Drop of Doubt (12 page)

––––––––

S
ang: Yes. Silas?

––––––––

I
blinked at the message. Should I tell him who’s texting?

“What’s wrong?” Silas asked. I showed him the phone. His eyebrows shot up. “He knows you’re with me so he’s checking which one has the phone since you sent something that sounded like me for you. Tell him I’m driving but you’re texting but don’t tell him who you are.”

Silas: He’s driving. I just wanted to make it sound like I was him.

Sang: I was going to get after him for texting and driving. This is Sang, right? You didn’t pick anyone else up, did you?

I showed Silas the message and he nodded. “I guess it’s okay to be yourself. He needs to make sure you are who you say you are, too.”

Silas: It’s Sang. So messages are coming through?

––––––––

T
here was a longer wait this time but a reply returned.

––––––––

S
ang: Yes. Where are you going?

Silas: There’s a road going outside of Charleston. I’m not exactly sure the name.

Sang: You’re okay?

Silas: Yes.

Sang: Will you stop and wait for me?

Silas: You mean stop the car?

Sang: Yes. I’m coming to you. Wait there. Leave the phone on. I’ll find you.

Why would he have us drive out this far and then tell us to stop? He was warning us not to stay still before. How was he going to get to us? Where would he get another car? “Silas?” I picked up the phone to show him the screen. “He wants us to stop.”

His head tilted, glancing at what Victor had written. “He’s probably got some crazy computer phone hacking plan.”

Silas didn’t seem surprised that Victor could get to us without a car. Did Victor have another one? How would he get to it when his house was a few miles away from the university where we’d dropped him off? I wanted to ask, but Silas didn’t seem to question it, so I assumed I shouldn’t either.

It was another half mile before there was the start of a farm road. Silas pulled into it, turned the car around until it was parked on the grass off the side of the road, underneath a large live oak tree.

Silas cut the engine. The night chill started to seep in. In front of us was the road we’d come from, nothing around us but farm fields. We had a clear view of the oncoming road. If Victor drove by, he could see us.

Silas sat back, unbuckling his seat belt and heaving a sigh. “Good thing we’re not going to school tomorrow.”

“You’ll miss football practice.”

“Not really worried about my football career right now. Or ever.” He held a hand out, palm up toward me. I dropped my hand into his again and he curled his fingers around my palm. “Victor was telling me what you said you wanted for your birthday.”

With the dashboard lights out, now it was just a half moon glowing into the car. I stared at his shape, his eyes were just outlines to me now in the dark. “You mean like a birthday card?” I asked, just to be amusing because that was one of the things I’d asked them for.

“That you just wanted to go out.”

I nodded. “I really can’t think of anything I want that’s a thing to buy. I’d rather just hang out. Let’s do something you like to do.”

He squeezed my hand softly once. “I’d take you to a baseball game like I promised, but the next one is the World Series, and we’re kind of busy right now.”

I perked up. I didn’t know where the World Series was being held, but was school the only reason we couldn’t go? Or because we were dealing with the phone stalker? “Maybe we can watch it on television. I haven’t been able to catch up on the season.”

“The Red Sox aren’t playing,” he said, as if warning I might be disappointed that our favorite team wasn’t going to be at the game.

“Were you going to watch it?”

“Probably.”

“Let’s do that.”

He was quiet for a moment. I thought he was smiling but it was hard to tell in the dark. He released my hand, and clutched at the console in the middle. He lifted it, putting the seat up. He held his arms out to me. “Come here.”

He pushed a button below the seat to have it move back. I thought maybe he wanted me to sit next to him, but as I started to scoot over into the middle, his hands found my hips. He pulled me into his lap until my back was against the driver’s side door. He kept his arm against the door, providing a cushion for my back. I drew my feet in until my heels were pressed up against his thigh.

He dropped his free hand on my knee, warming.

He sat back again with a sigh, settling further into the seat and resting his head back. “Or we could just do this. I’m good with this.”

I leaned against his chest, finding it a muscled cushion. “You’re not going to get bored, are you?”

