Drew (The Cowboys) (24 page)

“I don’t think I’ll need that kind of help.”

Drew realized she’d seldom thought of the moon except as a means of seeing cows at night, certainly never as a reason to take a walk along a river with a man. She’d never been asked. She supposed men had kept their distance because she’d always made it plain she had no time for romance. She’d said all the same things to Cole, but he’d asked her anyway. There had to be a difference, but she couldn’t decide which was more surprising, his asking her or her accepting.

“It’s a beautiful night,” Cole said.

“The boys wouldn’t have any trouble riding herd,” Drew replied. “Nothing could sneak up on them in all this moonlight.”

“Is that what you think of when you see the moon?”

“What else is a moon good for?”

“See those couples,” Cole said, pointing out people walking hand in hand, their arms around each other, or sitting quietly. “I’m sure not a single thought of herding cattle has crossed their minds.”

“Then they didn’t grow up on a cattle ranch.”

“I would be willing to bet it wouldn’t make any difference.”

“If they had, they’d know that looking after cows is the only reason a sensible cowhand would leave a comfortable, warm bed.”

“Well, I’d appreciate it if you could forget about cows for a few minutes.”

“And think about what?”

“Me.”

“Why?”

“If I have to tell you, I don’t suppose there’s any point.”

“I’ve been thinking about you all evening,” Drew said, a little peeved. “I watched you eat for nearly two hours. I told you more about myself than I’ve ever told anybody. What more do you want?”

“A lot more. But this will do for a beginning.”

Then he took her in his arms and kissed her.

Chapter Fourteen

No one had ever kissed Drew. The only cowboy who’d dared put his arm around her had found himself flat on the ground, the barrel of a gun only inches from his forehead, his eye rapidly swelling from the impact of Drew’s fist. Drew had no desire to knock Cole down or draw her gun on him. In fact, she felt as though she was the one who’d received a body blow.

She was unable to judge the nature of the kiss. She couldn’t tell if it was the kind of kiss a man gave a woman who was his friend, though she doubted that She’d never seen any man attempt to embrace Isabelle, and she had lots of friends. It didn’t seem likely it was of a more amorous nature. Cole had told her she was attractive, but kissing was a whole lot of steps beyond pretty compliments.

Or maybe it wasn’t Maybe other people kissed all the time if they liked each other. It seemed like a silly thing to do, but then she thought most people were silly, especially when it came to anything having to do with romance. Mooning about when they were afraid their love wasn’t returned, talking about each other like there was no one else in the world, making lifelong decisions based on naked animal attraction. From everything she’d seen, romance brought on a dangerously unbalanced mental state, a condition she intended to avoid at all costs.

But the kissing part wasn’t nearly as bad as she’d expected. Neither was being held real close. It was a bit uncomfortable at first, but soon a very satisfactory warmth surged through her. And excitement. Or nervousness. She wasn’t certain, this being her first time. She hoped she wasn’t so nervous she did everything wrong. She supposed people got evaluated on this. Even though she didn’t plan to do it again, she didn’t want Cole to put her down as the last person he’d ever kiss twice.

About this kiss … well, she didn’t really know. She had been adamant she didn’t want any man’s mouth on hers. It sounded very unsanitary, as well as a downright silly thing to do—after all, two people standing around like they were sucking on the same grape, well, it just looked silly. She’d seen Jake and Isabelle kiss a thousand times without being able to understand the attraction.

But it felt entirely different from what she’d imagined. Cole’s lips were soft, yet strong. The taste of his brandy lingered. The pressure was gentle yet insistent.

She felt her body relax, lean into Cole’s, felt her lips respond to his kiss. Then, almost as though she’d been pitched into water above her head, a feeling swept over her that defied description. It made her want to be even closer to Cole, to kiss him harder, to put her arms around his neck and hold on tight.

Before she could summon her limp muscles to respond, Cole broke their kiss. She looked into his face and saw reflected there the shock she felt.

“Now do you understand why I wanted you to think about me?” he said, his voice lacking its usual vibrant timbre.

“Why did you do that?” she asked.

“Because I wanted to.”

“Why?”

“Haven’t you ever wanted to kiss anyone?”

“No.”

“Haven’t you wondered what it was like?”

“I thought I knew.”

“And?”

“I was wrong.”

“Better or worse?”

He seemed unusually anxious over her answer.

“Better.” Drew realized Cole’s arms were still around her, their bodies still pressed together. A feeling of awkwardness overcame her, and she pulled away. “I’d better go back.”

“You haven’t seen the river yet.”

After his kiss, neither the river nor moonlight seemed very significant.

He took her hand. “You can’t go in yet. I promise I won’t kiss you again if you’ll just walk with me.”

Drew realized she wouldn’t have minded being kissed again. The first kiss had caught her so much by surprise she couldn’t really judge how she felt. She wondered if the results of a second kiss would be the same. Isabelle once said kissing Jake got better each time. If their first time had been as pleasant as Cole’s kiss, then considering the number of times they had kissed over the years, the kisses must have become so intense as to be nearly unbearable. Drew could hardly imagine anything that wonderful, but her whole body shivered at the thought.

“Okay.”

“It’s a beautiful night,” Cole said.

She couldn’t ask him to kiss her again, but her mind was definitely not on moonlight and water.

He held her hand firmly in his. “I can remember many nights like this when I was a boy, and I
wasn’t
herding cattle.”

