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Authors: Louis Hatchett

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Hines was still excited about the previous day, which he was only too happy to relate. “Yesterday Mrs. Hines and I went up in Connecticut and ate at four different places. I just tasted. You know how to taste? For sweet and sour, you use the tip of your tongue. To tell what herbs are in a dish, you put it in the back of your mouth and roll it around for a while. Don't swallow it right down like an old hound dog back there in Kentucky.”

Hines then related that he had just been interviewed on a heavily prepared radio show. He said of the experience, with decisive finality, that he did not enjoy it. “I don't like a script,” he said. “I tell ‘em, ‘When you're going to ask me a question, beckon like this, and I'll be ready to answer. If you want me to stop talking, hold up your hand.' That's all the script I need.”

Another reporter, changing the subject, asked him what was New York's best restaurant. Hines's opinion on this was always changing. This time he said that it was the Newport at 18 East 60th Street, but then Hines shook his head and fretted that it was much too expensive for most Americans. When he discovered among his inquisitors a New York-based female reporter for the Louisville
Courier-Journal
, he quickly befriended her. “Now write this down for the people in Kentucky,” he asked her. “Say I'm happy to see that the good restaurants south of the Ohio [River] are cleaning up. And say I'll be happy to get home and eat two-year-old ham, cornbread, beaten biscuits, pound cake, yellow-leg fried chicken, and corn pudding. And you can say what I think is the best eating-place in Kentucky; The Beaumont Inn in Harrodsburg.”
561

On 15 March 1950 almost a week before his 70th birthday, Hines and Clara left Bowling Green for another lengthy trip. Their plans were to travel “to Chicago for three days, San Francisco for a
week, to Los Angeles for ten days and to Phoenix for two weeks and back home the first of May.” He hoped they would get to New England on their next trip in “the later part of June” because, said Hines, “I am hungry for some of that super-duper New England food…. “
562

When Hines and Clara arrived at the Green Gables Restaurant in Phoenix, Arizona on 14 April, members of the “Duncan Hines Family” gave him a belated gift for his birthday, a new Cadillac convertible automobile. This had been their practice since the end of the war. Hines accepted neither fees nor gifts from others and the only way his “family” members could make him accept the vehicle was if they all contributed equal donations toward its purchase. The restaurant where the festivities for the nearly month-late birthday celebration took place was as colorful as Hines himself. Guests were met at the door of the Green Gables by a mounted knight-in-armor; then they were heralded by trumpeters dressed in Errol Flynn-styled Robin Hood costumes. At the apex of the evening's jubilant repast—the presentation of the car—a small boy in a medieval costume presented Hines with a satin pillow upon which lay a certificate of ownership and a set of golden keys to the Cadillac. This was followed by a silver-plated armored knight who rolled a cart into the dining room; upon the cart rested an enormous birthday cake. When it was placed in front of the guest of honor, Hines heartily blew out the candles. The knight then presented Hines with a sword and asked him to stand so he could cut the first slice of cake. As soon as Hines placed the first carved piece upon a glass plate, a stringed ensemble commenced playing sweet melodies and continued their acoustical merriment throughout dinner while a soloist sang a plentitude of Kentucky ballads. As the orchestra played throughout the evening, the guests heartily consumed the wealth of food before them, which included “hors d'oeuvres, canapes a la russe, Miami green mock turtle soup aux quenelles, lobster cocktail supreme a la Parisienne, hearts of palms salad (flown in from Rio di Janeiro), Green Gables dressing-garlic toast, Golden Wisconsin pheasant (flown in from Wisconsin), sauce bigarde, potato souffle, cauliflower a la Aubrel, Vesuvian
dream, demitasse cognac” and many other exquisite delicacies. On each dinner menu were the words, “Happy Birthday and Hats Off to You, Duncan Hines. Sincere best wishes to one, who, more than any other, has placed greater opportunity for gracious living before the nation's motoring, dining and vacationing public. We, your family and your thousands of followers throughout America who have benefited by your untiring efforts, extend our appreciation.”
563