He chuckled. He drew quiet. Curled up into him, I started gazing out the far passenger side window. If I focused, I could make out a few details of the cotton field and the road. While there was a slight chill, sitting in his lap was warm enough. His body produced an amazing amount of heat.

“Sang?”

“Yes, Silas?”

He drummed his fingers on my knee. “Why’d the monkey fall out of the tree?”

I cracked a smile. “Don’t know.”

“Because it was dead.”

I giggled against his chest.

“That’s not good enough,” he said. He shifted underneath me. “That’s not a laugh. Why did the chicken cross the road?”

I knew the obvious, but expected something just as absurd as his first joke. “Don’t know.”

“To get to the other side,” he said in a voice that was about as serious as him asking me what the homework was for class.

I snickered, giggled louder and clutched at his shirt. Maybe his jokes were really lame and obvious but it was the way he said them that made it funny.

His fingers slid across my knee cap, dropping until he curled them underneath my thigh at the soft spot under my knee. He traced his fingertips across my skin. “We’re getting there,” he said as he tickled.

I choked out a short laugh, trying to smack his arm gently to get him to stop. “Silas.”

“I just want to hear you laugh.” His hand drifted over and dropped onto my stomach. His fingers sought out my side.

I inhaled sharply, not expecting the touch. They’d all gripped me from nearly head to toe, including around my waist and my stomach, but his fingers spilled out across my lower abdomen. As the tips traced below my belly button, sparks shot out through me, electrifying my skin in a completely different way than I was expecting.

“Hello,” he said. His fingers slid from my side and back to my belly button. “What’s this?” I thought he was suggesting he found a soft, more sensitive place to tickle, and I had stopped giggling to hide it. He curled his fingers there, stroking. Through my shirt, his fingers were warm, but the same sparks extended through me, reaching over every surface until a gentle tremble came over me.

My eyes shut on their own. My hands shot out, gripping his arm but not directing. The feeling was surprising. It reminded me of how I felt when Nathan had started biting my fingers, or when Kota nuzzled at my neck—only the feeling was so strong and I couldn’t hide it. My breath escaped me in a soft moan.

“Sang,” he breathed out, slowing his fingers.

I buried my face into his chest, embarrassed and unable to respond.

His breath fell heavy against my hair. His fingers stopped and he pressed his palm against my abdomen. It was soothing but his palm against the area still left me feeling warm and tingly. “I didn’t know,” he whispered. Was he apologizing?

I released his arm, not realizing I’d been hanging on to it still. “Silas,” I whispered. I clutched at his shirt again.

His hands shifted to my side and he sat up more in his seat. He released me and his palm found my cheek. “I have to tell you something.”

“What?”

His finger tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, but the strand fell back into my face. “Do you remember the party? When you and North were in that closet?”

As if I could forget. “Yes.”

“I think about it. Sometimes I wish I’d been in there with you.”

The meaning around his words hung in the air over us. “You’re here with me now,” I said in a soft voice.

His fingers stayed at the spot behind my ear. “I’m not sure I should be here with you like this.”

“Why not?”

He sucked in a sharp breath. He shifted underneath me again. His arm behind me held me up. He turned me toward him. His face was cast with a silvery glow of the low moon shining through the windshield. His eyes bore down into my face. His thick lips parted, moving slightly as if he’d wanted to say something but the words weren’t forming. He swallowed hard. His eyes zeroing in on my face. “Say it, Sang,” he commanded.

“Hm?” I mumbled, unsure.

“I can see it in your eyes,” he said. He kept a hand on my hip, holding me down in his lap. My back was against the steering wheel. His other hand drifted up, his palm warming my face again, but holding me in a way that forced me to look at him. “I can’t stand it. You want something. Tell me.”

“Silas?” I had no idea what I wanted.

He grunted. His fingers clutched tighter at my head as he lowered his face closer to mine. His breath teased my cheek. “Show me what it was like in that closet.” I was gripping at the undershirt on his chest to hold my balance against him. He released my face to find one of my hands and he brought it up until my fingers covered his lips. “Was it like this?” he asked through my fingers.

I started to nod.

