Read Drink in case of Emergency Online
Authors: Carl Oliver
Please, god, or the universe, or whatever benevolent force is out there in the world. Please don’t let this be a super fast zombie situation. I really don’t think I could handle that, especially not with this particular one.
This particular zombie was having a much stronger effect on all three young men who looked upon it, because this particular zombie stood approximately three and a half feet tall. She wore a long tee shirt that had apparently been her pajamas, and her blonde hair was done up in a long braid.
Christ, she must be ten years old, Chris reflected. He looked over and saw the same mixture of fear and dread on Tyler and Justin’s faces. Scott was still behind them, pressing the Unit 504 button over and over again.
The ten year old zombie moved gradually down the hallway, until she caught sight of the three young men staring through the window. Upon seeing them, she paused for the briefest of moments, as if her brain had to process this unique situation. Then she took off at a run toward them.
Her run wasn’t as graceful and Chris was worried it would be, but in the narrow hallway, even her small stumbles were easily recovered from. In five seconds she covered the distance between herself and the window.
Chris wasn’t aware of it at the time, but his brain was cataloguing as much information as he could. While he was aware of feeling fear, for the girl had not broken her stride, even when she was less than a yard away from the window, there was a part of his brain that tracked this.
She didn’t go for the door right away, she went for the direct attack. She is faster than the ones we saw earlier, but not smarter.
The little girl lunged at the window, her nose and forehead cracked into the glass with a slap and crunch, it reminded Chris of the sound that cockroaches make when you step on them slowly. Crisp, and juicy at the same time. A small crack formed in the glass, and a large patch of purple gore stuck over this crack.
Despite the damage inflicted, the little girl did not fall. Her nose and forehead oozed purple goop from the wound she had just inflicted upon herself, but she continued to stare at her prey.
“Holy shit.” the sound came from behind Chris, this was Scott, only now seeing their tiny attacker. After staring for what she deemed an appropriate amount of time, the tiny attacker shot out with her hand, attempting to grab her prey through the glass. Her fingernails hit the thick glass, a few of them bending painfully backwards.
Justin instinctively reached for the security door’s handle, intending to hold it tight so the miniature nightmare could not get through. The fast motion caught the little girl’s attention, and she too went to the door, throwing her weight into it. She was just tall enough that her head and shoulders connected with the crossbar handle that unlocked the door.
“Shit!” Justin called out in surprise, not expecting the door to unlock so easily. The door had opened far enough for the little girl to get an arm through the opening before Justin was able to throw his weight into the door and keep it from opening any further. Her skinny, pale arm thrashed around. Her tiny fingers seemingly locked into a claw shape, rending the air for her prey.
“She opened the door. We can get through.” Scott shouted.
“Yeah, except for the whole zombie girl in the way.” Tyler called back.
“Don’t you have another closet you can lock her in?” Justin’s sarcasm thick in the small lobby. Chris knew he was joking, but he still looked around, just to be sure. No closets, just the door they came in, and this one. In addition to the wall of mailboxes, there were two overstuffed chairs, presumably to make the lobby more friendly looking. Between them stood a five foot fern looking tree that Chris was about fifty percent sure was fake.
“We have to get up there, my Aunt and Uncle might be in trouble.” Scott shouted again, a note of urgency in his voice. Chris wished there was another way around. He thought through his plan quickly, trying to find obvious holes. There were at least five big ones, but he couldn’t think of any other way at the moment.
“I’ve got a plan. Tyler, Scott, stand in the corner.” Chris pointed to the small corner of the lobby next to the door Justin was holding shut. “Justin, on the count of three, I want you to open the door all the way. Try to pull it out so you three are blocked into the corner by it. She shouldn’t be able to get you.” Chris hoped that the door would open far enough.
“You want to trap her in here with us?” Justin’s voice had a shaky panic to it.
“No, I’m going to lure her outside, and then we can just close the door. She’ll be locked out just like we were.” Chris continued thinking through his plan. He really hoped that she had just shown them her top speed when she was charging down the hallway. If she was faster than that, he wasn’t sure his plan would work.
“Ready?” Scott and Tyler had backed into the corner by Justin, who nodded in agreement. Chris began counting down.
“One.” Justin tightened his grip on the door handle. Chris took two steps back, positioning himself in the middle of the lobby.
“Two.” Chris reached over, grabbing the large cushion that made up the seat of one of the overstuffed chairs. He tugged it quickly off of the chair and held it up, like a shield. This earned him a look of confusion from Scott.
“Three!”
Tyler felt extreme pressure in his chest. He wasn’t sure if it was due to not drinking any water while he was still extremely hungover, or if it was because this was his second close encounter with a zombie in less than two hours.
Justin pulled the door open with all of his might, backing himself into Tyler and Scott in the corner. It was a tight squeeze, but they all fit. Tyler felt goosebumps break out on his forearms as he could see the little girl through the small window of the door.
She seemed confused and excited at first. She was through the door and staring up at her prey, but she still couldn’t get to them. The glass pane of the door was still obstructing her. Tyler wondered how much zombies are able to think and problem solve as he watched her cold gray eyes wander over her three targets, so close but still out of her reach. This was when Chris shouted.