For most of the latter part of 1950 Hines and Clara went everywhere promoting Duncan Hines Ice Cream. They criss-crossed the country for their company, making personal appearances wherever they were needed. They didn't mind. Their travels gave them an excuse to visit some new restaurants throughout the country, as well as call on old favorites. To cite just a few of the places they visited that year, on 10 September 1950 Hines and Clara ate a tasty meal at the Doll House at 1518 South Main Street in Salt Lake City, Utah. Eleven days later (21 September), they dined at the Airport Restaurant in Wichita, Kansas. Also on that same hot September day they visited an establishment known as “The Farm” where they posed for photographers in front of an enormous display of Duncan Hines Ice Cream. Upon arising in Wichita the next morning (22 September), Hines and Clara continued their promotional duties. Hines gave the local newspaper an interview. Later, just before heading off for another engagement, the couple posed once again for Wichita photographers while eating from cartons of Duncan Hines ice cream.

Early the next month (3 October), while on a publicity tour for Duncan Hines Ice Cream in Flint, Michigan, they found themselves at the doorstep of Cromer's Restaurant at 500 North Saginaw, where they sampled the sour cream cabbage slaw, hot cloverleaf rolls and other popular favorites for which the restaurant was known. Eleven days later (14 October), after a New England promotional tour, the couple were in Whitman, Massachusetts, visiting yet again the Toll House and his good friends, Ruth and Kenneth Wakefield. Less than two weeks later (26 October), they were seated at a table in the Swiss Chalet restaurant at Chicago's
Bismarck Hotel, where they dined on onion cake, among other things, with his other special friends, the proprietors of the Lowell Inn, Arthur and Nelle Palmer.
564
They did not always travel to see others; sometimes others traveled to see them. A few months later (29 January 1951), they were honored with a visit to Bowling Green by movie and radio personalities Gene Autry and Smiley Burnett.
565

At the 10th annual Duncan Hines Family Dinner held at the Morrison Hotel in Chicago on 8 May 1951, Hines told those gathered at the event that he and Clara had traveled through 39 states since they had last gathered a year earlier. While on these travels, said Hines, he been given both the time and the opportunity to reflect upon the many notable and significant changes in the restaurant industry that had transpired during the previous fifteen years, including advances in sanitation and better preparation of food. With this change, he noted, had come a wider acceptance among the American public in attitudes toward eating out. He cited as evidence the more than 40 million people who now ate out every day. He congratulated the restaurateurs for their efforts in upgrading their kitchens and making American restaurant cuisine respectable. He told them that the ranks of the Duncan Hines Family would continue to swell because he was getting fifty restaurant recommendations in the mail every day. Everyone, it seemed, had a new adventure in good eating for him to explore; something, he told them, should come from his imminent investigations. In the meantime, he urged them to join the American Restaurant Association if they had not already done so; the association was full of ideas to help them improve their trade. Likewise, he urged all hotel and motel managers in attendance to subscribe to
Hotel Monthly
and
American Motel
for new ideas on how to make their businesses even better. Hines insisted that they should never stop improving their establishments, whether for dining or lodging or a combination of the two. He told them that “there is no question but that cooking in public eating places in America is improving faster perhaps than many of you realize. A gratifying percentage of the public are becoming more food
conscious and they will not patronize places where the food is not consistently good…. All over America thousands and thousands of people are giving serious thought about choosing the right place to eat.”
566
Hines was very proud of his “family” members and the part they had played in changing how Americans viewed the restaurant industry—and just as proud of the considerable part he had played in bringing about that transformation.

