Drive and Determination (2 page)

*~*~*

            Later that day at the reception, Elyssa was talking to her friend, Charlene Lukas. The band played a specially requested song and the bride and groom were asked to come to the dance floor and have their first dance together.
            “She does look happy, doesn’t she, Charlene?” Elyssa said to her friend.
            “Uncharacteristically so! I have never seen her display such an outward expression of joy. She seems quite happy!”
            They were silent for a moment and then Charlene continued, “You were quite the envy of many a young lady today, Elyssa.”
            “And why is that?”
            “William Denton, of course! I dare say you must find him as irresistible as everyone else does!”
            “Irresistible? Heaven forbid! That would certainly present me with a great misfortune, as I am quite determined to despise the man.”
            Elyssa noted Charlene’s eyes widen and quickly dart to the side as she finished her sentence. She was therefore, quite stunned when she turned and noticed Will standing next to them.
            Barely meeting his eyes with her own, she said, “Yes?”
            “They are calling the wedding party to the dance floor to join Chad and Janet. I believe this is
our
dance.” 
            “I… uh…” The last thing she wished to do was dance with this man. She should have anticipated this dance with him, but it had not even crossed her mind. Turning to Charlene and giving her a pathetic look of dismay, she extended her hand to Will. He grasped it and led her to the dance floor.
            They danced for some time in silence and Elyssa was resolved not to break it, which was highly uncharacteristic for her. When it dawned on her, though, that Will preferred to dance without speaking, she suddenly decided it would be much more fun for her and punishment for him to break that silence.
            “Was it truly necessary for you to send Chad and Janet down to Guatemala?”
            She felt his arm tighten around her back as he easily moved around the dance floor. He pulled back and looked at her with one prominently raised eyebrow. “You like to be confrontational as a rule while you are dancing?”
            “Only when I am dancing with someone whose actions I strongly disagree with. Since we have nothing else in common, if I did not speak of that, heaven forbid, we would dance entirely without speaking a word to one another.”
            He seemed at a loss for a retort, but only for a short while. “And do you think you know how to run a business so that it utilizes people’s gifts and abilities for the benefit of the company?”
            Now it was Elyssa’s turn to pull away. “Benefit of the company? What about the benefit of the employee? Do you ever consider that?”
            “There are things about running a successful business that you do not understand, Elyssa.”
            “And there are things about consideration for others that
you
don’t understand!”
            The effect was immediate. A deeper shade of hauteur overspread his features but he said not a word. For the rest of the dance, they each danced in angry silence.
            As the song came to an end, however, Elyssa realized that this was the first time she had ever danced in perfect union with a man. She had not given one thought to her steps as he led her about the floor. She attributed it to his being an excellent dancer, but she decided to make one final silent declaration.
            As the final note of the song was played, Elyssa planted her foot firmly and decisively on his. They stepped apart and she looked at him. “I’m so sorry,” she said sarcastically and turned and walked away.

