Duality: Vol 1, Melancholia (A New Adult Paranormal Romance) (33 page)

“Sure,” he said, pulling his arm away.

I shook my head, ignoring his comment and hurtful detachment from my touch.  I had to get him to understand.  “When you came walking up to the porch, he dropped out of Rainbowland and came back to reality, and he wasn’t affected by me anymore at all.  Don’t you see?”

“No.  Sorry.”  He shook his head, not meeting my eyes anymore.

“You erase my effects.  You balance me out.  Together, when you and I are near each other, we can be
normal
.”

Malcolm looked at me again and we stared at each other for a really long time.  The room was totally silent.  Even Kootch wasn’t saying anything.

Tears filled my eyes as my heart swelled in my chest.  This was the first time in my entire existence that I’d glimpsed the possibility of a normal life, of being a regular teenager who could just come home and argue with her parents and get a hug from them without worrying about them getting deranged over it. 
I can have friends!  I can join clubs!  I can … I can… do anything!

Malcolm broke his gaze away from mine, his face going dark again as he stared off into the distance.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, my voice going all weepy.  My fantasy world, the one that had been right there in front of me in 3-D color, was slipping out of my grasp.  My heart squeezed in on itself and the pain made me almost cry out.

“I have to go,” he said.  He stood.  I fell back onto my butt on the floor.

“You can’t go now!” said Jasmine, clearly distressed.  “She just poured her heart out and laid it at your feet, you idiot!”

I moved back and somehow made it into my chair, unable to look at anyone.  The shame was burning me up from the inside.  “It’s no big deal.  Just let him go.”  I couldn’t say any more or I’d throw up, right there on Jasmine’s perfectly vacuumed carpet.

Kootch sighed loudly.  “Dude, you know I’m not the most sensitive guy in the world, but you can’t just take off after all that.  Didn’t you hear what she said?”

I’d never heard Kootch sound so sweet before, and I wanted to thank him for sticking up for me, but I couldn’t get any words out.  I couldn’t even look at him or Jasmine.  I just stared at the carpet fibers, trying not to imagine the life I could have had with Malcolm at my side.

After the joy completely left my body, all I could think about was how I must have done something really terrible in my last life to have deserved this special kind of hell.  To catch a glimpse of a normal life and then have it snatched away…

“I don’t mean to be a dick, but I just can’t do this.  I just … I’ve been me for too long.  I’ve been in the dark for so long I don’t trust the light.  You can’t understand.  You just can’t.  I don’t blame you for hating me.”

He was saying this to me, but I couldn’t look at him.  It was too awful to bear.  The words were already cutting me open, and I was bleeding freely onto the floor.  I felt drained and empty.

“No.  Fuck that.  You’re not going anywhere.”  Kootch stood.

I looked up, wondering what he was going to do.  I had to stop him before he and Malcolm got into another fight.

“Just let him go,” I said, painful emotions coloring my voice and making it come out strained.

“No!  Don’t be such a frigging wimp, Rae.”  Jasmine stood next to Kootch.  “I know you like him, and I know he likes you.  You guys were obviously meant to be together.  Yin and yang, look it up!”

“That’s not us,” said Malcolm.  “I am darkness personified. She’s the light.  If we get together I’ll eventually just snuff her out like I do everyone else.”  He sounded angry and frustrated.

“Bullshit.  Everyone knows the light is stronger than the dark,” said Kootch.  “Ever take a shit in the middle of the night?”

The room went completely silent.  I’m pretty sure even the clock stopped ticking.  I looked up and saw only confusion on Jasmine and Malcolm’s faces, probably mirroring my own.

“Please tell me you have a point,” said Jasmine.

“I do.”

“A
relevant
point.”

“It is.  You go in the bathroom, take a shit in the dark ‘cause it’s the middle of the night, and then you have to light a match, right?  And what happens?’

He looked around at all of us, like he was waiting for us to catch up.  I was totally lost, now picturing Kootch with his pants around his ankles, sitting on a toilet with a lit match in his hand.  It wasn’t pretty.

“It lights up the whole damn bathroom is what I’m saying.  Just that one tiny flame gets rid of a whole damn room full of darkness.  And it gets rid of the stink too, so that’s a nice side benefit.”  He smiled at all of us, pleased with his theory.

