Drive Me Sane (17 page)

“Yeah.” Tyler nodded. “Just give me a minute.”

Suddenly Tyler looked as tired as he did weeks ago. Lines marked his face. The newly bronze color of his skin had taken on an ashy haze. “Are you okay?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“If you don’t feel like going we don’t have to.”

He stood, tucking in his shirt. “I’m all right.”

He didn’t look all right, though. His posture was stiff, his jaw set, and there wasn’t an ounce of warmth radiating from his eyes. Thinking that maybe he was just as anxious about what the morning would bring, she decided not to push. “Okay, I’ll be in the living room when you’re ready.”

His mood didn’t change during the drive to Lexington. In fact, he grew even more dire the more time passed. She tried bringing him into conversation about the tour, hoping the topic would rile him up and get him excited about the event, but he deflected the subject each time. Halfway there, she was ready to turn around and go back home. The prickly air had her thinking that finding a car when she still refused to drive did seem silly. It wasn’t like she could take it home if she found one she liked, but today wasn’t about buying a car. It was a step forward, a step she wanted to take, and she wanted Tyler there for it. But when Johnny Cash rang out for the third time since they left the house, Tyler turned his phone face down on the seat. She knew the icy manner was a result of him having other places he wanted or needed to be.

• • •

Tyler stopped at the first Ford dealership he saw. Meeting Sera on the passenger side, he glanced over the lot and pointed to a row of midsize cars. “Those over there look good. Why don’t you start? I’ll catch up with you. I need to make a call real quick.”

“Sure.”

He waited for her to walk away, then hit Bradley’s number. He’d called three times in the span of an hour. It was either really good news or very bad.

He held the phone to his ear. Bradley never said hello when he answered.

“There’s no option to postpone. If you pull out, you’re done.”

Leaning back against the truck for support, Tyler rubbed at his temples, trying to ease the sudden pounding in his head.

“Did you tell them that I had some personal things going on?”

“They don’t care. They said they have too much money tied up in this already. We’re at the last damn minute, Tyler. What did you expect?”

He had no words. He didn’t know what he expected.

Bradley continued. “Rob Marshall himself said your ass had better be back in Nashville on Tuesday for the radio interview with WTEN.”

So it had already gone straight up to the president of the company. His stomach knotted further. “And if I’m not?”

“Tyler, don’t push this. You’re a liability to them at this point. Tickets are sold, merchandise is on its way. Salaries have been paid. That’s not even considering all the other things that went into making this tour happen. It takes a lot of money to pull something of this caliber off.”

He exhaled sharply. “I know.”

“You got the real deal here, man. A headlining tour. Do you know how long it takes most artists to get that?”

He did—years, sometimes more than a decade. Nashville had only been his home for almost four years. “I do.”

“I don’t think you do. You’re willing to walk away from it.”

“I’m not asking to postpone indefinitely. I just need a couple of months.” Sera was getting better every day. In two months, he was sure she’d be out tearing up the roads of Cobb City in her new car. If not, maybe by then he’d be able to at least convince her to come with him.

“They’ve already said no. It’s now or never.”

“Never as in what, exactly?”

“As in your contract will be canceled. Rob hadn’t spoken with anyone in the legal department to know if they would file breach of contract yet. Like me, this was thrown at him quickly.”

Again, Tyler was lost for words as the comprehension of what his decision might cost sank in. His head now felt like it was going to explode.

“Think about the fans you’ll lose,” Bradley continued. “What’s it going to be like to go back to playing some two-bit honky-tonk as you try to work your way back up to the top again? Trust me. Once you fall it’s hard to get back up. Tyler, think about this. Think about it hard. This is your career you’re playing with.”

He had done nothing but think about it all day. He didn’t see any other option, though. “I can’t do it. I’m sorry.”

Bradley sighed. “You’re putting me in a lousy position here. As your manager, it’s my job to tell you when you’re making poor decisions and right now you’re making a terrible mistake. Not only for yourself, but for the band and myself. Have you considered how selfish this is? You aren’t just screwing this up for you. The guys are a part of Tyler Creech. They’re going to go down with you. Not to mention how poorly this will reflect on me. I’m not at all happy about my reputation being tarnished just because you don’t want to leave your girlfriend.”