*~*~*

            Later, as Elyssa walked through the hall outside the reception area, she stopped in front of a small table that she had seen several times that day. It was situated in front of a mirror and each time she had walked past, she had fought the overwhelming urge to rearrange the items that were displayed upon it. This time she acquiesced to that impelling force within her. Picking up a vase of flowers, she moved it back a few inches while bringing a dish of potpourri up and to the right. Tilting her head and narrowing her eyes as she looked at it, she still felt something was not right. She took one of three candles and brought it towards the center and to the right. Stepping back, she looked at it and felt quite pleased.
            She blamed her keen eye for placement in design for this odd propensity of hers as she felt a strong sense of restlessness if things were not arranged properly. Her biggest enticements were items on a table that she could easily rearrange. Poorly placed pictures and décor on walls were much more difficult for her to discreetly rearrange. As she looked at the table with a sense of contentment, she heard two men talking who were just around the corner of the hall. She knew immediately that one of them was William Denton.
            “So are you and Carolyn a serious thing?” asked someone unknown to her. “Do I hear wedding bells for the two of you?”
            Will Denton had let out a huff. “Marriage is not something I have the time to think about at this stage in my life.”
            “And what about Carolyn? Is she quite content to put up with your long hours and busy schedule?”
            “She understands the demands of running a successful business.”
            “You bet she does!” The man let out a hearty laugh. “And she understands all the benefits, too. She is lavished with all the gifts that you bestow on her to make up for your absence.”
            As Elyssa heard this, she laughed to herself, as that was exactly the way she imagined their relationship to be.
            “It’s not like that,” countered Will.
            “Sure it’s not,” the other voice said sardonically. “Heavens, Denton, you have women falling at your feet! Why settle for just one? Particularly
that
one!”
            Elyssa was about to walk on when she heard her name mentioned. “You know, if I were not already married, I would do my best to attract Janet’s sister’s attention. Now that’s one fine looking lady, that Elyssa, don’t you agree? You looked stunning together out on the dance floor.”
            “Hmmph. She’s tolerable I suppose. I find nothing noticeably striking about her.”
            Elyssa’s eyebrows shot up. She found herself frozen to the spot, unable to will herself to move away as the men’s footsteps grew closer.
            “Only tolerable?” the other man laughed. “Nothing striking about her? Come, William.”
            “She’s just a naïve, opinionated little girl who lives in an idealistic world, thinking that everything revolves around her. She lives in a fantasy where friends and family are never separated. She has no idea what running a business entails and should keep her ignorant opinions to herself!”
            Before Elyssa could even respond to what she heard, the two men turned the corner of the hallway where she was standing and they found themselves face to face with the object of their conversation. The look she flashed them gave them both the impression that she had overheard everything. Silence seemed to overtake everyone and Elyssa archly walked past them, with not so cordial feelings toward the man building up within her. Consequently, neither Elyssa nor Will spoke to one another again for the rest of the day and they wouldn’t see each other again for two years.

Chapter 1

Two years later

               
Elyssa’s hands were shaking as she tried to put on the finishing touches of her makeup. It suddenly seemed a trivial thing to have to do. Everything now seemed inconsequential and meaningless. Her eyes were red from endless tears. She had very little motivation to do much of anything since she had received the news and now, when she felt completely inadequate, she was expected to give a eulogy.
            Chad and Janet had been driving on a highway during a rain storm and their car skidded off the road. There was no one else involved and because of the poor visibility that night, very little information about how it happened could be gleaned from the few eyewitnesses. The car had overturned twice and by the time an ambulance had come and they were taken to a hospital, both were gone.
            Elyssa closed her eyes tightly, deciding that people would have to accept her red and swollen eyes and tear-stained face. They would have to accept her shaking hands and quivering voice. She felt that any eulogy she gave would never be able to do Janet justice, and even though she felt completely incompetent to give her the kind of eulogy she deserved, Elyssa knew she had to do it. She had to tell the world what a wonderful sister and friend Janet had been to her.
            Her aunt, Maddy Garner, tapped lightly on the bathroom door. “Are you about ready, Elyssa?”
            Elyssa swallowed. “Yes, Aunt. I’ll be right there.”
            She gave her long, rich, dark brown hair one last thorough brushing and opened the door. Looking at her aunt, she gave her a slight shrug of her shoulders. “I guess that’s about as good as I can make myself look.”
            As tears filled her eyes again, Maddy pulled her close. “You poor girl. You have been through so much; first losing your father, and now dearest Janet and her husband.” She drew away and looked at her. “Are you quite certain you want to read the eulogy? You know your uncle or the pastor would be more than happy to read the words you have written in your place.”
            “No, no. I must do this for Janet.” Elyssa took a deep breath.
            “Come then, Elyssa. Your mother and sister are ready and the limousine that Mr. Denton sent for us has arrived to take us to the church.”
           
Elyssa felt her heart grip with anger at just the mention of his name.
Mr. Denton
,
 the high and mighty president of
Pemberleo Coffee
.
 