“Hey ‘Creepy Longstocking’, come get some.” Chris made wild gestures while he shouted, trying to get the attention of the tiny zombie. His methods worked, and the little girl shifted her attention to her new target.
Once the girl started moving toward him, Chris didn’t waste any time backing up, out of the front door and into the spring morning. The girl followed, charging out of the small lobby, and freeing her previous quarry. Scott and Justin quickly stepped through the secured door that had once held them back, but would be their salvation. Tyler stepped into the lobby to watch what was happening outside.
In the morning sunlight, Chris was backing up further and further. The little girl couldn’t fully run, Tyler noticed, but she was moving at least twice as fast as the previous zombies they had seen. Chris still held the large seat cushion, holding it up between himself and the little girl. I know what that feels like, Tyler guessed he had looked pretty similar when he had encountered Tina a few hours ago.
Chris continued to back up, he was now halfway between the building and the street. Tyler expected him to make his way around the little girl now, maybe give her a shove like he had given to Tina. What Chris actually did next made Tyler feel uncomfortable.
Chris gave the little girl a slight shove, but when she didn’t fall down right away, he wound up and swung the cushion, hard. As he watched it, Tyler remembered having pillow fights with his bigger brother when he was growing up.
This analogy wasn’t even close.
A nine year old boy letting loose and knocking down a five year old with a big pillow is one thing, but this was a man in his mid twenties, taking a full swing at a nine year old girl with a stiff seat cushion. The little girl went down so hard that she bounced in the grass and rolled to the side. Tyler half expected her to be knocked unconscious from the blow. He was a little surprised when she began pushing herself back to her feet almost immediately.
Thankfully, Chris was already making his way back into the building, a small smile on his face and his seat cushion still in hand. Once in the door, he tossed the cushion to Tyler and went to grab the cushion from the other lobby chair.
“Hurry up, guys.” Justin called from beyond the security door. The two friends dashed through the door and it clicked shut behind them, locking out the little girl who was now leaning against the front door of the building.
****
As soon as the security door was closed, Scott took off at a run toward the stairwell at the end of the hall. He had taken this route dozens of times, as Mary had always said that elevators were there to make you lazy.
He heard his friends shouting behind him to slow down and wait up, but he couldn’t. He raced up the industrial stairwell. The sound from his feet pounding up the cement stairs echoed off the brick walls.
Gotta get to Aunt Mary and Uncle Dick.
Everything will be fine.
Before he knew it, Scott found himself on the fifth floor, his fist reaching up to knock on the door, just below the ‘504’ lettering. He thought he heard footsteps coming up on the final landing, down the hall. His knuckles had rapped twice on the wooden door when he heard a noise that made his heart drop.
From beyond the door, he heard a loud groan. It sounded animal, and male. Dick.
Dick was one of them now.
Gotta save Mary.
He began rapping faster and louder, seeing his friends coming down the hallway out of the periphery of his vision. He turned to face them, when his fist that had been knocking suddenly struck air.
It hadn’t missed, the door wasn’t there anymore. The door had been opened from the inside.
As if in slow motion, Scott turned back, seeing the ghoulish figure that bore a resemblance to Dick standing before him. Dick’s brown hair was in a mess. He stood in white briefs and a white tee shirt. His brown eyes, normally warm and inviting, had a sheen of gray over them, eclipsing any compassion that had once filled them.
Scott saw a pale, white arm begin to reach for him. He felt shock set in as cold fingers closed slowly around his throat. He couldn’t scream, he couldn’t move. He could only watch. He felt his last bit of hope die out when, over Dick’s shoulder, he could see a ghoulish version of his aunt shambling toward the door as well.
What a shitty way to go. You try to save your family, and they end up eating you.
Fucking bullshit.
Charging down the hallway, Justin saw a zombie reach out and grab Scott by the throat, and he felt his body fly into overdrive. Leaning into the charge, he felt his legs pump like pistons, propelling him down the hallway at a sprint.
As the zombie began to lean in towards Scott, his mouth open, purple drool dripping out, Justin pushed himself forward with even greater urgency.
Five. More. Steps.
A split second later, he felt his body collide with Scott’s, forcing Scott free from the grip of the zombie and onto the ground.
Shit. Now what?
Justin realized that he hadn’t actually planned how he would get Scott out of this, just that he needed to. Thankfully, Tyler and Chris were only a few steps behind him. From his place on the ground, he heard one of them collide with the zombie, using the cushions they had brought with as a shield.
After a moment or two of scuffle, he heard the door slam, and felt rough hands pulling him to his feet. He looked up to see that it was Chris who was helping him up. He looked down and saw that Scott seemed to be alive.
He was breathing, he wasn’t bleeding as far as Justin could tell, but he wasn’t okay. His eyes were tearing up, and he didn’t look like he would be getting up on his own. Justin and Chris pulled him to his feet and began half carrying him back down the hall and the stairwell they had come up.
It didn’t seem like anybody in this building was going to be saved.
*****
Tyler led the party back through the hall and down the stairwell. When they had reached the third floor landing, Scott came back into himself. He had tears streaming down his face and his nose was running, but he was standing on his own feet again.