Tyler ground his teeth together. Sera’s situation was more than that, but Bradley was doing a fine job of making him feel guilty.

“I don’t get this, Tyler. We’ve worked hard to get here and now you’re tossing it away. You’re not the only one who’s busted his ass the last few years. We all have.”

Tyler swallowed back more guilt. His lack of response allowed Bradley to continue.

“You need to get your head on straight and quit dicking around. You have until the morning to figure this out. I’m supposed to call Rob back by then and I’m sure if I don’t have good news, he’ll have an answer from their attorney.” With that, the line went dead.

Pressing his hands to his temple in an attempt to combat the throbbing, Tyler took in a deep breath. The choice he’d made a few days ago seemed easy. Now, knowing either way he went he could possibly lose something he loved, it didn’t seem fair.

Sera was standing next to an older aged salesman when Tyler found her. The glare she shot him revealed her annoyance. He didn’t want to add her to the list of problems he had, but it seemed inevitable with the way the day was going. Trying to deflect both of their moods back to what they had come for, he asked, “Find anything?”

“I think she’s interested in this little blue thing here.” The salesman flashed Tyler a mouth full of white and pointed to Ford Focus behind them.

“I thought you were looking at those SUVs over there?” He threw his head in the direction he’d first sent her.

“No,” she said sharply. “You wanted me to look at those.”

Sensing her temper, he put aside his uncertainties for the safety of the small car, willing to appease her for the moment. “I thought you’d want something a little bigger. This is nice too.” He bent down, peering in the window. Walking around to the backside, he gave it a once-over.

“Want to take it for a test drive?” the eager salesman suggested.

“No,” Sera spit out.

“Let us look inside,” Tyler said, before opening the driver side door. The new car scent smacked his nostrils. “Looks nice.” Stepping back, he waved his hand for Sera to get in. “See what you think.”

“That’s all right.” She shook her head.

Rubbing her upper arm, he whispered, “You don’t have to drive. Just sit in it. See what it feels like.”

He held his breath as she stepped forward, then unsteadily climbed in. Concentrating on the way her cheeks crumpled with unease, he cursed when a vibration had him pulling his phone out of his pocket. Seeing it was Mark, his lead guitarist, he held up a finger to Sera indicating he’d only be a minute. Already answering as he turned his back, he told Mark it wasn’t a good time and that he’d call him back. Turning back around, he bent down to eye level with Sera.

“You okay?”

She shook her head, breathing in deep. Her hands wound tightly around the steering wheel, the anxiety of her condition plastered all across her face. He was proud of her. Simply sitting inside was a huge accomplishment, yet he didn’t want to make a big deal and bring attention to her fears. He was looking at the radio on the console when his phone buzzed again. He ignored it, letting the music play to voicemail.

Glancing over into the backseat, he commented, “I like it.” Another buzz; the caller was persistent. “Do you want me to take it for a drive?” The buzzing came again.

“Aren’t you going to get that?” she asked with disdain.

If he didn’t, it would just keep ringing. “I’m sorry. Give me a few more minutes.”

“Hey,” Tyler answered, moving a couple of cars over, so he could have some privacy.

“What the hell’s going on in Redneckville?”

His friend and drummer Jayson took every available opportunity to rile him about his upbringing. Tyler called him a city slicker every chance he got. “Man, you don’t even want to know.”

“Yeah, I think I do. Brad called. Said you were pulling out on us. Please don’t tell me this has something to do with a woman.”

Tyler cringed as he admitted, “It’s Sera.”

“Oh … oh! Sera. You mean army chick Sera?”

“Yeah. She’s out of the army, though.”

“So what’s going on? You two getting back together or what?”

“Something like that,” he answered. Although they hadn’t specifically addressed what they were doing, he had no doubt he and Sera had a future together. That was, if he could get through the day without royally pissing her off.

“What’s the problem, then? Bring her along.”

“It’s not that easy. She’s got some things going on right now.”

“Man, I don’t know what to tell you. I get that you love her and have for a long time. But now is not the time to let a woman drive you crazy.”

