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“Do you think I'm going to live?” she asked.

Aiden rested his hands on her knees, his gaze traveling up her body until their eyes locked. The way he stared at her, it made heat crawl up her neck and cheeks.

“I'd say you'll pull through.”

The muscles in her thighs turned to rubber and her knees parted.

Aiden reached around behind him and pulled his gun out from under his shirt. He set it on the nightstand with a heavy
thunk
, never once looking away from her. The weapon scared her, but then again so did he. He couldn't change who or what she was, but that same person made her feel safe. He turned her on. Made her want things.

Madison took his face in her hands. He tipped his chin up, lips parted. She swooped down and kissed him. She shoved her fingers through his short hair and pulled him closer. Aiden leaned in, parting her knees until he knelt between her legs, arms around her waist. Their tongues tangled. She couldn't get close enough to him. Desperation blossomed inside of her, she wanted him. Needed him with a fire she'd never before felt.

Aiden's hand slid up her stomach and between her breasts, forcing the ends of the towel apart. She lifted her head, staring down at his hand splayed across her stomach, the towel on the bed, leaving her naked. For a moment, neither moved. He stared at her, she stared at his hand.

Her nipples tightened, due to either the cool air or her heightened state of arousal, it didn't matter. He leaned in closer and blew a hot breath across her left breast.

“I didn't really get to play with these last night.” Aiden cupped her breast and kissed the outer curve, over the top and along the inner swell.

Madison let her head drop back, focusing on the feel of his mouth, his heated skin. He splayed one hand against her back and the other plumped her breast from the bottom. She planted her hands on the mattress to keep herself upright. Warmth pooled low in her stomach and her pussy clenched. He licked her nipple, once, twice, then wrapped his lips around the hardened bud and sucked.

She gasped as sensation shot through her body.

He switched breasts, rubbing the flat of his tongue against her sensitized skin while his fingers plucked the abandoned nipple, rolling it between his fingers.

“Oh. Oh!”

Her arms buckled and she sank down to her elbows. He kissed her stomach and she quivered, almost afraid to breathe.

Aiden lifted his head, staring up her body. She felt the graze of his hand on her inner thigh a second before his fingers slid through her folds. He rumbled something in his throat and thrust a finger into her. She gasped and curled her leg around him while he slid in and out of her.

“Fuck, you're wet.”

Words were beyond Madison. She groaned something that might have been interpreted as “Yes.”

He kissed her hip and she stopped breathing. She didn't know if she could handle another sensual assault like last night. He pulled his finger from her and straightened.

“If you want to tell me no, this would—”

“No clothes.” She sat up and grabbed his shirt. Was the man crazy?

He lifted his arms. She swept his shirt off. She flattened her hands against his chest. He had a crest of some sort tattooed over his left pec, and script that ran across his right side. There were more markings though. In the light, she could see little scars dotting his skin, a few ragged marks. He lived a dangerous life, and he wore the marks on his skin. Would what he did for her leave another? She hoped not.

Aiden planted his hands on either side of her hips and kissed her hard enough to steal her breath.

He stood and toed off his boots, hands working his pants button and zipper open.

They were going to have sex. Again.

The thought—the reality—excited her.

“Don't move,” Aiden said.

She froze in the act of scooting farther onto the bed.

“I want you right there. Like that. Spread your legs a little.”

Her heart pounded. No man had ever wanted to see all of her. They'd always been more interested in getting to the grand finale. Except Aiden seemed determined to strip her bare, expose every last bit of her and take pleasure in it. Of course he gave better than he got, which only pushed her off-kilter. He was so different, which made her want to obey him, despite the natural urge to cover herself.

She let her legs relax and fall open. The cool air touched the apex of her thighs and she shivered while his gaze ate her up.

He tossed his wallet on the bed and shoved his jeans off.

There was so much of him she hadn't been able to see last night.

