Drowning Tucson (45 page)

The most important thing was that she wasn’t starving, and fucking men in cars, in alleys, in parks, and the many other places they picked, well, that hardly bothered her at all. They scratched her itch too. It was a fair trade-off.

That was until one afternoon in Park Mall when, though she hadn’t been there all week, someone realized that Rainbow was there to pick up men. Security was on to her, and they were waiting for her to reappear so they could ban her from the mall, plus call the cops to teach the whore a lesson.

Rainbow had no idea until she emerged from the bathroom and ran into the chest of a police officer blocking the doorway with his arms crossed. Mall security guards flanked him, sneering when he ordered Rainbow to come with him, I’ve got a few questions for you. She glared at the security guards, both of whom she’d seen many times, and flipped them off, following Officer Loudermilk out to his cruiser, where he opened the back door and motioned her inside, then got in the front and rattled some codes over his CB, then spoke to her in the rearview mirror, asking what is it, exactly, young lady, that you’re doing here in the mall? Security tells me you’ve been spotted leaving with different men on several occasions.

Rainbow shrugged, trying to look cool, but her hands were shaking in her lap and her heart was beating faster, adrenaline coursing through her body. She looked away from the mirror, but Loudermilk kept talking.

You’ve got some options. You can admit to what you’re doing and I can take you in and book you, or you can make it easier on yourself by taking a little ride with me.

She looked back up to the mirror, but couldn’t see his eyes because he’d put on sunglasses. What’s one more guy? she thought. What’s a freebie if it keeps me out of jail? She knew the last place she wanted to go was jail, and she didn’t want to have to explain it to Brightstar, so she relented. Let’s take a drive, Rainbow said, settling into the leather seat and leaning her head back to stare out the rear window at the puffy white clouds passing overhead.

The car shifted into gear and Loudermilk crept out of the parking lot. He drove east, past the air force base and out into the desert, pulling off the road and spraying dust into the air. Once they were out of view from the road, he stopped the car and got out. He opened the door and pulled Rainbow out of the car, threw her up against the trunk, her back to him, and cuffed her hands. Even though Rainbow was scared, she rejected the idea of screaming for help, because she knew it would only make things worse. Instead she cooed oh you’re a bad cop, aren’t you? turning to look at him as he took off his belt and laid it on the ground, then unfastened his slacks and pulled them down to his knees. It looked to her as though he liked her taunting, so she continued, with more confidence, cmon officer, make me pay. Make me sorry for being such a bad girl.

He pushed her head down onto the trunk and lifted her skirt, and Rainbow winced at the heat coming from the metal. It burned her forehead but took her mind off the man grunting and gasping behind her. The wind picked up and blew dust in her face and her knees were bruising as they pounded up against the bumper—and she let Loudermilk fuck her as hard as he could, even told him harder, officer, you have to teach me a lesson, and he thrust at her harder, pulled on her bound wrists with one hand and wrapped the other one around her throat, squeezing harder with each thrust, until she couldn’t breathe, her throat tickled as it closed up, and her vision went black and right when she actually thought he’s going to kill me out here in the desert, he’s going to choke me to death and leave my body to the coyotes and rattlesnakes
and scorpions and tarantulas, why did I come with him? then he was finished and released her throat and she gasped for air, breathing in the sweet, sweet dusty desert air while Loudermilk collapsed on her, his legs shaky, resting his sweaty head on her back while she lay splayed out on the car, covered in dust and sweat and bruises, trying to catch her breath.

Then the handcuffs came off and he reached down to get his belt and for the briefest moment Rainbow thought I should just kick him right in the face while he’s down there, take his gun and shoot him. Just unload the gun on him, bullet by bullet, while he lays in the dirt begging me to stop. I can leave him for dead. Give him a taste of his own medicine.

She got back into the car and lay down across the backseat, hugging her knees to her chest while she waited for Loudermilk to get back in and drive her home.

Man, you fuck like a CHAMP. Where’d you learn to take it like that? Who taught you those moves?

She wanted to say my grandfather, but decided otherwise. Instead Rainbow said thought you’d like to know, you just fucked a fifteen-year-old girl. How’d you like it?

She didn’t expect him to laugh, but he did. He sat in the front seat of the cruiser, his face in front of the air-conditioning, and laughed and said you’ve GOT to be shittin me. Fifteen? You fuck like a grownass woman. I know just the place for you. Fifteen. I’ll be godfuckindamned. The boys wouldn’t believe me if I told em.

The entire ride back into the city he kept chuckling and saying fifteen. Sweet piece of fifteen-year-old ass. He flipped on his cherries and sped down the road back into Tucson, swerving past drivers who slowed down instead of pulling out of the way, turning onto I-10 and cutting a quick path through the city, then taking the Stone Avenue exit, where he finally turned off his lights and slowed down. Once he stopped the car he got out and opened the back door again, pulling Rainbow out and around to the front of the car, where they leaned side by side against the hood. He pointed at a rundown motel. It looked abandoned. But its sign said Mountain Top Motel—Vacancy, and it was lit, so she figured it was still in business.

Now this here’s Miracle Mile. You ever heard of it? She shook her head, cringing at the way he was touching her, his hand wandering beneath her halter top, smoothing her skin, lingering on a mole on her right shoulder. What’s your name, by the way? She told him. He laughed again. Rainbow, that’s fuckin choice. I couldn’t have picked a better name for you myself. Fresh as a goddam rainbow’s exactly what you are. Little pot of gold is
exactly
what you’ve got down there, little girl, pinching her ass.

