Dreaming of Atmosphere (14 page)

17.

We were in the brane between star systems for just over three days. It was a good time, on board. Spirits were high, despite the fact that we’d just been hammered by a Corporate drone attack and then threatened by some seriously bad people. Not to mention we still hadn’t found all the bombs or worked out how to remove the one’s we had found. Besides all that, we were generally in a good mood.

Artemis was practically bed ridden, so maybe that had something to do with it. Zoe spent more time in my cabin than in her own, to let Artemis rest, of course, and despite not getting much sleep I was also in good spirits. Now that I’d put all sense of inappropriateness behind me regarding Zoe and me, I found that I could talk to her more freely than before. Being in a new relationship must make it a lot easier to talk about emotions, as new, raw and powerful ones are at the forefront of your mind. Digging a little deeper to find the troubling ones is easier then.

I learned, through talking with Zoe, that the root of my PTSD wasn’t the horrific injuries I’d sustained, but something called survivor’s guilt. My whole squad had been killed, many right before my eyes, and I was helpless to stop it. No matter how hard I tried, I wasn’t good enough and they were killed regardless. Many were not good deaths. The sense of abandonment I felt when our evacuation ship had left without us was another strong cause of my trauma. Zoe explained that in times of extreme stress we compartmentalise our thought processes, shut down higher functions and devote our time and thoughts to more base needs and desires. I’d been stranded deep in enemy territory for a time, and only survived through my wits alone. I’d been like an animal, near the end, I killed without thought, butchering the enemy with whatever weapons I could find. I’d stowed away aboard a Ghantri ship that was probing the blockade, and managed to launch myself out of an escape pod. The Ghantri had opened fire, and they nearly killed me. A Protectorate picket ship picked me up, hoping to capture a Ghantri prisoner of war.

I told her of my recovery, of how I’d been awarded a medal by the Star Marines. It didn’t feel like I’d deserved it, as all my friends were dead and I made it out. She told me that I could think of the medal as being theirs, instead of mine. That way, whenever I see it I don’t think of how I failed them, I could celebrate their life and their courage instead. For the first time since I’d been awarded the medal, I could hold it and see it for what it was. It wasn’t my medal, it was my squads.

Now that I felt I had something with which to remember my fallen comrades, I had a focus for my pain. It burned, a smouldering fire deep within me. It stoked the embers of my broken soul, and then I found that I
wanted
to return to Gossamer. Not as a broken, traumatised or tortured soldier, but as a force of
vengeance.

I think it was some time in the early hours of ship time morning, when I decided that if I had the chance I
would
get the nano-proliferation proto-chip. Zoe lay beside me, quietly snoring, and I was awake as I often am at this hour. My nightmares weren’t troubling me, they hadn’t for a few days now since I’d changed the way I thought about my squad’s medal, and I had a clarity of purpose. I sent a quick message to Max, she was usually awake at this hour as well.

I’m in. I’ll get NP.

Good boy.
She didn’t elaborate.

That morning I got up and grabbed something to eat, then checked to see if Crege was up for some exercise. As usual, he was. We spared for an hour, and was surprised to find Artemis had managed to haul her sorry arse out of bed and came down to watch. She seemed tolerable, perhaps having access to the ship’s plethora of entertainment vids, literature and music was enough to keep her from being bored after all.

When I got back to my cabin Zoe was gone, but there was a grey plastic carry case resting on my bunk. On it was a note that read in Max’s chicken scratch hand writing:

This just fell into my lap xx

Curious, I popped the latch and opened it. Inside was a foam encased auto-injector and a data chip. I thumbed the chip and activated its wireless link to my overlay. Its data started to stream into my vision. It was an operator’s guide to injecting a nano-proliferation proto-chip.

Where did you get this?
I texted Max.

I’ve had it for a while, Doctor Shale gave it to me during our last appointment with him.

But this must have cost a fortune.

Not really, the most expensive part of NP is getting the secondary Augs, which you already have. Besides, I used your mustering out bonus to buy it.

That was meant to go towards the ship!

And it did. You’re an integral part of the Dreaming of Atmosphere, Donny. Don’t forget that.

I sat for a moment and just stared at the auto-injector. Then I said what the hell, grabbed the syringe and stabbed it into the base of my skull under my left ear. I won’t lie, the pain almost made me pass out. There was a warm, almost burning sensation around the wound. I started to form a splitting headache and stood to get a painkiller but suddenly the room began to spin. I tried to sit back down but missed the bed and bounced to the deck. I lay on my side, unable to move. I could see tiny black dots starting to swim through my vision and my overlay started to turn into garbled text. I tried to scream as the pain became intense, but my lungs wouldn’t work. A searing, white light exploded in my vision, then I faded out to comforting darkness.