She wondered if he’d spent them kissing the girls who agreed to walk in the moonlight with him. She wondered if he remembered any one of those kisses as clearly as she was certain she would remember this one.

“I like herding cattle,” she said. Jake said she was good at it, that she didn’t upset the cows the way some of the boys did.

“Forget cows. Think of how pretty the moonlight looks on the river.”

She had seen moonlight on the water many times before, and it had never struck her as anything special. She’d always been too busy to give it much thought But now that she looked at it, it was rather nice. The moonlight spilled across the water in a wide streak that was creamy white in the center and silver along the edges. The surface of the river rippled gently as the water moved slowly downriver.

“It is nice,” she agreed.

“It’s beautiful,” Cole said. “There wouldn’t be so many people out if it weren’t.”

There weren’t exactly hundreds of people out, maybe a dozen couples, and most of them paying scant attention to the river. Some walked hand in hand and talked quietly. Others had settled on benches provided for those interested in quietly watching the river go by. One couple stood in full moonlight, kissing. They seemed so casual about a phenomenon that had shaken her down to her foundations.

“Is that the way you kiss when you take a woman for a moonlight walk?” Drew asked, indicating the kissing couple.

Cole seemed a little surprised by her question. “Sometimes.”

“There are other ways?”

“Lots.”

They walked a little way in silence. “Did you take a lot of girls walking in the moonlight when you were young?”

“A fair number.”

“Did they like it?”

“I never had any complaints.”

He looked out over the river, preventing her from seeing his expression. “Did you kiss all of them?” she asked.

“No.”

“Why not?”

He turned to face her, amusement and curiosity mixed together in his expression. “I didn’t want to.”

“I thought all men wanted to kiss women.”

“We do, but we don’t want to kiss
every
woman. I expect women feel the same way about men.”

She’d never thought about it She rarely saw any women other than Isabelle, Marina, and Hannah. Marina had married Ward, a doctor who was Jake and Isabelle’s best friend. Hannah had married Buck, the only one of the orphans so far to get married. She was certain none of them would consider kissing another man the way they kissed their husbands. The thought came to her that she would never consider kissing another man the way she’d kissed Cole.

Did that mean she felt about Cole the way Isabelle, Marina, and Hannah felt about their husbands?

That was impossible. All three of them were miserable when they were separated from their husbands for more than a few hours. She could go for days without thinking about Cole.

You haven’t stopped thinking about him since that first night.

Of course she hadn’t. He’d dogged her heels practically every minute. That was just like a man. Once they set their minds on something, they were like a dog after a bone, determined to have it until they got it. Then, half the time, they dropped it and walked away. A woman would never do that. If she set her mind on one special quarry, it would be impossible to think of giving him up.

“I expect women are a lot more careful with their kisses than men,” she said.

“You’re probably right.”

“Are you careful with your kisses?”

He laughed. “I haven’t always been, but I think I probably will be from now on.”

“Why?”

“You have to answer a question first. Have you always been careful with your kisses?”

“That was my first kiss.”

“Your absolute first?”

“Yes.”

“What was wrong with the cowboys who worked for your father?”

“We didn’t hire hands. There were enough of us to work the ranch until recently. One tried last time I was home. I punched him in the face and told him I’d shoot his ears off if he touched me again.”

“It’s a good thing I didn’t know. I’d have been too afraid to lay a hand on you.”

It hadn’t escaped Drew’s notice that Cole managed to do quite a few things he knew she didn’t want him to do.

“Do you always hold hands when you walk a girl in the moonlight?”

“Why so many questions about what I do when I’m with other women?”

“I’ve never done any of these things. I’m sure I’ll never do them again, but I just wondered.”

Cole stopped, turned, took her other hand in his. “Why wouldn’t you want to be kissed again? Was it so unpleasant?”

“N-no. It wasn’t
unpleasant.”

“But you didn’t like it.”

“No. I—”

“What?”

“Is it always like that?”

“Like what?”

She couldn’t think of words to describe how she felt that wouldn’t sound foolish to a man who’d kissed dozens of women hundreds of times.

“I thought I wouldn’t like it, that it would be uncomfortable. But it was really nice.”

Cole took her hand and started walking again. “It’s supposed to be nice. It’s one of the things men and women do when they want to show how much they like each other.”

“Why should you want to be nice to me? You hardly know me. I argue with you all the time.”

“I like you.”

“Why?”

“Do I have to have a reason?”

“Everybody has reasons for what they do. Sometimes they don’t want to admit to them, or don’t look hard enough to find them, but they’re there.”

“That’s not a very romantic way to look at things.”

“Romance encourages people to see what they want to see rather than what is.”

“And that’s bad?”

“No matter how much you hate it, you have to face reality.”

“Did your parents?”

“No, and they paid for it with their lives. It almost cost mine, too.”

“You’re a strange woman, Drew Townsend. I’ve never met anybody like you before.”

“I’m no different from everybody else.” She didn’t like being told she was strange. It didn’t sound like a good thing.

“You try to do everything better than men, but you’re very feminine despite yourself. You say you don’t like love, don’t trust it, yet you love your family and believe in Jake and Isabelle’s love. You say you don’t like people, yet you invite half the show to retire to your ranch. You don’t think you’re attractive when even the worst mirror will confirm you’re very pretty. You say you’re shy, yet you choose show business as a way to make a living.”