“As disgusting as he is, and as awful as that image is that is now burned into my brain, he has a point.”  Jasmine reached over and twisted Kootch’s nipple without even looking at him.

He smacked her hand away and pretended like he was going to punch her.  Of course he didn’t.  He just rubbed his chest and scowled.

“I appreciate you trying to help, guys, I really do,” said Malcolm, “but I can’t risk it.  I can’t do it.  I like Rae and you guys too much.”

He turned and walked towards the door.

“So you’re just going to let Derek or Holder take her then, is that it?” asked Jasmine.  “The dynamic duo of assholedom?”

Malcolm stopped, his back to us.

Jasmine continued.  “Ever wonder what the hell is going on with them?  Why they’re so interested?”

Malcolm turned his head to look at us sideways.  “They’re just addicted.  Rainbows.”

“No, they’re not,” I said.  I didn’t want to manipulate him into staying, but I didn’t want to lie either or let him walk away with misunderstandings between us.  “Mr. Holder had never seen me before.  And he got more than Rainbowey on me, like, immediately.  That’s never happened to me.  Never.  I swear.”

Malcolm looked towards the door again and sighed really loudly.  His shoulders sagged and his head dropped.  He said nothing for five full seconds.  I counted them out with the clock on the wall.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

“There’s something I forgot to mention,” he said, turning back around.  He walked over to stand next to the coffee table, looking at me and then the others.

“Well, don’t keep us in suspense,” said Jasmine, sarcastically.

He put his hand on the back of his chair and squeezed it until his knuckles went white.  “I heard something.  I forgot about it until you said that, Rae.  I’m sorry I didn’t mention it or think of it before.”

I just stared at him, wondering what he was going to tell us or confess.
 
Whatever it was, he was staying to say it, so there was nothing I wanted more than to listen.

Chapter Thirty-One: Malcolm

I FELT GUILTY AS HELL.  I was planning to run.  That hadn’t changed.  But now I realized there was more to this picture than just the close-up view we’d been looking at for the past hour or so.  The conversation that I’d overheard in the bathroom came back to me in a big rush after Rae said that Mr. Holder had never met her before and couldn’t possibly be a Rainbow already.  I knew now that it was quite possible there was a bigger picture here.  It just wasn’t coming in clear enough for me to see the whole thing.

But I did finally realize who the other voice belonged to.

“It was Derek,” I said.  “In the bathroom with Mr. Holder.”

“What?” asked Kootch, confusion written all over his face.  “What were they doing in the bathroom together, and why are you telling us this disgusting factoid?”

“I was hiding in the bathroom from … doesn’t matter.  And when I was in the stall, Mr. Holder came in with Derek and they were talking about a girl.  At the time I had no idea who it was, but they were discussing getting her alone.  I can’t remember exactly what it was they said … something like they had to see if she was the one they were looking for?”  I said it like a question, searching my memory for the exact sentences they’d used.

“Looking for?  Like they knew about Rae already?” asked Jasmine, sounding excited.

“Yeah.  But when I was in detention later trying to figure out who they were looking for, I knew right away it wasn’t Rae.  They already knew too much about her and she’s new.  There was no way they could know.”

“Sure they could,” said Jasmine, her arms folded across her chest.  She looked supremely confident.

“How?” asked Rae.  She looked scared.

Kootch rolled his eyes.  “Here it comes.  Brace yourselves.”

Jasmine didn’t even spare him a glance.  “This shit happens all the time.  People in power looking for people with special abilities.  People they want to manipulate.  Trust me.  This shit is high level, international, government control.  They have access to all kinds of info.”

“Aaaaand cue the crazy,” said Kootch, stepping out of Jasmine’s range.

“Shut up, assmunch.  I know what I’m talking about.  My parents are connected.  They have a network.”

“And you’re all up in their business with them because you’re a spy kid and you have like a go-go gadget watch that shoots out grappling hooks and shit,” said Kootch, laughing around his words.

Jasmine frowned.  “I’ll deal with you later, punk.”  She turned her attention to Rae and me, all seriousness now.  “This isn’t a game.  You guys know what you do is powerful.  You can influence people.  Not just one at a time, but huge groups.  Think about what someone could do with that if they could control it.”  She paused, letting her words sink in.