Apparently, Zoe found me like that when I was late for my watch keeping stint with her. She called Max and Crege and they hauled my comatose form down to md lab. Zoe saw the injector on the deck next to me and asked Max what had happened. She was furious, I was told later, at me for doing this on my own. I can’t blame her, I probably should have gotten the ship’s
doctor
to do it for me.

I had the most vivid dream while I was out. I was floating in a dark sea at night, lit from under the water by faintly glowing plankton. The water was warm, and calm. I tasted the water and it tasted like tears. Then I realised
I
was the plankton. No, I was a broad cloud of microscopic robots, alive with energy and purpose. I was afloat not in the sea, but in an ocean of information. The warmth was the warm blood of life. I felt all the connections between all the nanites, and experienced a feeling of being in many places at once. It was both terrifying and liberating.

Then I was me again, floating in a sea of nanites. I could still sense them all, and with a whoop of joy I formed a whale of the nanites and sent it soaring out of the water in a graceful arc, smashing it back into the sea and losing its form. I made creatures of all shapes and size, I rode them, I swam with them. I made a Zoe from the nanites and we swam together.

The nano-Zoe spoke to me, she said “Wake up.”

I awoke with a start. Zoe was beside me, and I lay on the med lab bunk. Several probes were attached to my head and my bare chest. I groaned and she saw that I was awake. She smiled down at me.

“Hello, there. Don’t get up, you’ll be a little weak.”

Being a man, and not having much common sense, I made to rise from the bunk. Nausea instantly crashed me back down to the pillow. I rubbed my hand over my face and found there was several days’ worth of growth on my jaw. When I could talk, I did.

“How long have I been out?”

“Four days. You’re an idiot, by the way.”

“Yeah, sorry. I should have gotten you.”

“Did you read the instructions?”

“Sort of. Not really. Just where to put the injector.”

“How do you feel?”

“Like I just lost a duel with Crege. Twice.”

“Anything unusual, besides the nausea and the headache?”

“An overwhelming desire to kiss you?”

“Well, looks like your libido is ok. That’s a start. No nerve pain? No issues with your Augs?”

I ran a quick diagnostic on my overlay. Everything checked out. I then noticed another indicator on my overlay. It was a small icon of a lightning bolt in a box.

“That’s strange.”

“What is it?”

“A new icon on my overlay.”

“That’s your charge indicator.”

“My what?”

“You really didn’t read those instructions did you?”

“No. I’m starting to see the lack of wisdom in that, by the way.”

“Access it.”

I activated the icon and another window appeared, showing a few measurement such as joules, BTUs and ionic current. They were displayed in a series of bars that were fluctuating minutely, but were all green in colour.

“That’s your charge display. When you start using NP, you’ll begin to use up your body’s power and you can check your status in that window. Don’t let them get down to red, okay? You can have epileptic seizures and black outs if you let them get too low. I’ve loaded some more training vids onto your overlay, I suggest you actually watch these and read the manuals supporting them.”

“Okay, I will. Promise.”

“Good. I’ll change your IV, but I want you to try and drink something on your own. There’s a bucket by the bed. I’ll let you get some more rest.”

“Wait, we’re in Harakiwa?”

“Just left the Argessi Station. Artemis wouldn’t let anyone but Max and Crege go ashore. I’m sure she can fill you in when you’re better. We’re headed towards the inner system, something about going around a planet. You don’t need to worry yourself, you should be fine in 30 hours. Just get plenty of rest!”

She made to leave.

“Wait!”

“You need rest!”

“Don’t I get a kiss?” She stood and crossed her arms, I could tell she was pissed at me. I pouted and her resolve crumbled. She pecked me on the lips and then left the med lab shaking her head at me, but she was smiling.

18.

The next ship day was strange. My body was undergoing changes, I could tell, but I wasn’t sure exactly what was going on. I asked Zoe about it at one point when she came in to check on me, but all she said was the proto-ship was growing. I was too young to remember when I got my overlay proto-chip, so I didn’t know what I was in for.

Maxine came down to see me a few hours after I awoke. She was all smiles and small talk, but I could see there was some stress she was working out. When I asked her about it, she just shrugged it off as the trials of command. She assured me everything was all right.

“I’m sorry if I caused you all to worry. It was kind of thoughtless of me to inject the proto-chip without supervision.”

“It’s okay, Donny, I’m just glad you decided to do it at all. How does it feel?”

“Not sure. When this headache goes away it might feel different, but at the moment I just feel ill.”

“I read that within hours of waking up you should start to notice things a little differently.”

“I remember in one of the vids you gave me it was described as having broader senses. Like you could suddenly reach out to things without using your hand and touch them.”

