Dreaming Out Loud (21 page)

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Authors: Benita Brown

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BOOK: Dreaming Out Loud
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So far she had led the other members of the surveillance team quite a dance with all her shopping trips. All that had proved was that she had plenty of cash – probably more than she should have had if she was the young woman who had worked as a servant in the old manor house. The place had burned down, taking the life of the poor old woman who had employed her. No matter that the old girl had gone into the house to try and save her dog, Jane Mullen and her accomplice would be charged with murder.

The reason they weren’t moving in on the girl was that they wanted both of them. They had almost got them. The story was all over the papers, and the owner of the hotel where they had stayed when they first arrived in London had thought his new guests might be the couple that were on the run. He had phoned the police, but they had missed catching the man. They had a pretty good idea that he had vanished into the underworld. He almost certainly had stolen goods. A former maid of the poor old lady had come forward to say that there had been some expensive jewellery in the house. Jane’s accomplice would want to get rid of his booty, and when he did, he would contact the girl and they would meet up. That was when the police would move in and arrest both of them. So they’d decided to watch the girl. So far it had been a waiting game.

The man yawned. He had been unlucky to draw the night shift. He would have to sit here in a rapidly cooling car until his relief turned up the next morning. Whereas Tom Masters, lucky devil, would probably be tucked up warm and cosy with the unsuspecting young woman in the flat he had rented nearby. It was all in the course of duty, but the man wondered if Sergeant Masters’ conscience ever troubled him.

Chapter Nineteen

The rain stopped almost as suddenly as it had begun, and the street lamps dropped pools of shimmering light on to the wet pavements. Early fallen leaves lay damply in the gutter. The man tossed his cigarette stub out of the car window and lit another one. This had been a long case and boredom made him weary; smoking helped to keep him awake. Several cigarettes later he saw two figures hurrying along the street in his direction. The man was a good head taller than the woman and he had an arm round her waist, maybe to support her because she had a slight limp. He recognised them straight away as Tom Masters and Kay Lockwood.

They hurried up the short path to the house. Kay opened the door and the light in the hallway illuminated them as Tom took her in his arms and kissed her.
All in the name of duty
, the watcher thought, and he smiled cynically. The embrace didn’t last long. Kay went in and closed the door and Tom stayed there for a moment, watching the house, then he turned and began walking towards the car.

‘Anything to report?’ he asked as he leaned towards the open window.

‘Nothing. She’s been home all the time I’ve been here.’

‘Right. I’ll be getting along, but not before you’ve cleared this mess up.’

‘What mess?’

‘All these cigarette stubs. They’re a sure sign that someone has been waiting here.’

‘So what? I doubt if she would notice them.’

‘Maybe not, but you can’t take the risk. She’s keeping up a good pretence and I don’t think she’s anybody’s fool.’

‘Righto, Sarge. My mistake.’

He got out of the car, picked up the soggy cigarette ends and, for the want of anywhere else to put them, stuffed them in his coat pocket. Before he got back in the car he watched Tom Masters walk away. He would have liked to ask the sergeant if he’d had an enjoyable evening, but he didn’t quite have the nerve.

Truth to tell he admired the man. This investigation had dragged on and Sergeant Masters had had to juggle this job with his other assignments. Since the war ended, there had been an upsurge of criminal gangs in London, some of them led by vicious thugs who thought nothing of murdering anyone who was foolish enough to oppose them. The sergeant thought that this job might have a connection with one of the gangs, because it had become certain that the thieving pair – well, the man at least – must have powerful friends who had enabled him to go to ground.

As well as bearing the responsibility of this job, it was rumoured that Tom Masters also had personal problems. But he kept his own counsel and never let them interfere with his work. If he pulled this job off he was sure to be promoted. And if he could find some personal happiness along the way, then good luck to him.

The house was quiet. Kay stood very still in the hall, overwhelmed by the tumultuous feelings his kiss had aroused. A sixth sense told her that Tom was still standing outside. Would he ring the bell and ask to come in? Was he as reluctant to say goodnight as she was? When she heard his footsteps walking away the feeling of disappointment was overpowering.

Eventually she sighed and took her coat off. When she hung it on the hallstand she noticed the note propped up on the telephone table.

Kay,

Your sister wants you to phone her. She says it doesn’t matter if it’s late.

Jane

The lack of information was worrying. Before picking up the receiver, Kay crossed the hall and went into the kitchen. She switched on the light and saw that two cups and saucers had been left to drain on the bench. The fire was still glowing and the room was warm, which suggested that Shirley and Jane had only just gone to bed.

