Drive-By (4 page)

T
he day was bad.

First I thought I’d give the gun to the principal, but he wasn’t going to be at school for another hour. He had a meeting at the district office. I said I’d wait, but as I sat in his office, I kept thinking how much trouble Gus was going to get into. Then I started worrying that the principal wouldn’t believe me and I’d be the one in trouble.

Jimmy was right. I’m nothing but a worry toad.

Finally I left the principal’s office and went to class.

“You’re late,” Mrs. Bilky said.

“Sorry,” I said, and handed her my pass.

She looked at it, then put it in her roll book.

Gus gave me a really angry look when I got to class. I think he knew what I was doing. When I sat
down, he took my backpack and lifted it. I guess he could tell by the weight that I still had the gun.

He smiled and turned back to Mrs. Bilky.

Mrs. Bilky stood in front of the class showing how light passes through prisms. Like we hadn’t seen that a million times before.

She yelled at me twice for not paying attention.

Later she came by my desk. She apologized and told me she was giving me a referral to a grief counselor.

Some days I go home for lunch, but other days I stay at school so I can work on the computers. On those days I eat lunch at school. Today was my day to work on the computers, but I couldn’t eat the sandwiches I had packed. I didn’t want to take any chances pulling out my sandwiches and having the gun go off.

My stomach grumbled all afternoon.

Kids in the front rows turned around and gave me funny looks.

Finally, Gus handed me some sunflower seeds. It’s really hard to eat sunflower seeds in Mrs. Bilky’s class, but I did that day.

When I got home, the house smelled like freshly baked apple pie.

“Do you want a piece of apple pie?” Mrs. Washington asked.

“Yes, please,” I shouted.

I went upstairs. I took the gun from my backpack and hid it in the bottom of one of Jimmy’s boxes; then I shoved the box under the bed and placed the other box in front of that. I hoped Mom didn’t decide she had to go through Jimmy’s things again.

Then I remembered Detective Howard gave me his card. I had it someplace. I found it in my drawer. I could tell Detective Howard about the gun. I’d tell him I found it in the alley.

I ran downstairs. I was about to pick up the phone when I saw Mina on Mrs. Washington’s lap.

She was crying.

“What’s wrong with Mina?” I asked. I thought she was still upset with me.

“Spider ran away because we’re too sad,” Mina said. “No one pays any attention to him, and he’s lonely and misses Jimmy.”

“He must have jumped the fence in the backyard,” Mrs. Washington said.

“I’ll help you find Spider,” I said.

“What about your pie?” Mrs. Washington asked.

“I’ll eat it when I get back,” I said.

My stomach growled in protest.

I crammed one bite into my mouth. Mina headed for the door.

Mina and I walked up and down the streets. We asked everyone we saw if they had seen a dog that looked like a spider. People laughed until they looked at Mina. Then they got serious and tried to help.

“We’re going to have to go back, Mina,” I said. “It’s getting late.”

“One more block,” Mina said. “Please.”

“Okay,” I said.

We turned down a side street and then another.

Then we were lost.

Now I know how Mina feels when she wanders off and gets lost and why she’s always crying when I find her.

Nighttime was no time to be on the street.

Mina and I walked to the corner. I looked both ways down the street. Traffic crossed at an intersection several blocks away. We walked down there; then I looked both ways again, trying to find a street with more traffic than this one. I knew if I kept following traffic,
sooner or later I would find a street I knew.

I tried to cheer up Mina.

“Spider is probably home by now,” I said. “I bet he’s barking and wondering where you are. I hope he doesn’t jump the fence again and go looking for you.”

She smiled then.

The moon had risen, huge and ivory yellow, by the time we got home.

The backyard was empty. I could feel how disappointed Mina was. I walked up the back steps feeling defeated.

Mom was talking quietly to Mrs. Washington.

“Those boys just came in the backyard and took Spider,” Mrs. Washington said.

“Don’t tell the kids,” Mom said.

I knew something bad had happened to Spider then, but I didn’t want Mina to know. She was still in the backyard thinking Spider would come out and play with the Frisbee she held in her hand.

We ate dinner in silence, me knowing their secret.

They weren’t the only ones with a secret.

I kept thinking about the gun and what I was
going to say to Detective Howard so he would think I found the gun in the alley.

That night I couldn’t sleep. I was in bed, staring at the ceiling and watching the way car lights push shadows across the ceiling.

I guess Mom figured I was asleep, because her crying started again.

When Mom stopped crying, the house was quiet for a long time.

I was drifting off to sleep when I heard footsteps in the hallway.

Someone stood in my doorway.

“Tito.”

I nearly fell out of bed.

“Mina, why are you up?” I said.

