Dudes Down Under (37 page)

Her dad was more down-to-earth, and he and Ed had a private discussion, after which her dad seemed in a terrific mood. She wouldn’t find out for a very long time that Ed had paid off the huge mortgage on their farm and the acres around it, and had handed them the deeds free and clear.

*  *  *

Charlie waited for the chopper to stop and was smiling as his friends exited. “Welcome to paradise, guys. You two are gonna have a ball. Come on up and have a drink before you settle down for a sleep. You gotta meet some of my new friends. You won’t get to meet my Lucy till tomorrow, though. The girls are in lockdown. Come on, let’s go meet Skeet.”

“
Skeet?”

“
Yeah, short for mosquito. I don’t know, it kinda suits him, but he’s the most un-annoying bloke you’s ever want to meet. He’s the bloke I told you about. Got hurt really bad during the cyclone.”

“
Yeah, that’s a bad deal , buddy. From everything you’ve said, he sounds like a good guy.”

“
One of the best, mate.”

“
So, what’s with the big secrecy about us? I mean, Christ almighty, buddy, you got um, yeah … Tristan and Tom, er, Tony, and Ge … Jack here so why the big tell-no-one with us?”

“
You guys are kinda my wedding present to a couple folks. The fact that you are both my closest friends also helps a lot.”

“
Okay, well let’s do it, pal. I’m hangin’ for a scotch on the rocks and a long cool sleep.”

“
How’s Tony holdin’ up since Karen split?”

“
He’s hit the booze pretty heavy, but I caught sight of him comin’ outta Lucy’s office a couple hours back and he was smiling big time. So maybe it’s all good.”

“
I hope so.”

The three men entered the bar and located Skeet with no problem. He was talking to Rebecca. Cyril and Sadie were both asleep nearby.

“
I am so glad you are gonna stay, Bec. I just thought it was underst … HOLY SHIT!”

“
What? What?”

Skeet put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around as Charlie walked up with his two friends.

“
HOLY SHIT!” said Rebecca.

“
There’s an echo around here,” said Mr. Godfather as he shook her outstretched hand.

“
So, yeah, pleased to meet you both” he continued after shaking Skeet’s hand as well.

His friend was smiling and happy to meet them. “Hi folks, Charlie’s been telling us about this place. Pretty remarkable, isn’t it?”

“
What, um, sorry, mate. My brains gone to other stuff. What do you two wanna be called while ya here at
Dudes
, mates?”

“
I gotta keep it clean?”

“
Up to you entirely, mate,” Skeet said with a laugh. ”How bout we get you guys a couple cold drinks while we chat?”

“
Scotch on the rocks in a long glass, double nips.”

“
JD and Coke for me, buddy. Same deal, two nips.”

“
Not a problem. “Max,” Skeet called over at the bartender, “bring us over a bottle of your best twelve year old single malt Scotch and a bottle of JD, glasses, Coke and ice, please mate.”

“
Comin’ right up, oh master, sir.”

“
You keep that master shit up, Maxie my boy, and you’re the one that’s gonna need a fuckin’ wheel chair, mate.”

Max cracked up laughing. “Anything you say, boss man.”

“
I take it you are the manager here.”

“
Not officially yet. Charlie is stealing our Lucy away. But until she heads off, she’s still the boss lady. So what didya’s think of the view as you flew in?”

“
Mighty spectacular lookin’ resort, buddy. That water can’t really be that color, can it?”

“
Yeah, what is that, aquamarine or something? It’s almost the same color as ice in some places. I swear I could see the fish from up in the chopper.”

“
Yeah, you can, mate. That’s how clean and clear the water is. We have regular croc watch patrols up, 'cause they can spot 'em out in the water before they become a problem on shore.”

“
Crocodiles?”

“
Uh-huh, crocodiles. I can’t wait till you meet Cyril and Sadie.”

“
Oh shit!” Rebecca said. “Do you think smelling salts will work on them, Skeet.”

“
I bloody well hope so, Bec.”

“
I’ll go get some.”

“
Good idea, darlin.’”

“
Who on earth are Cyril and Sadie, and why would you possibly need smelling salts?”

“
Long story, mate. Have you guys come up with names yet?”

“
Yeah, well I have. Just Mr. P., okay?”

“
Fine by me. Mr. P it is.”

“
Yeah, call me Danny. Brings back good memories.”

“
Done deal, Danny.”

“
I guess you two better meet the reasons for the smelling salts. I don’t wanna chance it ruining the ceremonies tomorrow, so we’ll get it over now, if you guys don’t mind.”

“
Go for it, buddy.”

“
Uh-huh, yeah, let’s do it - whatever it is.”

“
See over there, mates.”

“
What, the two stuffed gators on the floor?” said Mr. P.

“
Crocodiles, mate, and they ain’t stuffed.”

“
Jesus, they are alive. Fuck, are we safe?”

“
Safer than a bank, mates. Those two are Cyril and Sadie. Cyril is the real big fella, Sadie is his girlfriend.”

“
They are your absolute biggest fans Mr. P., and they are pretty gee’d up about you as well, Danny.”

“
You are jokin’, right? Aussie humor, yeah? I mean they are fuckin’ crocodiles, buddy. Ya shittin’ me?”

“
Jesus, you are Goddamned serious, aren’t you? Oh this I gotta see. What do I do or don’t do?” said Mr. P.