Mr. Denton,
 who was responsible for sending Janet and her husband, Chad, down to Guatemala in the first place, thereby separating Elyssa from her beloved sister, dearest friend, and closest confidant.
Mr. Denton
, who thought only of his business and gave no consideration as to what either Chad or Janet wanted; and now, because of that decision, they were both gone.
Mr. Denton
,
 who put his business first, and woe to anyone who countered him.
Mr. Denton
,
 whose disparaging remark about her two years ago still stung.
            Elyssa found herself gritting her teeth thinking back to all he represented to her.
            She shuddered in contempt as she considered that this man’s means of showing his devotion for his supposedly good friend and compassion to the grieving family was merely to provide the limousine for them and order a large floral display for the funeral.
            Elyssa shook her head. No, most likely he had his secretary order it.
            He was giving the eulogy for Chad and she imagined he would be very good at it. He would be very businesslike, unemotional, and detached. Elyssa had very little gratefulness in her heart for the meager, superficial actions of this man.
            Elyssa came downstairs and joined her mother and younger sister, Lynette. The family had come to Chicago, where the funeral was being held. This was where Janet and Chad had lived before getting married and only briefly as man and wife before they set out for Guatemala. The Barnetts had all been flown out and put up in a hotel at the expense of Pemberleo Coffee and Mr. William Denton.
            When Janet moved to Chicago several years ago, Elyssa missed her terribly and even more so when she and Chad moved to Guatemala. She had seen her only three times in the two years they lived down there and that was only when they came back home on extended visits.
            How she wished she had taken the time to visit the Blakelys in Guatemala. But she never had and now she would never again have the opportunity to see Janet in the country that had become her home these past two years.
            When Elyssa came downstairs to the lobby, her uncle drew her into a hug. “Now, Elyssa, just say the word and I’ll do the eulogy for you. I think Janet would be pleased simply that you wrote such a moving tribute to her.”
            “No, but I thank you, Uncle. If I don’t do this, I know I will regret it.”
            He took her by the hand, patting it. “I’m sure you’ll do just fine, Elyssa.”
            “Thank you,” she said softly.
            They walked out to the stretch limousine and Elyssa cringed at the somewhat stifled “Wow!” uttered by Lynette as the door was opened for them. Elyssa turned to reprimand her sister for her thoughtless reaction, but stopped, reminding herself that she was only 17 and still very immature. Her sister was so different from herself and Janet that she knew the young girl’s grief did not reach the depths of her like it did Elyssa.
            Elyssa could not help but wonder, as well, of her mother’s grief. While she had initially cried, Elyssa now saw her display very little emotion. The only difference in Mrs. Barnett’s demeanor was that she was more subdued than normal. Elyssa wondered how to even reach out to her, but she and her mother had never been close and she hoped that Lynette, who was more like her mother in temperament, would be there for her.
            They all settled into the spacious vehicle and departed for the church. Elyssa looked out the window and found herself pondering how everyone was going about their usual business.
How can they carry on as if nothing has happened?
 