Aiden closed the distance between them and leaned down until their faces almost touched. He glanced at his wallet and flipped it open.

“I really hope you're in the habit of restocking condoms.”

“Not usually, but I made sure today. Just in case.”

“I must be a lucky girl.”

“You will be.”

She chuckled.

He plucked a condom from the wallet and held it out to her.

“Put it on me.”

Madison snatched the packet from his hand and tossed her hair over her shoulder. She might not be so good at accepting attention lavished on her, but giving? That was something she enjoyed.

She kissed his cheek, trailing her fingers along his jaw.

“Stand up straight, and I will.”

Aiden made that low, growling sound deep in his throat. He stared at her like he wanted to eat her whole. He straightened, his erect cock bobbing toward her.

The attraction still sizzled between them, but it was different tonight. Last night had felt daring. Tonight, they were toeing the knife edge of intensity, and yet, there was humor.

Madison tore the wrapper open; her hands steady for once that night. She wrapped a hand around his cock and pumped the velvety smooth flesh.

“Madison.” He said her name as a warning.

“What?”

“I am not in the mood for teasing.”

“You're no fun.”

She rolled the condom on, glancing up at his stony face.

The moment the latex covered his cock, he pushed her onto her back and kissed her. She wrapped an arm around his neck and slid the other between them. He dug a hand into her hair and wrapped the wet locks around his fingers. He turned her face away from him and kissed down the length of her neck. She grasped his cock and for a moment, he stilled. Even through the thin barrier, his heat nearly seared her.

Aiden nuzzled the ticklish spot just below her ear.

“Put me in you,” he said.

Alternating waves of warmth and chill swept her body.

“You're awfully bossy.” She meant to sound confident and assured, but instead, her voice was breathy, telegraphing just how much she wanted this. Him.

“I can tell you how to do it, if you'd like.”

“I'm pretty sure I know how that goes.”

He relaxed his hold on her hair. She turned her face toward him and guided his cock to her entrance. The moment his head touched her folds, they both sucked in a breath, and her insides quivered. He flexed his hips, pressing into her. She relaxed her hold, sliding her fingers along his length. He penetrated her deeper.

Her breathing hitched as he withdrew and thrust in earnest, sinking deep. She cupped his balls and he paused while she sucked at the spot on his neck where it joined his shoulder. She slid her fingers along the seam between his testicles and squeezed her internal muscles around him.

Aiden grabbed her arm, hauling it up to his chest. He turned his face, sealing his mouth over hers. He withdrew and thrust hard enough little sparks of color burst behind her eyelids. She wrapped her arms around his chest, sliding her hands down his back until she could grasp his ass.

He stroked in and out of her while he thrust his tongue into her mouth, invading her body. She arched her back, letting the short, coarse hair on his chest rub against her nipples. His hands held her head, while he supported himself on his forearms. She wrapped a leg around his hip and planted a foot on the bed, trying to move in tandem with him.

They breathed in time, bodies joined. She urged him deeper with each thrust, as if she could merge their spirits.

Aiden pulled her ass slightly off the bed, changing the angle. She gasped, tilting her head back. He continued to piston in and out of her, each thrust rubbing her clit. The gentle build-up became an incredible rush. She dug her fingers into his flexing muscles and held on.

“That's it,” he chanted, punctuating each with a kiss to her neck, cheek, anywhere he could reach.

She heard herself moan, but she was powerless, not that she wanted to be in control of this ride. Aiden was the driver.

“A-Aiden!” His name turned into a squeal. Her internal muscles clamped down on him and her orgasm burst forth, washing over her.

He continued to move, fucking her through the turbulent emotions, drawing out her pleasure until she sobbed his name. She lay on the bed, her limbs heavy, body spent, Aiden above and inside of her. She didn't even have the energy to open her eyes and look at him, but she felt his gaze on her. Gently, he kissed her cheek and murmured something she couldn't make out.