“
I’ll wake ‘em both up and give ‘em a drink or two, then I’ll introduce you two. Once they realize that they are awake and that you guys are the real deal, stand back, 'cause I don’t know what they’ll do. Nothing dangerous - don’t be worried, they are tame -  but Cyril might flip out. He does that when he’s excited.”

“
I still think that you are yankin’ my chain, Skeet my man. But go do it,” said Mr. P.

Skeet grabbed the bottle of JD and wheeled over to the pair of snoring reptiles on the floor. He poured a generous amount in each of their bowls, topped up with a little cold water, and then spoke. ”Cyril, Cyril mate, wakey wakey, big-fella. C’mon mate, time to wake up. Sadie sweetheart, you too darlin’, wakey wakey.”

“
Time is it? What are you wakin’ us up early for, Skeet? We already know what we have to do tomorrow. This had better be good.”

“
Yeah, what he said.”

“
Oh look, Sadie. We have a special drinky each. What’s the story? No more surprises, I don’t think my heart can take it, but I will have that drinky. Um, yummy - JD. Is it my birthday? No, I’m an Aries. Too early for that. Is it your birthday, Sadie?”

“
Could be. I don’t know when mine is.”

“
How sad. Well, then, we can call today your birthday, can’t we?”

“
What a novel idea. Can I have more than one?”

“
I don’t see why not. Will that age you faster, do you think?”

“
Hmm, don’t know.”

“
This is a good drink. Not as nice as my banana daiquiri, though.”

“
I must try one of those.”

“
They are marvelous.”

“
Hmmm. Oh shame, I seem to have finished already. I’ll grovel for another, shall I?”

“
Oh yes, please do.”

“
Er-hem, Skeet. Skeet! Oh bloody hell, must I do that grunting thing?”

“
It’s in a good cause, Cyril dear.”

“
Oh, very well.”

“
Right, yeah, all right. Calm down, big fella. I’ll give you both one more then we have a little surprise for you both.”

“
Oh spare me! I knew it. Another surprise. Not another female, I hope, Skeet. I’m happy with my Sadie, he-heh.”

“
Smart croc.”

“
Yes, I rather thought you might think so.”

“
Let’s drink to that.”

“
I’ll drink to anything.”

“
I know.”

“
Sigh! I hope this surprise is at least not ugly.”

“
Me too. Maybe it’s another boy croc.”

“
It had better not be.”

“
Oooh, I like it when you get thingy.”

“
Thingy be buggered. I just don’t like violence if I can avoid it.”

“
My hero.”

“
Yes, I am.”

“
C’mon drink up, you pair. Bec, you ready, just in case?”

“
Yeah, got four bottles, and a crowd of onlookers to boot.”

“
Righto, then. Cyril, Sadie, close your eyes and keep ‘em shut ‘til I tell ya to open them. Grunt once if you understand.”

“
Once each, or one of us once for both?”

“
Let’s do once each. On three - one, two, three, grunt.”

“
I’ll be damned. Look at that. They both grunted once and then closed their eyes,” said Mr. P. in admiration.

“
You guys ain’t seen nothing yet,” said Charlie.

“
Okay. Mr. P. and Danny, come over here where they can see you clearly when they open their eyes, then step back a couple feet. Okay, guys?”

“
Yeah, can do.”

“
Okay.”

“
Right, Cyril, Sadie, on the count of three, open your eyes. One, two, three, open.”

“
Okay, sigh! They're open. What am I supos - ? Aaaarrrggghhhhhhhhhh! My God, it's you, it’s him, it’s you. Oh my God! Oh my God, Sadie, it’s him and … aaarrrhhghh! ... It’s him as well.”

“
Ohhhh my-oh-my-oh-my! It’s really truly honestly him! Aaaarrrgghhh!”

“
Get ready, Bec!”

The two crocs were grunting rapidly and began spinning in circles like rappers on steroids, around and around, and grunting faster as they went, till suddenly they stopped and flipped over in tandem with all eight legs stuck straight up in the air - out cold.

Bec hurried across to Sadie and handed a bottle of smelling salts to Mr. P. who had decided he was quite safe. She roused Sadie, and Mr. P. managed to bring Cyril around. But Cyril, finding his all-time favorite actor patting his crocodile self, promptly passed out again. It took about three more goes before the crocs settled down to being just drooling messes.

Chapter 40

The guests began gathering outside the Grand Ballroom at 4:00 p.m. sharp. Everyone was invited and the staff on duty would get a birds-eye view as well.

The ushers opened the double doors and the inside secret had everyone gasping in admiration. Lana and her teams had created magic. Hundreds of candles lit the interior, giving the room an ambience in keeping with its romantic décor. The theme song began and the priest beckoned Ed and his best man, Max, to the front.

When they had taken their places, all heads turned as the wedding march played. Sidney, looking radiant in her fushia bridesmaid's dress, scattered rose petals as she walked ahead of the bride. Ginny followed soon after. Stunningly beautiful in her Scarlett O’Hara gown, she walked down the aisle on the arm of her very proud father.

The other members of the wedding party were hidden in two sections of the ballroom. Skeet, Lucy, Izzy, Lana and Didi on one side, with Charlie, Tristan, and Jack on the other. All watched happily as Ed and their Ginny exchanged vows. A round of applause went up as the bride and groom kissed and the priest introduced them as Mr. and Mrs. Guest.

The bride and groom and all the guests headed outside for champagne and photographs. There was a break of half-an-hour before Lucy and Charlie were to be married. And the huge marquee was still under wraps.

Once everyone was ready, including Ginny and her wedding party, the marquee was opened up for all to be seated.