she asked herself. She could rationally tell herself that Janet meant nothing to these people, but she felt the loss so powerfully that she felt that everyone else should feel it, as well.
            The funeral was in honor of both Chad and Janet. Chad’s family consisted of his two sisters, a brother-in-law, and a handful of distant relatives. Janet’s family consisted of her mother, sisters, their Aunt Maddy and Uncle Edward Garner, Aunt Laurel and Uncle John Phillips and several cousins. The Barnett and Blakely families were each given private gathering rooms of their own before the funeral. The two families were not particularly close, so they felt more comfortable grieving separately.
            When the limousine pulled up to the church, they all walked in silently, which was exceedingly difficult for Lynette, who was usually inclined to comment on everything and everyone around her. They were shown into the room that was reserved for them to gather before the funeral. Their Aunt and Uncle Phillips had already arrived and everyone greeted one another warmly and with fervent hugs.
            While everyone seemed to be bearing up under the strain and grief of it all, Elyssa was unexpectedly and unusually quiet. Her Aunt Maddy lingered closely, keeping a pulse on Elyssa’s demeanor. Elyssa gripped the piece of paper on which she had typed out Janet’s eulogy, nervously folding and unfolding it, curling it, and pressing it flat. Her aunt wondered whether the paper would survive the remaining 30 minutes before the funeral service began.
            “Elyssa, how are you doing?” her aunt asked.
            “I was just thinking that the last time I was here at this church…” her voice trailed off and fresh tears came to her eyes. She took in a deep breath as she continued, “Janet and Chad were getting married. And now…”
            “I know it is difficult, Elyssa.” Her aunt took her hand and patted it reassuringly. “I’ll be praying that you’ll find the inner strength and command of presence to do this.”
            They both grasped hands and Elyssa took in some more deep breaths. “Thank you. You know I appreciate that.”
            Soon guests began to arrive. The two grieving families were escorted into the chapel once all the guests were seated. When they walked into the church, Elyssa gasped at the multitude of people. She was amazed at how many had come to pay their respects to the young couple. Elyssa tried to glance about her and see who had come, but tears began to fill her eyes again and it was a useless attempt. She reached into the pocket of her skirt and pulled out a handkerchief she had earlier placed there, dabbing her eyes.
            The pastor -- the same one who had married them -- welcomed everyone, thanking each one for coming, and extended comforting words to the families.
            A mutual friend of Janet and Chad was asked to play and sing one of Janet’s favorite songs during the service. As she sang, Elyssa steeled herself for the daunting task that lay ahead of her. She barely heard the song and suddenly felt a hand upon her shoulder. She looked back to see her Aunt Maddy, who was seated behind her, and was reassured by her gentle touch and warm smile. In her grief, she barely heard the pastor say, “And now, Janet’s closest sister and dearest friend, Elyssa, will give her eulogy.”
            Elyssa took a deep breath, wiping her eyes one last time with her well used and crumpled up handkerchief before walking up to the front of the church. Each step seemed an encumbered effort. Finally, she reached the podium and turned. Standing before everyone, she took in a deep breath and proceeded to tell everyone what a wonderful person Janet Barnett Blakely had been.
            William Denton was seated behind the Blakely family members. If there was anything he disliked more than being in social situations with people with whom he did not have a previous acquaintance, it was sitting through a funeral. He would have preferred to sit in the back, giving him an opportunity for a quick exit, but considering he was giving the eulogy for Chad, that was not possible.
            He shifted in his seat as the song came to an end. It was when Elyssa came up to the front that he was suddenly attentive. He eyed her curiously. She had grown up a bit since he had last seen her two years ago at the wedding. She had been beautiful then, a 21 year old with a lively personality and deep, engaging eyes. But, in a manner most typical of him, he had blurted out some inane remark about her that was unkind and she, he was quite certain, had overheard.
            Now he looked up and watched Elyssa as she struggled through the eulogy. She was deeply emotional, but through her words she was able to paint a picture of her sister that was moving to everyone in the church. She had to stop several times to regain her composure, taking the time to wipe her eyes and catch her breath. He sat mesmerized as he watched and listened, realizing that he was beginning to feel the depths of her loss as everyone around him was, as well.
            She concluded with, “What more is there that I can say to all of you here that would help you get to know my sister Janet perhaps a little better? There was none finer, none sweeter, and none more caring than Janet Barnett Blakely.” Elyssa stopped and looked down, her breathing labored. Stifling the threat of an onslaught of tears, she finished, “I will miss her more than I can bear to imagine.”
            Elyssa walked slowly back to her place, her tears falling freely. Sniffling could be heard throughout the church because of the depth of emotion that was evoked through her words.