“I hear noises in the backyard,” Mina said. “Go see if Spider’s back.”

“You stay here. I don’t want you catching a cold on top of everything else.”

I tucked her into my bed, pulled on my jeans, and carried Jimmy’s sneakers downstairs, then put them on.

The moon colored the backyard an odd icy gray. Shadows looked like huge monsters crouching against the garage and house. It felt too silent
outside, as if everyone had disappeared and I was alone in the world.

I started across the lawn to the doghouse when I heard footsteps coming across the wet grass behind me.

I
turned.

Gus stood behind me holding a can of spray paint. He smiled.

I was still angry with him about the gun.

I glanced at Mrs. Washington’s house, ready to fight if I saw any graffiti on the weathered stucco.

“Relax, man,” Gus said, like he knew what I was thinking. “I came over to see if you wanted to join our tagging party.”

“I already told you I’m not joining any gang.”

Only a summer back we’d camped out in the backyard in a stupid tent we made with blankets. Now he was going one way and I was going another, and it was like we both knew it but didn’t want to say it, so we just stood there in the backyard, knowing this was it.

“I want you to take your gun back, Gus,” I said finally. “Wait here while I go get it.”

“How ’bout just hanging out with me?” Gus said. “Then afterward I’ll take the gun back.”

I thought for a second. “If you don’t do any tagging,” I said.

He nodded.

I did like to spend time with Gus. There was a time when I thought we’d be best friends for life.

“I’ll buy you a hamburger,” Gus said.

“You know a place open now?”

“Big Molly’s Diner,” Gus said. “Come on.”

“Are you sure it’s open?” I asked.

“Would you stop worrying so much?” Gus said. “If it’s closed, we’ll go someplace else.”

He started running down the alley. I tied Jimmy’s shoes tighter and ran after him.

Our footsteps echoed down the empty streets.

Every time I got close enough to run with him, he’d sprint ahead of me.

Finally he turned into the parking lot of Big Molly’s Diner.

I caught up to him. The diner was dark.

Gus looked at me, punched at my hand, and whispered, “Sorry.”

I turned.

There was Spider, tied to the bumper of the blue Oldsmobile.

Lamar and Ice Breaker Joe leaned against the car hood.

I still didn’t recognize the guy sitting in the driver’s seat, but it hit me now who the other guy had been, the one with the baseball cap and bandanna over his face like a bandit.

I’ve never hated anyone as much as I hated Gus right then.

Ice Breaker Joe untied Spider.

“We found your doggie,” Lamar said.

Spider ran to me. He jumped up, his stick legs poking me, and licked my face. Then he stopped and cringed next to my feet, whining.

I guess he sensed my fear.

“
J
ust chill,” Lamar said. “Jimmy was our friend.”

“He wasn’t a gangbanger,” I said.

They laughed, even Gus.

“Jimmy was my ace man,” Lamar said. “He didn’t deserve what happened to him. Now people out looking for
you.
You need us to protect you so they won’t mess with you. You don’t want what happened to Jimmy to happen to you.”

“I can handle my own,” I said.

“Not against another gang,” Lamar said. “You need the protection of your own family.”

“I respect you,” I said. Jimmy told me all gang-banging was about getting respect. I hoped I was showing enough to Lamar. “But I have to support my mother and sister.”

They laughed again.

“How do you think Jimmy was supporting you all?” Lamar said. “Running drugs for me. That’s how he did it. You join up with me, I can give you a good life, too.”

“No, Jimmy wouldn’t,” I said.

“Jimmy did,” Lamar said. “There’s something Jimmy owed me that’s still missing. I want you to find it.”

“Uh-huh,” I said. What was I going to say, no? I didn’t want to get killed right there.

Lamar kept talking, and I kept giving Gus looks like death rays. I couldn’t believe a friend could do this to me.

I guess I was wrong.

He’s not my friend.

Gangbangers don’t really have friends, even though they call each other family.

I took a step back and saw the back of the car.

Red cloth, held with electrical tape, covered the taillight closest to me. I remembered the taillights the night Jimmy was shot. Different colors. One red, one orange. Blurring as the car disappeared into the night.

The truth hit me like a bullet. They had killed Jimmy. Not someone in the black Chevy like Gus
and Lamar wanted me to believe. Why would they kill Jimmy if he was their ace man? Why did they want me to think a rival gang killed Jimmy? Did they want me to think it was the guys in the black Chevy, just so I’d join up with them? That was crazy. Except if what Jimmy had was really important and they needed me to find it for them. But what could Jimmy have had that I wouldn’t know about? I couldn’t stop staring at those taillights.

Lamar put his heavy hand on my neck and squeezed. “What you looking at?”

“
I
was thinking about Jimmy,” I said. “What did Jimmy owe you?”