They were definitely sinking in deep for me, and the expression on Rae’s face said they were doing the same to her.  It sounded eerily possible.

“My parents are part of a network of ex-military personnel and scientists…”

“Conspiracy nuts,” interjected Kootch.

“…Professionals, who keep track of shit like this.  You’re not the only ones who’ve been attacked.  Trust me.  My parents are out of town right now, but when they get back, they’re going to want to talk to you.  And they can show you some shit, too.  You’ll believe it after they show you.  I am totally not playing right now.”

Rae was shaking her head.  “I don’t think that can happen.  When I go home my parents will already have our stuff packed.  I can guarantee you right now, you won’t ever see me again after tonight.”  She hung her head.

Just the words stabbed me in the heart.  I’d been planning to disappear myself, but I guess in the back of my mind I’d imagined her staying - being somewhere where I could find her later or communicate with at least.  Picturing her just disappearing too made me feel positively ill.  I wanted to punch a wall at the unfairness of it all.  Several times.

“So, you don’t go home,” said Jasmine, as if it were so simple.

“Where’s she supposed to go?” I asked, getting pissed that Rae was in this position.  It felt like my fault.

“She can stay here with me.”  Jasmine smiled.  “I have an extra room, and if anyone comes sniffing around, you can stay in the panic room.  It’s totally rad.”

“It is rad,” agreed Kootch.  “Inner sanctum shit.  Plus lots of Ding Dongs.”

“Plus, we have Ho Ho.”  Jasmine nodded at Kootch and he nodded back.

“Can’t count out old Ho Ho,” he agreed.

“You really like that Hostess stuff, don’t you?” asked Rae, a small smile curving up the side of her mouth, making her dimple show. 
That fucking dimple.  She could turn me into a Rainbow with that alone. 
I had to look away.

“No, man.  Not the cakes.  The
beast
.  The unholy terror of bloodlust that is Ho Ho.”  Kootch smiled proudly.

“Go get him up,” said Jasmine, walking over and pushing some buttons on her alarm keypad.

“Aw, man, do I have to?”  Kootch was whining, looking distressed.

“Just do it.  But wash your hands first so he doesn’t smell the Ding Dongs on you.”

Kootch left the room, and the water went on in the kitchen.  I had no idea what a Ho Ho was, but I was definitely interested in finding out.  Knowing Jasmine, it was probably a turtle.

“You’re super nice to invite me, but I can’t stay with you, Jazzy.  My parents … you don’t know them.  They’ve been around me a long time.”

I knew the underlying meaning to her words.  They were Rainbows who couldn’t be shaken.  Time and distance away would mean nothing to them.  I had one of those once.  A Miserable who died miserable.

“Where else are you going to go?” she asked.  “You could go with Malcolm maybe.”  She looked at me.

I shook my head furiously.  “No way.  I live in a total dump.  Besides, my social worker’s coming to move me out on Monday.  I have to take off.”

“Take off?  What do you mean take off?” asked Rae.  The sad look was back on her face.

“Leave town.  Move on.  Start my life somewhere else.”  I shrugged.  It sounded stupid, especially considering I’d just spent my last ten bucks on beer.  My mouth twisted up in a sick version of a smile.

Kootch came in from the backyard through the sliding glass door.  The fact that he was struggling was clear.

“No … fuck … Ho Ho!  Stop!  No, Ho Ho,
no!
  Goddamn it!  Butts!  Come get this demon, would you?”

Jasmine smiled.  “Rae.  Malcolm.  I’d like you to meet my dragon.  Say hello to Ho Ho.”  She faced the back door.  “Ho Ho! Come!”

A gigantic brownish red I-don’t-know-what came streaking around the couch to slide to stop at Jasmine’s feet.

“Heel!” she commanded.

The beast spun around, its butt slamming into the side of the couch as it wiggled in to sit at her leg.  There wasn’t enough room there for it to do what it wanted, so it laid its shoulder against the cushions and actually pushed the furniture back a foot.  When the beast was finally settled next to its master’s leg, it looked up at her, a grin on its face.  A giant, slobbery tongue fell out of its mouth and dangled out of the side of it.  Drool soon followed.

Rae stared, her face white and her jaw hanging open in stark fear.

“I honestly thought a real dragon was going to come out of your back yard,” I said, not moving a muscle.