“Tell me,
aggele mou
,” he pleaded under his breath. His eyes swallowed me up, bearing down on me. “Please. Anything. Did you tell him to kiss you like this?”

My heart thundered against my eardrums. “The others outside were egging us on,” I whispered, wondering if he even heard me. “He didn’t want to at first. But I put my fingers on his mouth.” I swallowed, holding back a warm shiver as his eyes never left mine. “I—.”

“Show me.”

I trembled now, unsure. My fingers pressed against his mouth, and he remained still, but his eyes were everywhere, begging me to do what he asked. I knew I was blushing, feeling awkward. It was like trying to hit Kota when he wasn’t hitting me back during training. Compared to North in the closet when I felt pressured to do it, here with nothing to egg me on except Silas and his eyes that were consuming me.

I counted off from three in my head to fake some courage and get myself to do it.

I leaned up, lifting to hover in his lap so I could reach my fingers at his mouth. My eyes closed. I touched my own fingers with my lips, pressing.

His lips below my fingers puckered. Silas kissed my fingertips. His mouth parted slightly, wetting my skin.

I remained still for a moment, and slowly started to back off. I was surprised to find myself breathing heavily as if I’d been running.

Silas’s eyes opened into narrow slits. “
Aggele mou
. He had you against the wall.”

I nodded slowly. I couldn’t find my voice. My throat was thick.

Silas leaned forward. He held me at the hip still, holding on to me while his other hand found my neck, cupping it in a gentle embrace. He pushed me slightly until my back was against the steering wheel.

I drew my hand back, dropping the tips of my fingers against my lips, like I’d done with North.

Silas lowered his head. His eyes closed. His lips met my fingers. With his hand at my neck, he held me in place firmly. He pressed his lips harder against my fingers.

The sparks returned, shooting from his lips, through my fingers and down into my chest, zeroing in on my thudding heart. I trembled under his touch. I wasn’t sure how to respond. The best I could do was hold my fingers up between us.

And, not for the first time, I wanted to let go and not have that barrier.

His lips parted again, and his mouth moved against my knuckles.

The hand at my hip slid over. His thumb stretched out until he rubbed at a spot just below my belly button.

I gasped against my fingers. I was losing it. My nose filled with his ocean scent. His warm fingers on my body were luring me to surrender. His kiss made silent promises.

Silas grasped at the side of my neck, massaging. He held me strongly before breaking the kiss, pulling back only a fraction of an inch. His dark eyes peered down at me, half closed.

His fingers traced again across my lower belly as he whispered.
“Aggele mou, makári na boroúsa na se filí̱so̱.”

“Silas,” I mumbled.

But before I could ask what he’d said, his hand at my neck released me, and he took my hand from my mouth. He held it in his, drawing it away, until there wasn’t anything left between us except our mingling breaths.

He leaned in, his head tilted. His lips hovered over mine.

I sucked in a breath. My mind wanted to think of what this meant, but my heart had taken over and wouldn’t allow me to find an excuse to stop it or worry about what it meant. Silas was there in front of me. I cared about him. If he was going to be my first kiss, and this was how it happened, I wouldn’t be sorry.

But he didn’t move. He remained still, hovering, waiting, as if trying to decide.

He was so close. I wasn’t sure what to do. If I moved forward, it would be like I was kissing him first. Was that how it was going to happen? Did he stop because he wasn’t sure he wanted to?

I eased back a little, wanting to look up at him just in case something was wrong.

My back met with the steering wheel. The horn blared, loud and nearly echoing in what had been so silent a space a moment ago. The sudden blaring startled me so badly, I jumped forward, knocking my forehead into his nose.

“Ow.” Silas backed up, releasing my hand to cup his nose. “Shit.”

“Sorry!” I reached toward his face, wanting to do something to make it better or take it back. I stopped short, not wanting to touch him in case it hurt and I made it worse. “Sorry. I never said I was graceful.”

His eyes lit up, his lips twisted into a slow smile that spread into a grin. He started chuckling.

That set me off. I felt horrible, but the face he was making made me break out laughing. I jammed my fingers over my mouth to cover it. My shoulders shook as a wave of laughter threatened to steal my breath.