His hand dropped away.

“Go home to your momma, baby boy,” Lamar said. “If you don’t know what Jimmy owed me, then you’re dumber than you look.”

He made some motion with his hand, and they all got into the car, Gus included.

Gus stepped around me like I wasn’t there anymore.

The car pulled away, and only then did I realize how scared I had been. My palms were wet and I could feel my heart beating in my head.

At home I took Spider into the house. Mina was asleep on the floor under my window. I carried her back to her bed.

Spider jumped up, circled twice, and curled
next to Mina, resting his head against her.

I crawled into my bed, but I knew I wasn’t going to sleep.

They said they weren’t the ones who killed Jimmy. They lied to me, so how could I trust anything they said? Even Gus lied to me. Did Jimmy really sell drugs?

I didn’t think he could have. Jimmy told me it was hopeless if you joined a gang. Rivals did drive-by shootings at your house, and you always lived in fear.

The next day after school, I rode the Metro downtown with Mom. She was going to get Jimmy’s last paycheck. She went into the restaurant and came out with an odd look on her face.

“The man said Jimmy never worked here.”

“Maybe he forgot,” I said.

“I asked the other busboys,” she said. “No one knew him.”

“Maybe Jimmy did belong to a gang,” I said.

But she didn’t want to hear it.

“I went to the wrong restaurant,” Mom said. “I don’t know this city very well.”

“You’re right, Mom,” I said. “It’s probably another restaurant where Jimmy worked.”

I agreed with her even though I didn’t believe it anymore. I didn’t see why I should ruin Mom’s memory of Jimmy.

I leaned back and rested my head next to the window as the Metro banged over the rails. I’d have to figure out something on my own if my family was going to have any kind of future.

I thought about the gun again. There had to be another way. Lamar was right about one thing. I didn’t want to end up like Jimmy.

I opened my eyes and looked at Mom. She was staring straight ahead. She didn’t need another funeral either.

When we got home, Mom and Mrs. Washington cooked dinner. Mrs. Washington made a carrot salad, and Mom scrambled cheese into eggs and made hot biscuits filled with sliced bananas and topped with mayonnaise.

I ate too much and then got mad at myself for thinking about food when there was so much else going on.

I sat on my bed wearing Jimmy’s baseball glove and throwing his baseball into the pocket.

Maybe I could give those gangbangers exactly what they wanted.

I took my shower and got ready for bed. I didn’t want to fall asleep, but it was really hard not to.

I woke up hours later. I dressed, put on Jimmy’s shoes, and searched in the boxes for Jimmy’s flashlight. Then I went outside and climbed the fence into my old backyard.

Jimmy had told me about a crawl space under the house once.

I moved a board behind the pink hibiscus bush and shone the flashlight into the space under the house.

Spiderwebs and rusted pipes filled the gloom. There was room to move inside and crawl around.

I knew if Jimmy had hidden anything, this was the only place he could have hidden it from Mom. She was always vacuuming under beds and moving mattresses and cleaning our closets.

I crawled in. Spiderwebs covered my face. I held my breath and spit, then brushed the webs away. It smelled wet and gross under the house.

I crawled on my belly about three feet; then I heard a car pull up outside.

Car doors opened.

I turned off the flashlight. It was pitch-black under the house.

I didn’t have enough time to go back to Mrs. Washington’s house. I stayed there and hoped the gangbangers, if they were gangbangers, didn’t know about the crawl space.

Soon I heard footsteps on the floor above me, then loud creaking noises as if they were prying wallboards away with crowbars. Maybe they thought Jimmy had hidden whatever it was in the walls.

I waited for what seemed like hours.

Finally footsteps pounded toward the front door. The house got quiet. Car doors opened and closed. A car pulled away. Silence followed.

I waited five minutes before I turned on my flashlight.

In the beam of light I saw a suitcase. I crawled over and opened it. Stacks of money filled the suitcase.

There was a note to me on top.

Tito,

Well little brother, if you’re reading this, I guess you’ve been to my funeral.

Probably my homies found out I was skimming cash and laid me down, but who knows? I didn’t lie
when I told you gangsters are either dead or going to be.

Banging was fun at first when I was kicking back with my homies. But then it seemed like all we did was go to funerals and cause more. I thought if I could get enough money, I could take you and Mina and Mom someplace safe. Sorry I didn’t get you there.

But you can get there, Tito. Be strong. Use the money. Make your life sing.

Jimmy

I couldn’t help it. I started crying. I cried really hard for Jimmy.

I took the note and closed the suitcase.

I crawled back outside, feeling dusty and covered with spiders. I started to walk back to the house when I heard someone behind me.

Before I could turn, someone knocked me to the ground.