            Will shook himself out of it. He could not allow himself to feel this way. It was now time for him to give Chad’s eulogy and he needed to remain composed and steady. Ever since his mother’s death, he had been taught by his father that it was wrong for a man to display any sort of emotional feeling. When his father died 7 years ago, he had pushed aside all feelings and unflinchingly taken over as president of
Pemberleo Coffee
,
 making it one of the premier family owned coffee companies in the world.
            He looked down at his notes about Chad. Suddenly he felt foolish. Elyssa had returned to her seat and most everyone had been moved to tears by what she said. Now it was his turn and he knew he would sound cold and unfeeling, just as he always did. Exactly as he wished to be.
            He was introduced and walked up to the front. He made a vain attempt to smile at the Blakelys, trying his hardest to avoid Carolyn’s gaze, as he had broken things off with her a little over a year ago. In her grief, she seemed intent on pursuing him again, calling him several nights in a row after they had received word of the deaths, wanting to get together and talk. He knew what that would mean and politely and repeatedly declined.
            He looked over to Janet’s family and noticed Elyssa’s head turned down, handkerchief pressed tightly to her eyes, and shoulders shaking violently.
            He took in a deep breath, made an attempt to moisten his mouth which had suddenly gone dry, and he began. He talked about Chad in their university years together, how he had been a loyal and good friend; how he had been an excellent employee and, from all he heard, a loving and supportive husband. As he spoke the words he had written, he knew that they were lacking the feeling that Elyssa’s words held. When he was finished, he gratefully and slowly returned to his seat, taking note that most people seemed unstirred.
            Elyssa heard every word of his eulogy, although she never once looked up at him.
Yes
,
 she thought to herself.
Cold and heartless; just doing his duty. Precisely as I imagined. He will never change.
            After the service, the Blakely family and the Barnett family gathered in the courtyard of the church and accepted the words of sympathy from everyone as they filed out. Elyssa was counting the minutes before this would all be over.
            Feeling as though every word she spoke and every action she took were strictly a mechanical response or a forced effort, she received everyone’s kind words of sympathy, making a concerted effort to smile and show a brave front. She noticed that several people from
Pemberleo Coffee
were now coming through the line, many of whom she had never met.
            Among them were John and Shelley Walker, who worked with Chad and Janet in Guatemala and who could only say wonderful things about them.
            There was Bill Collier, the company’s employee relations man and chaplain, who had been the one who had to fly from Chicago to California, bringing the Barnett family the news of the accident.
            “Hello, Miss Barnett. Your words about your sister were such a blessing to each person here. Everyone who knew Janet now knows a little more about her and those who did not know her… well… I am sure they wish they had.”
            “Thank you, Mr. Collier.”
            He nodded and offered a, “God bless you.” He lingered but a moment longer, as if he wanted to say something more, but then moved on.
            He was followed by a man who introduced himself as George Westham. He informed the Barnetts that he was a sales person who spent most of the time in Guatemala. He was most charming and cordial to Elyssa. “Miss Barnett, I knew Chad and Janet quite well, and I do not know of any couple more generous or kind than they were.”
            “Thank you, Mr. Westham.”
            He reached out for Elyssa’s hand and held it firmly in his. “If there is anything I can do to help you through your grief, I would be most happy to offer whatever assistance I can give.”
            “You are too kind.”
            George Westham reluctantly released her hand and walked on. Elyssa only barely noticed the giggling response Lynette gave him when he approached her and spoke to her.
            As Elyssa accepted and released the hand of another kind person who had more thoughtful words of praise for Janet and Chad and sympathy for the family, she turned toward the next person in line and unexpectedly found herself face to face with William Denton.
            He extended his hand to her as Elyssa flashed him a darting glare.
            “Miss Barnett, I am truly sorry for your great loss.”
            She merely looked down at his hand and then back up to meet his eyes with a piercing stare. “Yes, well, perhaps if they had not been forced to move to Guatemala, they would still be here with us today.”
            Will tensed and withdrew his hand as Elyssa did not seem inclined to accept it. “Well,” he started awkwardly, “if there is anything we at Pemberleo can do to make it easier for you, let us know.”
            “Thank you, but I think we shall manage just fine without any of your assistance.”
            Will walked on and gave a simple word of sympathy to the rest of the family and quickly made his exit, avoiding Carolyn, avoiding the large gathering of people, and avoiding Elyssa’s accusatory stare. For some reason that he could not fathom, her censure disconcerted him immensely.
            Elyssa took in a faltering breath as the last of the guests moved past her. She looked up and noticed the tall, dark, and meticulously dressed man, who so enraged her, quickly make his exit. His duty was done and all this would now be behind him. She did not think she would ever be able to forgive him.