“Wait, there’s another way down.” Everyone turned to listen. “We can…” Scott trailed off, Tyler could tell he was trying hard to keep it together. Scott had always been a really balanced person, never too excited or too bummed out. It was strange to see him like this, on the brink of losing it.
“If we go down this way, we’re going to run into the little girl again.” Chris spoke up, trying to support Scott so he could continue. “What’s the other way?” Scott took two deep breaths before continuing.
“There’s another stairwell, on the other side of the building.” Each of the four friends exchanged glances. Tyler felt the nerves he saw in his friends faces. Chris and Justin weren’t sure what to do. It couldn’t be that hard to find the other stairwell, but it would be better for everyone in the end if Scott was the one to lead them to it.
Might as well go for it.
“You okay to take the lead?” Tyler felt himself say before he really considered the consequences. On one hand, everything might turn out fine. On the other, Scott might shut down completely. Thankfully, Scott was coming back.
“You gotta give me one of those cushions. But then yeah, I can lead the way.” Tyler smiled a little as he tossed the cushion to Scott, who led the way through the stairwell door with a large “3” on it and into another carpeted hallway.
****
Five minutes later they were back in the cool morning air. Their trip across the third floor and down the other stairwell had been uneventful, with the exception of a single zombie. He was a short man who looked to be around 70, with a balding head and flannel pajamas. The man moved with slow, shuffling steps. He hadn’t appeared to even notice the four men coming up to him until they were almost past him. He had reached out a pale, purplish wrinkled arm to grab Chris, and was rewarded with a cushioned swat to the face. He had slumped against the wall with a groan, his foggy eyes wide with confusion.
Chris felt the bright morning sunlight penetrating his retinas. The pain was so sharp that he was sure it must be doing some kind of permanent damage. His throat felt dry and raspy from running up and down the five floors worth of stairs. The headache he had felt this morning had evolved into more of a general body ache, every cell screaming out for Gatorade, rest, and Taco Bell.
From the rear of the group, Chris tried to keep his eyes on Scott, while still checking occasionally behind him for any sign that the old man zombie had followed them. Scott seemed to be holding it together, frayed, but holding it together. That changed when the group made their way around the edge of the building.
Scott had everyone hold at the corner of the building. Only a few steps further and they would be in clear view of anyone in the street. He held up his fist, and Chris had a comical thought, wondering if these were Air Force or Navy Seal hand signals. Scott peeked his head around the corner and snapped it back quickly.
Shit.
“Did you see something?” Justin whispered the question before anyone else got it out. Scott took a deep breath before continuing. He’s really right on the edge, Chris reflected to himself. Doing his best to hold himself together, but right on the edge.
“The little girl is back outside. She’s just standing there, staring at the sun.”
“I think that’s what your neighbor was doing when I ran into her this morning.” Tyler offered. “Maybe it’s just some kind of zombie thing?”
“Shit’s bad for your eyes.” Chris heard himself mumble, his own eyes feeling like he had done the same. They needed some kind of plan. He was pretty sure they could beat the little girl to the car, but the stakes were too high for ‘pretty sure.’ Plus, with how hungover he was, he wasn’t sure how much more running he could do.
“You guys go to the car, I’ve got this.” Scott said and turned the corner before anyone could react.
Shit. He lost it.
Chris moved as fast as he was able to, in his present state, but by the time he was able to turn the corner Scott was already ten yards ahead of them. He had crossed half the distance to the little girl.
Absentmindedly, Chris noticed that he and Tyler were charging towards Scott, while Justin was headed in the direction of the car.
Fucking twat. Always following directions.
Ahead of him, Chris could see that Scott was now only a couple of yards away from the little girl, and he wasn’t slowing down. The little girl was just taking notice of Scott, when she received a massive slicing blow from the cushion he still carried.
When Chris had struck the little girl earlier, he had swung with everything he had. Scott had done the same, except he had turned the cushion on it’s edge. This significantly cut down on the wind resistance, speeding up the blow. Chris had also aimed generally at the little girl, just trying to knock her aside. Scott had aimed directly for her head, swinging the three pound seat cushion like a mace. Not sharp, but powerful.
Her head snapped aggressively back. Scott had hit her so hard that she had literally fallen head over heels, her tiny pale feet dangling helplessly in the air, following backward arc that the rest of her body had started. Then she hit the ground, head first, and her neck bent at such an awkward angle that Chris felt certain she would have some kind of spinal damage. The zombie girl did not rise back to her feet. Her hands and feet twitched lightly on the ground, but she stayed in the painful half somersault position she had landed in.
Holy shit.
When Scott turned back to face them, he had tears streaming down his face. “Let’s just get out of here.” he half mumbled, tossing the cushion over his shoulder, where it bounced harmlessly off the half living remains of the broken little girl.
Chris, Tyler and Scott began walking to the Stratus, where Justin stood uncomfortably. He started to say something about wanting to make sure they could make a quick getaway, which is why he ran to the car, but one look at Scott shut him up.
The four friends piled back into the Stratus wordlessly, and began driving slowly back toward Middleton.