“I’ve given Zoe all the information that Doctor Shale gave me, she has enough data to put together a training program for you. I’ve paired her up with Fel, they’re both very excited about running you through some gruelling tests.”

“What kind of tests?”

“They’ll help measure your control and something about managing burn out. You’d have to talk to them some more about it.”

“How did your shopping run go on Argessi Station?”

“Good, we got the cryo-nanite package, and a few other bits and pieces. I also got enough gear for Fel to put together another scrambler for you. I asked around about Koveli-Xue and their interest in Argessi System, as well as their connection to Gossamer. I couldn’t get much, mostly just business interests. I couldn’t find any links between them and Jenner either, so I don’t know what kind of beef they have with him.”

“Which way are we getting through the system?”

“We’re in luck, there. Vengnashi is going to pass right through our optimal trajectory to the Eridani Jump gate. The plan is to swing through its orbit and pick up a few days’ worth of velocity over an hour or two, and then shoot off towards the Jump Gate.”

“The Cooper sling shot?”

“Ha, I didn’t come up with it, it’s an old trick. Using the gravity and the spin of heavy objects for extra speed is always a good way to shave a few days off your travel time.”

Vengnashi was a large planet in the Harakiwa System, the third world from the Harakiwa star. It was right at the far enough of the habitable zone, though, and was very cold. The planetary government was an interesting one. They were known as the Demarchy of Veng, and had no permanent ruling body. Instead, citizens were chosen at random to be poled via their overlays on various topics and decisions. All the answers are fed into a giant AI Core deep in the planet that correlates the data and comes to a decision based on the responses. It then relay commands and directions to government agents and officials. It seemed too much like a computer controlled world to me, though. From what I hear, it’s not too bad a place to live, but a little too heavy on the security at the expense of people’s freedoms. They were big on their AI though, and some of the best Artificial Intelligence designers and manufacturers were Veng.

I’d been to Vengnashi a few times before. They’re not on good terms with the neighbouring planet of Kanto Prime. Much like Kanto Prime, Vengnashi is an ecunomopolis, a city spanning the entire planet.  Geothermic heating makes the city planet habitable, and solar reflectors increase the effects that the distance star have on the world. This kind of low scale terraforming is common in worlds that teeter on the edge of habitable zones, but there are many other methods available for more extreme modifications to a planet’s temperature and other living factors.

Vengnashi, and Kanto Prime, are considered Inner System planets. These worlds are relatively comfortable to live on, and their populations combined make up over twenty billion sentient beings of various species. By far the most common species is human kind. The other two most common species are the Garz’a and the Orlii. The proliferation of these three races is so great, that the Galactic Protectorate uses their ratios to the rest of the species on a planet to gauge their demographic. The Human - Garz’a - Orlii Index is a method of cataloguing the species demographics of a planet or population centre. A HGO Index of 50% means that approximately half of a population is either Human, Garz’a or Orlii, while the remainder are classified as ‘Other’. If the remainder makes up more than 25% of the population, it is listed after the index for clarity; HGO Index 30% Argen, for example, means 30% of the population are Human, Garz’a or Orlii, while at least 25% are Argen. The system works for well enough for most of the galaxy, although where the Protectorate holds little sway it is not used. Indigenous species tend to ignore the index as well, but for travellers such as me it is a useful way to find out what kind of people live on a world or habitat.

The galaxy includes well over a thousand star systems, and although the most common origin of an inhabited planet is through colonisation by the Protectorate, about thirty percent of the inhabited worlds held indigenous sentient life. The Votus-Eridani Network is the birth place of four distinct species – the Argen from Argessi System, the Frikk from Tantis System, and the Ghantri and Jaani from Gossamer. Vengnashi had a HGO Index of 62%, while Kanto Prime had an Index of 59%.

Zoe, I knew, was from Kanto Prime. She had family on the planet, and although we were not going to get close enough to visit, she would be able to get off some messages even though no real time communications can occur. I wondered if she was going to tell her mother about me.

Our trip through the Harakiwa System was scheduled to take almost five weeks of ship time, and this was plenty of time for me to get used to my new system, hopefully. True to her word, I was good enough to leave med lab after nearly a full day of rest. I was restless for the last half and bored out of my mind, but I did get a lot of reading done about the exercises I was to perform to get used to nano-proliferation.

The first big change that I noticed was a sensation of building pressure around my augmentations. Zoe said this was normal, and that the computer systems that governed my Augs should compensate for the added equipment being built with them to incorporate the nanite factories.

My appetite increased exponentially, and I was fed dozens of protein bars and something called black meal. I’d read that this mixture was high in iron and other trace elements that were needed to accelerate nanite growth. The documentaries recommended I take up a steady diet of the cereal-like food. I didn’t mind, it was rather pleasant to eat, actually.