She wanted to tell him to hold still, let her savor this moment, but he withdrew, easing her legs to the floor. He went a step further, scooping her up and laying her more comfortably on the bed. For such a man's man, he was surprisingly gentle. He smoothed her hair off her face and tossed a blanket over her.

Madison could love a man like him. Or just him. It was easy, really. She just opened herself up, and fell.

Chapter Eighteen

Aiden tossed the condom into the trash with more force than was necessary. She was everything he couldn't have, and it ticked him off. He glanced toward the door, but didn't hear Madison stirring from bed. He wanted to return to her, wrap her hair around his fist, and pound into her until he came—but he couldn't. He'd watched her come, and it had broken something in him. He wanted to watch her do that—saying his name—again and again. It was the kind of permanence he didn't have any business wanting.

He stepped into the glass-walled shower and turned the spray on hot. His erection mocked him. By the time he finished, he hoped Madison would be deep asleep. After today, she had every right to pass out, except she hadn't had a chance to eat. He'd let his desire take over, instead of ensuring she got proper food and rest. Selfish, but he wouldn't change anything. And therein lay the problem.

The hot water pelted his back. He leaned his forearm against the glass and rested his head against it.

The team always came first. Before his wants, needs, or family, the team was most important of all. He'd thought he could control his attraction to Madison, keep it separate, but the truth was that he wanted her for himself. He'd given up so much, accepting the estranged arrangement with his family for their protection, pushing people away until he was a well-honed machine, ready to perform. It wasn't healthy. Couldn't last. But then, he'd always told himself there was an end date. When Evers was locked up in jail, he could make amends.

He knew how a relationship in his current state would go. Things would be fine, they would be careful, then someday, Evers would catch on to them. They all knew it was a day coming up fast, and when it did, anyone close to their team would be a target. People like Madison and his grandmother. He didn't want to bury Madison like he had his sister.

Aiden opened his eyes and glared at his persistent dick. Hard as ever. Because what he wanted was so close, and he couldn't have it.

If they didn't close this thing with Evers soon, Aiden was going to lose it. The chance at a normal life, the family he'd always thought he'd have someday. He was sick of the operations, of living like he was in a war zone and letting the FBI yank him around. He was a seasoned enough soldier and operative to know that if he didn't take something for himself, if he didn't carve out a bit of normalcy, he'd end up like Julian.

“Aiden?”

Through the fog on the glass, he could see the shapely figure on the other side.

“I thought you were asleep,” he said.

“No.” She padded across the floor.

“You should get some rest.”

The door opened, letting in a blast of cool air. Madison stepped in, still naked, her hair loose. He stood stock-still. She reached for him, placing her hand against his cheek and gently kissing his mouth. As much as he knew he should push her away, create some distance, he couldn't.

“Why didn't you come back to bed?” she asked.

“You need to get some sleep.” It was the only refrain he could think of as a plausible reason. He wasn't about to tell her the truth.

“We weren't finished.” She glanced down at his erection.

“Don't worry about that.” It wouldn't be the first time he'd jacked off in a shower.

“Hm.” She wrapped her hand around his cock and he gritted his teeth. She pumped him.

“Madison.”

“You don't get to tell me what to do all the time, only when I let you.”

“But you follow orders so well.”

She laughed, and God he wanted to—record that sound, bottle up her essence—something to keep it with him always. He reached out and traced a heart tattooed on the side of her ribs.

“Hurt like a bitch, didn't it?” he asked.

“Pretty sure I cried.”

“I regretted that placement within five seconds.”

“What does it say?” She glanced at his side.

“It's Greek.”

“Well it doesn't look like English.”

“Is that what you came in here to do? Ask me about my tattoo?”

She stared at him a second, then slowly blinked. “No, I came in here to give you a blow job. Hands against the wall, big boy.”

It was his turn to stare at her. That . . . was not what he expected her to say, but then again, he should be used to that by now. Madison was never what he anticipated.