Well, here’s what I’d do if I were you. He rubbed the mole in tiny circles with his thumb. I’d come work this strip, because anyone who knows anything comes here for tail at the end of the night. Right now it’s dead, but in a few hours it’ll be crawling with girls just like you—not nearly as hot, honey, don’t you worry, you’ll be a hit—and guys with money to spend. That mall shit you’re doing is just small-time. You want the real deal, you gotta come here.

Rainbow wondered what the real deal meant. Would it mean she’d finally get a place to live? Would it mean she could sleep in an actual bed again, with electricity and a swamp cooler and a shower?

The problem is, you’re fifteen. But that’s actually more of a benefit. So here’s how it’s gonna work, Rainbow. He chuckled again. That name’s fuckin great. I mean it. I’m not blowin you shit so don’t get all uppity. He took off his shades and turned her face toward his. I’m serious. So what you’re gonna do is work out here at night. You’ll be solo. And there will be undercover cops. But I’m gonna let em know who you are, so you’ll be taken care of. Only thing is anytime we want a piece, you’re gonna drop everything and take care of us. Okay? I’ll tell em what you look like, and we’ll make sure you stay out of trouble. We can’t go puttin a sexy little thing like you in jail with all them wetbacks and niggers. You’re a free spirit, aintcha? Yep. You’re gonna be just fine. Fifteen. Jesusfuckinchrist. That’s too much.

Rainbow nodded and said okay. It sounded like a good deal to her. Nothing to worry about. Cops to protect her. Real money. Yeah. Things were getting better. And as gross as his compliments were, she kind of liked it when he told her she fucked like a grownass woman. She liked it when he promised to take care of her.

Rainbow gave up on malls altogether after Loudermilk took her to Miracle Mile. She returned to the tunnel and gathered her belongings, which by now included three cute tops and a pair of short-shorts. Plus the original outfit Brightstar had stolen for her.

Waiting on Brightstar to arrive, she glanced around the tunnel and felt guilty for leaving him here. But what else could she do? He couldn’t take care of her forever, and she’d never make any real money sneaking around malls to pick up men. No, this was definitely the right thing to do. She waited and waited for him to return, frightened each time she heard a noise that could be him because she still hadn’t figured out how to explain her situation.

It wasn’t as hard as she thought. He seemed surprised when he arrived at their spot halfway down the tunnel to find Rainbow with her clothing folded neatly on her lap, staring at the walls, which were lit by a solitary candle beside her.

It was as if he’d known all along what she had been doing for money, because when she finally broke down and told him she was going to try her luck on Miracle Mile for a while, you know, I’ve got people who are going to help me and watch my back and everything, he simply nodded and told her well, I guess my work is done. I’ve done the best I could. You’re still alive. You didn’t starve to death. No one hurt you. Can’t say I blame you for taking whatever you can get.

But she sensed the melancholy tone of his words and reached out for him, the two of them hugging, rocking back and forth, holding each other for some time until finally Brightstar broke their embrace and said I was thinking about going up to Phoenix anyway. The VA pricks here just won’t budge. If I head to the source, maybe I can make some headway. I just can’t stay here, waiting the rest of my life for some asshole to show me mercy. Rainbow nodded, happy Brightstar was finally fed up and ready to take action. She wanted to tell him she was going to miss him. She wanted to let him know how much it meant to her that he took better care of her than her own mother had. She wanted to let him know how greatly she appreciated feeling safe.
How she was scared she wasn’t going to be safe without him. But there was no way to tell him without getting all sappy and weepy, so she just kissed his forehead, said thank you, Brightstar, and walked out of the tunnels and toward her new life.

Rainbow never saw Brightstar again, but even all these years later she often wondered where he’d gone, whether he’d had any success in Phoenix, or if he was slowly making his way across the country, hopping trains and begging for change at busy intersections until he ended up at his final destination, VA headquarters in DC.

On Miracle Mile Loudermilk had kept his promise. Not only did he visit her frequently, but he also sent other members of the TPD who were eager to get some action from the newest hooker on the Mile. A fifteen-year-old badass free for the taking. None of them could resist. She wished she could charge the bastards, since it seemed she was servicing them far more than real Johns, but they never busted her, just as Loudermilk promised. And most of the time she felt safe on the Mile because cops were always present, whether in plain clothes or leaning against their squad cars in the liquor store parking lot, eyeballing the drunk men cruising for ass and obviously hoping one of them would get out of line so they could get in a little nightstick practice.

At the beginning it was kind of nice being the new girl on the strip. Word got out pretty quickly among the regulars, and everyone who worked the strip—whether bartenders or bouncers or strip club managers or the men who pimped some of the hookers, even one or two hookers themselves—wanted to try out Rainbow. Her age and her police protection gave her an allure that was simply too hard to pass up, and so her first few months were a whirlwind of clients, handfuls of cash, and one or two visits to the free clinic to get treated for itching or rashes or smelly discharge. But overall it was about what she expected, though she was often sore. However, when she closed the hotel door on her final john of the evening, she dug her cash out from under the flimsy mattress and laid it out on the bed, one bill at a time, savoring the sight of so many bills lying neatly in rows on the threadbare comforter.