His head dropped. His lungs heaved in a deep breath.
Too late for that. She’d been doing it for years.

“Ty, listen. You know whatever you decide I’ll have your back, but this is a pretty big deal. Mark’s called and so has Levi. They aren’t happy about this. I have to say, I’m not crazy about it either. It’s kind of messed up. This was our big break. Not to mention the money we’ll lose. What could be so important that you’d throw all of that away?

Tyler closed his eyes when he said, “She has PTSD.” Even now, he hated the thought of it.

• • •

Stretching her hands out until the tingling sensation stopped, Sera resumed her hold on the steering wheel. The hard plastic curled underneath her fingers was both terrifying and exciting at the same time. The thrill of being in the driver seat wasn’t something she’d expected. It was her own stubbornness that kept her from driving. Not a fear or threat that she might do something wrong. She could drive. She knew that. It was like a bicycle. Once you learned, the foundation never left. Her worry was that, like the train, every time she was behind the wheel she might float back to that sun-filled day. She would do anything to keep that day from taking over her head—anything.

Her heart pattered a little dance. The urge to cry was prominent, but it was tears of joy. She wasn’t thinking about Afghanistan. She was happy, except not so much with Tyler. His mood and his lack of interest in the progress she’d just made irritated the hell out of her.

Giving the car another look, she got out and thanked the salesman for his time, informing him she was interested, just not today. Then, taking in a small circle of the lot, she saw Tyler positioned between two cars. His wide shoulders snapped back tight and high as he raked a hand through his hair repeatedly. What he was suddenly so stressed about, she didn’t know. The idea of it being solely about leaving didn’t seem right with all the calls of the day, though.

She smoothed her hands against her jeans and took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. He was headlining a major tour in three days and she was sulking because he wasn’t paying attention to her.
Nice, Sera.

Tyler
didn’t say much on the way home. Then again, it was hard to have a conversation when his phone rang every few minutes. He never took the calls. He either rejected them or he let it ring until his voicemail picked up. After about the eighth or ninth time, he turned the phone off completely. Seeing his obvious distress, Sera wished the people
who dictated his life would leave him alone so that they could enjoy their last evening together. But between the silence and constant interruptions it didn’t seem possible.

By the time they were almost home, she needed to find an end to the discomfort, afraid if she didn’t, the day would finish out just like the afternoon had gone: quiet and unsettling. She couldn’t go through the next few hours like that. She needed some kind of reassurance that they’d be all right once he left, so she asked him to stop when they came to the railroad crossing.

Tyler darted a rough glare. “Not tonight. I can’t do this tonight.”

She wasn’t sure what he meant. All she wanted was to talk, but then, realizing where they were, that he probably thought she wanted to wait for a train. “I just want to talk.”

“We can talk at home.”

The forceful way
talk at home
came out was a loud and clear message that he had something to say too and that she likely didn’t want to hear what it was.

Craziness filled her head with all sorts of ideas drumming up. Was she just a fling? Did he ever have intentions for them to have a future together? If not, then what was all the talk about her going with him? Her hands began to shake, her stomach churned, and her pulse flew away. Once more, she was completely confused and questioned her judgment. Something hadn’t been right all day. She’d wanted to believe it was, though, and had written it off as a part of the hectic life Tyler led.

Pressure built behind her lids. The dam was ready to burst. She wanted to let it go, to bury her hands in her face and bawl her eyes out, but he’d seen enough of her tears the last three weeks. She wasn’t giving him the privilege of seeing any more.

Tyler pulled to a stop in front of Roy’s. Turning off the engine, neither he nor Sera got out. His distance that day had drawn a wedge between them again and as unintentional as it was, he couldn’t help it. Between the calls from his band and another one from Bradley, his nerves were fried. Jayson, although not happy about it, understood. No one else did. The abundance of text messages he’d received in response to his ignored calls let him know how they felt. The only thing they understood was that he was stomping out their biggest break as a group and he’d made the decision without consulting them first. He realized how unfair it was now. The band might carry his name, but there were five other men who contributed. As it stood, his recording contract wasn’t the only thing he might lose. If he didn’t board the bus on Wednesday, he might very well lose some damn good musicians too.