She sank to her knees, hands on his thighs. He stared at her, unable to think or process the moment beyond
Holy fuck
. She ran her nails up and down his inner thighs, peering up at him.

“And just in case you have some stupid idea that the only reason I'd give you head is to get something, think again.”

“I didn't—”

“Oh shut up and enjoy it.” She grinned and wrapped her hand around his cock.

Whatever hardness he'd lost in the moments between being inside of her until now redoubled. His vision blurred. Her hand slid along his length, her fingers finding every sensitive place along the head of his dick.

He swayed on his feet. Had a woman ever made him weak at the knees like this? Probably not. He leaned back against the cold wall and stared down at her.

Madison had one hand around the base of his erection, the other splayed against his thigh, just over an eight-inch scar. Her expression was one of intent. A woman on a mission. He held his breath. She rose up on her knees and bent her head.

The first lick of her tongue along the underside of his cock drove all rational thought from his mind. She pumped his length while treating the crown like her personal lollipop, swirling her tongue over his head.

He made a guttural noise in the back of his throat. Her mouth closed over him and she sucked lightly. The hand on his thigh rose to his balls, rolling them in her palm. The water pelting them had nothing on the heat of her mouth. She bobbed her head slowly, working more of him into her mouth. He rested his hand on the top of her head. Her mouth and hand worked in tandem, stroking all of him.

She peered up at him as she slid his cock into her mouth, all the way until he hit the back of her throat. He sucked in a deep breath when she shifted. It felt so good, so hot and fuck—he was going to come way too soon.

Madison worked him in and out, rubbing her tongue along the underside of his cock and sucking. Her mouth was heaven. Way too good for him.

He dug his hand into her wet hair and thrust lightly. She hummed once more, holding still in his grip. He guided her by her hair, working in and out of her mouth, trying to be gentle. She placed her hands on the backs of his legs and scored his skin with her nails. He thrust, rougher than he intended. She dug her fingers in, treating him just as rough as he had her.

Aiden wrapped her hair around both hands and held her while he thrust into her mouth. She sucked and rubbed her tongue over him, driving his control out of the window. He fucked her mouth, trying to gentle his hold, to be careful, but all he wanted was her, to brand himself on her, never to be forgotten.

He pulled out of her mouth once he felt a prickling sensation at the base of his spine. He rocked up on his toes and cum spurted out of his cock. Her hand wrapped around him, pumping him while the orgasm rolled up from his toes, pleasure cascading through his body while she drew the last drops from him.

Aiden released his hold on her hair and slumped against the wall. She rocked back onto her heels, looking up at him. The shower was already washing the evidence of his orgasm away.

He held out his hand and pulled her to her feet, tugging her against him. She smiled, and it was as if the rest of the world ceased to register. So long as Madison had reason to look at him like that, nothing else mattered. He bent his head and kissed her, wanting to drink her in, soak up all that she was.

There was no knowing what would happen, if he could figure out a way to make them work, or if she'd even be interested. For now, he had this moment. Tonight. And he'd sure as hell enjoy them.

He took the soap and washed her once more before completing his shower. Even his stomach was starting to growl, and he'd done nothing but sit on his ass and have a couple of beers tonight. He guided Madison out of the shower, mindful of the slick floor, and bundled her into another of the fluffy towels. Her sleepy smile made his heart do a little summersault. He couldn't remember the last time someone had looked at him with that much trust in their eyes. It made his responsibility to her that much heavier. He settled her on the sofa while he reheated dinner.

“I didn't know what to get you, so I ordered it all and had it put on the side,” he said. The microwave dinged.

“I'm easy to please.” Her tone was drowsy, and no surprise. Between the stress, her bout, and now another round of lovemaking, it was amazing she hadn't passed out already.

“I'll keep that in mind.” He set the Styrofoam container in her lap before situating himself.