I didn’t have to have large amounts of nanites in my body to be able to perform the effects I was capable of, but once the nanites left my body they could create more in the blink of an eye from particles in the air. Even though some of the things I read sounded terrifying, I was committed now and that determination made me put aside my fear and work on mastering myself anew.

When I was up and about, I was immediately brought down to the cargo hold sparing area by Fel and Zoe. There was two exercise mats placed on the deck with three dark spheres sitting between them. Zoe placed a few electrodes on my forehead and began gathering readings from my vitals, or the nano controller in my head. Fel’negr sat down on one of the mats and indicated I should join him.

“Today’s lesson is designed to teach you control. Not of your powers, but of your senses. Being able to sense the world around you through your nanites is the first step in being able to manipulate matter and energy.”

“Okay.”

“I’m going to teach you a technique used in
The Way
, a way for you to meditate on a problem and consider nothing else.”

“You’ve been trying to get me to follow
The Way
for years. Looks like you finally get your way, huh?”

“Focus, Seth. I want you to clear your mind of all other things except these three balls.”

That was better said than done. I’d been kept out of the command loop on board for days, and there were projects going on that I needed to be a part of. I had a hundred worries and woes, and then there was Zoe who still filled many of my waking thoughts. I could smell her faint perfume that she still insists on wearing even though we were stuck on a space ship.

“The balls, Seth.”

“Right, sorry Zoe, your perfume is distracting me.” Had she told Fel about us yet? Surely, he knows by now, we’ve hardly been hiding our relationship. I’ve never discussed it with Fel or Crege, so I don’t know how they feel about it. Not since they had tried to dissuade me against attempting such things.

“Zoe, perhaps Seth is right, I’ll take good care of him and you can still monitor him remotely.”

“Okay, but don’t try anything dramatic just yet, all right?”

“Yes, Maxine.” I said, grinning. She threw a workman’s glove at me that she picked up off a supply crate. I ducked it and she left giving me a smirk.

“No excuses now, Seth. Clear your mind.”

I gave it a solid effort now. I stared at the three balls and tried not to think about anything else.

“Breathe deeply, and imagine that your breath is a tangible thing. Allow your breath to drift over the balls. Your breath settles upon the balls and becomes part of them.” Intoned Fel.

Suddenly, I caught my breath in a gasp. I could
feel
the balls. It almost felt like I had them in my hands. My concentration slipped, and they were just balls sitting in front of me again. I looked up at Fel who was studying my face intently.

“I could almost touch them.”

“Your nanites are gathering information for you. That data is being interpreted by your brain into something it finds familiar. You sensed them through touch?”

“Yeah, like I was holding them, or resting my hands on them.”

“Good, we’re going to try again, only thing time I want you to try and
taste
them.”

“Taste?”

“Synaesthesia is the overlapping of senses. You nanites can collect any information it needs and your implant will tell your brain how to utilise it. Same again – focus, breathe.”

I meditated on the balls again for several minutes, slowly breathing deeply as I did. It was very relaxing, and eventually I began to envision myself tasting the balls, as if they were pieces of fruit. They had a bitter rubbery taste to them, as if I had licked a squash ball. I said as much.

“Smell them.” It became easier then, each time I attempted to sense the balls it took a little less time to do. I heard the deep vibrations between their molecules, smelled their rubbery outer coating, and delved deeper into their substance, their matter. I tasted the earthy wood that was the core of one, and felt the hard cold metal that was inside another. I even saw a small measure of what it looked like inside the third when I closed my eyes. I was entirely relaxed, exploring the three balls, learning all I could about them. I was so relaxed that I started to get very sleepy.

Zoe came down again, and I wasn’t sure how long we’d been doing this for.

“That’s enough for today. His charge is in the yellow, time to recuperate.” She said.

“My charge?” I said sleepily. I remembered the icon on my overlay and accessed it. Sure enough, I was down to about 65%. “Is that why I’m so tired? I feel like I’ve been exercising for a while and I’m now resting.”

“That’s your body using up its energy to power the nanites. You’ll need to go eat something and then get some rest before we do any more. I’m monitoring your charge, so I’ll come get you when you’re in the green again and we can try some more stuff.”

“Okay, doctor.” I said groggily.

“How was it?” asked Fel.

“Mind blowing, it’s almost like I was
inside
the balls. Like I was part of the balls.”

“Fascinating.” He said, and rubbed his chin in contemplation, “You did well.”

Zoe slung her shoulder under my arm and nearly carried me to my cabin. I slept and had more strange dreams about whales swimming in dark oceans of data.