Kay wondered if she should go up and ask them if they could tell her anything about Julie’s call so that she would be prepared for bad news. For a moment she stood there, unsure what she should do, and then decided she might as well get it over with. She waited only long enough to kick off her shoes, then dialled the operator and asked to make a long-distance call.

While she waited it occurred to her that Tony might answer the phone, and she wasn’t sure how she would deal with that. But it was Julie who answered.

‘Kay, is that you?’

She sounded so distressed that Kay immediately thought the worst. ‘Is Mum all right?’ she asked.

‘What?’

‘Has something happened to Mum? Is that why you phoned me?’

‘No . . . no. Mum’s fine.’

‘Then what’s the matter? Julie – you’re OK, aren’t you?’

‘If you mean has anything happened to the baby, no. I’m disgustingly healthy, but thanks for asking!’

Kay heard a muffled sob.

‘Please tell me what the matter is.’

‘Oh, Kay, I’m just so miserable and I don’t know what to do.’ Julie began to cry in earnest.

‘Julie, please stop crying. It can’t be good for the baby to have you so upset like this. If you can tell me what the matter is I may be able to help you.’

Julie stopped crying abruptly. ‘No one can help me.’ She sounded like a heartbroken child.

Kay was beginning to lose her patience. ‘If I can’t help you, why did you phone me?’

There was silence for a moment and then Julie said, ‘I’m sorry. I just needed to talk to someone and I don’t want anyone else to know. It’s Tony, you see. He hasn’t come home again.’

‘Hasn’t come home? Home from where? Where does he go? And what do you mean by “again”?’

‘He goes to his wretched club in Newcastle. He stays there as late as possible – until the last train. If the club was residential I think he’d stay there all night. Then when eventually he does come home he sleeps in the spare room. He says it’s because he doesn’t want to wake me, but the truth is I’m not asleep. I’ve just been lying there waiting for him. Oh, Kay, the nights are drawing in and I hate being in this house all by myself.’

‘Why don’t you tell him that?’

‘Pride, I suppose. If I did say anything it would be like admitting that there’s something wrong. It would be out in the open. Do you know what I mean?’

‘I think I do. But Julie, love, you won’t solve anything if you don’t talk to him about it.’

‘I don’t think it can be solved. You see, I don’t think he loves me any more. In fact I don’t think he ever did love me.’

Her sister sounded like a little lost child who needed a comforting hug. Kay was acutely aware of the distance between them.

‘Julie, you must be wrong. Why would Tony marry you if he didn’t love you?’

Her sister gave a bitter laugh. ‘Because I was pregnant, remember? This is a small town and his parents are important people. They didn’t want a scandal, so he did the right thing. And what’s worse, he only went out with me in the first place to get back at you.’

Kay didn’t know what to say, because she suspected that this might be true.

Sounding very subdued, Julie said, ‘And in a way, so did I.’

‘What do you mean? How could your marrying Tony be getting back at me?’

There was a pause and then Julie said, ‘I was always jealous of you.’

‘I can’t believe that. You’re beautiful and you’re clever and you could probably have had any boy you wanted.’

‘But I wanted Tony, and the way he ignored me only made me more determined to win him from you. When you went off to London I saw my chance. And I had to hurry up about it in case you came back and you and he got together again. Tony’s pride was hurt. He didn’t understand how you could go off and leave him. I . . . well, I sort of made him feel better.’

Kay was appalled. ‘Julie . . . are you telling me that you got pregnant on purpose?’

‘Yes, I am. And I think he’s guessed as much. Oh, Kay, what am I going to do?’

‘Have you talked it over with Mum?’

‘I wouldn’t dare. I know just what she would say.’

‘What would she say?’

‘You’ve made your bed and now you’ll have to lie in it.’

‘You’re wrong, Julie. Mum would never say that to you.’

‘What makes you so sure of that?’

‘Because she loves you very much. She always has. In fact, if you want to know the truth, I was always a little jealous of the way she preferred you.’

Kay’s sister gave a sad little laugh. ‘You jealous of me? Are you serious?’

‘I am.’

‘Then what a pair we are!’

‘Julie, why don’t you come to London?’

‘You mean for a holiday?’ Julie sounded uncertain.

‘No, I don’t mean a holiday. The offer’s still on. Come and live with me.’

‘And leave Tony?’

‘Yes.’

‘You mean get a divorce?’

‘It might not come to that.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘If you come here Tony might come to his senses. He might wake up to the fact that he’s been behaving badly. He might remember that he loves you.’

‘He won’t do that.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because, like I told you, he never did love me. I set out to get him and I’m ashamed to admit that. So the way he’s treating me is no more than I deserve.’

