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Authors: R.L. Stine

Dumb Clucks

BOOK: Dumb Clucks
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Rotten School

Dumb Clucks
R.L. Stine

Illustrations by Trip Park

For Cameron

–TP

Contents

1.
Me're Not Mmmminto Mmmmadpoles

2.
A Birdbrain That Thinks

3.
Cluck-Bluck-Luck?

4.
The Upchuck Calls

5.
No Stink Bomb, No Naughty Words

6.
Upchuck Does a Happy Dance

7.
Hatch Your Own

8.
Like Picking Your Nose

9.
Chicken on Ice

10.
Rah Rah Rotten School

11.
The Caped Quacker

12.
Danglephobia

13.
He's Coo-Coo-Coolossal!

14.
Calm and Quiet

15.
Why Does a Chicken Have Three Toes?

16.
Flash!

17.
Flytraps for The Upchuck

18.
Cover Your Ears!

19.
Don't Catch the Plague!

20.
It Turns into a Surprise Party

21.
A Thank-You from the Headmaster

22.
The School Is Ruined!

Good morning, Rotten Students. This is Headmaster Upchuck, wishing you a Rotten day in every way. I have today's morning announcements.

But first I have a reminder for those students who are trying to drown out my voice by barking like a dog. Many students are interested in what I have to say, so please be courteous.

 

BARK BARK BARKBARK!

BARK BARK BARK!

 

Who was that? Get his name. I want that stopped. I mean it. It's not funny.

Here are today's important announcements. Please listen carefully.

 

BARK BARK BARKBARK!

BARK BARK BARK!

 

The meeting of the After-School “No Members Allowed” Club was canceled because no one showed up.

 

This message from Chef Baloney. He wants all students who complained about last night's dinner to know that monkey brains are considered a
treat
in some parts of the world.

 

Our science teacher, Mr. M.T. Beeker, has an urgent message: Eight monkeys are missing from the science lab. If anyone knows where they are, please contact Mr. Beeker.

 

Coach Manley Bunz has figured out why our first-grade softball team is such a big loser. He would like to remind team members that your head is used in
soccer
—not softball.

 

Fifth-grade class clown Harry Sholders will be demonstrating how to send your sneeze flying across the table at lunch today.

 

Our librarian, Ms. Shuttup, reminds all students that the Rotten School books by R.L. Stine are not allowed in this school because they are filled with lies, lies,
LIES
!

BOOK: Dumb Clucks
4.81Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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