For a few moments, they ate in silence. Madison polished off half her burger, showing just how ravished she'd been. He liked this, just being with her. She didn't push him, didn't expect him to be or do anything. Too many people wanted him to fit their ideas of a shop owner, or a driver, or an operative, or a soldier. He was exhausted by the burden of it all. Couldn't he just be?

“So, the tattoo, what does it say?” she asked between bites.

He picked through the fries before selecting the perfect one to dunk in ketchup. His right side prickled in remembered pain.

“One of the officers on my first deployment was a real brainy kind of guy. Big history buff, always telling us about how history repeats itself. I resented him at the time. I mean, it was post-9/11, we were in the thick of a big push, and he goes off about philosophers and the Crusades. He died during that deployment. Our next CO was a prick, and it taught me how good we'd had it. I never appreciated Benny until then.”

For a moment, he chewed his food, rolling the bits of memory around in his head. Most of his unit had died without Benny there. Aiden could name the survivors on one hand. The man had known his shit.

Aiden cleared his throat, Benny's voice echoing in his mind, and he recited the tattooed quote. “
First, have a definite, clear practical ideal; a goal, an objective. Second, have the necessary means to achieve your ends; wisdom, money, materials, and methods. Third, adjust all your means to that end.
”

“Did Benny say that?” Madison asked.

“No, Aristotle. Like I said, Benny was a history and philosophy buff.” It was probably because of Benny's leadership that both Julian and Aiden survived the hell of their next deployment. After that, everything changed. They were selected for special operations and the courses of their lives were forever altered.

“He sounds like an amazing person.”

“Yeah, he was kind of an ass, but he kept everyone breathing.”

“What about the bumper on the Chevelle? Think you'll be able to find a replacement?”

“Yeah, it's just going to take a hell of a long time.”

“You can't just order one?”

“I could, but it wouldn't be the real deal. See, a lot of people take these cars and refurbish them, make them plush, update the console a bit.” He shook his head. “Not the Chevelle. It's a restoration.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning it's the way it would be if it rolled off the assembly line. It's in perfect condition. Or it was.”

“How'd you get into doing old cars?”

“My grandpa. He died a long time ago, but he taught me all about cars and because of him, I grew to appreciate the classics. They don't make cars the way they used to. Those cars? They were made to last. It's why you'll see a car from the fifties still cruising down Ninety-Five. The things they're rolling off the lines now?” He shook his head. “They have a shelf life and they do that intentionally. Keep people always getting a new car.”

Aiden glanced at Madison, eating her fries and watching him.

“You don't care about cars. Why am I telling you this?” Truth was he could go on for hours.

“It's interesting, but yeah, I don't really appreciate cars the way you do.”

“Then why ask me?”

“Because it's not like I can ask where you grew up or what your family is like or why you have a scar on your leg. You can't risk telling me the normal, personal things, but cars—they're like an extension of you.” She shrugged and glanced down at the last bits of her dinner. “I just want to know more about you, and it's the only safe thing I can think about.”

The sad reality of it hit him full in the chest. He knew almost her entire life story, inside and out, and she could probably list just a few things about him. He wanted to tell her, to share his life with her, but she was right. It was safer for her if she didn't know. And yet, he couldn't stop himself. What was one little story?

“We were in Sangin, this awful town in southern Afghanistan, on a mission. They grow a lot of opium there. Things weren't going well. We were taking fire and trying to get to our extraction point. Julian and I were pinned down in this alley, so he breaks into this shop and we go out the other side. This woman—she had to be high as fuck—comes out of a back room. I freeze. She stabbed me here.” He lifted the towel and pointed at the thicker part of the scar, right up near his groin. “And she yanks it, down. I start bleeding everywhere and Julian knocks her out. I was bleeding badly. She cut my femoral artery and I would have probably lost it right there if it weren't for Julian. He got a tourniquet around my leg, carried me out of there, took a bullet doing it, but we survived.”