‘Julie, don’t talk like that.’

‘Why not? It’s true.’

‘Then if you’re so unhappy, you should make a clean break. I’d love to have you and your baby here.’

There was a brief silence then Julie said, ‘That’s impossible, Kay. Mum would never forgive me.’

‘She’d miss you, yes, but she could come and stay whenever she wanted.’

‘I’m not talking about her missing me. This is a small town. You can imagine the gossip. If I left my husband I would become notorious, tarnished somehow. It would be a scandal. Mum would never live it down. I can’t do that to her.’

Kay sighed. ‘Of course you can’t. I didn’t think of the consequences. So what are we going to do?’

‘Perhaps I could come for a visit.’

‘Whenever you like.’

‘And if I could phone you now and then . . .’

‘Of course you can. Not that I’ve been much help.’

‘Just being able to talk about it helps a little,’ Julie said. ‘And, Kay, I’m so sorry.’

‘What are you sorry for?’

‘For going after Tony the way I did. If I’d kept out of the way you and Tony might have got together again.’

‘No, Julie. That’s one thing you needn’t feel guilty about. Even if I hadn’t come to London, Tony and I would have parted sooner or later. That relationship was going nowhere.’

The sisters said goodnight and Julie, tired and weary after the emotional phone call, went to bed. Even though her problem had not been solved, she felt comforted just being able to talk to Kay. She realised now how much she missed her sister, and on looking back over their lives, she saw quite clearly how their mother had neglected Kay. Kay had been sent to work in a shop so that she could go to college. Until recently it had never crossed her mind that Kay might have dreams of a better kind of future; dreams she had never spoken about. No matter what their mother said, Kay had been quite right to go to London and make a better life for herself.

Mum should be proud of her
, Julie thought.
I know I am.

And then, even though Tony had still not come home, instead of lying miserably awake, she fell into an exhausted sleep.

Kay was wide awake. Her admission to Julie that her relationship with Tony had been going nowhere had made her think about her relationship with Tom. She couldn’t remember the moment she had fallen in love with him. Perhaps it was the very first time she saw him, when he had tied the Christmas tree to the small boy’s buggy with the belt from his coat. There was such a thing as love at first sight, wasn’t there?

Tom was kind and considerate, and when he took her in his arms and kissed her he left her weak with desire. He behaved as though he loved her, but he had never told her that he did. Neither had they made love. When she stayed at his spartan little flat he slept on the sofa.

Kay suddenly felt utterly depressed. She had wasted years of her life in a futile relationship with one man, only to have fallen in love with another who seemed unwilling to commit himself. Perhaps she should stop seeing Tom, she thought. Perhaps she should walk away while she still had some pride left.

Tony knew very well that Julie lay awake while she waited for him to come home. He crept upstairs without putting any lights on and held his breath as he made his way to the spare bedroom, not knowing that tonight his caution was unnecessary. He felt guilty. He knew he wasn’t being fair to his young wife and was causing her much pain.

She was so lovely. Many a man would not be able to understand why he could not be happy with her. Even now, when her body was changing with her pregnancy, her skin was soft and flawless and her hair lustrous. But her appealing young face had lost its air of joyful confidence and was marred by hurt and anxiety. And this was his fault.

He knew what she must be thinking. She must believe that he had fallen out of love with her, when the truth was he had never really loved her. Not in the romantic way that she craved – and deserved. On his part the attraction had been entirely physical.

He had been puzzled and upset when Kay had abandoned him without warning: upset because their relationship had seemed so comfortably secure, and puzzled because he could not understand why Kay had found it so easy to end it. He had needed reassurance, and Julie’s obvious adulation had soothed his hurt pride.

Ought he to have proposed to Kay years ago? He was still not sure why he hadn’t. She was attractive and intelligent but perhaps not sufficiently compliant. In her own quiet way, Kay had never been afraid to disagree with him or express her opinions. At the time, that had seemed reason enough to hold back. Now he wasn’t so sure.

He had to admit that one of the reasons he had been drawn to Julie was that she would make a much more amenable wife. She would not question his opinions. Although she was probably as intelligent as her sister, she was less interesting. But now she was expecting his child, and if he allowed their marriage to fall apart he would probably never live down the scandal. It might be the twentieth century, but divorce was still frowned upon.

His previously good reputation would be forgotten; he would no longer be regarded as the perfect gentleman. And he didn’t think his status as a war hero would help him. The world had moved on, and the heroic actions of better men than he had been consigned to history. If Julie became unhappy enough to leave him he would be known as an irresponsible, ungentlemanly cad who had ill-treated his young, innocent wife.

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