At this same gathering Hines told several anecdotes from his many years on the road. Most of the stories he told that evening were ones he had recounted many times before. He did tell a new story, however, one that came about during his recent trip to Mexico. He had arrived in Tamazunchale at the home of a friend, whom Hines would only identify as Col. Zelinsky. “It was rather late for dinner,” said Hines, but the hour of the day was immaterial as far as the Colonel was concerned. Soon after he and Clara had arrived at their host's home, Col. Zelinsky announced that he had arranged to serve them an exceedingly fine dinner, one that would make their mouths water for more. The Colonel told the couple that his cook would be serving wiener schnitzel that evening; it was, he boasted, the best wiener schnitzel ever served in Mexico. Hines, his interest peaked by the Colonel's braggadocio, agreed to try it. But when dinner was finally served, Hines quickly changed his mind. “When the wiener schnitzel was brought,” he said, “I thought it looked very queer.”
567
It was then that he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. “Experience should have taught me,” he confessed, “that I was asking for trouble [when I agreed to eat] a European specialty prepared…in a dusty little Mexican town. I should have asked for frijoles refritos and tortillas and let it go at that.” As Hines was about to stab his fork into his meal, he examined it more carefully. “What I saw appalled me,” he said. “The Colonel's pride and joy was unlike any wiener schnitzel I'd ever seen, and I've never seen anything like it since, either. It was an odd color that I couldn't quite make out in the dimly lighted room, and it curled up at the edges like an old shoe that has laid out in the sun and the rain for a long time. The odor that arose from it was, to say the least, unpleasant. I certainly wasn't going to eat that!”
568

Thinking fast, he remembered that one should not drink any water in Mexico unless he was crazy or desperate, so he asked Col. Zelinsky to get him a bottle of beer. “While he was gone,” said Hines, “I cut off one corner, wiped it off with my napkin and stuck it in my pocket. When Col. Zelinsky came back, I told him that I was awfully sorry, but I had forgotten that I was under doctor's orders and was not allowed to eat any meat. But that it looked so good that I hadn't been able to resist trying one bite. This seemed to satisfy him, but when I looked at it the next morning, I concluded that it was a piece of stewed burro's ear, for it was [as] blue as anything. I still don't know what would have happened to me if I had tried to eat it.”
569
When Hines left Tamazunchale, he did so with few regrets, but he couldn't help wondering if someone had missed a burro lately.
570

While Duncan Hines had no doubt left his mark on America's social landscape, as the decade of the 1950s began his thoughts repeatedly turned to a question that increasingly vexed him. How was he going to dispose of the hobby that had become a publishing success? More pointedly, could he relinquish control of what he had started? And did he really want to?

17
T
HE
O
FFICE
L
IFE

By 1951 Duncan Hines had, as the cliché goes, “too many irons in the fire.” When he turned seventy-one in March, he knew he was not immortal. He no doubt wondered what Clara's future would hold should he suddenly pass away. With this thought hanging about the periphery of his consciousness, he began to probe into the possibility of finding someone to take over his book publishing business. He wanted someone in whom he could have complete trust, someone who would make the decisions he made, someone who would continue to promote his business as he did. Although he greatly trusted Roy Park, he chose not to ask him for help in this matter. Park had his hands full promoting his name via canned and boxed grocery products; asking him to assume control over his book publishing operation seemed inappropriate. So he looked within the ranks of his family for help. One of the first people he turned to was his sister's son, also named Duncan Hines. For a short time the younger Hines worked for his famous uncle, but he quit after about three weeks because his uncle was partial to “blowing up” at him over usually inconsequential matters. The sad truth is that while reason told Hines he needed to transfer his business over to another, his emotions would not allow him to relinquish control. Adventures in Good Eating was his child. Like a
parent, he had nourished it, developed it and witnessed its spectacular growth. The mere fact that someone, particularly a relative, might come along and suggest some (probably efficient) modifications was more than he could bear; the situation could be likened to a famed portraitist watching a mischievous seven-year-old draw a mustache on a work of art upon which he had labored for many years. Nevertheless, between 1950 and 1952 Hines tried to find someone to adopt his creation wholesale with the unmentioned proviso that it not be changed in any way. As he was to learn, painfully, it was a qualification no one could accept.

One of the people whom Hines had in mind as a replacement was an army air corp officer. A few years earlier, in 1946 and early 1947, Hines had spoken with his relative by marriage, Clarence Herbert Welch of Los Angeles, California, about taking over Adventures in Good Eating, Inc. In 1945 he learned Welch was considering leaving the armed services and asked him if he would be interested in administering the business affairs of Adventures in Good Eating. Hines admitted the financial aspects of his business was not his strongest suit. Although his background was in sales, public relations was where he really shined. Someone else, he thought, should handle the clerical responsibilities. Welch agreed to accept the position if he could conclusively determine there was enough money in it to support himself and his family.

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