen his cornflower-blue eyes so large. “What's going on here?” Deloise repeated.

“Peregrine has the devices to control the Dream,” Will said. “He's always been obsessed with staging, right? Now instead of going into the Dream and having to bring props and costumes and whatever else, he can just put on these devices and instantly create whatever nightmare he wants.”